tony atlas

Rick Rude, Ultimate Warrior & Chris Masters were all “Physique Guys”, but none of them could have ACTUALLY won Mr. Universe. Atlas… actually could have. His “Mr. USA” nickname was actually a shoot- he really won that competition (thrice!).

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time- a request, as The Incredible Hulk Hogan takes on “Mr. USA” Tony Atlas in two different matches in 1981! This is a heel Hulk Hogan and Atlas, one of the most authentically “Mr. Universe”-ready wrestlers of all time. I’ve never seen Atlas in his athletic prime, so here I’ll see if he’s any good (um… haha)!

Also up is another part of the legendary “Tape Trading For Sabu” series, as he takes on Chris Candido again in a Ladder Match! WrestleMania X saw an ass-ton of Ladder Matches in its wake and this was… one of them. Then it’s more Well Dunn goodness, as they team up with BLAKE BEVERLY to take on Tatanka & The Steiner Brothers! Yeah, early in their run, they’re set up to die by teaming with a solo tag wrestler against actually pushed acts. And finally, I throw in Papa Shango vs. The Repo Man in a rare Heel vs. Heel featured match on WWF TV!

THE INCREDIBLE HULK HOGAN (w/ Classy Freddie Blassie) vs. “MR. USA” TONY ATLAS:
(March 16th 1981)
* This is a feud from the 1981 run of Hulk Hogan in the WWF, back when he was a smirking heel under Blassie. In a separate YouTube video, Atlas gives a good, if stumbly, “humble babyface” promo where he talks about how he loves working out, but wrestling is more than big muscles and you have to know your way around the ring, then Vince badgers him into posing to show off said big muscles. He indeed has monstrous arms and a huge chest, with a pretty small (if under-toned) waist. Skips leg day, though. But in comes Hogan & Blassie- Hogan, in a much less gravelly voice than I’m used to, talks down the physique of “this brown clown right here”, then repeatedly tells the “boy” that he can’t even shine his shoes- Tony shoves him back, proclaiming “My momma didn’t raise no BOY- she raised a 6’2″ 250-lb. MAN!” and it’s on.

Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan are doing commentary, still broadcasting from Springfield, Massachusetts.  Heenan continues to pile the insults on the Big Bossman’s mother, saying that she needs a “tune up.”

Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan are calling the action for today’s episode, which was taped in Springfield, Massachusetts on August 7.  According to the historyofwwe.com, the show drew a crowd of 7,700.  McMahon is substituting for Gorilla Monsoon, who was having a toe amputated.  This is the “go home” show before SummerSlam.

Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan are today’s commentators, continuing the taping cycle in Des Moines, Iowa.

Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan are doing commentary and they are still in Huntington, West Virginia.

Evan Bourne vs. Tyson Kidd

We get clips of Bourne getting demolished by Henry in the feud that was going fine until it took a hard right into a lampost. But enough about Jimmy Uso.

Christian vs. DH Smith

The Hart Dynasty are feeling confident after their win against Christian & Swagger last week. Smith uses his bigness to smother Christian as Striker plugs WWE Classics. Surprised they haven’t badly edited The Fink yelling WWE NETWORK over any out-dated expressions like “WWE 24/7” or “upcoming Uso tag title win.”

Before we start, I want to point out Ezekiel Jackson has been in the intro since the brand split in April and he’s still not shown up.

“Sometimes there’s days you never forget! And one of those days is this Sunday with Extreme Rules!”

We’re in The City (The City Of Angels) but all I see is dead wings and tonight’s main event is a six-man tag match with all the important people so fuck knows what they’re going to do for the rest of the hour.

Judgement Day 2009: Christian vs. Jack Swagger (ECW Title)

Uh oh, we’re in the European Title Match No-One Asked for slot on the PPV but luckily Christian gets a tremendous pop that is far bigger than the brand he’s representing.

We’re five days away from Judgement Day with Christian defending his title against Jack Swagger and er that’s it so let’s jump in this pool of excitement.

It’s been two weeks since the last post due to that whole “Las Vegas for Double Or Nothing” thing followed by living out my fantasy of being completely fucked up on edibles like Hunter S. Thompson. I’ve retired from them and will only do them again if the Saudis are paying for it.

We’re in MSG and the ring is set up in a weird position so the entranceway is slightly to the right making for an empty hard cam shot. This works nicely as a metaphor for ECW on Sci-Fi right now where they kind of know what they want and only get half of it.

It’s the first ECW on Sci-Fi since the Supplement Draft and the intro has already been updated with the unwanted toys like Hurricane, Ezekiel Jackson and Kozlov. Main event is the Backlash Contract Signing as Christian won the Elimination Chase on Superstars last week.

We start off with terrible news as The Miz was drafted to Raw on Monday, thus splitting up one of the great tag teams of the era and leaving the just-unified tag team division in such a state that super-teams like Jeri-Show, D-X and Jeri-Edge had to step in.

Upon hearing the news, Miz hugged Morrison then immediately left him laying, foreshadowing both men’s WWE careers.

It’s the show after Wrestlemania and Josh Mathews joins Striker on commentary with both of them looking & sounding like they’re ready to discuss men’s rights.

Christian & Finlay vs. Mark Henry & Kane

Finlay qualified for MITB by pinning The Brian Kendrick on Smackdown, which seems a tad unfair given Christian had to win a battle royal to earn his shot.

After last week’s nothing of a show the main event tonight is…MVP’s VIP Lounge. Oh good they’re being consistent.

Teddy Long welcomes Finlay & Horny to the St. Patrick’s Day episode of ECW and they immediately lose Hornswoggle quicker than a failed piss test.