Silver King

I’ve a special “Dream Matches” column this week, as I did one on Sunday for horror movie-themed guys, but wanted to get back to the regular Wednesday schedule with a smaller column. And as someone brought up this infamous bit from Nitro history, I figured I’d make it the focus, as it’s as well-known for the reactions of the commentators (who laughed throughout most of it) as it is for being surprisingly good. And I’ll throw in a random other Lucha match after it, because otherwise this is less than 1000 words!

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MEXICAN HARDCORE MATCH:
LA PARKA & SILVER KING vs. CICLOPE & DAMIAN:
(WCW Nitro, July 7th 1999)
* So this is a VERY infamous match from the latter era of WCW, when the WWF was destroying them in the war. They do the usual “WCW” thing of trotting out four random guys, mostly nobodies, to fill space on their massive show, only this time it’s a Hardcore match because WWF was doing stuff like that, too. La Parka was pretty over but still a TV jobber, while the other three may as well have been Barry Horowitz- they NEVER won and were total jobber nothings, especially Ciclope. They move a bunch of plunder to the ring as Tony & Bobby on commentary laugh at the notion of a “Falls Count Anywhere MEXICAN Hardcore Match!”, repeatedly referencing the full name of the match while laughing… get used to that.

Not the most notable match involving Nash & Wrath, but good enough!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time the headliner is yet another in my “Best of Mortis” run, but features him & Wrath following up their big PPV win over the Faces of Fear against the WCW Tag Team Champions themselves, Scott Hall & Kevin Nash! Come see the Outsiders at their snarkiest and most immature while still trying to put over their opponents just a tad.

Also, remember “Can’t Miss” prospect Sean O’Haire? Well come see me check out just how much potential he really had as he takes on former partner Mark Jindrak on WCW Thunder in 2001! Then  it’s a pair of squash matches featuring “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. jobber Paul Roma, but separated by four years- in 1985 at the beginning of Savage’s run and 1989 when he’s the “Macho King”! Then finally I have one last 3-Count match, as they defend the WCW Hardcore Title (yes, all three of them) against Silver King, El Dandy and Jeremy Lopez (… wait, who?)!

WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
THE OUTSIDERS (Scott Hall & Kevin Nash, w/ Syxx) vs. WRATH & MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Nitro, Sept. 15th 1997)
* A very interesting one, as Nash is responsible for a particularly notable victory over Wrath to hamper his push in a year or so, but at this time it was more gonna be an easy win for the nWo. Nash is well into his “lol I’m just gonna make everything a big joke” face, making silly faces and doing funny dances on the way to the ring. This is the night after Fall Brawl, where Curt Hennig turned nWo and betrayed the Horsemen- the theory goes from the commentators that the Outsiders will be a little sore, but they don’t play that up at all. Wrath & Mortis beat the Faces of Fear in a surprisingly good tag match on the same show, at least showing that one of those random feudless midcard bouts on PPV actually LEAD TO SOMETHING!

Always interesting how Jericho, who looks like a normal-sized wrestler today, looks noticeably smaller than Mr. Perfect, whose WWF career was held back by his comparatively small size.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! We start off with a double-whammy, as there’s a pair of Chris Jericho vs. Curt Hennig matches from late-90s WCW! Hennig’s past his prime and Jericho wasn’t “made” yet, but see what these two can get going. Then we go to mid-90s WWF, as “The Narcissist” Lex Luger and “El Matador” Tito Santana fill TV time as Lex’s WWF career starts off! Then the Steiner Brothers go on a tear in 1998 WCW as they take on the nWo bottom-tier squad of Konnan & Vincent!

Then it’s a very “1990s WCW TV” match, as Scott Norton faces jobber Jim Powers! And finally, a “Throwaway Saturday Night Trios Match” starring Juventud Guerrera, La Parka & Silver King vs. Super Calo, Hector Garza & Lizmark Jr.! Which is interesting mainly because it has a REALLY awkward bit thanks to a mid-match injury and some improv.

CURT HENNIG (w/ Ravishing Rick Rude) vs. CHRIS JERICHO:
(WCW Nitro, Dec. 29th 1997)
* The post-Starrcade doldrums of WCW are here! Hennig faces off against Cruiserweight star Jericho. Jericho at this point was still his Generic Peppy Babyface incarnation, but was far less manic than when he came down to that Mammoth song, using the “Evenflow” ripoff and coming down with… this odd kinda random grin on his face. Like he’s being sarcastic a bit? It’s really weird and hard to read. He’s in black with yellow lightning bolts, while Hennig’s in blue.

The Battle Royal: in an era of jobber vs. jobber matches making up almost all TV wrestling, this iwas the only way to get to see a TON of big stars in one place!

It’s another Dream Matches column! This time I find a Battle Royal from 1992 with a very unexpected victor! A 40-man battle royal with an incredible SEVENTEEN jobbers getting paydays, and extended runs by guys like Kato and a beyond-done Texas Tornado! Read on!

I also find some disparate stuff- Crush vs. Damian Demento from a 1992 WWF Mania, as I find an incredible smorgasbord of horrible low-grade matches on that program! Essa Rios vs. Jeff Hardy from 2000, as the Hardyz push REALLY starts to get in gear and “Team Extreme” is ready to form! WCW midcard glory as Glacier faces Lash Leroux! Then it’s a request, as we see a very young MIKE AWESOME in late ’80s WCW, as he faces the “Z-Man” Tom Zenk! And finally, some throwaway lucha stuff as Juventud Guerrera & Super Calo face Silver King & El Dandy in a match that ends in a REAL mess of miscommunication!

BATTLE ROYAL:
(Bret Hart, The British Bulldog, Sgt. Slaughter, Rick “The Model” Martel, “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, I.R.S., The Nasty Boys, “El Matador” Tito Santana, “Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich, Virgil, High Energy, Skinner, The Beverly Brothers, The Berzerker, Kato, Jim Powers, Barry Horowitz, Jumping Jim Brunzell, Duane Gill, Joe Milano, Rick Johnson, John/Tom Star, J.K. Goodman, Chico Martinez, Bob Bradley, Bruce Mitchell, Bob Knight, Terry Davis, Joe McMullen, Al Tucker, Barry Hardy, Nick Danger, Scott Palontonio?)
(WWF Prime Time, July 6th 1992)
* Okay, so while Scott Keith HATES Battle Royals, I LOVE them. I mean, in an era where your weekly main event was like Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Koko B. Ware, seeing THIRTY GUYS in one match? That was incredible! Plus it was fun to see guys go out almost in the exact order of importance. This one’s a real mish-mash of the most “1992” acts possible, including Kato as a singles act, the Beverlies, High Energy & Skinner. I don’t recognize most of the seventeen (!) jobbers, but there’s a pudgy short guy in a red singlet who is AMAZINGLY bad-looking, and Johnson is some huge, ripped dude. Bruce & Bob look like a tag team in matching black tights & white boots. LOL some asshole fan on the right is grabbing all the babyfaces by the arm and not letting go, resulting in a bunch of dudes (Virgil, Kerry) spinning around, probably giving him an earful.

Finally- I’ve found more Berzerker matches to watch! And against VIRGIL, no less!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I’ve got some wild stuff today- Virgil vs. The Berzerker in late 1992! A heel Glacier vs. Sick Boy in 1998 WCW Nitro! Repo Man continues his undercard heel run against JTTS legend Koko B. Ware in 1993! Poor “Squire” Dave Taylor has to face rookie Chase Tatum on a D-show! Then it’s ERIK WATTS vs. Silver King in 1998 WCW! Finally, it’s a pair of Wrath vs. Al Green squashes in the last months of ’98, and an all-time dream match caps us off- The Disciple versus LIGHTNING FOOT, Jerry Flynn!

THE BERZERKER vs. VIRGIL:
(WWF Prime Time, Dec. 28th 1992)
* This is way late in the Berzerker’s run, as he has no manager (having dropped Mr. Fuji). Virgil’s in white & black striped tights, and is the company’s resident JTTS. However, he seems to get a REALLY good reaction here, with fans noticeably jumping up and cheering. The size difference here is pretty profound- John Nord DWARFS him.

When you make a deal with a nostalgia act and stick a Power Plant nobody in Gene Simmons’s gear. Then set up a deal for a PPV Main Event without knowing how it’s gonna get over. The most “Because WCW” thing ever.

Welcome back to more “Dream Matches”! Today, we take our first look at the infamous WCW run of “The Demon”, Dale Torborg wrapped up in KISS gear and made to be an official “KISS Wrestler” in a giant failure of a gimmick. Here he’s a speedbump for Jeff Jarrett during his never-ending WCW Main Eventer run. Then it’s a hilariously bad match where The Disciple cuts an impassioned promo to beg the fans to cheer for him, then goes out and flubs horribly in a match against Kenny Kaos! I find one more Super Assassins match, as Warlord & Barbarian (in masks) go out against the Nasty Boys!

One more “PG-13 in WCW” match, as they try to take the WCW Tag Team Titles from The Mamalukes! Then it’s a pair of Essa Rios vs. Funaki matches, as they fill time on all the lower-end shows with Light Heavyweight Title defenses! And finally, I end my “Los Cowboys” run by finally slotting in their trios match with Tigre Canadiense (a forgotten white guy who got unexpectedly over in lucha) against Dr. Wagner Jr. & The Headhunters!

U.S. TITLE:
JEFF JARRETT (w/ The Harris Twins) vs. THE DEMON:
(WCW Saturday Night, March 11th, 2000)
* UGHHHHHHHHHH I forgot the Harrises were in the last-ditch “nWo”. And Jarrett is saying they’re in “Slapnut County” to get crowd heat and cuts this rambling, boring promo about putting Sid’s career “on life support systems”. He’s in silver shorts, up against the KISS Demon in a US Title defense, and poor Dale Torborg has to do his giant entrance, brandishing his cape like a doofus, all so Jeff can jump him from behind.

Future puro stars pop up in the strangest places in their early years- like CIMA making Nitro & Thunder appearances!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week we have a wild assortment of weirdness, as I finally get to showcase something I’d been wanting to share- the time CIMA & Tokyo Magnum hit WCW! See, Ultimo Dragon wanted some training time for his boys in what was then called Toryumon, and so we have them acting as jobbers in all sorts of WCW programming, taking on guys in true “Wait, THAT happened?” bouts- such as here against The Public Enemy in their second WCW run!

Also the KOTR run of Chyna inspired me to check out an IC Title defense from the same era, as she takes on DX stablemate Mr. Ass! Then watch a bizarre OVW trios match, as “The Main Roster Failures Squad” (Sean O’Haire, Lance Cade &  Renee Dupree) take on The Big Boss Man (an OVW trainer at this point!), Charlie Haas and John Cena! Also an all-time dream match as Blake Beverly takes on SMASH… but in WCW when the latter was completely washed up and doing the “Hole in One” gimmick on WCW Saturday Night. TWICE they wrestled- smell the ratings! Finally, more of my dive into lucha as Silver King, 2 Cold Scorpio & El Texano team up against Dr. Wagner Jr, Scorpio Jr & Black Power.

THE PUBLIC ENEMY (Rocco Rock & Johnny Grunge) vs. SHIIMA NOBUNAGA & TOKYO MAGNUM:
(WCW Thunder 07-08-1998)
* GOD I love WCW! Where else can you see shit like Dragon Gate guys fighting TPE on the B-show? The rookie trainees already have great looks and good gear, but they’re taking on an increasingly-rotund TPE (Grunge in particular is HUGE now). Magnum’s in pink & black, Shiima’s in yellow & black, and TPE have big white jerseys on.

The before-time, when Lita was introduced to the WWF audience as ESSA RIOS’ manager!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time it’s a bunch more WCW stuff, but I throw in more Los Cowboys! We start off with an early Hardy Boyz match as they take on Eddie Guerrero & Essa Rios! Then it’s Yuji Nagata on his Western excursion as he takes on WCCW star Chris Adams, popularizer of the Superkick! A FAT MAN STAND-OFF as the One Man Gang takes on P.N. News!

Then come see Los Cowboys (Silver King & El Texano) as they take on the guys from last week- Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon! But as masked heel wrestlers in Mexico! Then it’s popular late-stage WCW act 3-Count (Shane Helms, Shannon Moore & Evan Karagias) oppose three jobbesr… including ELIX SKIPPER AND SONNY SIAKI, who yeah- were late WCW guys! Late WCW is more like Early TNA sometimes. And finally, as I have some space to fill, here’s the debut of the legendary HORSHU in WCW, as he faces poor schmuck Joey Maggs on the D-show.

EDDIE GUERRERO & ESSA RIOS (w/ Chyna & Lita) vs. THE HARDY BOYZ (Matt & Jeff Hardy):
(WWF RAW, April 17th, 2000)
* Here’s one recommended by Steve Austrian, with strangeness abounding as Lita leads a team AGAINST the Hardy Boyz, because when the former Miss Congeniality of ECW debuted (and had the mandatory surgery), she was the manager of the former Aguila. They barely even tried with Essa Rios, as he barely ever got mic time or any big wins, and quietly vanished. He’s in white tights with red, while Lita’s in a red bodysuit with cut-outs instead of her iconic gear. Eddie, meanwhile, is studying for his GED in an angle I don’t remember, and wearing a “VaChyna” t-shirt. Jeff’s got a black shirt and Matt has his best “2000s club guy” velvety blue shirt on.

Shinjiro Ohtani: If disdain was a person.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This one features a true wild one for me, as we see two of New Japan’s top Juniors… in WCW, taking on the American Males! Koji Kanemoto & Shinjiro Ohtani vs. Bagwell & Riggs! Plus, four of the most disparate guys you can imagine end up in one match- ’80s tag legend Bobby Eaton, ’90s failed Power Plant grad Kenny Kaos, never-was failed ’90s hire Bobby Duncum, Jr., and former Beverly Brother Mike Enos have a tag match on Saturday Night! And I’m pretty sure the ending is buggered!

Then ANOTHER possibly buggered ending, as that weird Late-96, Early-97 WWF era where they’re just throwing EVERYTHING at the wall to see what sticks rears its head, as we have Mexican legends Pierroth & Cibernetico taking on All Japan top team Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon! But check that weird ending!

Also, come see Lex Luger & The Giant take on two roided Power Plant guys I’ve never heard of in “The Power Company” (here called the Power Team)! And did you know that ELIX SKIPPER got his TV start in WCW? It’s true! Come watch him get some showcase as a job guy for Billy Kidman! Plus a random mess of a match as Barry Horowitz is left trying (and failing) to wrestle a lucha-style match against Silver King!

KOJI KANEMOTO & SHINJIRO OHTANI (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. THE AMERICAN MALES (Marcus Alexander Bagwell & Scotty Riggs):
(WCW Worldwide, Dec. 2nd 1995)
* Oh YES!! Two of the best New Japan Juniors and they go to WCW and end up stuck with the Power Plant pretty boys! Now THAT’S a weirdo “WTF? This happened?” match! Ohtani in particular is THE SHIT, famous for the sheer amount of disdain he holds for every opponent. Kanemoto I’ve seen less, but he was the third Tiger Mask and I’ve seen a LOT of **** ratings thrown his way. The Males are still in the midcard at this point, and OH MY GOD they’re so ’90s. I love Buff’s bouffant hair and Riggs with his dirtbag semi-mullet. They have hideous black & white-striped singlets and jean shorts on, while Ohtani’s in his trademark plain black trunks, and Koji’s dressed like Bruce Lee with a white belt. Curiously the size difference is nowhere near as prominent as I was expecting- Bagwell isn’t any taller than Ohtani from the looks of things.

Konnan! Back when he was super-built and wore all the colors!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! Today I have a pile of totally random stuff, as usual- a few requests plus the beginning of the infamous “Konnan Push” in WCW, as he takes on the US Champion One Man Gang in a totally random match. Also witness the last of the Ice Train stuff I could find, as he squashes the Gambler in 1996, then gets flattened by Goldberg four years later, this time as “M.I. Smooth”!

Next up is the long-awaited reappearance of the Deceptively-Stocky Rockers of Lucha- Los Cowboys! Silver King & El Texano team up with Villano III against the weirdo team of Yokozuna (Kokina Maximus), Miguel Perez Jr. & “The Killer”! Next it’s Disorderly Conduct, but against all-time great workers instead of the usual Saturday Night dregs, with Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio taking them on! And we end things with the death of WCW Saturday Night (it continues on as a recap show after this)- a look at WCW’s horrible hardcore division, based around BRIAN KNOBBS of all people, as he takes on Norman Smiley, Rick Fuller, Al Green as a barking dog, and… two jobbers? Really? Just match-filling nobodies? THIS is what you book as the final match in Saturday Night’s history? oh, WCW.

WCW U.S. TITLE:
THE ONE MAN GANG vs. KONAN:
(WCW The Main Event, Feb. 4th 1996)
* This is one of those completely random, out of nowhere WCW bouts that ended up being a shocker, as the One Man Gang beat Kensuke Sasaki in a match both WCW & NJPW couldn’t ignore fast enough, and now the Gang is defending against some totally random dude- a guy most American fans had never heard of who is the Mexican Champion, and OH MY GOD what in the name of god is Konan wearing? He’s got a blue mask, shiny blue cape with “KONAN” written in block letters, blue tasseled tights and a gigantic “fake muscles” novelty shirt in hot pink. This is the ugliest ring costume I’ve ever seen, and I’ve watched like 200 Kaoru Ito matches. Despite the idiotic gear, Konan (that’s the spelling at this point) actually has a really good physique at this point, not hiding it behind baggy jeans and shirts like he would shortly afterwards when he was rowdy-rowdy and bout-it bout-it.

Welcome back to another Dream Matches column! This week we have another “Wait, that happened?” bout from the mid’90s, as Shawn Michaels in the midst of his IC Title (and Diesel’s early run as a denim-clad bodyguard) push takes on Kamala! Next, it’s from that forgotten era of the Quebecers in the WWF as Pierre is used as a jobber for the intense loner rookie Edge! Then it’s the battle of WCW’s “Rick Fuller Division” with the actual Rick Fuller taking on mighty Roadblock! I mean, SOMEONE has to lose! And we end with a WCW Lucha spotfest, as Juventud Guerrera & the deceptively-stocky Silver King take on Kaz Hayashi & Blitzkrieg!

As always, these are taken from YouTube, so you can watch them regardless of whether or not you have the Network.

WWF INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:
SHAWN MICHAELS (w/ Diesel) vs. KAMALA:
(WWF RAW, June 28th 1993)
* This one was mentioned by fellow poster Moskow, and you just GOTTA review a trainwreck-looking match like this! Shawn is all in black and has his bodyguard Diesel, but Big Sexy is in all denim, looking like the most 1990s guy ever. One version online is SUPER-clipped, so watch the “two parts” version.

Ugh, it’s SINGLET Warrior- that’s always death.

It’s time for more Dream Matches! Including the weirdest “final bout of the House Show” tag match ever! The ultimate battle of WCW Saturday Night: Hole In One versus LIGHTNING FOOT! An odd and very rare Heel vs. Heel Tag Title match on RAW! And a very interesting match featuring 1992 Sean Waltman & Jerry Lynn in a bout featuring a ton of Luchadors!

As always, WWE-owned clips are non-kosher to post here, but they’re all on YouTube.

THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR & BRET “HITMAN” HART vs. PAPA SHANGO & KAMALA (w/ Dr. Harvey Whippleman & Kim Chee):
(WWF Unreleased, Oct. 13th, 1992)
* Oh man, this is weird. Ultimate Warrior (in his “Brick Wall Singlet” era, no less!), just about done with the company, is teaming with the single WWF wrestler least like him against a guy they both have an issue with- Papa Shango possibly “cursed” the Hitman and he lost the IC Title, while he made the Warrior bleed black and puke his guts out on TV in one of the most bizarre, amazing, fantastic angles of 1992… before everyone was kind of just done with that gimmick. And Kamala’s teaming with him because he needs an extra guy, I guess (I mean, voodoo has its roots in African religions, but I doubt the booking team knew that). They’re clearly going with an “Undertaker” vibe with Shango, doing close-ups of “disturbed”, frightened children, but it’s just not taking- the gimmick’s too out there. Who would have guessed that the secret to Charles Wright was to make this 6’6″, 300-lb. tattooed guy a smiling babyface instead?

Thunder
Date: March 15, 2000
Location: Patriot Center, Fairfax, Virginia
Attendance: 5,891
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

It’s the go home show for Uncensored and it can’t come soon enough. Things have picked up a bit but there’s only so much you can do with the material they’re being given. The main event scene is crowded with the double feud of Sting vs. Luger and Flair vs. Hogan, leaving Jarrett vs. Sid over the World Title at third on the card. Let’s get to it.