Skip to main content
Scott's Blog of Doom!
  • Daily Updates
  • Scott's Rants
  • Headlines
  • Daily Updates
  • Scott's Rants
  • Headlines
  • Observer Flashbacks
  • Mailbag
  • Archives
Scott's Blog of Doom
Rants

Wrestlemania Sun Main Eventers

By Scott Keith on 29 March 2017

Scott,


Since Vince has fully become Mr. Burns I was thinking of the classic Simpsons episode Homer at the Bat where Burns brings in MLB ringers to replace his employees in the softball


Naturally in Vince’s warped mind the part timers (even those who can’t wrestle) are more important and treated as real stars compared ot the other losers (ie full timers)


It got me thinking of which part timers would be equal to the ringers and their fates

Rock- Arrested for every unsolved murder in Miami (Steve Sax)
Sting- Lost in Orlando Mystery Spot (Ozzie Smith)
Steve Austin- Hypnotized to think he’s a chicken (Roger Clemens)
Big Show- Knocked out in one punch (Wade Boggs)
Goldberg- Hospitalized for injuries (Mike Scocsia)
Brock Lesnar- Fired by Vince for sideburns, doesn’t give a shit (Don Mattingly)

Mick Foley- Gigantism from Brain Tonic (Ken Griffey)
Shawn Michaels – Cuckolded by woman who’s house is on fire (Jose Canseco)

Roman Reigns- Honorary Part Timer who sheds a tear a jeering (Darryl Strawberry)


Couldn’t you see Vince saying before Wrestlemania to the fulltimers "All right, you ragtag bunch of misfits! You hate me, and I hate you even more. But without my beloved ringers, you’re all I’ve got. So I want you to remember some inspiring words that someone else might have told you over the course of your lives, and go out there and win!"

​I feel like maybe Kurt Angle should be slotted in as Strawberry, shedding the tear when people still tell him he sucks. Otherwise, this idea is so awesome they should do an animated remake on the Network. ​

Search

Recent Posts

  1. The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.30.26 (A Tribute to Pac) Rants
  2. Morning Daily News Update: October 1, 2026 – Bryan Danielson Makes Shock AEW In-Ring Return On Dynamite Rants
  3. Evening Daily News Update – September 30, 2026 Rants
  4. What the World Was Watching: In Your House 9: International Incident Rants
  5. A Moment In Time – PAC vs Ace Austin – Collision 09.23.26 Rants
Scott's Blog of Doom!
  • Email Scott
  • Follow Scott on Twitter
© 2026 Scott's Blog of Doom! Read about our privacy policy.