Scott Armstrong

The only Big Fat Heels I’ve never heard of- the Colossal Kongs! And HARLEY RACE was their manager! While he was managing Vader!

Welcome back to the final Dream Matches column of 2021! And true to form, I fill it with Big Fat Guy matches! This week, we’ll be taking a look at a request that netted me TWO bizarre matches- bouts featuring the Colossal Kongs! First, we see the pair of rotund near-clones as they take on two of the Four Horsemen- Arn Anderson & Paul Roma! Then we see one in a strange JTTS match against Ric Flair of all people, as Flair tries to use his “Broomstick TV Match” template on a hopeless obesitron!

Then take another look at mid-90s Nitro mishmash bouts as Lord Steven Regal takes on a young, masked Juventud Guerrera! And we see Freddie Joe Floyd for one final time, as I’ve run out of matches of his- here he teams up with Barry Horowitz as the “Elite Jobber” team up against… the Headbangers! Yes, Freddie Joe Floyd and the Headbangers interacted! How’s THAT for a wacky “Dream Match you never knew you needed”?! Then watch the strange circumstances of WCW boldly hiring away ECW’s 911 only to use him as a piece of shit jobber, taking on Ice Train on the D-show! And then it’s a glorious Fat Guy Dream Team as the One Man Gang teams up with John Tenta against the Armstrong Brothers… sadly, it’s Tenta as The Shark, but still! This would have been a mega-team in 1990!

THE COLOSSAL KONGS (Awesome Kong & King Kong, w/ Col. Rob Parker) vs. ARN ANDERSON & PAUL ROMA:
(WCW, Oct. 24th 1993)
* Shockingly, the Kongs are a pair of Big Fat Heels I’ve NEVER HEARD OF, but were apparently in WCW for a little bit. They debuted separately, but looked similar enough that they were eventually paired up, but neither ever became anything. Rob Parker is subbing for Harley Race, said to be busy with Vader at the moment. Awesome Kong is the hairier one of the two. And they’re taking on two of the Four Horsemen, which at this point features infamous failed star Paul Roma. Roma’s in long white tights and Arn’s in manly powder-blue trunks.

Welcome back to a slightly smaller Dream Matches column, as I wasn’t sure where to fit this legendary Disorderly Conduct/Armstrong Brothers D-show Gauntlet, but then the request I got for a JIM POWERS victory made me realize I could give them all their own column! So come see the excitement as Jim Powers and Barry Horowitz square off for six minutes so poor Monsoon & Hayes have to hype up a fucking WBF Pay-Per-View event, and then WCW’s booking committee fills time in their “D-Show ‘verse” as Mean Mike and Tough Tom manage to fight Scott & Steve Armstrong an astonishing FIVE TIMES over the course of 18 months! Which is awful, but a fascinating look at how guys can do the exact same batch of moves over and over and fashion slightly different lame matches out of them each time.

Also by request: Los Conquistadors get a rare TV win of their very own! Poor Sam Houston & Terry Taylor… but don’t worry- Taylor will spark off an angle at the end of the match that totally won’t ruin his career forever!

Jim Powers: The living definition of a *Clap* “YEAH!” Guy.

JIM POWERS vs. BARRY HOROWITZ:
(WWF TV, June 8th 1992)
* Yes, this is in fact an incredibly notable match- a JIM POWERS squash… where he’s NOT THE ONE BEING SQUASHED! He even gets goddamn theme music! He’s up against legit jobber (and humorously someone who ended up with more of a solo push than Jim did in the WWF) Barry Horowitz, here in lime green trunks. Powers is so excited to get a TV win he practically Barry Allens into the ring from the aisle, not letting any moments breathe properly.

Jim Ross and Les Thatcher are in the booth, with today’s show still part of the Lenoir tapings.

Like Super Saturday Night Fever, this card was taped from a fan in the crowd.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, the show drew 1,100 fans to Knoxville’s Civic Coliseum.

Jim Ross and Les Thatcher do commentary and they are at a new taping location in Lenoir, North Carolina.  According to prowrestlinghistory.com, the taping at the Mulberry Street Recreational Center drew 375 fans.

Today’s show features some of the matches that took place at Super Saturday Night Fever in Knoxville, Tennessee on January 28.  Les Thatcher does commentary on the matches.

There were no new bouts on WCW Prime, so we head to WCW Pro with Chris Cruise, Dusty Rhodes, and Larry Zbyszko doing commentary.  They announce that Ric Flair is the new world champion.

WCW Prime for December 18 featured a couple of original bouts, with Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes on commentary.  They are sporting Santa hats for the show.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are doing commentary and they are taped from Orlando, Florida.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are calling the matches and they are live from Norfolk, Virginia.

–Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and Sting.  The crowd gives Hogan a mixed reaction as he talks about how he has not fully embraced the dark side and is going back to his babyface persona.  He sheds his black gear, which Sting tosses into a black container that explodes.  The problem is that the fire gets to be too much, so Sting has to keep going back to the container to pour water on it or keep down the smoke.  WCW technicians are eventually forced to put it out.  Savage tells Sting that he is cool with him again as Sting acts like a star-struck teenager.  Hogan says that Savage’s arm is not actually hurt and goes into a crazy rant about a “rag sheet” that said the Giant was going to win – the rag sheet in question being a copy of Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer – and how the Internet has the “real scoops.”  The Observer copy is burned as regular fans at home have no idea what Hogan is talking about.

WCW Prime for November 13 featured a new match, with Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes doing commentary.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are doing commentary and they are taped from Orlando, Florida.

WCW Prime for October 30 featured some new matches so we will recap those before moving on to WCW Pro.  Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes called the action on Prime.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are calling the action and they are taped from Orlando, Florida.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are tasked with commentary and they are taped from Orlando, Florida.  They recap the events surrounding Hulk Hogan and the Giant at Fall Brawl.

WCW Prime for September 18 included a bevy of new matches, which will be recapped before we get to WCW Pro for September 23.  Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes did commentary for these matches.

–Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan resume their usual commentary duties and they are taped from Atlanta, Georgia.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, this taping took place on August 21.  This show is also a bit of a hidden gem because all but the last fifteen minutes of the original broadcast in the United States was pre-empted due to Atlanta Braves baseball.

WCW Prime for August 28 featured Cobra in action so we will recap that match before moving onto WCW Pro.

WCW Prime for August 14 featured a new feature bout, with Chris Cruise and Dusty Rhodes calling the action.

–WCW Prime had a new match featuring Big Bubba Rogers and Mark Starr.