Tekno Team 2000

Watch the Funk Brothers, Stan Hansen, Bruiser Brody, Jimmy Snuka AND Giant Baba all get into it!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time, I take a look at the early 1980s of All Japan, because I was curious about just what the Funk Brothers were like in their 30s (the answer: Still old!). And they’re taking on another gaijin team- the brawling mega-heel Bruiser Brody, along with “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka himself!

Also, prepare for some torture as we dive further into the career of one ERIK WATTS- two matches featuring the blandest, most forgettable tag team in WWF history, and one from his bizarre 1999 WCW comeback! That’s right- it’s time for some TEKNO TEAM 2000! Watts & Chad Fortune team up against Barry Horowitz & the Brooklyn Brawler, then the Smoking Gunns! And then watch ’90s Dudebro Heel Watts up against the legendary jam-up guy, El Dandy!

REAL WORLD TAG LEAGUE 1981- FINAL MATCH:
THE FUNK BROTHERS (Terry & Dory Jr.) vs. BRUISER BRODY & JIMMY SNUKA (w/ Stan Hansen):
(All Japan, Dec. 13th, 1981)
* Damn, so Snuka has wrestled in Japan before. And here he is teamed up with legendary psychopath Bruiser Brody against the Funks, at this point beloved heroes in All Japan. Dory merely looks to be 75 here, as opposed to his usual self, while Terry has the curly hair and looks reasonably in shape. Both Funks are in blue trunks, while Brody & Snuka are in black (Broady with furry boots) and backed up by Stan Hansen. Jimmy looks like he’s only had a dinner plate full of cocaine compared to how much he was using in the WWF, and looks weird with boots and normal wrestling gear on. I’ve literally never seen a Brody match before this, so this will be interesting.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown call today’s action from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee

Brown interviews Richard Lee, a longtime Tennessee manager to worked for Nick and George Gulas in the 1980s and then started working for Jerry Jarrett in 1985. He was best known for managing the Moondogs, who he hypes as the most violent team in the territory. On today’s show he is returning after being gone for three years and brings with him Moondog Cujo, a man he claims is going to bring more violence to the USWA.

Lance Russell and Dave Brown are reunited in the booth for today’s show from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Russell interviews Downtown Bruno, who complains about what Doug Gilbert and Miss Texas have done to Brandon Baxter over the last few weeks.  Bruno says that he will be taking Baxter’s place as an ally of Smoky Mountain Wrestling.  He also complains about the recent treatment of Bob Armstrong.  This brings Armstrong out and he shakes Bruno’s hand before running down the USWA.  Armstrong hypes his son Jesse James and Tracy Smothers as his biggest weapon.

The announce crew shakeups continue as today’s broadcasting team features Lance Russell, back from his Hawaii vacation, and Corey Maclin.  They are doing today’s show from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Russell interviews Bob Armstrong, who lists four conditions to end the USWA-SMW feud.  These are that the fine on his son Jesse James Armstrong should be lifted, Brian Christopher should be suspended for attacking him on last week’s show, Maclin should apologize for anti-Armstrong comments he has made in the past (and Maclin’s facial expression when this condition is read is great), and promoter Randy Hales should announce that he is a coward and leave the USWA forever.  Armstrong’s deadpan delivery during this segment made this an excellent segment.

Dave Brown and Corey Maclin are doing the announcing duties against today and they are broadcasting from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Brown and Maclin comment on pictures of the hospital elimination match in Memphis between Brian Christopher and Miss Texas against Jesse James Armstrong and Brandon Baxter.  They emphasize that Texas was busted open during the match.

The set of announcing musical chairs continues on this week’s telecast with Dave Brown and Corey Maclin calling the action from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Lance Russell is back in the studio this week, calling the matches with Dave Brown.  They are broadcasting from WMC-TV5 in Memphis, Tennessee.

Russell interviews the Heavenly Bodies and Brandon Baxter.  Dr. Tom Prichard says that the Bodies are not happy that PG-13 is getting a crack at the WWF Tag Team Championship this week in Memphis.

Dave Brown and Corey Maclin are doing commentary for today’s show, coming from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Brown and Maclin inform viewers that Billy Jack Haynes and Tracy Smothers are gone from the USWA after losing “loser leaves town” matches on the latest Mid-South Coliseum show.

(Based on comments, it seems like the Blog is favoring SMW in its feud with the USWA.  SMW’s TV is missing most of this inter-promotional feud because of its taping schedule, sadly)

Lance Russell and Dave Brown are in the booth and they are broadcasting from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.

Russell interviews Tracy Smothers, who runs down the USWA.  He repeats a lot of the same talking points that he used last week.

–Jim Ross and Todd Pettengill are in the booth and they are concluding this set of tapings from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

–Irwin R. Schyster and Shawn Michaels cut dueling promos against each other for tonight’s main event, with Michaels saying that he is going to do what lots of Americans want to do in slapping around the tax man.

–Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler are doing commentary and they are concluding the tapings in Danville, Pennsylvania.

–Vince McMahon hypes tonight’s Lex Luger-Yokozuna main event, recapping their old feud that began nearly two years ago.  He ignores their WrestleMania X bout but the best part about the package is that it gives the company an excuse to bring back the “I’ll Be Your Hero” song.  Yokozuna’s manager Jim Cornette and Luger cut quick promos against each other before RAW’s opening song kicks on.

–McMahon and Jerry Lawler have the commentary duties and they are still in Struthers, Ohio.  Lawler promises more training footage of how he is preparing for The King of the Ring.

–Jim Ross narrates a video package that puts over Adam Bomb and Jean-Pierre LaFitte, announcing that both men will face each other on today’s show.

–Ross and Stan Lane are doing commentary and they are kicking off a new set of tapings in Johnstown, Pennsylvania.  The tapings were done on June 7 and according to historyofwwe.com they drew 2,000 fans.

–Jim Ross recaps the events on last week’s show that led to today’s Razor Ramon & Savio Vega-Blu Brothers main event.

–Ross and Pettengill are handling commentary and are still in Springfield, Massachusetts.

–A video package plays up the ongoing Bret Hart-Jerry Lawler feud, including Bret’s challenge to Lawler on Monday Night RAW.

–Vince McMahon and Dok Hendrix are the commentary team for today’s show and they are taped from Danbury, Connecticut.