Tracy Smothers

Ever see an Ultimate Warrior match and wondered what it would be like if he was even WORSE? Have I got the match for you today!

Welcome back to another Dream Matches column! This week I have a column of sheer insanity for you, as we start off with the infamous Blade Runners (Sting & the Ultimate Warrior as paralyzingly-bad bodybuilders in their rookie year) taking on Tracy Smothers and Ricky Gibson, the chubby brother of Robert! Some see the most horrible double-team move in the entire history of wrestling! I dare you!

More weird tag team action, as the random duo of useless failed gimmicks “Double J” Jesse James & Rockabilly are thrown together and sent against “the other two Los Boriquas”- you know, not the hairy one or Savio. Yeah, THIS is the formation of the New Age Outlaws, more or less. Then it’s over to WCW as the Japanese Invasion continues, with Masahiro Chono & Kensuke Sasaki take on the NASTY BOYS of all people, while of course a better worker than all four sits in the crowd watching her husband work.

And finally, on recommendation I check out Don Leo Jonathan, a 6’6″ worker DECADES ahead of his time, taking on Strong Kobayashi in the best match I’ve ever seen from the 1970s!

THE BLADE RUNNERS (Rock & Sting) vs. TRACY SMOTHERS & RICKY GIBSON:
(Mid-South, NE State University, Tahlequah- March 3rd 1986)
* Oh yeah, it’s BLADE RUNNERS time! This is of course Sting & the Ultimate Warrior as ultra-roided (like, even more than they were later!), green-as-grass rookies wearing lipstick and dark eyeshadow in some kind of KISS/New Wave style (I was expecting more of a “Road Warriors” thing). And their opponents are also wild- future legendary Southern also-ran Tracy Smothers teaming with Robert Gibson…’s brother, Ricky. Ricky could not possibly look more jobbery in his red singlet & dad-bod (he even stands all weird, with his arms held out awkwardly at his side), while Tracy is way more ripped than I’ve ever seen him before, wearing white trunks.

Eddie Guerrero as a dorky young babyface jobber! What could be better?!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time we have a pretty varied assortment of “Wait, that happened?” matches, starting with a young rookie Eddie Guerrero being fed to NWA World Title contender Terry Funk way back in *1989*! Also I get the last Super Assassins match, as the masked Powers of Pain are fed to Lex Luger & Sting on Nitro! Then it’s the infamous era of Ahmed Johnson as the fat, washed-up “Big T” as Harlem Heat 2000 face dream match legends Disorderly Conduct! And a request- the HORRENDOUS one-off solo match of “Kizarny”, who wrestles MVP here before showing up in a battle royal and then being fired, never to darken WWE again! And also, the “Decent stars slumming it in horrible WWF gimmicks” bout as The Executioner faces Freddie Joe Floyd!

TERRY FUNK vs. EDDIE GUERRERO:
(WCW TV, Sept. 5th 1989)
* Eddie, in jobber yellow trunks, is set to be eaten alive by Funk, who is outraged that the accouncer doesn’t wait until his chaps are off before announcing him. Terry’s in those red & black long tights of his from the ’90s- Jim Ross’s commentary suggests this is right after Funk turned on Flair and piledrove him through a table. Terry actually has REALLY big arms at this point, not quite having decayed to his “middle aged and crazy” state, while Eddie’s already juicing. He’s mentione was being “The younger brother of Hector and Chavo Guerrero, and Mando Guerrero” because they were actually MORE FAMOUS than he was at this point!

Welcome back for more Dream Matches! This time, we take a look at the match that lit up the American Indies for a year or so and made Tape Traders a ton of money that was soon blown on other tapes: Sabu vs. Al Snow! One of a bunch of times they fought! Also, fans of Ice Train will revel in the fact that I just can’t get enough of his short WCW D-show matches, as he takes on MAXX!

Plus we’ll see the time the not at all petty WWE shared a match on Instagram where Britt Baker played a jobber against Nia Jax- COMPLETE COINCIDENTALLY showing it just as she was set to win the AEW Women’s Title! oh also, I’ve now become obsessed with the bizarre run Tracy Smothers had in 1996, playing “Aw Shucks” rookie Freddie Joe Floyd, wrestling two matches against Bradshaw that badly damaged BOTH guys!

NO RULES (I guess?):
SABU (w/ Damien 666) vs. AL SNOW:
(Some Indie Fancam)
* So I’ve always heard that Sabu was just THE SHIT if you were a 1994-96 Tape Trader- he was one of the most talked-about guys in the business, slowly building an indie legend through word of mouth and insane stuntshow matches. ECW hit on this and Paul E. naturally knew EXACTLY how to push the guy. And apparently a lot of those big matches of his that built the legend were against “Good Hand” worker Al Snow. They wrestled a bunch (CageMatch has 3-4 matches as far as I can tell), and this is undated on YouTube. Sabu’s in green shiny Prince of Persia pants and Al’s in plain blue trunks like a jobber goof. I dunno why Damien 666 is managing Sabu. And oh my god this mat is FILTHY. Like threadbare and with a giant black stain.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown are doing commentary for the last episode of USWA Championship Wrestling in 1995.  They are broadcasting from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Russell and Brown inform fans that Jerry Lawler won the SMW Championship in Memphis from Brad Armstrong.  They remind fans that Bob Armstrong will not be on the show because he is banned from the studio.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown are calling the action, originating from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Brown talks with Scott Bowden, who says PG-13 are not in the same league as the Rock N’ Roll Express.  He shows footage of the feud earlier in the year between the two teams to make it seem like the Express dominated it.

Lance Russell is back from vacation and he reunites with Dave Brown in the booth to call the action from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Brown interviews Randy Hales, who announces that Bob Armstrong’s court injunction to prevent the USWA from acquiring total control of SMW is over.  From this point forward Armstrong is banned from WMC-TV5 studios.  Hales also announces a lumberjack strap match between Jeff Jarrett and Armstrong, a “loser leaves town” match between referees Gene Johnson and Frank Morrell, and a USWA tag team title match where Jesse James Armstrong and Tracy Smothers will defend against Doug Gilbert and a mystery partner.  No specific date is given for these matches since there will be no card at the Mid-South Coliseum on December 18.

Dave Brown and Corey Maclin are calling today’s action from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Bob Armstrong comes out with Downtown Bruno, who is in a wheelchair and wearing a cervical collar.  Before Armstrong says anything important the show cuts to commercial.

Final reminder to vote in the Doomies.  Polls close Saturday!  https://blogofdoom.com/index.php/2021/01/04/seventh-annual-doomie-awards-poll/

Dave Brown and Corey Maclin are doing the announcing duties, returning to the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Corey Maclin is going solo today for this episode, taped from the Nashville Fairgrounds in Nashville, Tennessee.  The temporary switch out of the WMC-TV5 studio is nice because this venue is bigger and has more energy.  You can also see cigarette smoke wafting from the crowd on numerous occasions too as this was a time before indoor smoking bans.  And in a weird aesthetic, the promotion uses a white picket fence for a guardrail.

Lance Russell and Corey Maclin are in the booth for today’s show, which is a special “on the road” broadcast because of repairs being made to the WMC-TV5 studio.  The matches on this show come from the November 13 card in Memphis.

Footage of Ahmed Johnson beating Jerry Lawler for the USWA Unified World Championship in Memphis is shown.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown are in the booth, broadcasting from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown are reunited in the booth for today’s show from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Russell interviews Downtown Bruno, who complains about what Doug Gilbert and Miss Texas have done to Brandon Baxter over the last few weeks.  Bruno says that he will be taking Baxter’s place as an ally of Smoky Mountain Wrestling.  He also complains about the recent treatment of Bob Armstrong.  This brings Armstrong out and he shakes Bruno’s hand before running down the USWA.  Armstrong hypes his son Jesse James and Tracy Smothers as his biggest weapon.

The announce crew shakeups continue as today’s broadcasting team features Lance Russell, back from his Hawaii vacation, and Corey Maclin.  They are doing today’s show from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Russell interviews Bob Armstrong, who lists four conditions to end the USWA-SMW feud.  These are that the fine on his son Jesse James Armstrong should be lifted, Brian Christopher should be suspended for attacking him on last week’s show, Maclin should apologize for anti-Armstrong comments he has made in the past (and Maclin’s facial expression when this condition is read is great), and promoter Randy Hales should announce that he is a coward and leave the USWA forever.  Armstrong’s deadpan delivery during this segment made this an excellent segment.

Doug Gilbert delivers a promo vowing to win the USWA Southern Heavyweight Championship on today’s broadcast.

Dave Brown and Corey Maclin are today’s announce team and they are calling the show from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown call the action from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown call the action from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

A video package hypes Brian Christopher, who must be on the verge of returning to action after a shoulder injury.

Chip Kessler and Les Thatcher call the action from the Jellico High School tapings.  Kessler has been trying to channel Vince McMahon to kick off each program by screaming “Neexxtt” but he just ends up sounding like he is grunting on the toilet.

The regular team of Lance Russell and Dave Brown are calling the action and they are broadcasting from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown are continuing their regular commentary duties from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Chip Kessler and Les Thatcher are in the booth and they are concluding the tapings in Sevierville, Tennessee.

The closing moments of the Buddy Landel-Brad Armstrong SMW Championship match in Barbourville, Kentucky are shown.  Timekeeper Kenny Rison, referee Mark Curtis, and Tracy Smothers recap the crazy endings of Jim Cornette ringing the bell prematurely to keep Armstrong from winning, Landel using a foreign object to get a pin until Tracy Smothers got Curtis to restart it, and Armstrong pinning Landel after a side Russian leg sweep.  Cornette and Landel are incensed about Armstrong having the SMW title, and Landel calls Armstrong a thief while Cornette hilariously punches a wall and hurts himself.  Armstrong says the belt is his because possession is nine-tenths of the law.  Commissioner Bob Armstrong says the situation is a mess, so he declares the SMW Championship vacant until Landel and Armstrong meet again for the title in Knoxville.