syfy

The start of a new season but sadly we’ve still got that fucking WE ARE WILD AND YOUNG theme to deal with.

The Finale where we discover everything has taken place inside of Triple H’s snow globe.

We’re in Cleveland, Ohio (Japanese crowd: “Ohioooo”) and we start with the final four: Otunga, Gabriel, Barrett & Slater for the Semi-Finals of Season 1. The announcement that next week is the Season Finale gets one of the biggest pops of the show.

I have a message. The plane carrying Michael Tarver, Skip Sheffield & Daniel Bryan was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors.

“We are wild and young” and unemployed as tonight, someone gets voted off.

Sorry for the day’s delay, I was too hungover from staying up until 6am with AEW and Lidl rum to do anything on Sunday because I’m old.

Two weeks remain until the first elimination but I think we can skip ahead because there’s nothing going on until then.

We’re at the Mohegan Sun Casino and Matt Striker introduces the rookies already in the ring, which can only mean we have such a stacked show today that we have no choice but to skip entrances.

We’re in London, England and you can tell because of all the English landmarks sprucing up the entrance.

We’re in Chicago and tonight one Rookie will be unmasked and killed in the ring.

I dipped in a Sensory Deprivation Chamber yesterday so I’m definitely ready for a bit of NXT Season 1.

Wrestlemania XXVI is five nights away so expect nothing and prepare for less.

We’re in the Staples Centre in LA and you know you’re getting something special from the venue that gave us Judgement Day 2004 and Summerslam 2010.

We’re in Seattle, WA and even though they fought backstage during last week’s show, R-Truth still raps his Rookie David Otunga to the ring because HE’S A WWE PROFESSIONAL (it’s also never mentioned again so don’t ask anymore).

“If last week was any indication then NXT is guaranteed to be the most unpredictable hour of TV every single week!”

WE ARE WIIIILD AND YOUNG AND WE HAVE JUUUUST BEGUUUN AND I already hate this show.