This has nothing to do with the WWE
Before the show, Bayless is with the Administration and the Job Mob. He said that he relied on a friend to get them out of jail after Vinson and pulled some strings of his own so they could all be here tonight. Bayless then tells them to remember the plan and that everything will come together as long as that happens.
Six Man Tag Team Match
BoD Tag Team Championship Gauntlet Match
Midcard Mafia vs. Trunk Barlow & Slip Karstens
Tag Team Champions, the Upper Midcard Express, are watching from ringside. The MCM start off against the ex-Spam Bots. Barlow charges at Piers but misses and Piers catches him with a backbreaker. Piers tags Ferrari and they hit a double gutbuster. Karstens runs in and eats a double super kick. Ferrari takes Barlow on his shoulders and Piers climbs up top and hits a DDT as that gets the pin. One down, nine to go.
Midcard Mafia vs. Rockstar Gary & #1 Fan
Gary and Ferrari go at it briefly to start. #1 Fan grabs Ferrari from the apron as Gary hammers away. #1 fan tags and he hits an elbow drop. #1 fan misses a second attempt and Ferrari tags out. Piers springboards in with a clothesline then takes Gary off of the apron with a dropkick. Piers tags Ferrari and he hits #1 fan with a tombstone piledriver as Piers prevents Gary from breaking up the pin as the MCM score another pinfall.
Midcard Mafia vs. Bill Ray & Average Joe Everyman
Joe & Ray attack the MCM from behind. They put the boots to the MCM outside of the ring. Back inside, Ray gets two with a sitout powerbomb on Piers. Ray tags Joe and they use a few double-team moves as the MCM are showing a bit of fatigue here. Joe chokes out Piers as the UMX are throwing popcorn into their mouths while holding on to their helmets. Piers fights back but Ray kicks him down from the apron and the ref is dealing with Ferrari as his partner is getting double-teamed. Piers rolls away from a splash and makes the tag to Ferrari, who runs wild. He backdrops a charging Ray to the floor then picks up Joe and hits a tombstone before tagging Piers, who flies off the top with a frog splash for the pin.
Midcard Mafia vs. WWF1987 & Bobby
Bobby and WWF1987 are taking it to the MCM who are definitely slowing down. Bobby is the true shooter of the BoD and stretches out Ferrari with the Rings of Saturn. Bobby tags WWF1987 who hammers away on Ferrari in the corner. Bobby rings his signature cowbell that he modeled after Jimmy Jack Funk on the apron as Piers rallies his partner from the apron as the UMX look on in approval. Ferrari is taking a beating as Bobby has him in a butterfly lock. WWF1987 tags and goes up top and hits a double axe handle and covers but only gets two. WWF1987 sends Ferrari into the corner but misses a charge as both men are down. Ferrari crawls over to make a tag but Bobby runs over and knocks Piers off of the apron. WWF1987 gets up but Ferrari catches him in a small package and that gets two. WWF1987 gets up but Ferrari takes him down and makes the tag! Piers runs wild on this newly formed team. Bobby grabs the cowbell and swing it at Piers but he ducks and it whacks WWF1987. Piers knocks down Bobby then Piers picks up WWF1987 and hits the Falcon Arrow for the pin. The UMX are starting to look a bit worried here.
Midcard Mafia vs. Paul Meekin & White Thunder
Meekin grabs the mic and starts to rap:
I am the big bruiser
Left the BoD
Because I am sick of you losers
Ebert would never write you
Ya illiterate pricks
Maybe you can understand this
Y’all can suck my…………
And Piers dropkicks Meekin into Thunder as he spills out. The MCM take Meekin and hit him with a double clothesline then Piers hits him with a frog splash for the pin.
Midcard Mafia vs. Dancin’ Devin Harris & Lil’ James
Harris grabs the mic:
“Me an my partner were thinking and since the GM and UMX are not giving the MCM a fair shot, we won’t play fair either. C’mon James, lets get FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!
The bell rings and James & Harris start dancing outside of the ring. They are intentionally getting counted out as the UMX are livid. The bell sounds as the MCM move one step closer to the belts. SOMEBODY CALL MAMA HARRIS AND LET HER KNOW HER SON DID A GOOD DEED PRIOR TO GITTIN’ FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!
Midcard Mafia vs. THE RIPSHIT KILLERS
Uh oh, THE RIPSHIT KILLERS ARE OUT AND UNLEASHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE YETAAAAY and ARRRRGH THE BARBARIAN are looking as crazy as ever. They go after the MCM but they duck the attack and come back with dropkicks. ARRRRGH charges but the MCM catch him with a double hiptoss but they then eat a double clothesline from THE YETAAAAY. The MCM are down and hurt as ARRRRGH gets revenge with a flying shoulder tackle on Piers. THE YETAAAAY runs in and goes for a big boot but accidentally hits his partner and Piers uses a reverse rollup for the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just two teams left for the MCM!!!!
Midcard Mafia vs. Curtzerker
Oh man, what a tough, tough draw. The HUSS section is in full force tonight. Williams and Piers start off the match. Williams pushes Piers in the corner as theberzerker screams HUSS!!! HUSS!!!! HUSS!!! as the HUSS section chants along with him. Williams takes down Piers then tags theberzerker, who screams “HUSS” into the face of Piers. Fatigue is starting to set in with the MCM as theberzerker has Piers in a chinlock. Curtzerker is using quick tags to isolate Piers as Ferrari tries to rally his partner. theberzerker chops Piers hard in the corner as he HUSSES in his face. Williams tags and puts on a high angle single leg crab that bends Piers in half. Piers is in trouble as Williams nails him with a crucifix bomb for two. theberzerker tags and goes up top. Oh my! He leaps but Piers dropkicks him in midair as both men are down. Ferrari is stomping on the apron as the crowd is getting behind Piers, who somersaults over and makes the tag! Ferrari clotheslines theberzerker then hits him with a slam. He starts swinging and hammering away on Curtzerker as he is a one-man wrecking crew. Piers starts to get up but from behind, kbjone whacks him on the knee with his helmet then kicks him down! Ferrari then picks up Williams for the tombstone and hits it for the win! However, he looks over and sees his partner clutching his knee. They now have a shot at the belts.
Midcard Mafia vs. Upper Midcard Express
The UMX run in and attack Ferrari from behind. Petuka then chop blocks Piers, who flies off of the apron. Back in the ring, kbjone is beating on Ferrari. Tag to Petuka and the UMX are hammering on Ferrari in the corner. Piers tries to climb back on the apron but kbjone runs over and takes him off with a baseball slide. The UMX’s strategy is too beat on Ferrari and constantly attack the injured knee of Piers. The UMX hit a double slingshot suplex and cover but that only gets two. kbjone yells at the ref to count faster as Petuka chokes out Ferrari on the apron. The UMX stay on the attack as Piers is barely able to stand. kbjone is up top and comes off with a knee drop but Ferrari gets his foot on the ropes during the pin attempt. Ferrari is struggling mightily here as the UMX are fresh and dominant because of the way this match was arraigned by our no good GM. Petuka tags and oh my god he is setting up for the Petuka Bazooka. THE PETUKA BAZOOKA. Petuka picks him up but Ferrari slips out. He ducks a clothesline and comes back with a super kick as both men are down. Ferrari can try to tag but his partner might have less of a chance than he does. kbjone runs in and pulls Ferrari back as the ref orders him on the apron. Petuka gets up and drops an elbow but Ferrari rolls away. He tries to make the tag as Piers is on the apron clutching onto his knee. Petuka tags then shoves Ferrari into Piers, who this time twists around and makes the tag. Petuka laughs as Piers clutches his knee. He moves closer and tries to kick his leg but Piers dodges the attack and chops Petuka. Piers slingshots in and hits a clothesline. Piers is in agony as kbjone runs in but Piers rolls away from him. kbjone charges but Piers pulls down the ropes and he flies outside. Petuka gets up and Piers hits a back suplex and he is climbing up top. kbjone runs over to push Piers off but Ferrari spears him through the ropes and they both fall to the floor. Piers is up top and he flies and hits the frog splash!!!!!! COVER HIM. COVER HIM. Piers is crawling over to Petuka and goes to make the cover one……….two………………..thr…………..no!!!!!!! That’s GM Bayless and he just yanked out the referee. OH COME ON. The referee now signals for the bell as the MCM win by disqualification. The MCM were robbed by this evil GM.
Andy PG vs. Tommy Hall
Tommy is sporting a badass Tim Couch University of Kentucky throwback tonight. The winner here will receive the loser’s paycheck tomorrow night on RAW. The rumor is that Tommy made the stipulations as he is in debt for all of the throwback jerseys he bought. Tommy also blames Andy for why he is not the BoD Writer’s Champion. Tommy goes after Andy but he ducked. Andy slides underneath the legs of Tommy then gets two with a reverse rollup. Tommy swing and misses then Andy takes him down with an enziguiri. Andy works the arm then Tommy reverses as they trade arm wringers. Tommy knees Andy then hammers away. Tommy hits Andy with a facebuster then works a chinlock. Tommy screams “that’s my paycheck” then breaks to do the make it rain taunt. Tommy pumps up his sneakers then climbs up top and delivers an elbow smash but that does not put Andy away. Tommy grapevines the leg and stretches out Andy as he yells about how he will get Andy’s paycheck. Tommy tries to make Andy tap but he will not submit. Andy manages to escape but Tommy runs over and drops a knee before taking control. Tommy gets frustrated as he takes Andy up top and climbs up for a superplex but Andy blocks the attempt. Andy punches away and grabs a front facelock. He then flips over Tommy and balances himself on top then takes Tommy down with a super reverse neckbreaker as both men are down! Holy shit, indeed. Andy struggles to get up but does and picks up Tommy. He hits several knee smashes then whips Tommy into the corner. Andy charges and gets backdropped but lands on the apron. Andy catches Tommy with a forearm smash then goes for a slingshot attack but it sends Tommy into the referee, who flies outside. Andy has Tommy for a DDT but that get reversed and Tommy uses a thumb to the eye to slow down Andy. Tommy takes Andy down with a shoulderblock and now reaches into his pants for his sock filled with his e-book coins. Um, that sock seems a bit light to me. Tommy takes out the sock and hits Andy but it has no effect because Tommy is very short on legitimate currency. He tosses the sock out of anger and all that falls out are two nickles and a token from Chuck E Cheese. Tommy goes over to make sure the referee is down and goes out to grab a chair. He looks to hit Andy but he ducks then they fight over the chair as it goes flying when they crash to the ground. These guys are brawling then take it back inside. Tommy catches Andy low just before the referee gets up. The ref is in the ring as Tommy sets Andy up for the Vader Bomb but Andy gets up and cuts him off. Tommy kicks him down then gets off the top rope. He attempts a clothesline but Andy ducks that then grabs his arm and puts him in a La Magistral Cradle and gets the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tommy is shocked as he will be losing his paycheck tomorrow night. Andy celebrates the victory as Hall is yelling obscenities at him.
GM Bayless vs. Jef Vinson
And now, part three of Hoss and the Ice Cream Truck:
(Hoss is driving with the hillbilly Pump N’ Pantry Clerk. He pulls over at the Ben & Jerry’s distribution center. Hoss drives the truck through the gates and pulls up sideways underneath a window)
Hoss: CLIMB THROUGH THE WINDOW AND GET ME ICE CREAM. YOU BETTER FILL THIS TRUCK.
Hillbilly: But I cant carry all of that back through the window.
Hoss: YOU STUPID FUCK, ONCE YOU BREAK IN YOU GO THROUGH THE DOOR. AND IF YOU GET ME HEALTH FOOD, I WILL KNOCK OUT THE TWO TEETH YOU HAVE LEFT. (Hoss then shoves the Hillbilly down as he climbs on top of the truck and breaks the window and climbs in but the alarm goes off. The Hillbilly comes back through the door a few minutes later with ice cream)
Hoss: (Looks at Strawberrry Cheesecake flavor) I SAID NO HEALTH FOOD (Throws it at the Hillbilly’s head then chokeslams him down as he hears sirens. Hoss hops in his truck and takes off as the two-toothed Hillbilly is unconscious. Hoss made sure to toss all of the non “health food” ice cream in his truck)
Cultstatus vs. Jobber
And here we are in a matchup of the inaugural BoD Mania main event. Cultstatus took the belt from Jobber last time and will he do the same again? Cult signals that he will be the champion as Jobber and the rest of the Job Mob laugh. They lockup and fight against the ropes until they finally break. Jobber ducks out and consults with the Job Mob as the crowd taunts him. Big Dirty Murph sparks up a joint as he yells back at the fans. Jobber heads back in as he locks up with Cult. Jobber catches Cult with a back elbow smash. Jobber charges but Cult picks him up and presses him over his head and tosses him outside at his stable!!!!!!!! Cult then challenges all of them to come inside of the ring. Jobber holds the back of his neck as he once again regroups before going back inside. Cult slingshots Jobber back in then drops an elbow that gets two. Cult gets up and tries a suplex but Jobber blocks it then backs Cult into the corner. These two trade chops then Zanatude grabs the leg of Cult and that allows Jobber to stun him with an European Uppercut. Jobber stays on the attack as he wears out the ex-champ with an abdominal stretch that he turns into a gutbuster. Jobber tosses Cult outside then yells at the ref as the Job Mob beat on Cult. They roll Cult back inside as Jobber covers but only gets two. Jobber picks up Cult and hits a backbreaker then repeats the move and covers but Cult still manages to kick out. Jobber heads up top and hits a missile dropkick and covers but that only gets two. Jobber beats on Cult in the corner then charges but eats boot. Cult shakes off the cobwebs and heads over to Jobber and fires away. He whips Jobber against the ropes and drops him with a big boot. Cult picks up Jobber and hits a piledriver! He covers but that only gets two. Cult picks up Jobber but Big Dirty Murph jumps up on the apron. Cult runs him off then Zanatude and Chartock step on opposing sides of the ring and that allows Jobber to get back up and drop Cult. Jobber picks up Cult but out come the Midcard Mafia as they run out and attack the Job Mob!!!!!!!!!! Piers is still limping but that will not prevent him from getting revenge on the Job Mob. The ref is paying attention to the brawl outside as Jobber has Cult up for the Razor’s Edge but Cult slips out. Jobber ducks a clothesline then they both collide and are down. The brawl outside is spilling into the stands as the ref yells at them to stop. But, out holding a chair comes a bandaged and still bloodied Parallax.That is the same chair Cult used on Jobber as the camera zooms in on the blood splatter than remains on that chair. He barely seems to know what he is doing and looks to be headed towards Cult, who is beating on Jobber. Parallax ducks behind the apron as Jobber reverses an Irish whip then Parallax holds the chair sideways and cracks Cult in the back of the leg. Cult is hunched over then Parallax gets up and whacks Cult in the head and Jobber sets him up and hits the Razor’s Edge for the win!!!!!!! Jobber retains his title. Jobber celebrates as Parallax staggers up the ramp. The Job Mob celebrate with Jobber as the shows ends. TUNE IN TOMORROW NIGHT TO BoD RAW AT 10:35 PM EST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!