the Shark

The only Big Fat Heels I’ve never heard of- the Colossal Kongs! And HARLEY RACE was their manager! While he was managing Vader!

Welcome back to the final Dream Matches column of 2021! And true to form, I fill it with Big Fat Guy matches! This week, we’ll be taking a look at a request that netted me TWO bizarre matches- bouts featuring the Colossal Kongs! First, we see the pair of rotund near-clones as they take on two of the Four Horsemen- Arn Anderson & Paul Roma! Then we see one in a strange JTTS match against Ric Flair of all people, as Flair tries to use his “Broomstick TV Match” template on a hopeless obesitron!

Then take another look at mid-90s Nitro mishmash bouts as Lord Steven Regal takes on a young, masked Juventud Guerrera! And we see Freddie Joe Floyd for one final time, as I’ve run out of matches of his- here he teams up with Barry Horowitz as the “Elite Jobber” team up against… the Headbangers! Yes, Freddie Joe Floyd and the Headbangers interacted! How’s THAT for a wacky “Dream Match you never knew you needed”?! Then watch the strange circumstances of WCW boldly hiring away ECW’s 911 only to use him as a piece of shit jobber, taking on Ice Train on the D-show! And then it’s a glorious Fat Guy Dream Team as the One Man Gang teams up with John Tenta against the Armstrong Brothers… sadly, it’s Tenta as The Shark, but still! This would have been a mega-team in 1990!

THE COLOSSAL KONGS (Awesome Kong & King Kong, w/ Col. Rob Parker) vs. ARN ANDERSON & PAUL ROMA:
(WCW, Oct. 24th 1993)
* Shockingly, the Kongs are a pair of Big Fat Heels I’ve NEVER HEARD OF, but were apparently in WCW for a little bit. They debuted separately, but looked similar enough that they were eventually paired up, but neither ever became anything. Rob Parker is subbing for Harley Race, said to be busy with Vader at the moment. Awesome Kong is the hairier one of the two. And they’re taking on two of the Four Horsemen, which at this point features infamous failed star Paul Roma. Roma’s in long white tights and Arn’s in manly powder-blue trunks.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are calling the matches and they are live from Norfolk, Virginia.

–Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and Sting.  The crowd gives Hogan a mixed reaction as he talks about how he has not fully embraced the dark side and is going back to his babyface persona.  He sheds his black gear, which Sting tosses into a black container that explodes.  The problem is that the fire gets to be too much, so Sting has to keep going back to the container to pour water on it or keep down the smoke.  WCW technicians are eventually forced to put it out.  Savage tells Sting that he is cool with him again as Sting acts like a star-struck teenager.  Hogan says that Savage’s arm is not actually hurt and goes into a crazy rant about a “rag sheet” that said the Giant was going to win – the rag sheet in question being a copy of Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer – and how the Internet has the “real scoops.”  The Observer copy is burned as regular fans at home have no idea what Hogan is talking about.

–Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael, and Bobby Heenan are in the booth and they are live from Macon, Georgia.  The venue gives away how WCW’s decision to do Hulk Hogan-Sting was last minute.  This is also our go home episode for World War 3.

–Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and Steve McMichael are doing commentary and they are live from Jacksonville, Florida.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, the show drew 9,500 fans, with 3,500 paying for entry.

–Tonight’s show is an interactive telecast where fans can call 1-900-370-3WCW and pay 99 cents to pick a wrestler from the “red locker room” that has Ric Flair, Meng, Diamond Dallas Page, the Blue Bloods, Big Bubba Rogers, the Shark, and Scott Norton to face a wrestler from the “blue locker room” that has Sting, Johnny B. Badd, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Dave Sullivan, Alex Wright, the Nasty Boys, and Mr. J.L.  The Shark and Norton must have patched up their differences since they were fighting each other on the last Nitro.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are doing commentary and they are taped from Orlando, Florida.

–Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael, and Bobby Heenan are calling the action and they are live from Dayton, Ohio.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, 3,500 fans attended the show, with 2,500 paying for entry.

–Bischoff says that Randy Savage will not face Sergeant Craig Pittman tonight because he was hurt at Halloween Havoc and that Eddy Guerrero will be his replacement.  Savage was dealing with a legitimate detached tricep injury so the beating at Halloween Havoc was a convenient way to write him out for the time being.

–Tony Schiavone and Dusty Rhodes are calling the action and they are taped from Atlanta, Georgia.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, the matches on this show were taped on September 27, October 11, and October 25.

–Tony Schiavone and Dusty Rhodes are in the booth and they are taped from Atlanta, Georgia.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, the matches on this telecast were taped on September 27 and October 18 at Center Stage.

–WCW Prime featured one new bout, which aired on October 9.  Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes did commentary.

–Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and Steve McMichael are doing commentary and they are live from Chicago, Illinois.  All of the announcers are sporting custom Chicago Bears jerseys, with Bischoff shockingly not wearing an old McMahon jersey to send another shot across the WWF’s bow.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, 8,500 fans showed up to the Rosemont Horizon, with 4,458 paying for tickets.

–Heenan says that the Giant has been issued a restraining order and is outside of the arena, barred from coming in this evening.

–Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan handle the studio duties for today’s broadcast.  They open the show by hyping the Giant and recapping the Dungeon of Doom shaving WCW Champion Hulk Hogan’s mustache on Monday Nitro.

–As part of the Halloween Havoc Control Center, Kurasawa and Colonel Robert Parker rant about how Road Warrior Hawk is going down.  Hawk promises to do some intensive surgery on Kurasawa in Detroit.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are in the booth and they are live from Asheville, North Carolina.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are in the booth and they are taped from Orlando, Florida.

–Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael (with his dog Pepe), and Bobby Heenan are doing commentary and they are live from Miami, Florida.  Bischoff announces that Vader is AWOL because he has “not filed proper documents” so now Hulk Hogan’s team is one man down going into Fall Brawl.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are in the booth and they are concluding the August 9 tapings at Center Stage in Atlanta, Georgia.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are doing commentary and they are taped from Orlando, Florida.  They hype next week’s Fall Brawl pay-per-view.

Note:  My apologies for not having the column up yesterday.  I was in the process of moving with the new Misses in 100+ degree heat so I was too tired to get online.  But hey, WCW Worldwide was just the C or D-show, right?

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are in the booth and they are taped from Orlando, Florida.

WCW Prime for August 28 featured Cobra in action so we will recap that match before moving onto WCW Pro.

WCW Prime on August 21 featured a new bout.  Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes were on the call.

WCW Prime for August 14 featured a new feature bout, with Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes calling the action.