the Giant

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! And I have more of the very stuff that made me come up with this column- horrible, horrible bouts that embarrass the very business! That’s right- it’s 1992 Andre and the most low-rent thing that maybe ever happened in a WWF ring- Ninja Turtle cosplayers!

So yep- we start off with one of those bizarre lucha Trios matches, this one involving Andre the Giant (at his most unhealthy-looking and bedraggled) and Bam Bam Bigelow of all people, teaming up with legend Dr. Wagner Jr. against three big-time stars in Canek, Villano III and FISHMAN! Yes, FISHMAN!

Then I watch a notorious one-off appearance of the “Toxic Turtles” (of course it’s the Executioners under the masks), as two guys in low-rent TMNT Halloween costumes face off against two jobbers in a squash so bad the crowd goes from “Wait… this is dumb” to “I am personally aggrieved to be subjected to this and want you people DEAD!” in record time!

The remainder is a mix: I wanted to check out more Kurasawa, so here he is being fed to The Giant in in-1996. And then there’s Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis from a Nitro around the same time!

ANDRE THE GIANT, BAM BAM BIGELOW & DR. WAGNER JR. vs. EL CANEK, VILLANO III & FISHMAN:
(Mexico, April 24th 1992)
* Haha, YES! Another “hit random on Fire Pro” Mexico match with a fading Andre the Giant, decked out in a red singlet that looks like it was cut out of a couch. And he’s teaming up with Bam Bam of all people, as well as Dr. Wagner Jr., one of those big stars & great workers who just never went abroad as much as his peers. Poor Andre is holding himself up via Doc, and can barely hoist himself up into the ring. The opponents are all big-name lucha guys- Canek is a major superstar, Villano III is the superior to his bros IV & V, and Fishman is apparently a huge ’70s star is now one of those “old slow dudes” by the ’90s. Canek’s in black, Fishman green & Villano in red- Fishman is REALLY bulky, with a ton of muscle mass and a bit of a gut. Canek is BROAD- a real powerhouse dude. VIII is a bit top-heavy, slender at the waist and delicately built aside from his chest/shoulder area.

The Barbarian was a big, strong, legit-tough dude, but a WORLD TITLE CONTENDER? On PPV? No wonder WCW lost so much money.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have a sequel to last weeks’ Jake/Koloff match, as it’s Jake & Barbarian vs. Nikita & Ron Simmons, the WCW World Champion! Then, it’s one of the stranger “two guys you didn’t think ever met” contests, thanks to Erik Watts’ run in late ’90s WCW, where he takes on Disco Inferno on TWO separate occasions! Then it’s a giant Hoss Match as The Giant takes on Roadblock on WCW Nitro, in a match with a remarkable ending that’s stuck in my mind for 25 years! More Essa Rios content, as he & Funaki take on the Hardy Boyz back when Rios was “Papi Chulo”! Then it’s a shockingly very good Wrath match, as he & the underrated Mike Enos fight like hell on a filler WCW Thunder bout! With some commentary you really have to hear.

JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS & THE BARBARIAN (w/ Cactus Jack) vs. RON SIMMONS & NIKITA KOLOFF:
(WCW Power Hour, Oct. 17th 1992)
* By recommendations, here’s Jake & Barbarian as WCW heels vs. Ron Simmons (the WCW World Champion!) and Koloff. Jake’s in blue, Barbarian’s in black, Ron’s in green and slapping hands with the fans, and a very bored-looking Koloff is in a black singlet. Nobody seems nearly as over as they should be considering this has the World Champ and the guy he’s wrestling at Halloween Havoc in a week.

Shinjiro Ohtani: If disdain was a person.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This one features a true wild one for me, as we see two of New Japan’s top Juniors… in WCW, taking on the American Males! Koji Kanemoto & Shinjiro Ohtani vs. Bagwell & Riggs! Plus, four of the most disparate guys you can imagine end up in one match- ’80s tag legend Bobby Eaton, ’90s failed Power Plant grad Kenny Kaos, never-was failed ’90s hire Bobby Duncum, Jr., and former Beverly Brother Mike Enos have a tag match on Saturday Night! And I’m pretty sure the ending is buggered!

Then ANOTHER possibly buggered ending, as that weird Late-96, Early-97 WWF era where they’re just throwing EVERYTHING at the wall to see what sticks rears its head, as we have Mexican legends Pierroth & Cibernetico taking on All Japan top team Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon! But check that weird ending!

Also, come see Lex Luger & The Giant take on two roided Power Plant guys I’ve never heard of in “The Power Company” (here called the Power Team)! And did you know that ELIX SKIPPER got his TV start in WCW? It’s true! Come watch him get some showcase as a job guy for Billy Kidman! Plus a random mess of a match as Barry Horowitz is left trying (and failing) to wrestle a lucha-style match against Silver King!

KOJI KANEMOTO & SHINJIRO OHTANI (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. THE AMERICAN MALES (Marcus Alexander Bagwell & Scotty Riggs):
(WCW Worldwide, Dec. 2nd 1995)
* Oh YES!! Two of the best New Japan Juniors and they go to WCW and end up stuck with the Power Plant pretty boys! Now THAT’S a weirdo “WTF? This happened?” match! Ohtani in particular is THE SHIT, famous for the sheer amount of disdain he holds for every opponent. Kanemoto I’ve seen less, but he was the third Tiger Mask and I’ve seen a LOT of **** ratings thrown his way. The Males are still in the midcard at this point, and OH MY GOD they’re so ’90s. I love Buff’s bouffant hair and Riggs with his dirtbag semi-mullet. They have hideous black & white-striped singlets and jean shorts on, while Ohtani’s in his trademark plain black trunks, and Koji’s dressed like Bruce Lee with a white belt. Curiously the size difference is nowhere near as prominent as I was expecting- Bagwell isn’t any taller than Ohtani from the looks of things.

High Energy AND Max Moon! In one match! It’s the most 1992 thing in wrestling!

Here’s an extra Dream Matches column for the week! Mainly because I had an extra couple of Steiners/Fire & Ice matches to post, plus I found this other bizarre one- a rare Genius match from 1992… AND a Max Moon appearance! In the same match! These would be posted MONTHS apart if I did the usual thing, so I give a little extra this week. I also threw in a short Giant/Ice Train match from the same time.

MAX MOON & HIGH ENERGY (Owen Hart & Koko B. Ware) vs. THE GENIUS & THE BEVERLY BROTHERS (Beau & Blake)
(Dec. 7th 1992)
* Wow, now THIS is a weird one. The Genius in a rare 1992 wrestling appearance, along with the short-lived Max Moon teaming up with fellow high-fliers Owen & Koko! The Genius is ultra-pasty in his black jobber trunks. Monsoon jokes about the twelve Hart children before the match, “Stu was certainly busy, wasn’t he?”, cracking up Lord Alfred.

The height difference here is nuts. Like, Fred Ottman must always fight dudes of equal height because I completely forget sometimes that he DWARFS even men as big as Hawk.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, I found an AMAZINGLY fun Hoss Match from Japan as the Natural Disasters go up against the Legion of Doom… with their “Iron Man” theme and incredible overness in Japan! That and Earthquake’s sumo credibility make for an incredibly fun bout.

And I found a great grab-bag of weird stuff for the column today: Did you know that when the Truth Commission split up, Bull Buchanan and the other guy were paired up for a couple of weeks as a team before being sent away and repackaged? Yup- come see “Armageddon” take on The Quebecers! Also my “Best of Roadblock” series continues as he’s set up against a pissed-off, lethal Giant! More of Jimmy Del Ray’s weird run as “Jimmy Graffiti” as he takes on Eddie Guerrero during Eddie’s early babyface push! And we cap off with Al Snow and a very young, green Kane as “Unabom” up against… Matt Hardy and Joey Abs? God SMW was weird.

WWF TAG TEAM TITLES:
THE LEGION OF DOOM (Hawk & Animal) vs. THE NATURAL DISASTERS (Earthquake & Typhoon, w/ Jimmy Hart):
(SWS/WWF in Japan, 12/12/1991)
* Okay, this is a fantastic one I saw split up in two on YouTube. The Road Warriors are of course famous in Japan and here come out to their old-school theme, “Iron Man”, and HOLY SHIT is that a massive game-changer to their act. Even with the cartoon WWF red & black spikes it’s a totally different effect, as awesome as their WWF music was- this was BORN to be a wrestling theme. Earthquake is of course known and respected in Japan as a former sumo (undefeated but quit over injuries and cultural rules and such)- he’s billed “Earthquake” John Tenta here. Right away I’m astounded as the two teams square up and even Typhoon is MUCH larger than either man. Like, Hawk & Animal ain’t small but Ottman has a couple inches on either one. This is in two parts on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwGrDn1iDG0&ab_channel=ScroogeMcSuck

It’s time for more Dream Matches! Some of which are unironically good! We start off with one of the most infamous combinations of poor workers in history, and go from there.

Note: I skip YouTube links for the WWF-owned stuff, since I believe it demonetizes the blog.

EL GIGANTE vs. NAILZ:
(New Japan Pro Wrestling, 1994 G-1 Climax)
* Wearing black shorts and with a curly mullet, the 7’7″ Jorge Gonzalez was given a “Freak Show” match or two in New Japan, and here his opponent is a real shocker- NAILZ, fresh from being fired by the WWF for attacking Vince McMahon in a dispute over money (told hilariously here by Bret Hart). This is, quite literally, the worst match I can imagine putting together- Nailz was an absolutely horrendous worker whose offense consisted of choking with one hand and choking with two, and he’s up against probably the worst professionally-trained wrestler in the world. A guy as big as Nailz not even coming up to a guy’s collarbone is a pretty astounding sight, I will admit.

If you have not already, do not forget to vote for the Doomies.

–Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan handle studio duties for the last Main Event episode of 1995 to feature new matches.

–Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and Steve McMichael are in the booth and they are live from Augusta, Georgia.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, 8,100 fans attended the show, with 3,000 paying to do so.

–Madusa interrupts the announce crew, holding the WWF Women’s Championship.  She says she will always be Madusa and she dumps the WWF Women’s title in the trash can.  The promo was terrible, but this was a HUGE shock at the time since Madusa had just competed at Survivor Series weeks earlier and plans called her for to face Aja Kong at the Royal Rumble.  This incident had long-term ramifications too as Vince McMahon feared Bret Hart would do the same to the WWF title if he retained at the 1997 Survivor Series, thereby leading to the Montreal Screwjob.  Also, the WWF would not restart its women’s division until 1998.  WCW would attempt to create its own women’s division with Madusa as a centerpiece, but it never worked out.

–Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and Steve McMichael are in the booth and they are live from Phoenix, Arizona.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, the show drew 9,000 fans, 3,000 of whom paid.

–Bischoff announces that the WCW Executive Committee decided forty-eight minutes ago that Hulk Hogan, the Giant, and Ric Flair are all on probation and if they do something wrong, they could be indefinitely suspended.

–Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and Steve McMichael are calling the action and they are live from Salem, Virginia.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, the show drew a crowd of 5,000 fans, with 3,000 fans paying for entry.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are calling the matches and they are live from Norfolk, Virginia.

–Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and Sting.  The crowd gives Hogan a mixed reaction as he talks about how he has not fully embraced the dark side and is going back to his babyface persona.  He sheds his black gear, which Sting tosses into a black container that explodes.  The problem is that the fire gets to be too much, so Sting has to keep going back to the container to pour water on it or keep down the smoke.  WCW technicians are eventually forced to put it out.  Savage tells Sting that he is cool with him again as Sting acts like a star-struck teenager.  Hogan says that Savage’s arm is not actually hurt and goes into a crazy rant about a “rag sheet” that said the Giant was going to win – the rag sheet in question being a copy of Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer – and how the Internet has the “real scoops.”  The Observer copy is burned as regular fans at home have no idea what Hogan is talking about.

–Tony Schiavone and Dusty Rhodes call today’s action which, according to thehistoryofwwe.com, was taped on October 25 and November 16.

WCW Prime featured a few new bouts, with Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes calling the action.  Cruise is dressed as a Puritan woman, while Dusty has male Pilgrim garb.  A turkey mascot, also in Pilgrim costume, dances behind them throughout the show.

–Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael, and Bobby Heenan are in the booth and they are live from Macon, Georgia.  The venue gives away how WCW’s decision to do Hulk Hogan-Sting was last minute.  This is also our go home episode for World War 3.

–Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan are in the studio for today’s broadcast.  Heenan says that he is rooting for Sting on Monday Nitro because he cannot stand Hulk Hogan.  Due to Heenan’s WWF career, that is an awesome piece of character continuity.

–Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael, and Bobby Heenan are doing commentary and they are taped from Jacksonville, Florida since WCW talent went to Japan for a series of shows with New Japan Pro Wrestling.

–Gene Okerlund and Tony Schiavone are doing the studio work for this show.  They recap how the WCW title was held up on Monday Nitro.

–Okerlund and Schiavone discuss the recent difficulties of Paul Orndorff.

–Tony Schiavone and Dusty Rhodes are in the booth and they are taped from Atlanta, Georgia.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, these matches were taped on October 18 and 25.

–Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and Steve McMichael are doing commentary and they are live from Jacksonville, Florida.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, the show drew 9,500 fans, with 3,500 paying for entry.

–Tonight’s show is an interactive telecast where fans can call 1-900-370-3WCW and pay 99 cents to pick a wrestler from the “red locker room” that has Ric Flair, Meng, Diamond Dallas Page, the Blue Bloods, Big Bubba Rogers, the Shark, and Scott Norton to face a wrestler from the “blue locker room” that has Sting, Johnny B. Badd, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Dave Sullivan, Alex Wright, the Nasty Boys, and Mr. J.L.  The Shark and Norton must have patched up their differences since they were fighting each other on the last Nitro.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are in the booth and they are live from Detroit, Michigan.  Schiavone says that Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman attacked Ric Flair before the show went on the air and Flair’s ability to compete later tonight is uncertain.

–A video package recaps the Diamond Dallas Page-Johnny B. Badd feud.