saturday — page 4

BoD Saturday Afternoon Thread

27th December 2014 by Scott Keith

Just in case you’re bored and just want a place to throw out randomness for discussion.

Some college bowl games today: Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech in the Military Bowl on ESPN at 1/12c; Arizona State vs. Duke in the Sun Bowl at 2/1c on CBS; Miami (FL) vs. South Carolina in the Independence Bowl at 3:30/2:30c on ABC; Boston College vs. Penn State in the Pinstripe Bowl at 4:30/3:30c on ESPN.

Rants →

WCW Saturday Night: December 14, 1996

21st December 2014 by Scott Keith
Jabroniville writes: RIP Jimmy
“Graffiti” Del Ray. I remember this Nitro! I couldn’t place who
Graffiti was, but he didn’t last long in WCW.
Their fatal flaw in the
booking was in never giving him a chance to talk to Okerlund.
Gene: “Are you Jimmy Del
Ray?”
Jimmy: “Who wants to know? Who wants
to know?”
wannaberockstar: Watching the Horsemen in
1996-1997 is, I assume, what it was like in the last days of the Roman Empire
when they were down to a handful of territories, struggling to keep themselves
relevant. I mean Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael?
To a certain degree.
We’re a couple years away from seeing them get a shot at resurrection, only to
see it buried dead and good at Starrcade 1998. The current incarnation with the
Jeff Jarrett nonsense right through to the spring of 98 is definitely the
lowest point in the group’s history; and that’s saying a lot considering Paul
Roma.
Dr. Unlikely: Does Piper go on about
“Tootsies Bar & Grille” in this episode?
You mean where Hogan
played the BASS GUITAR when Piper was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD?
texasranger9: Its funny reading these
reviews and then watch the programming of today. If this would happen today
what would the WWE do? Like, lets just say, a wrestling ICON showed up at the
end of one of its biggest PPV/Special Events to save the company from a group
of heels lead by a blonde, 40+ year old. If that would ever happen would they
re-air that segment every show for a month? Or would they only mention it in
one segment and forget about it a week later?
To be fair, Roddy Piper
gives WCW fresh batshit crazy material to work with weekly, which they beat
into the ground until the following Nitro. Sting hasn’t even bothered sending
Maggle a mysterious package, which would be aired carte blanche, in which an
embarrassing video contains messages that prove he’s wanted a match with Triple
H since at least 1993. In fact …
53 seconds in to this,
Vader challenges Sting to play A Game. The Game? Did I just out-scoop Dave
Meltzer?
Let’s head to the Cyborg
Factory, where men who know use Valvoline.

DUSTY RHODES and TONY SCHIAVONE hype
the Starrcade card, giving equal amounts of attention to all the matches
slated. And if you believe that, I’ve got WCW stock I’d like to sell you. Piper
Piper Piper. I haven’t heard repetition like that since Shari Lewis was alive.
BILLY KIDMAN vs. DEAN MALENKO (for the WCW world
cruiserweight title)
I’m glad that WCW gave
these guys some time apart in order to keep this matchup fresh and vibrant.
I’ve really come to appreciate their work together over the last 12 days since
this one last ran on TV, and I’m ready to renew this old rivalry. Kidman earned
this non-stop slew of title matches by beating Jerry Lynn on Worldwide once. Kidman
hits a nice slingshot headscissors take over, and Malenko hits the floor to
slow him down a little. It works, and Dean takes over with a fallaway slam.
Kidman tries a sunset flip but gets punched in the head for his effort. A
crossface is applied, for some “bone marrah on bone marrah” action. Welcome to
Planet Dusty, if you need to drink go see the Debulish Woman down by the Pay
Windah. A crossbody off the top connects, but Billy rolls through for 2.
Malenko is up first, and clotheslines Kidman so hard he does a full 360. A
brainbuster is tried, but Kidman slides off the back and hits a tornado bulldog
for 2. Malenko sidesteps a dropkick, and hits the brainbuster this time for a
close 2. Kidman comes back with another bulldog attempt, but Malenko reverses
it mid-hold into a slam, and locks on the Cloverleaf for the submission at 6:55. **1/2
HIGH VOLTAGE vs. THE RENEGADE and JOE GOMEZ
High Voltage are the
underdogs here on the basis that unlike the opposition, their Nipples have
never been given their own segment on Nitro. I’ll keep this match to a high
level summary: we saw a wide array of hiptosses, and Renegade wins with a big
splash off the top at 5:25. 1/2*
As part of Gene’s
propaganda report; he’s hearing that WCW is investigating the signing of “one
of the biggest names in wrestling history”, who reeks of “tradition”. While I
assume this report has about as much legitimacy as the financial reports at Los
Pollos Hermanos, I’ll call out the WON guys to ask if there was anything here,
since both Bret and Shawn were locked up at this point. Was this just an
overhyped Mr. Perfect?
JEFF JARRETT vs. LARRY SANTO
Dear god, we haven’t seen
Larry Santo in years, and man does he look grizzled. Of course, anyone who
spent their livelihood getting worked over by Vader may have suffered the same
fate. Jarrett hits an early swinging neckbreaker, but Santo retaliates with
hiptosses. A blind charge misses, and the next thing you know, Santo’s locked
in the Figure Four and tapping out at 1:43.
Welcome back Larry. DUD
Hey, speaking of
embarrassing Sting videos…
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. REX KING
Page is chewing gum
today, while simultaneously smoking his cigar. I don’t know if the gum is
standard for every cigar, but that’s positively disgusting. Not disgusting is
his fantastic finisher however, in which he backdrops Rex into the air, and
hits the Diamond Cutter on the way down in one smooth movement, for the easy
score at 3:19. *
LEE MARSHALL gets a word with the big winner, who pantomimes the move all over
again. His enthusiasm is completely infectious; and his evolution this year has
been a joy to watch. Marshall asks about the nWo again, and Page reminds us he
doesn’t need them or anywhere, because he has the greatest finisher in the
world. He says if they keep it up, he’s gonna drop them. Page can’t wait for
his shot at the US title at Starrcade, throws in a racist joke about Eddie, and
finishes with a BANG.
ICE TRAIN (with Teddy Long) vs. LUSCIOUS LUTHER
BIGGS
I don’t mean to speculate
idly, but I think it goes without saying that Glacier is scouting this one very
carefully. A quick Train Wreck sets up a shoulderblock off the top, and Biggs
hits the floor. He acts incapacitated, but it’s a ploy, because he gets back in
and throws a punch. Ice Train doesn’t care for that, and hits a clothesline to
set up a senton. Still choosing not to finish, a standing vertical suplex sets
up a banzai drop, and FINALLY he goes for the pin at 2:27. It took Luther Biggs nearly 3 years to recover from this
loss, but when he did, he came back with a lot of Buzz. *
RON STUDD and ROAD BLOCK vs. THE FACES OF FEAR
(with Jimmy Hart)
Holy crap, now THIS is a
match up! I can’t imagine anyone coming out of this alive? Just ask Fit Finlay,
who Ron Studd killed overseas months ago. Nobody sells anything here, and it’s
glorious. Seeing Meng take the giant arms of Road Block to the face and just
giving it back, with neither guy giving an inch is amazing. Road Block hits a
big boot, and Meng’s up at 1. Both members of the Fear start with the
CLUBBERIN’! Barbarian goes for the Kick of Fear, but Road Block just slams him
and GOES UP TOP! A big splash MISSES, dear god! Kick of Fear is right there,
and we have winners at 3:25. This
was at least a 5 star matchup, and possibly 6.
KEVIN SULLIVAN won’t talk to Tony anymore, so he’s talking with LEE MARSHALL instead. Marshall promptly
stabs him in the back and airs a new Chris Benoit video.
CHRIS BENOIT and WOMAN are still
sitting around drinking their wine. Benoit brags that Woman wants to be with a
young stallion, and is finished with the old generation. Woman: “Woman gets
what Woman wants. She always has, and she always will.”
Back to the arena,
Sullivan snaps and asks Marshall if he heard a word he said to Schiavone on
Monday? He reminds Lee that the video was sent to HIMSELF and no one else. He
also knows Tony Schiavone is the producer of this show, so he doesn’t blame
Marshall, but is livid no one’s asking him if it’s ok to show this stuff.
Sullivan reminds us that he has a family, and at home he’s not the nut he
pretends to be while he’s here. He might be wrapped a little tight, but he has
nothing left in his life to lose now. He sends a message to Arn Anderson,
because he’s been arrested before but it took 12 officers to get him in the
car. With his personal life now a mess, he blames Anderson for starting this
because he’s the one who brought Benoit into the Horsemen. For every cold and
lonely night he has moving forward, he’s going to take it out on Anderson and
split his head open. He can’t tell him what he really thinks because this is on
TV, but if he ever shows another video without his permission, something’s
gonna happen.
The complete
Piper/Bischoff confrontation from Nitro is aired.
HUGH MORRUS vs. “LORD” STEVEN REGAL (for the WCW
world television title)
This is a big of a styles
clash, but I’m digging the idea. Morrus puts his arm behind his back like
Regal, and prances around the ring laughing his ass off. He quickly pays for
that, finding himself trapped in a hammerlock. Regal sweeps the legs out from
Morrus, and powers him down to the mat, but Morrus overcomes that by winning a
test of strength and getting back to his feet. Regal throws a ton of palm
thrusts, but it doesn’t stop Morrus from springboarding off the ropes and hitting
a clothesline. Regal hits the ground, looking shocked, so Morrus follows him
out of the ring. Big mistake, because Regal rolls in first, and waits to start
hitting the palm thrusts and European uppercuts upon his re-entry. Morrus
spears forward, and uses a ground and pound technique, looking seriously
pissed. Regal pokes him in the eyes, stops to plead innocence with the ref,
before moving to the corner to work Morrus over some more. Regal works a
headlock on the mat, grinding his elbow into the ears because he’s a dick. Upon
release, Morrus hits a boot to the face, and starts running over Regal with
clotheslines. Morrus heads up for No Laughing Matter, but Regal pops up and
powerbombs him from the reverse position and gets the pin to retain at 5:06. That was fantastic. Post-match,
Regal tells us to forget the nWo, the Horsemen, and the Dungeon, because he’s
all alone and kicking ass. ***
Meanwhile, over in the
world of nWo Saturday Night…
K.C. SUNSHINE
Height: 5’9”
Weight: 210 & 1/2
Reach: 15 1/3”
Fist: 15
Hometown: Flooring, IL
Pro Record: It ain’t much
Studying “Dance Art” at
Skivies Dance downtown
Because of his lack of a
track record, Sunshine isn’t worthy of a ring entrance. SYXX is our ring announcer, THE
OUTSIDERS work the commentary, and DOCTOR
X referees.
THE GIANT (with Marcus Bagwell) vs. K.C. SUNSHINE
(for the WCW United States heavyweight title)
Hall notes Giant’s
beautiful hair, with his recent change in conditioner. Sunshine throws himself
at the Giant like a tennis ball, but gets clobbered all over the ring. A Baldo
Bomb leaves Sunshine worse for wear, and Bagwell throws in a taped fist shot.
The referee, after a brief discussion with Bagwell, decides it was legal. The
Giant goes to the mat to try some shoot style wrestling, and hooks a “large
package” for 2. Nash: “KC has blonde hair and dark eyebrows, he must be dying
those eyebrows.” KC hits the floor, where Syxx chops away at the poor jobber,
and Bagwell laughs at him. Giant does the world’s laziest version of La
Magistral (you probably don’t believe me, but I swear!), before palming KC’s
head like a bowling ball to throw him around. Bagwell slides into the ring as
Giant holds KC in place, and gives him a play by play how-to instructional on
how to do a Chokeslam. This is easily the highlight of the match, as it takes
nearly a minute, with Giant talking him through each step, eventually getting
the pin.
In case you needed to see
the Roddy Piper segment from Nitro one more time, in full, we play it again.
DAVID TAYLOR vs. “HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN
Duggan’s waving his flag
around like a bloody lunatic, and nearly takes the head of poor Taylor off in
the process. Off the bell, Duggan dumps Taylor over the top, but fails to draw
a DQ because WCW makes no sense. Taylor pulls Duggan to the floor for a little
brawling, but promptly gets himself thrown into the ring post. The world’s
ugliest American cheerleader starts a USA chant, before taking a jawbreaker
across the top rope. A snapmare leads to a headlock, where Duggan’s eyes and
tongue take on a life of their own. Duggan elbows his way out of the hold, and
drops Taylor with a shoulderblock. A knee to the midsection allows Taylor to
put the headlock back on. Duggan fights out again, so Taylor pokes him in the
eyes. Duggan sells for a second, but stomps around like a Nazi on speed. Taylor
rapidly puts a stop to that, and re-applies a headlock. Duggan gets to his
feet, so Taylor rocks him with a European uppercut! I was waiting for it! Then
back to the headlock, because Taylor’s amazing. Duggan gets loose, so Taylor
snapmares him and puts the headlock on for a 5th time. I know this
must be driving most viewers at home nuts, but I’m loving every second of
Taylor’s dickery. Duggan escapes, and finally gets away long enough to punch
Taylor 10 times in the corner. Taylor takes a big step forward, and falls on
his face. However, it was a ruse, and he pops up like a torpedo, and promptly
applies his 6th headlock. Duggan fights loose, screams at the
referee to get off his back, and dives at Taylor, face first into the buckle.
Taylor heads up, so Duggan tapes his fist up, and levels him on the way down
for the pin at 6:11. Dave Taylor is
a god amongst men. **1/2
Our main event segment
features ARN ANDERSON, by himself in
the locker room. About 2 years ago, he was in Japan wrestling, and saw a young
guy named Chris Benoit, and knew immediately “that’s a Horseman”. He went to
WCW to get him hired, and Benoit’s exceeded all expectations since his arrival.
He told Benoit that anything he wanted was his, just reach out and take it.
However, there’s an unwritten rule that applies to every aspect of a man’s
life. #1 – you take care of your family. #2 – you don’t mess around in another
man’s family. Arn says with his age and wisdom, he can tell Chris that there’s
going to come a time when he’s a nobody, and no one will have any interest in
getting his autograph. And whether he walks away from the sport on his own
terms, or is rolled away in a wheelchair, the one constant will be his family.
So he closes by asking if destroying Kevin Sullivan’s life is worth losing his
soul.
Rants →

WCW Saturday Night: December 7, 1996

16th December 2014 by Scott Keith
Pneumonia’s no fun, but WCW Saturday Night is! At least sometimes. Well, occasionally. Whatever the case, it’s better than pneumonia! Off to the Cyborg Factory.
TONY SCHIAVONE and DUSTY RHODES can’t WAIT but to talk about the MATCH OF THE DECADE between Piper and Hogan, which will top the MATCH OF THE DECADE between Savage and Hogan last month. Also, Dusty is eternally confused by Sting, Woman, and Benoit. Like, together?

SGT. BUDDY LEE PARKER vs. CHRIS JERICHO
Where the hell has Parker been for like 10 months? Is Lt. James okay? Will the State Patrol re-unite, or has there been a change in management at the old USA Police Station? And is Jack Boot secretly Buddy Lee’s evil twin brother? It’s like nWo Sting, on a Worldwide level of controversy. Dusty makes a bold prediction: Jericho’s on the doorstep of stardom. There are nuggets of wisdom under those chins. Jericho hits Sweet Chin Music to send Jack Boot Parker to the floor, and follows with a plancha. Back in, a hot shot changes EVERYTHING. To the point Tony starts comparing the Sarge to Roddy Piper. I’m not kidding. A kneedrop leads to a headlock, but Jericho’s out quickly and hits a release German. Spinning heel kick is followed by the Lionsault, but Jericho stops to yell “COME ON BAYBEEE!” Missile dropkick finishes at 4:17. That match was shockingly froot. **
TONY SCHIAVONE interviews Jericho, stopping him before he hits the pay windah. That’s rude. Jericho says WCW is not going to sit down and take this nWo invasion lightly, and as soon as WCW nominates a leader, he’ll stand behind them. Ok, so Hall fired the first shots over 6 months ago, and WCW hasn’t taken the time to nominate a leader. What do you guys talk about in the locker room?
THE ARMSTRONG BROTHERS vs. THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS (with Colonel Robert Parker)
The Canadians stop everyone to sing the National Anthem, and they’re actually on point with the music. Big steps, which are lost when Tony Schavione can’t SHUT UP. These Quebecers from 1996 are completely wrong; but I guess you can’t have them demonizing Canada while waving the Quebec flag because the politics of separation might be lost on the crowd at Diznee. Make no mistake though; if they’d walked out in Canada carrying around a poster of Jacques Parizeau and Lucien Bouchard, they’d draw more heat than this Rusev/Putin thing today, I kid you not. Quebec Crash wins at 2:09. *
The crew is halted by TONY SCHIAVONE. Colonel Parker is now “Ker-nelle Par-kerre”, doing his best French impression of someone doing a French impression. Kernelle promises the whole world will be Parlez Vous Francais by the time they’re done. Done what?
BUNKHOUSE BUCK vs. RICK STEINER
Who did I upset? I’m REALLY sorry. Please don’t do this. Awww hell, nobody dies on the way to the ring, this is happening. Belly to belly overhead starts matters for Rick, while Tony reminds us about 800 times that Roddy Piper is not a part of WCW’s roster. Good to know he’s the man charged with saving WCW in that case. Meanwhile, Dusty starts speculatin’ on Sting’s gameplan. He decides it’s mysterious. Steinerline finishes at 2:24. DUD
In a segment I typically ignore in these recaps, “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND pimps his hotline. Today’s big news, an “Icon” might be “Calling It Quits” and “Going Elsewhere”. Well, if that’s true, it’s unfortunate, and we’ll all miss the Booty Man.
KEVIN SULLIVAN (with Jimmy Hart) vs. PRINCE IAUKEA
If you’ve seen one Saturday Night match with Kevin Sullivan, you’ve seen them all. Toss over the guardrail, toss into the ringsteps, toss into the ringsteps, Jimmy Hart cackle, toss into the ringsteps, double stomp in the belly welly, win at 1:41. DUD
The winners are invited to a chat with TONY SCHIAVONE, and Sullivan immediately starts in on Benoit. Tony stops him because he’s been handed another MYSTERIOUS TAPE that they’re just dying to play RIGHT NOW.
It’s a home video of WOMAN and CHRIS BENOIT. They’re sipping wine, and Woman’s giggling about the fact she’s not with her parents or in the Keys. She warned Kevin to stop hurting Benoit in Baltimore and one more shot meant it was over. And by over, she means over sista. She reminds Kevin that it’s not the 50’s, she has the right to vote and drive, and she’ll do what she wants whenever she wants. Benoit laughs that he hasn’t made any of the same mistakes Sullivan made, and it’s time he got some sense kicked into him. He brags about being the best chess player, but Benoit bishop just took Sullivan’s queen. NOT REMOTELY UNCOMFORTABLE. (I was initially going to insert a screencap here of how incredibly creepy this entire thing was in retrospect of … well, everything, but I realized there are some people who probably would prefer not to see it – so I’ve linked it here instead and you can choose.)
Back to the live arena, Sullivan’s eyes are welled up, and he bolts.
JEFF JARRETT vs. JOHN BLITZ
John Blitz is a fantastic wrestling name. In fact, I’m a big fan of the light blue lightning bolt down the side, and am completely disgusted at the ease Jarrett wipes the floor with him – including lying across the top ropes like a hammock. Tony spews his love for Jeff Jarrett, because of respect, tradition, family, 1905! Of course, Jarrett’s wrestling the entire match like a heel, but that’s just history! Speaking of history, John Blitz. 🙁 … figure four at 3:35. *1/2
RIC FLAIR and TONY SCHIAVONE hook up to promote the upcoming Nitro in Charlotte. He declares that Piper’s a man. Did he peak under the kilt to confirm? Together, they’ll walk the aisle! Different strokes.
Even though I’ve seen the commercial dozens of times, this one still slays me every time.
 
HIGH VOLTAGE vs. THE FACES OF FEAR
Now I’m amped! I even get pre-recorded comments! Concerning Hall and Nash, they grunt a lot. That’s fantastic. Dusty: “Tony I need to correct you a moment, you said the belts belong with the Faces of Fear, well that’s not true. They belong with the better team, the winners if you will. And that is not High Voltage.” That was an incredibly mean spirited burn; you’re alright Dusty Rhodes. Barbarian beats the tar out of Kenny Kaos. He desperately tags Rage, but Barbarian doesn’t care, he keeps beating up Kaos anyway. Rage tries to double team Barbarian, so he just clotheslines both of them. The price tag of that disrespectful attack is Meng – who promptly beats Rage into the mat. Barbarian comes back in to choke Rage, which draws a stern warning from the referee. Meng chops Rage in the corner, showing no rage of his own, just business. A bored spike piledriver gets 2 – only saved by a diving Kaos. That’s cool, Barbarian has a powerbomb with his name all over it. Kaos saves again. Dude, you trying to cripple your partner? Barbarian punches Kaos in the face just cuz, and drags Kaos back to the corner of Fear for more pain. Now Meng hits him with a sitdown powerbomb, which Kaos saves, so Barbarian clotheslines him in the face. Wonderful. Rage finally gets to his corner, but can’t find Kaos, so he dives off the top, right into a Kick of Fear from Meng for the win at 4:55. I cannot get enough of this stuff. ***
Over on nWo Saturday Night … we have a repeat challenger!
“PISTOL” PEZ WHATLEY
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 299 lbs.
Reach: 32”
Fist: 18”
Hometown: Chattanooga, TN
Pro Record: 99-76
Doughboy look-a-like winner
The largest small man in wrestling
“PISTOL” PEZ WHATLEY vs. MARCUS BAGWELL (for the WCW United States heavyweight title)
Pistol Pez was last seen just two weeks ago on the November 23 edition of Saturday Night. In fact, he’s introduced as the only person to ever come back for more. Bagwell is defending the US title here for god knows what reason, and is also peeling off his shirt for all the “young teeny bops” out there. Your ring announcers are the OUTSIDERS, SYXX is the ring announcer, and DOCTOR X has been given referee duties – further proof he could NOT be Nick Patrick as Patrick has been MIA for ages. Bagwell flexes, which Nash calls a “nice double bichat”. He turns around to show off his back, and Hall gushes over those lats. Whatley gets in a scoop slam, and poses – which upsets everyone involved because this is an nWo segment. Bagwell launches him into the buckles, which causes deep vertebrae trauma. A swinging neckbreaker is all she wrote at 3:10. Nash congratulates Bagwell on his 1-0 winning streak. Whatley goes over to the Outsiders to ask if he’s getting paid, and Nash vows it’s in the mail.
DAVE TAYLOR vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE
Taylor nearly chokes on the Saturday Night smoke machine, angrily waving it away as he makes his way through the door. He should have given it a European Uppercut. DDP is on a hot-streak, and I’m FAIRLY sure he’s only lost one match since May (to Guerrero at the Clash) – so it’s unfortunate that he’s been put in this unwinnable position against Taylor. The Squire wrings the arm, but Page reverses and throws some shoulder blocks. Dusty notes, for the first time amongst the announcers, that the fans are actually cheering DDP. Tony figures it’s the Diamond Cutter that’s won them over. Page hits a backdrop suplex for 2, and that’s enough for Taylor, who throws TWO European uppercuts! Then a third! Sweet mother of God, how is Page expected to win let alone LIVE? The referee starts admonishing Taylor for the uppercuts, but Taylor makes a clear demonstration that those were hands, not closed fists, repeating it slowly for the dimwitted ref. A boot to the face sets up a vertical suplex – and it looks like Taylor’s got this match in hand. A fourth European uppercut is launched like a missile, and there is no stopping this English-bred machine. But then – Taylor grabs a TV from ringside, and it EXPLODES! That allows DDP to hit the pancake, and finish with the Diamond Cutter at 6:06. **
TONY SCHIAVONE has a nagging question on his mind about Page and the nWo. Page figures he should be flattered since the nWo’s biggest current recruits are Sting and Page, but he’s not. He works better when he wants to do something, not when he’s told. What he wants is the US title.
ARN ANDERSON vs. “LORD” STEVEN REGAL (for the WCW world television title)
Regal takes issue with the smoke machine much like his compadre – but more importantly he has a big problem with a large number of the fans in the front row; so much so that he stops to lecture several of them, one at a time. It’s the little details that made Regal; hell, even today he still has that range as evidenced by his facial expressions on the NXT post-show last Thursday. Arn works an armlock, but Regal escapes and pops up with a big smirk on his face – only to have it knocked off with a short arm clothesline. He makes a face like he bit into a bad lemon. The ring announcer notes that 5 minutes have already lapsed, which is an impressive feat in only 2 minutes. Regal pokes Arn in the eye, and promptly denies it when questioned. Regal throws a European uppercut, but Arn comes back with an abdominal stretch. No leverage tonight because he’s not a heel. Regal escapes and throws some palm thrusts to Anderson’s face. Arn fires back with a huge right, and gets a close 2. Regal sweeps out the legs, and quickly locks on a crossface – with the occasional palm thrust to the ear. Yowch! Hold released, Regal throws another European uppercut, spears him, and re-applies a crossface with additional palm thrusts. That ear’s got a future as a cauliflower. Arn wiggles loose, and starts throwing wild haymakers, but one European uppercut takes him right back to the mat. The Regal Stretch is applied, but not fully because Anderson is fighting, and Arn makes the ropes. Regal pops up and stomps him repeatedly. To the floor, one minute left is announced, and that seems to wake Arn up. Back in, Anderson punts Regal in the face and goes for a quick DDT, but Regal blocks. A spinebuster puts Regal down … and time runs out at 8:01. Awesome old school brawl. ***1/2
Time is legitimately up, as Tony ushers us off the air. No Worldwide tomorrow? That’s AWFUL! So we’ll shuffle off to WCW Monday Piper, and go about our business. G’night!
Rants →

BoD Saturday Night Thread

14th December 2014 by Scott Keith

On tap for tonight:

UFC on Fox begins at 8pm EST

World Series of Fighting begins at 9pm EST on NBC

Boxing on HBO has a main event of Timothy Bradley Jr. vs. Diego Chaves that starts at 10pm EST

Showtime Boxing has Amir Khan vs. Devon Alexander and that card begins at 9pm EST

There are multiple games in the NHL, NBA, and College Basketball tonight as well

Saturday Night Live is all new tonight with host Martin Freeman and musical guest Charli XCX

And the Eric Bischoff Shoot Interview won the poll with 48% of the vote and the Disc One recap will be posted on Thursday, with Disc Two on Friday.

Rants →

BoD Saturday Night Thread

7th December 2014 by Scott Keith

Tons of stuff going on tongiht. UFC 181, College Football Conference Champinship games, NBA, NHL, and College Basketball games too. SNL is new with James Franco as the host and Nicki Minaj the musical guest.

Chris Kanyon won the shoot poll with 42% of the poll and that will be reviewed Thursday.

Rants →

WCW Saturday Night: November 30, 1996

6th December 2014 by Scott Keith
What is it that attracts
us to professional wrestling?
I was left to wonder
that, when I was questioned by a work colleague. Here I am, a fully grown 32
year old man, a married home owner, living the middle class dream as a quality
assurance manager by day, and WCW quality performance analyst by night.
They couldn’t understand
how on earth I still allow myself to watch something as low brow as wrestling;
something that catered to the lowest common denominator. So often in the past,
I’ve found this position so difficult to defend, especially with the modern day
product that is so carefully structured and homogenized to deliver the exact
same meal, week after week. That same, unfulfilling, gut rotting meal.
Still, I didn’t hesitate
this time. It’s an escape. I don’t watch a lot of movies, but I watch my fair
share of old school NWA and WCW. It’s something to make for easy background
noise when I just need to take a load off. It’s nostalgic; like the current run
of Ninja Turtles or Jurassic Park remakes. It’s a creative escape. I love to
write, but I don’t like writing about things that don’t interest me. Even the
worst WCW shows are far more entertaining than anything else I could come up
with on my own. It allows me to be observant, to catch those little moments of
sheer ridiculousness that nobody else does, and share it with you. I have a
library of over 4000 shows sitting on a hard drive that I can access on my PS3
at any time. I have a WWE Network subscription. It’s not for everyone, but it’s
for me. I imagine, it always will be.
Well, until the Faces of
Fear are no more. Then I turn it off FOREVER.
LIVE (but TAPED!) from
the Cyborg Factory on the Mothaship of TBS, home of the Pay Windah, masters of
Filibusterin’, starring the Debulush Woman, and that Jethebel Elizabeth, where
Clubberin’ and Plundah are all the rage, it’s WCW Saturday Night! TONY SCHIAVONE and some forgettable
well-spoken guy host.

LA PARKA vs. CHRIS JERICHO
Excellent start, WCW.
Unless of course, they’re only given 2:21. Then I might be forced to deliver
the Canadian rage all over again. Jericho might be an unbearable wiener, but
the boy can wrestle. La Parka flies at Jericho off the bell, and misses a dive,
hitting the buckle. He picks himself up, and flattens Chris. Jericho comes back
with a dropkick, ducks a spin kick, and hits one of his own. Parka bounces back
with a springboard headscissors, followed by a springboard karate kick, and
scores a 2. He seems confused by his lack of victory (for all the facial
displays he is able to provide), and powerbombs Jericho for 2. He goes for a
second one, but Jericho rolls through and delivers a German suplex, holding on
to the bridge for 2. A back elbow levels La Parka, but he shakes them bones and
powerslams Chris for 2. Jericho bounces up, applies a crucifix, and scores the
win at 3:23. That’s disappointing, I
was sure La Parka was getting the rocket push right up to Hogan. **
In the locker room, “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND feels confident
standing next to LEX LUGER. Really?
I feel like Lex Luger would make me feel quite unconfident in comparison, but
good on you for being true to yourself, Gene. Luger vows to have his way with
every member of the nWo. Errrr, ok, that’s cool, just not on camera if you
don’t mind.
After a break, Gene is
joined by JIMMY HART and THE FACES OF FEAR while Lex heads off,
presumably to shower up and start making bedroom eyes at Vincent or something.
Which he might even appreciate, at least someone would be paying him some
attention. Meanwhile, Hart lobbies for a title shot, and Meng is asked how he
feels about that. Thankfully, I speak a little Jungle Gibberish. “Aren’t you the guy who Makes the Donuts?” Which is actually a great observation from
Meng, and we’ll need to investigate. Barbarian just sticks out his tongue, and
is far too cool for this stuff.
“LORD” STEVEN REGAL vs. BOBBY EATON (for the WCW
world television title)
I don’t mean to disparage
the good name of the former Earl, but Regal’s coming off a hard fought victory
against the legendary Tony Pena, so he might want to just give up now. Eaton
powers Regal back to the corner, and gets a thumb to the eye for his effort.
Regal starts chain wrestling, which rarely goes well this early for his
Lordship. A shot to the jaw has Regal showing a range of disgust, anger, and
pain all in one facial expression. I would pay $1000 to watch him perform in a
Murder Mystery. A backdrop sends the Lord flying, and Eaton’s on him with a
vertical suplex, but Regal packages him on the way down and scores the win at 2:18. I don’t know how I’ll be able to
express to the Faces of Fear that I’ve developed some strong feelings for Regal
this year, but hopefully, they’ll understand. *
SONOKO KATO vs. KAORU
Tony tells us that Kato
is 17-years of age, which is of course a big
fat lie. Why do that? She’s 20,
that’s plenty impressive. Kaoru is booed, not because she does anything
particularly heelish, or is unattractive, but because that’s what the Applause
sign is telling them to do. If you thought the WWE manipulated their audience,
you ain’t seen the Disney tapings. Kato hits a bulldog, and prances around
congratulating herself. A second bulldog lands a 2 count, which causes her to
celebrate again. I’m not sure I get it. Kaoru fires back with a sunset flip out
of the corner, and nearly scores the pin. Kaoru leaps and hits Kato with a box
to the face, causing the largely male audience to boo. Riiiight. Kato kicks
Kaoru in the back, and drops a leg for 2. Dusty notes that neither girl has
much body fat and are obviously top contenders, but if titles were won on low
body fat, Dusty would have spent his career losing to lower tier workers than
Scott and Steve Armstrong. Kato misses a top rope guillotine, and Kaoru nails a
brainbuster. Top rope springboard moonsault finishes matters easily at 2:37. I’m gonna go out on a limb and
say Gene doesn’t interview either of these ladies. **
KONAN (with Jimmy Hart) vs. EDDIE GUERRERO (for
the Mexican heavyweight vanity title)
Good to see the return of
the useless Mexican title – you keep living the dream Konan. This is a return
match from Monday that I certainly wasn’t clamouring for, but perhaps Mexico
was dying to see their Hulk Hogan get revenge on that evil Guerrero. The pair
trade chinlocks. Snore. Konan pokes Eddie in the eye, which leads to more
exciting moves, like the arm wringer. Eddie connects with a headscissors, but
Konan fires back with the tumbleweed clothesline. A top rope dropkick misses,
so Eddie heads up to finish. Jimmy jumps on the apron to block the Frog Splash,
but Eddie fights him off and steals the megaphone. Konan rushes over, and takes
a megaphone shot to the head to cause a DQ at 3:33. Froggie Splash hits anyway, and that’s too much for THE FACES OF FEAR to watch, who run in
and start the CLUBBERIN’! The viciousness! The violence! The power! Eddie might
never walk again! 1/2*
Next up, a treat for
anyone watching this prior to June of 2007; video footage of last weekend’s
house show in Baltimore between Benoit and Sullivan. From the little we’re
given, it appears to have taken the template of their Great American Bash brawl
(as all subsequent matches would), but with a greater level of violence. In the
bathroom, Benoit is given a Kick of Fear from Meng AGAINST THE WALL! Holy crap!
The beatdown draws Woman in to defend her man, including jumping on Sullivan’s
back and trying to claw his eyes out.
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND stands with KEVIN
SULLIVAN and JIMMY HART to gets
their comments on what we just saw. Sullivan says he’s made a lot of mistakes
in his life, and while he has no regrets trying to end Benoit’s life, he made
the same mistake Chris is making now. He tells Benoit that he is just a
stepping stone, and he isn’t “the last one”. He vows to put Chris through hell
for ruining his life and causing him mental anguish these last two months. Gene
looks Sullivan square in the eye and tells him, with no disrespect intended,
“you’ve never been wound very tightly”. Gene speaks for ALL of us at home in
asking “guys, am I missing something here?” Sullivan glares at him and says if
anyone knows what he’s talking about, Gene is the guy. If I hadn’t sat through
Vince Russo, I’d call this one of the most confusing and stupidly incestuous
angles of all time. Sadly though, it only ranks about a 1.2 on a WCW2000 scale.
BUNKHOUSE BUCK and MIKE ENOS vs. HARLEM HEAT (with
Sista Sherri)
I abhor short term memory
loss, and it was only just a month ago when we tried out the combination of
Buck and Enos. It went REALLY poorly, largely due to Buck’s continued loyalty to the
Colonel. Nothing has changed, as far as I know, other than the Colonel turning
into a Clue Suspect. On the other hand, I appreciate that they’re trying to freshen up
the never-ending Rough & Ready/Harlem Heat rivalry. In fact, R&R won
the last match by DQ, bringing their record to a brag-worthy 1-7 this year. In
watching Buck on the apron, I realize that we’re sorely due to see him come
back in the WWE. No, not as Jack Swagger’s father again, but as Luke Harper’s.
They’re both equally disgusting, and you wouldn’t even need to come up with any
more back story for Harper, all of his behavior would just suddenly make sense.
Booker jams a thumb in the eye of old Buck, while Tony suggests this team name
themselves Rough & Rugged. I like it, let’s go with that. Stevie winds up
getting double teamed for awhile, but the heels can’t put him away. A sidewalk
slam brings in Booker T, who quickly hits the flying jalapeno for 2. Everyone
starts to brawl, and Buck hits Stevie with his finisher – the cowboy boot to
the face. Sherri manages to trip him up before going for the pin, allowing
Booker time to hit the Harlem sidekick and score the win at 4:17. * Don’t give up, Rough &
Rugged. 1 match is a small sample size, you’ll need at least 7 more to ensure
you’re truly outclassed.
Over on nWo Saturday night,
we appear to have found new contenders in the fourth round of the tag-team
tournament.
TOMMY GRECO
Height: not tall enough
Weight: 140 lbs.
Reach: 32”
Fist: 14”
Hometown: Athens, GA
Pro record: 0-1
Played a 3 Musketeer
Lillipution Champion
THE BACK STABBER
Height: 6’4”
Weight: 280 lbs.
Reach: 37”
Fist: 15”
Hometown: Back Alley, NY
Pro record: 20-20
Uses the Knife Edge
He’s Razor Sharp
Tonight’s ring announcer
is SYXX, who has been lazy about
continuing his cruiserweight tournament. DOCTOR
X is your referee, as always.
TOMMY GRECO and THE BACKSTABBER vs. THE OUTSIDERS
(for the WCW United States heavyweight title)
No, that’s not a typo.
Nash is in fact defending the US title, which is on loan from the Giant, as
well as providing play by play. Hall chops away, AKA a “gunshot!” Backstabber
gets a tag in, and Hall hits him right away with the Japanese clothesline. Hall
takes over commentary as Nash comes in. Nash hits the “squisher”, and
Backstabber rolls out. Greco comes in without a tag, but nobody seems to care
as he takes a double arm chokeslam from “9 feet in the air!” Hall tags in, and
Nash just stays put to do commentary. “Sometimes, I get so close to the action
it feels like I’m in the ring.” The fallaway slam connects, which affects the
colon if Nash is to be believed. Hall rolls in the Backstabber, as Nash
comfortably just sits on the top turnbuckle. THE GIANT interferes with a chokeslam, allowing Nash and Hall to
score a dual pinfall, with Nash calling it.
These were cute the first
couple of times they ran them, but they’re running out of ideas, and as a
result, running this whole shtick into the ground. I could do without any more
nWo Saturday Night.
JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. CHRIS BENOIT
It’s been nice knowing
you, Juvi. Against all odds, Guerrera takes the early advantage, and chops down
Benoit. Chris misses a chop, but Juvi blows a sunset flip and lands on Benoit’s
head for 2. An Oklahoma roll gets 2. Juvi calls for a rana, but off the
springboard Benoit catches and powerbombs him. Holding the legs, he catapults
Juvi into the buckle, and follows with a backdrop suplex. To the corner, and we
chop. Scoop slam sets up the Liontamer, which Benoit applies the real way, and
Juvi’s twisted in a seriously unnatural position. Still, he won’t tap, so
Benoit releases and beats him down. A vicious clothesline sends Benoit up top –
thumb to the throat – and the swandive connects. Crossface finishes at 3:16. ** Tony thinks WCW needs to start
considering Chris Benoit to lead the charge against the nWo.
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND grabs Benoit for a quick word. Gene’s
disappointed Woman isn’t joining them. Benoit says that Woman’s become a lot
more than just his manager, and is currently making travel plans. Gene doesn’t
much care for his lack of candor, and asks why everyone’s trying to swerve him
all the time? Benoit fails to answer, and turns his attention to Sullivan. He
says that the whole Dungeon of Doom gave him their best, and it STILL wasn’t
enough to get rid of him. Gene asks why the Horsemen didn’t save Chris on
Saturday. Benoit says it wasn’t Horsemen business, it’s all about himself and
Sullivan.
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. SCOTT NORTON
Tony finally figures out
what the deal with Page is; that he’d probably love to join the nWo, but his
ego won’t allow him to because he insists on being the coolest kid in school,
and they didn’t pick him first. Of course, Page has said this himself at least
a half dozen times, but Dusty is genuinely amazed at Tony’s ability to piece
the puzzle together and believes he’s right. Norton uses his power to overtake
Page in the early going. DDP winds up staggering around after taking an
avalanche, and a clothesline gets 2. Page takes a powder, and on his way back
in he gives Norton a quick snapmare over the top rope. Norton is choked in the
ropes, and Page liberally uses his 5 counts. Swinging neckbreaker gets 2, but
Norton kicks out with some authority, launching Page several feet. A
shoulderblock knocks Page off his ass, but on the follow up charge, Page uses
the momentum to fall backwards into a hot shot. A pancake connects, and Page
calls for the Diamond Cutter. Page tries, but Norton just throws him off
mid-move, and sends Page to the floor. DDP reaches into his tights, and on his
way back in, Norton picks him up. Page punches him in the face with the object
repeatedly, falls on top, and gets the win at 4:10. Still completely scummy, that’s my Page. *1/2
Page stops in for a quick
word with “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND on
his way to the pay windah. I am loving the fact we are to believe this is
happening seconds after the match, despite the fact Page is now wearing a
completely different colored set of tights. Page says he’s tired of answering
the exact same questions on every bloody show, he just wants to go back to
where he was before all this political crap started. His focus is on the US
title tournament, and he plans on walking off with the belt. Gene pressed, but
Page tells him to stop asking him about Hall and Nash because he doesn’t care
what they’re doing. The end.
Despite there being about
15 minutes left in the show, that was our main event, because we once again
replay the entire Piper contract signing from World War 3 as the credits roll.
If this is anything like last month, we can be sure we’re going to see this at
least another half dozen times between now and Starrcade.
Rants →

WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event January 3rd, 1987

1st December 2014 by Scott Keith

January 3, 1987


From the Civic Center in Hartford, CT.

Your hosts are Jesse Ventura and Vince McMahon

Matches tonight include Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan in a Steel Cage Match for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship, Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper, George Steele vs. Randy Savage for the WWF Intercontinental Championship, and King Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog.

WWF World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match
“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff w/ Bobby Heenan vs. Hulk Hogan (Championship)


Before the match Vince flips out because Danny Davis is the referee. Orndorff attacks Hogan before the bell then drops a few elbows. Orndorff tries to escape but Hogan grabs his leg as Vince tells us that Davis shouldn’t even be the referee here as Joey Marella is here and listed as the official for the match. Orndorff almost climbs out of the cage but Hogan grabs him by the hair as Jesse jokes how Hogan would not be the champion right now if Orndorff was bald. Hogan stays in control then tries to climb out but Orndorff yanks him down then hammers away. The crowd chants for Hogan as Orndorff is stomping away. Orndorff misses a pair of elbow drops then Hogan hulks right up and fights back. Orndorff prevents Hogan from going through the door then is able to go back on offense. Then in a goofy-looking spot, both guys slam each other’s head off of the cage. They slowly get up and climb up opposite sides of the cage and both jump down as Hogan is declared the winner by Marella but Davis says that Orndorff was the winner. Davis then knocks Marella down so Hogan takes him out then Finkel lets us know that it was a “tie” as they both have to go back in and finish the match. Orndorff roughs up Hogan then rolls him back inside as Davis is carried to the back. Orndorff fires away but Hogan hulks up then chops away. Hogan rams Orndorff into the cage then hits a backbreaker before the leg drop. Heenan runs into the cage and distracts Hogan enough to let Orndorff get up but Hogan stops that then whips Heenan into the cage and climbs out of the cage before Orndorff can get through the door for the win (10:42) **3/4. Hogan gets back into the cage after the match and goes after Heenan as Jesse rags on Hogan. They then show the replay of the “tie” as Jesse tries to explain that Orndorff won because Hogan’s legs were bent when they hit the floor.

Thoughts: Good match. These two had solid chemistry in the ring and the way this ended could have been used to prolong the feud (Heenan goes to Tunney and gets a rematch or something like that). However, this ended up being the end of the Hogan/Orndorff feud as he would wrestle Kamala at house shows for a bit then get a new feud very shortly after this.






WWF Intercontinental Title Match
George “The Animal” Steele vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (Champion) w/ Elizabeth


Before the match we get a promo from Savage as he yells at Elizabeth to shut up before he “slaps her and pushes her against the wall.” Is that line edited on the Network? Steele also promises us a surprise during the match. This match is the result of Steele’s infatuation with Elizabeth, something that has been going on for about a year at this point. Before the match Steele gives Elizabeth his action figure as Savage flips out and takes it from her. Steele then attacks Savage and slams him down but goes to the corner and appears to wave someone on but Savage yanks him down. Savage then goes to climb up top but Ricky Steamboat’s music hits as he comes out to the ring. Savage is beside himself then gets tossed to the floor. Steele then goes outside and picks up Elizabeth and carries her up the aisle. Savage sees this and is out of his mind but Steamboat stands in his way and he stays in the ring. Steamboat tries to enter the ring but a few officials try to stop him as he breaks free. Steamboat gets escorted to the back by the police as Steele comes back without Elizabeth and beats on Savage. Steele bites open the turnbuckle and throws it in Savage’s face. Savage comes back and beats on Steele in the corner but Steele returns the favor then starts to bite Savage. Steele gets kicked a few times but is able to bite Savage’s arm. Steele then pulls a foreign object out of his trunks and uses it to knock Savage out of the ring. Steele then pushes down the ref after he tried to search him but Savage grabs the timekeeper’s bell and uses it to whack Steele in the back of the head then covers for the win (8:30) *1/2. Savage tries to attack Steele some more but Steamboat runs down and chases Savage away.

Thoughts: They used a lot of smoke and mirrors here and it worked about as well as you could have hoped for anyway. Steamboat’s return was huge and a great surprise. They also managed to keep two storylines going in this match.






King Harley Race w/ Bobby Heenan vs. Junkyard Dog


Again, Vince flips out because Davis is the referee for this match. Race punches JYD down then drops an elbow as Vince says it happened because Davis distracted JYD. Race hits a high knee smash then gets two with a knee drop but JYD gets up and fights back. Race goes shoulder first into the post but comes back with an eye rake. He hits a belly-to-belly suplex then tries a headbutt but JYD no-sells that then hits a few of his own then takes Race out of the ring. JYD then grabs Race’s robe and crown and puts it on as the fans applaud. Vince yells at Davis for not counting out Race as Heenan tries to attack JYD but that fails. JYD knocks Heenan down, who comically oversells the punch, then picks him up again but Race hits him from behind with a top rope elbow smash. Race hits a pair of elbow drops then the bell rings as JYD won by disqualification (6:00) 1/2*. After the match, Race and Heenan attack JYD but that fails as JYD chases them away. Davis tries to stop JYD but gets knocked down with a headbutt.

Thoughts: Very slow and dull match as Race’s methodical style was passe and JYD was abysmal in the ring at this point. Their feud, which started over JYD saying he would refuse to bow down to Race, would continue.






We see a clip of Heenan and Orndorff backstage. Heenan tells Orndorff that he saw the video replay and saw that he hit the floor before Hogan and will prove that he is the champion and go to Jack Tunney to straighten it out. Heenan kept calling Orndorff “champ.” We are shown the replay again as Jesse tells us that the tape is doctored.

“Adorable” Adrian Adonis w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Roddy Piper


Piper tosses his kilt at Adonis’s face then backs him into the corner. Piper takes him down with a knee lift as the kilt remains over Adonis’ face. Adonis bumps like a maniac for Piper then comes back with an eye rake. He then rakes Piper’s back but gets knocked down. Piper slams Adonis’ face off of the mat then Adonis comes back with the Good Night Irene but Piper takes them both through the ropes and they brawl. Adonis gets free and squirts his fragrance in the eyes of Piper then rolls inside and wins by count out as Piper could not see where he was (3:35) *. After the match Piper flips out as a few referees eventually calm him down to wipe his face.

Thoughts: Decent for while it lasted but it was just a short match to keep their feud going. Adonis was really, really big here. He could at least go in the ring though.






Okerlund is backstage with Hogan in the locker room. Hogan says that he won the match and will move on to other challengers. Okay then.

Jimmy Jack Funk vs. Blackjack Mulligan


This is billed as the “Battle of Texas.” Vince lets us know that Elizabeth is unharmed. Funk makes the referee order Mulligan to take off his spurs before the match. Funk lands a few shots but gets whipped into the corner then tossed to the floor as we get an awful insert promo from Mulligan as he is interviewed by Okerlund. He just rambled on and on using every single lame cliche about Texas. Mulligan beats on Funk in the corner before putting him away with a jumping back elbow smash (2:31) 1/4*. After the match, Mulligan tries to hang Funk with his rope but he was able to escape.

Thoughts: Just filler, really. I’ll never get why they tried to push Mulligan here. All of this build was wasted.

Final Thoughts: As a stand alone show, it wasnt much, but in the grand scheme of things this advanced a lot of storylines and the first ever steel cage match on Network TV was really cool to see,especially since it was a title match, so this was a good show overall that looks even better in hindsight as it laid the foundation for three WrestleMania matches. The WWF had a really good product at this time that was fun to watch.

Rants →

WCW Saturday Night: November 23, 1996

28th November 2014 by Scott Keith
Sometimes it’s hard to embrace change, and other times it’s just so good it’s delicious. I’m still not quite sure what to make of Monday night. On one hand, you can’t question his motives – his track record has earned himself the benefit of the doubt. But was it the right move in the long run? I don’t know. I think at the end of the day, it probably wound up hurting a lot more than it helped at all, and even though likely won the Ugly Christmas Sweater contest at Turner Studios, I truly believe Ric Flair cost himself at least a dozen riders for Space Mountain.
TONY SCHIAVONE has stopped his protest and rejoined the cast of WCW. DUSTY RHODES is dressed with him, all in black, to mourn the death of Ric Flair’s style. Also on the agenda, discussion of Eric Bischoff’s new role as the leader of the nWo.

GALAXY and CICLOPE vs. THE FACES OF FEAR (with Jimmy Hart)
Biscuit! writes: When you see them comin’ better run for cover
Girls you don’t need a weekend lover…
MMMMM!!!! The Faces of Fear!
Biscuit! – congratulations, you are this week’s winner of the inexplicably awesome WCW comment of the day. Here is your prize:
When we tuned into Nitro on Monday, Galaxy and Ciclope were making their debut as a tag-team, and had been effectively wiped out by the Outsiders and their baseball bats. WCW, in their infinite wisdom, decided “you know what? Let’s give them a match with the Faces of Fear. That’ll make everything better.” Ciclope manages a missile dropkick on Meng from behind, and the Luchadores use a double team attack. It’s mildly effective, until Meng beats them both up and headbutts them to death. Barbarian comes in and gets clubbered, but that only pisses him off, and it’s boots for everyone! A backbreaker on Galaxy gives him a seizure or something, and Meng delivers a superkick for good measure. An elbowdrop sets up Meng picking Galaxy up at 2, because he ain’t done, no sir. Barbarian gives him a military press slam, but refuses to get the pin. Double headbutts bring Meng back into the fray, but Galaxy slips away and tags in Ciclope. He chops Meng with everything he has, a springboard crossbody … barely gets 1. Meng backdrops him into the awaiting arms of Barbarian, who hits the powerbomb for the pin at 4:22. Galaxy tries to get in a free shot, so Meng gives him the Kick of Fear, while looking completely unconcerned. **
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND grabs the winners backstage, and Meng is actually smiling! Gene thinks that Hart paid someone off to get a tag-team title match, but Hart swears it was common sense from WCW. Yeah, they’ve never displayed that before, not buying that.
KEVIN SULLIVAN vs. SCOTTY RIGGS (with Marcus Bagwell)
Riggs declares it a great night for a fight! I’m betting he’s right, but what he DOESN’T know is that it’s probably coming with Bagwell. Sullivan kicks Riggs in the jaw, and runs him over with a clothesline. Riggs fires back with a pair of dropkicks, and hits a flying forearm shot for 2. Sullivan tosses Riggs through the ropes, and kicks Bagwell in the back of the head. That draws Bagwell to the apron as Riggs gets back in, but Riggs winds up running into him off an Irish whip, and Sullivan gets the pin off a small package at 1:53. Riggs has had just about enough of Bagwell costing him matches, but Marcus pleads his innocence. Tony suggests they take a break. I disagree, ask Ross Gellar how that turned out. DUD
Meanwhile, “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND has tracked down CHRIS BENOIT and WOMAN. Later tonight, he faces Kevin Sullivan in Baltimore, and if things go according to Sullivan’s plan, he won’t even make it to World War 3. Benoit says Sullivan isn’t even a fraction of the man he used to be, because while he’s been at home sipping margaritas in his $250,000 luxury pad (Christ how times have changed!), he’s been on the road, in hotel rooms with Woman, perfecting his “craft” if you know what he means. While he’s been on Lear jets, politicking and pushing the pencil, he’s been laying people out. This whole angle is ridiculous. While they’re trying to be cutesy and “subtle” without specifically saying “hey Sullivan, I’m laying the pipe to your wife”, because Woman has never been ACKNOWLEDGED as Sullivan’s wife, you’re left with a feud between one of the most intense wrestlers on the planet, and a crazy old man, who sit around and speak in tongues to 98% of the 1996 audience. But hey, at least Sullivan’s Working The Boys! Ha ha!
SERGEANT CRAIG PITTMAN (with Teddy Long) vs. CHRIS JERICHO
This is a warm up match for Jericho’s upcoming “one hand behind his back” match with Nick Patrick, except he totally wrestles here with two hands so either he lacks self-confidence, or Tony’s a complete liar. The two dance to the corner, which would have been impossible with just one arm. Not that one-armed people can’t dance, but certainly not in that violence scrappy way, without getting hurt. Jericho drops a knee across the shoulder of Pittman, which is certainly do-able with one arm, but the test of strength that follows likely would not have gone well at all. Not that it goes well here, but Jericho eventually wriggles loose. Jericho is tossed to the floor, and Pittman uses a CLENCHED FIST! Tony is beside himself with anger. Then he throws Jericho into the ring post, and Teddy Long tells him NO, that’s WRONG! Pittman goes for Code Red, but Teddy interjects reminding him Jericho needs that arm, playa. As they argue, Jericho perches himself up top, hits the missile dropkick, and scores the pin at 4:07. * Long rushes over to raise the hand of Jericho, as Pittman scowls. Can’t we all just get along?
Jericho is stopped on his way to the Pay Windah by “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND. Jericho promises revenge tomorrow night against Nick Patrick, because he’ll still have one arm, two legs, and a head to hit Patrick with. He doesn’t even want to think about what’s going to happen. How Chris Jericho became one of the best talkers in the business is lost on me, because he’s about the least convincing wrestler I’ve heard speak. Even worse than that guy with one leg.
BUNKHOUSE BUCK vs. ARN ANDERSON
Was this taped in 1993? Does the winner face Stunning Steve for the US title? How will this affect Dustin Rhodes? Neither announcer pays any attention to this, because Tony’s too busy whining about the nWo attack on Monday, and promises that if they do it again, he’s going to leave yet again. I’m going to assume that since the boss is on THEIR side, that might be a career limiting move. Arn kicks Buck in the throat, and pounds him as he lays face down on the buckle. Meanwhile, it’s just occurring to Tony, that at Bash at the Beach, Eric Bischoff disappeared at the last second and he had to do the broadcast. And who was responsible for the briefcase in the limo? Now they’re using their heads, props to the announce team and writers for keeping the story together nicely. DDT wins it for Anderson at 3:38. DUD
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND invites Arn to chat. He hopes that Luger saw the DDT he just gave Buck. See, because Luger failed to finish him at Halloween Havoc, he’s come back to haunt him, and he’s gonna catch him at World War 3. Then he’ll win the Battle Royal, because in the last year alone he’s beaten Hogan twice, and even Flair. You tell ‘em, Arn!
THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS (with Colonel Robert Parker) vs. MARK STARR and CASEY THOMPSON
The Canadians try their best to show a little patriotism, but nope, Tony Schiavone talks ALL over them. As we all try to shake off our collective disgust, I am a little intrigued by Casey Thompson. Is he our 4th member of the Men at Work? Should we order him a hard hat? Or did Mark Starr tender his resignation, and has gone scab against the Union to work independently going forward? Honest to god, WCW does not do anywhere near enough with their sideline reports (I’m looking directly at YOU Gene Mean) to answer these types of pressing questions. Of course, without the Union protection, this match does not go well. Casey Thompson is unpolished, and probably doesn’t belong in this kind of environment, succumbing to an assisted senton at 1:33. Mark Starr never even got a chance to enter the ring. DUD
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND discusses tomorrow night’s World War 3 with the French Canadians, or as Gene calls them, “The Amazing Canadians!” The Colonel is a little late, because he’s changing into his “war clothes”. Ouellette promises to show the world what Quebec is all about tomorrow night. A high rate of teenage smoking, and unemployment? Vast Pepsi consumption and an unhealthy obsession with hockey? The Colonel arrives, dressed like the missing piece from your Stratego box, and vows incapacitation for Harlem Heat. He’s still livid that Sherri “jerked him off” … the apron, and slapped him. He will have his way with her one more time. Oh my.
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER
Nash is a little annoyed that he only just got a leaflet that indicates they’re now in a triangle match at World War 3 last night. The way he understands it, if one of the fat guys pins one of the other fat guys, they lose the belts. Hall knows it’s a lame attempt by WCW to screw them over, but they’ve already taken out the Nastys before and they’ll do it again. Regarding the “savages” from the island, they punked them on Monday, so they’re no problem either. Eat your words.
MIKE ENOS vs. JEFF JARRETT
Dusty’s all about this match up, because in his opinion, Mike Enos can beat anybody at any time. I’d like to start by seeing him beat anybody before we get ahead of ourselves. Enos headbutts Jarrett, but Jeff punches him around and struts. A hiptoss keeps Enos grounds, and Jarrett points to his head cuz he’s so gosh darn smart. Enos tries to come back, but misses a big splash, and winds up locked in an armbar. Enos fights loose, running Jarrett from corner to corner, but he misses an avalanche and gets pounded. More strutting leads to a swinging neckbreaker. Enos tries to powerslam Jarrett, but his knee buckles, and Jarrett applies the Figure Four for the win at 3:57. *1/2
Backstage, “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND is lurking like a moustachioed sex offender, dreaming of the golden locks of Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett reminds us he was never chokeslammed at Halloween Havoc, despite the fact Giant has chokeslammed every member of the Horsemen in the past. He’s going to chop Giant down to size, and then win World War 3.
Over in the world of nWo Saturday Night, the tag-team tournament rolls on. Tonight, we’re looking at:
“PISTOL” PEZ WHATLEY
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 299 lbs.
Reach: 32”
Fist: 18”
Hometown: Chattanooga, TN
Pro Record: 99-76
Doughboy look-a-like winner
The largest small man in wrestling
“BIG BUCK” BREZNER
Height: 6’9”
Weight: 263 lbs.
Reach: 40”
Fist: 18 1/4”
Hometown: Hamtramic, Mich
Pro Record: 33-32
a.k.a. Sasquatch
Has the biggest feet in pro wrestling
Your ring announcer is TED DIBIASE, and the referee is the mysterious DOCTOR X.
“PISTOL” PEZ WHATLEY and “BIG BUCK” BEZNER vs. THE OUTSIDERS (with The Giant and Syxx)
Nash provides commentary on his walk to the ring, including glorious stuff like “it looks like Nash is going to stay on the apron”. Hall throws his toothpick in the eyes of Whatley, but fails to collapse in a laughing fit. Whatley uses “some kind of arm maneuver”, chosen because Hall is at his best from a vertical base. Still, Hall immediately turns the tables with a Japanese clothesline. Nash sees a great open opportunity, and tags himself in (without a tag and Hall on the other side of the ring), hitting a Japanese clothesline of his own while calling the action the entire time. Doctor X joins the fun now, and goes for the cover, but Nash’s neck goes out before he can make the 3 count. Buck tags in, and Hall takes over the commentary. Nash hits the barrage, and Big Grouchy is in full control. Hall tags in, and puts Buck in a pretzel hold. Nash compliments Buck on his astounding good looks, and he’s apparently often used as an extra on Melrose Place. Nash comes in and uses his big size 15 into the mush, and the sidewalk slam finishes, only after he demands a 5 count.
“LORD” STEVEN REGAL vs. DEAN MALENKO (for the WCW world television title)
Chance for Malenko to grab double gold here, though let’s face it, against my man Regal, he has no hope at all. With luck, the time limit on this one is longer than the 4 minutes we got last week. The two trade off a little chain wrestling, while the fans chant “USA” even though Tampa Bay isn’t actually acknowledged as part of America by any reputable geography major. Malenko takes down Regal in a test of strength and nearly scores a pinfall, but Regal’s strong core keeps him from staying down. Malenko grapevines the leg, so Regal escapes the hold using some of the finest counter moves taught to him by wily old shooters on the mean streets of Blackpool; specifically, he pokes him in the eye. A palm thrust is enough to draw a 2. Regal applies a grounded stretch, releases, and throws his knee into Deano’s face. Malenko fires back, but can’t whip the Englishman who hooks the top rope for safety. Regal misses a blind charge, but blocks a double axehandle off the top. Dean goes behind, but Regal reverse switches and gets a schoolboy for 2. Malenko comes right back with a backslide for 2. Regal mounts him from behind, but Malenko switches and hooks the shoulders almost getting 2. Regal turns to the European uppercuts, but Dean bridges backwards, hooks Regal’s legs, and scores the pinfall at 5:10. New champion? My mouth just went dry. I have lost the will to live. Wait, is that a glimmer of hope? Yes – Dean’s shoulders were down, and Regal retains! Regal lectures Malenko, which draws the ire of Dean and a nasty look. Please, Regal invented the nasty look. **1/2
Our main event is a complete replay of the Bischoff turn, which you and I already covered on Nitro. And that’s a wrap!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone south of the border. Enjoy your time with your family. I’ll be back soon.
Rants →

WCW Saturday Night: November 16, 1996

22nd November 2014 by Scott Keith
LostInUbe writes: Wait, so IF the nWo had offered DDP a spot earlier he would have joined them? So his standing up to the nWo is not about supporting WCW but about his hurt feelings?
Of course he would have, and it would have been completely in character. Here’s the thing about DDP, he’s a *total* scumbag who would screw over anyone to better himself. But he needs to feel like the most important guy in the room. He had Kimberly dancing around the ring for years, holding up scores of “10” to remind him how great he was. He wouldn’t even hand over the worthless BattleBowl ring to Eddie Guerrero after a loss, even though it has absolutely NO value, because it’s a reminder that he was awesome one night in May. Everything is about Diamond Dallas Page.
By neglecting Page until 7 other guys joined, he was basically being told “you’re worth less to us than Virgil”. And that, by anyone’s standards, and especially an egomaniac like Diamond Dallas Page, is NOT ok. So by staying with WCW, he can still worry about himself because nobody else is working in simpatico anyway, making him nobody’s lackey. He would have done the same thing if WCW had come to him as Sting’s replacement for War Games.

Dr. Unlikely on Piper: I have distinct memories of watching the mysterious package stuff happen and just being completely thrown by how weird the whole thing was. Like, they played a whole music video by actor “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. A music video that contained a SECRET MESSAGE and was delivered by a mysterious courier who hopped the barrier and hand-delivered it to Tony Schiavone on live TV and they just went ahead and put it on, presumably (knowing what we’re going to know on the next show) without anyone in the company previewing it first. It could have had a murder on it! It could have had a curse on it that made everyone who watched Nitro die in seven days!
So, let’s assume that Piper sent this and that Tony – using his critical analysis skills as a telejournalist – was right that, what we were supposed to focus on was the Piper vs. Hogan marquee. Does that man Piper really had been angling for this for four years at this point, but this was the first opportunity to get that message to anyone? Or did Piper need to find a way to secretly deliver that message and was like “Oh, yeah, I got that weird-ass music video I randomly made that one time, got Hogan’s name in it, I’ll pay some guy to hop the rail and give it to Schiavone if security doesn’t kill him first”?
It truly was mind-boggling how incredibly stupid the entire deal was. We are supposed to believe that a LIVE television show is prepared to show whatever’s on this tape, because it might be relevant to the product. But what happens if they put it in the VCR and hit play just as Ron Jeremy’s letting loose a seven roper all over TNT? That’s probably the second most likely thing on the tape. (Most likely: The mid-90’s equivalent of the YouTube Vlog, featuring the dude staring in the camera and awkwardly giving his “take” on the wrestling business.)
But then, because there were 4 or 5 shots of the Marquee Event at the start of the music video, the secret message was that Roddy Piper wanted a match with Hogan. Congratulations, you cracked the code. If they’d spent 5 minutes talking to him at any point during the last 25 years, they’d have reached the same conclusion. Piper was angling for a match with Hogan at Wrestlemania as recently as this year! He’s the real life equivalent of Sal Bandini, and he’ll be popping up in Hogan’s life until they’re 90 years old, asking “wanna wrestle?”
We all could have saved ourselves a world of embarrassment if Twitter had existed in 1996. Tony: “Fans, we’re taking you now to a ‘Tweet’ from Roddy Piper, which reads ‘at RealHulkHogan, Starrcade? Hashtag WCW Hashtag Piper’s Pit Hashtag I’m Your Man.’ Brain, it sounds like Roddy Piper wants Hollywood Hogan at Starrcade, and he’s telling us he’s the man. We’ll check in with the nWo later who I’m sure will have a lot to say, but first, let’s take you back to Saturday Night where Brad Armstrong’s date that was set up on ‘Tinder’ turned out to be a ruse by one M Wallstreet.”
Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE and the KOOL AID MAN. Sorry, that’s Dusty Rhodes. He’s speculatin’ about Sting’s face paint, they a different colah if you weel. With ANY hope, this means they’re completely abandoned the Piper angle after Monday’s atrocity. (Spoiler: Full steam ahead!)
“HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN vs. THE GAMBLER
Full-fledged riverboat Gambler tonight, AND he’s stolen that giant deck of cards from the Price Is Right! That’s dedication to one’s character! Duggan stomps around like an elephant with herpes, screaming and hollering the entire way. He pounds on the Gambler, while Dusty preps to filibuster about. Dusty says Gambler’s still lookin’ for his first trip to the pay windah, unfortunate for a man trying to keep himself in action. Duggan bites Gambler in the ear, but doesn’t get disqualified because WCW sucks. Nick Patrick wouldn’t have stood for it. A scoop slam leads to Duggan reaching around into the deepest part of his trucks, whipping out … a roll of tape. The referee isn’t having that, so Duggan tosses it to Gambler, who’s so confused that he gets nailed by the 3 Point Stance for the Duggan win at 2:30. Tony is all over patting Duggan on the back for not cheating. HOW DIDN’T HE CHEAT? He used the tape, an ILLEGAL OBJECT, to distract his opponent. Bruno Sammartino would be spinning on Frank Gotch’s grave! 1/2*
HUGH MORRUS vs. JIM POWERS (with Teddy Long)
Morrus is without the cavalry; but they’re probably preparing to defend the Leprechaun in his upcoming match with Jack Boot. Somehow, the WCW executive team took a look at tonight’s card, saw the name of Jim Powers, and didn’t immediately think “yes, this would be a good non-controversial place for Nick Patrick to referee.” It’s like they’re learning. Powers hits a scoop slam, but Morrus clotheslines and tosses him out of the ring. Powers comes back in and tries a crossbody, landing safely in the awaiting arms of Morrus who slams him with ease. Powers finds himself locked in a bear hug, and the HGH is literally being squeezed from his pores. He breaks loose, and goes to slam Morrus, who’s way too fat and falls on top for 2. Despite being well in control, Morrus cheats and chokes the man out. The referee keeps control, by giving Morrus 5 seconds to release. Even today’s modern non-violent parent shows less restraint. Powers mounts a comeback for like 3 seconds before being given the No Laughing Matter at 5:09. Tony’s excited to announce that Hugh Morrus will be in the Battle Royal at World War 3! *1/2
TONY SCHIAVONE (hey, I thought we had Gene back!) stands with JIMMY HART and KEVIN SULLIVAN. Hart is so happy he wants to kiss Tony (from which Tony hilariously backs away), because the Faces of Fear have been added to the World Tag-Team Title match! YES! *I* want to kiss Tony Schiavone! Meanwhile, Sullivan’s still grumbling about Benoit for some reason. Sullivan vows after they fight in Baltimore on a house show they are inexplicably hyping the crap out of, that one of them won’t be reporting to the PPV the next night. Benoit’s history says neither of them will.
HECTOR GUERRERO vs. CHRIS BENOIT (with Woman)
So, Hector’s appearance on Monday wasn’t some sort of inside joke? He’s actually on WCW’s roster? Benoit of course was destroyed by the Dungeon of Doom Monday, and is a little tender tonight. NICK PATRICK referees inexplicably, he has no beef here. Hector takes full advantage, backdropping Benoit to the floor and then hitting a slingshot reverse plancha. They head back in, and Benoit’s fairly upset to be fighting a 3rd tier Guerrero, hitting a hard backdrop suplex and pounding away in the corner. Guerrero sneaks in a cradle, but can’t score the pin. Benoit chokes Hector across the ropes, but upon release he misses a blind charge. Hector flies off the top with a crossbody, and goes for an abdominal stretch but Benoit’s in the ropes quickly, throwing elbows. A powerbomb from Chris seconds later scores the pin at 3:18. Good stuff here. Tune in next week when Mondo Guerrero makes his debut. **
Benoit storms off to the back, and enters HUGH MORRUS’ dressing room. (Morrus has his own dressing room!?!?!) He destroys Morrus with broken brooms over his back, before what appears to be ICE TRAIN and KENNY KAOS attack, and get laid out immediately. Morrus screams violently, while everything is bleeped out.
JACK BOOT and HARDBODY HENDERSON vs. HIGH VOLTAGE
Kaos sure recovered fast. Hardbody Henderson? How will his twin brother Hardbody Harrison feel about this? Voltage kills both in short order, with Kaos nearly scoring the pin via Hart Attack, but the NASTY BOYS hit the ring and decide to wipe the floor with everyone at 1:20. Jack Boot should consider joining the State Patrol, there’s no way Buddy Lee Parker would have put up with this. DUD
Knobbs (correctly) reminds everyone they’re not wanted. Still, he hears the cheers of “NASTY”, so he thinks the fans still need them around. They made a mistake trusting his best friend, Hulk Hogan, but everyone makes mistakes, and they hope to earn everyone’s respect. They are coming across as butt hurt, vindictive, jilted ex-lovers, who turned their backs on all their friends for their possessive significant other, and once they were tossed to the curb (as everyone knew they WOULD be), they want their friends back. Careers – neutered.
Elsewhere, TONY SCHIAVONE is hanging out with JEFF JARRETT. He’s pissed at Sting for laying him out, and he feels like Sting has no reason to have beef because he’s the one who turned HIS back on WCW. He figures Sting can’t handle the truth, that he’s a traitor. Jarrett says everyone’s worried about Sting behind them – he thinks Sting needs to worry about Jeff Jarrett. Turning his attention to next Sunday; he’s going to beat the Giant and then win World War 3. Lofty goals.
JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. DEAN MALENKO (for the WCW world cruiserweight title)
Juvi gets more title shots than Wilt Chamberlain gets ladies. When he starts winning matches, this guy’s gonna hold every belt in the company. Juvi starts with the armdrags, which sends Dusty off his rocker, screaming about the Mothaship. Man, if one hurricanrana hits, he’s going to need to change his underoos. Juvi misses a springboard something, and gets nailed with a backdrop suplex. Malenko drops a knee and goes for a “whirleebirdy” (tm Dusty), but Juvi falls on top. Malenko quickly recovers and slams Juvi’s face to the buckle. Double underhook suplex gets 2. Tony says “Cable Ace Awards” about 700 times, reminding us they’re airing tonight. Malenko tries a suplex, but Juvi rolls through and gets 2. Nearly a trip to the pay windah! Malenko misses a blind charge, and Juvi hits a springboard missile dropkick, drops the Mexican People’s Elbow, and gets 2. Dean jumps to the apron, and Juvi punches him to the floor. He goes for a springboard, botches it, heads up a second time, and hits the plancha, while Malenko stands there staggering the entire time. Back in, 360 splash gets 2! They brawl to the top rope, where Malenko wins with a super gutbuster, and scores the pinfall at 6:10. **1/2
ALAN SHARPE is here tonight! NICK PATRICK with his neck brace want a word with TONY SCHIAVONE. Before we get anywhere though, Tony blindsides them with appearances from CHRIS JERICHO and TEDDY LONG. Long says that Patrick has cost Jericho every match he’s wrestled on Nitro for weeks. And, since Sharpe did some digging into Teddy’s past the other day, he went poking into his business. Starting with the fact his law firm is called Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. Sharpe reminds everyone that Jericho’s father was a hockey goon, just like Jericho. Jericho angrily states this has nothing to do with his father. Long says Jericho could beat up Patrick with one hand behind his back at any time. Sharpe says that’s a verbal contract, and Jericho’s fine with that, because he knows he can beat him. Patrick says he feels like the Real Deal Holyfield, and his neck is starting to feel just a little bit better.
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. THE CHEETAH KID
I’m fairly certain Iaukea’s under the hood tonight. Not that it matters, NICK PATRICK is the referee, and his good friend Page never loses. Except, something weird happens. The fans actually start a “Dee Dee Pee!” chant. They seemingly don’t want him to go to the nWo, it’s like his strong booking, confidence, and charisma is winning them over. Cheetah tries some sort of single leg crab, but Page fires back with a gutbuster and struts around taunting “come here pussy cat!” Cheetah hits a snapmare, and dropkicks Page to the apron. A springboard dropkick sends Page crashing, but Cheetah’s subsequent Asai misses and he hits the grill. Page drags him back in, but pulls Cheetah up at 2. Why? Because he wants to hit the Diamond Cutter, which he does, at 3:50. “Divide, and conquer! GOOD GAWD!” *
TONY SCHIAVONE confronts Page on his way back to the locker room, first buttering him up as a strong battle royal competitor since he won Battlebowl in May. Regarding the nWo, Tony wants to know where he’s at. Page is pissed because Nash insinuated his friendship with Bischoff went above the nWo. Page says he never wound have tipped Bischoff about the nWo and their business, because his relationship with Hall and Nash is different than his friendship with Bischoff. He says once he wins World War 3, it’s him and Hogan, and then he’ll see what Hall and Nash want to do at that time.
THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS vs. BOBBY EATON and CHAVO GUERRERO JR.
For the first time since their arrival in WCW, the Canadians get the entirety of the National Anthem, which Tony talks ALL over because he has no class. NICK PATRICK is assigned again. I hope Bobby Eaton regrets his decision to turn on Dave Taylor. This cannot be considered a step up, no matter how many Guerrero family members Chavo has at his disposal. The Canadians use all their fantastic double team moves, 100% of which involve Rougeau throwing Ouellette around like a cannonball. “Vive la Quebec!” screams Jacques, which in fact is a heat magnet in every Canadian province aside from the chain smoking capital of the world. Ouellette hits Chavo with a top rope legdrop during a giant shmozz, and Rougeau follows with a double leg slam. Quebec Crash scores the easy win at 3:50, which was the same length as the last match. It’s like the matches are predetermined or something. *1/2
Meanwhile, on nWo Saturday Night, tonight’s featured competitors are …
BRIAN COSTELLO
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 242 lbs.
Reach: 35”
Fist: 18”
Hometown: Leevittsburg, OH
Pro Record: 38 & 30
Wrestling Fashion Plate 1984
Richie’s Place Guzzling Champ
JACK SHANE
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 263”
Reach: 37”
Fist: 17”
Hometown: Gregory, SD
Pro Record: 27-17
Green Wrestler Award 3 yrs.
Tri State Grappler of the Year ‘91
We’re warned to look out for Costello’s flashy tights. Your ring announcer is TED DIBIASE, who announces this match is for the WCW world tag-team titles, sanctioned by WCW. DOCTOR X is your referee. Your announcers are SCOTT HALL and KEVIN NASH. Nash worries about Shane’s ability to adjust to the left coast time change.
BRIAN COSTELLO and JACK SHANE vs. THE OUTSIDERS (with the Giant and Syxx) (for the WCW world tag-team titles)
Doctor X pats down the Outsiders for illegal objects, sounding a LOT like Nick Patrick, but it can’t be as he’s not in a neck brace. Nash and Hall gush over the “history, tradition, and pride” of the belts, which are falling apart and kept together by tape. Hall chops away, as Nash announces “that’ll leave a mark, especially on THAT white skin!” Nash tags in, and keeps the stick, even calling his own sidewalk slam. Hall: “Give him the snake eyes big man!” And so he does, with Hall finishing with a clothesline. Nash throws Shane to the corner to force him to tag out, because Nash wants to work over Costello. Hall loves the yellow and green tights, and gets the tag. Hall: “In comes Hall!” Nash feels the bleached hair doesn’t work in 1996 wrestling arenas, but congratulates him for trying. Nash hits a big boot, and Hall wants an Outsider Bomb. Nash delivers, and Hall can’t believe Costello still has hair on his chest. Shane jumps over to get involved, and canned heat from the empty arena boos mercilessly. Hall flattens him with the Outsiders Edge, and the Outsiders retain at 4:41.
PSYCHOSIS vs. “LORD” STEVEN REGAL (for the WCW world television title)
Regal, always the gentleman, wipes his shoes on the apron so as not to soil the ring. I’m torn here, I don’t know what to do. I love both of these men. Can’t they each have a TV title? I think that’s the only way to go here. It worked for Jericho and Chyna, right? We get some chain wrestling, including a test of strength which Regal loses. Penzer announces there’s only 3 minutes left in television time. What the hell is that??? Both guys rock back and forth, trading 2 counts. Regal pokes Psychosis in the eyes, but I’m not quite sure how. European uppercuts, delivered at a force of roughly 0.75 Dave Taylors. Regal drops Psychosis “on a very vital part of his anatomy” says Dusty. I’ll let you guess which one, but you’d probably be wrong. Regal tries to rip the horns off Psychosis’ head, before giving up and going to the butterfly suplex. Regal smartly recognizes that time is ticking, and locks Psychosis in a chinlock. He releases, and schoolboys the challenger for 2. With 40 seconds to go, Psychosis gets a rollup for 2. However, Regal nails a European uppercut. With seconds left, Psychosis hits a spinning heel kick, connects with the guillotine legdrop, and time runs out at 5:23. ** Yes, you read that right. And even though we’re out of TV time …
TONY SCHIAVONE still finds time to talk to his Lordship. We were so robbed here, I’m not happy. Regal says he’s the only champion left in WCW, and he’s ready to lead them. He could even make Piper sound sedated if they let him. He feels he could show Dean Malenko how to beat Psychosis at the pay-per-view, but without his help he has no chance. And when Psychosis wins, he’ll take the title away from him too, and prove he’s the greatest. You don’t need to prove it to me, Lord Steven.
I’d like to point out we ran out of TV time about 5 minutes ago, but APPARENTLY we can re-live the package delivery and subsequent Piper music video from 1992. Priorities! And I stupidly sit here and watch it, rocking back and forth like a catatonic in-patient unable to look away. He’s a full load, it’s why they call him Hot Rod. I’m going to be ill.
And STILL, enough time remains for Hogan’s response! There are days this company lives to drive me insane, and even 18 years later, I can still get as aggravated as ever. Please, Worldwide, save me!
Rants →

WCW Saturday Night: November 9, 1996

17th November 2014 by Scott Keith
Did you have any idea
that Roddy Piper showed up at Halloween Havoc to confront Hollywood Hogan? WCW’s
lack of coverage to this point is embarrassing, as this is clearly the biggest
story of the millennia. So, for you Joe Curious, here’s a clip that hasn’t
aired on any WCW programming to this point. Especially not the last two
episodes of Nitro and last week’s Saturday Night (and tomorrow’s Worldwide).
TONY SCHIAVONE will never forget Hogan’s face at Halloween Havoc when Piper showed
up. Neither will I, because they’re going to play it on every show from now
until 2085. DUSTY RHODES can’t
believe they met face to face, and promises to talk a lot more about this.

JUVENTUD GUERRERA and PSYCHOSIS vs. THE AMERICAN
MALES
There is nothing that
sucks the hope out of a potentially fantastic match than to hear the quiet
build to the American Males theme. Bagwell claps, Riggs claps, everyone’s got
the clap! No mention of the problems from Monday, and Bagwell’s super babyface
tonight by leading a You Ess Eh chant against these awful foreigners who …
well, haven’t actually done anything to anyone. Juvi hits Bagwell with a spin
kick, and delivers the chops. Bagwell responds with a powerbomb, because he’s
kind of a jerk. Riggs enters and misses a blind charge, allowing Psychosis to
tag in and immediately take a dropkick. Juvi tries to get involved, but Bagwell
dropkicks him, and they clothesline both guys to the floor. AND WE CLAP. Juvi
re-enters with a springboard missile dropkick, and the sheep in attendance boo.
Juvi Driver is on point, but instead of a pin he hits a People’s Elbow. Not
sure I understand your logic there, Juvi. Spin kick in the corner sets up a
springboard guillotine – but Bagwell moves and Juvi destroys his tailbone.
Bagwell tags out, and Riggs has clotheslines for everyone. Riggs bounces into
the ropes and knocks Bagwell to the floor by mistake, and Psychosis launches
himself with a flying body attack! Juvi’s right behind with a slingshot 360
guillotine, and Team Mexico wins at 4:39!!!
That was my shock of the day, and I could not be happier. ** Bagwell gets a
little mad, but offers his hands for a high 10 to ensure they’re cool, and they
are. Jian Ghomeshi recommends a little bit of hate fucking to clear those
problems right up.
JIM DUGGAN vs. STEVEN REGAL (for the WCW world
television title)
NICK PATRICK is assigned here, which probably bodes well for his lordship. You
may recall the Outsiders were instrumental in Regal claiming the TV title; but
he doesn’t appear to be associated with the nWo. Nick Patrick finds a roll of
tape in Duggan’s pants, and discards of it rightly. Duggan stomps around like a
retarded robot, and Regal hits the floor with bugged out eyes trying to
comprehend what’s happening. Once he figures it’s safe, he re-enters and hits
Duggan with a European uppercut. Duggan responds with a half dozen
clotheslines, and Regal hits the floor in the worst pain he’s ever suffered
based on his face. Back in, Patrick gets between them to give Regal a chance,
and as he moves Regal claws the eyes. More European uppercuts send Duggan
stomping around again. He throws some rock hard punches, but Regal pokes the
eyes and Duggan is blinded. Unable to see, he wanders around like Moses in the
desert, and since Regal is God, he parts Duggan’s eyes with a knee lift. Duggan
refuses to get his head slammed to the buckle (literally screaming
“NOOOOOOO!”), and slams Regal instead. Regal responds with a back elbow, but
misses a senton. Duggan tapes up his fist, and Patrick sees it immediately
throwing it out at 4:05. Regal is
decked regardless, but still the champion! Duggan points his board at Patrick’s
head, but he scoots away to the floor where Regal gently ensures he’s alright,
like the gentleman that he is. *1/2
TONY SCHIAVONE checks in with Duggan, and immediately makes me long for the still
missing Mean Gene. Apparently he’s sick to his stomach about Nick Patrick
(Duggan, not Gene). He says the only flag he salutes is the red white and blue,
and not Nick Patrick. What the hell is he talking about? He throws out a
message to his good friend Terry Hogan (who?), and orders him to shoot straight
with him going forward, or he’ll beat him up. I don’t find it fair that he’s
able to utter these threats without letting this alleged Terry Hogan reply.
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. ICE TRAIN (with Teddy
Long)
This is a rematch from
Nitro, right down to the referee, NICK
PATRICK. Train had Page beat on Monday until an untimely shoulder injury
stopped Patrick’s ability to count, and the Outsiders sealed the win with an
assist for Page. Dusty actually brings up Page’s past history with Hall and
Nash, which I believe is the first time WCW has brought this up. Train hits the
Train Wreck almost right away, but Page actually kicks out on a fair 2 count.
Page comes back with a boot to the face, and a clothesline to take Train down.
The pancake gets 2, and Train accidentally hits Patrick’s shoulder on his
kickout. Patrick doesn’t sell it, but he could just be putting on a tough face
for all of us; let’s keep our eyes on this. A headlock is worked, but Train has
no neck so I don’t really see the point. A swinging neckbreaker gives Page time
to head to the top, but Train crotches him HARD. Those plums done turned purple
on that one. Train pulls Page off the top by the hair, and faceplants him. 10
head shots to the buckle set up a powerslam, but Patrick’s way out of position
so it takes an extra second to count, exactly what Page needs to kick out. Page
digs in his tights for something, and Long starts freaking the hell out!
Patrick goes over to find out what Long’s problem is, as he’s hollering and
pointing at Page. Of course, DDP levels Train with no problems, and by the time
Patrick checks, Page is already on top for the easy win at 5:08. *1/2 Dusty speculates there’s “some cahootin’ goin’ on”. Long
loses his mind on Patrick, but Nick tells him if he’d stayed in his damn corner
maybe he’d have seen it. “YOU WASN’T LOOKIN’!” Long tells Patrick he’s no
longer the man he used to know, as Gotye songs start going off in my head.
THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS vs. HARLEM HEAT (with
Sista Sherri)
The Canadians demand the
anthem be played, but they’re greeted with Harlem Heat’s music instead. No
matter, they sing the National Anthem anyway, though I WISH they’d tried to
keep it on beat with the music because that would have been amazing. No Colonel
Parker, because slavery ended 100 years ago. A donnybrook erupts immediately,
with everyone trading punches! There’s some feelings here, not seen since the
best of 401 series between Harlem Heat and Rough & Ready. Stevie Ray drops
an elbow on Ouellette, which is unfortunate because that means he’s run through
his whole moveset already. Booker hits the flying jalapeno, but isn’t able to
follow up because Rougeau pulls him to the floor. The Frenchmen work over
Booker in the corner, and Ouellette builds up some steam with a quadrouple rope
bounce before hammering Booker with a clothesline. Rougeau works a camel
clutch, and by god, COLONEL ROBERT
PARKER shows up! Ouellette misses the assisted senton as Parker goes to
talk to Sherri, and he’s a world of emotion, not even stopping to mop his brow.
Parker jumps on the apron to cheer his boys on, but Sherri decks him! Parker
threatens to knock her back to the 1800’s, but Harlem Heat dives to the floor
to whoop the massa. That gets them counted out at 3:01, but it doesn’t matter. Stevie says the Colonel has a major
malfunction threatening to hit a woman. Tune in next week for their public
hanging. *
HUGH MORRUS vs. CHRIS BENOIT (with Woman)
Benoit’s shoulder is
still taped, and NICK PATRICK’s neck
is still in a brace. Morrus comes out clubberin’, and Dusty doesn’t even call
it! Woman’s powers of distraction are truly amazing. An avalanche has Benoit
gasping for air, but Morrus spends too long posing and gets dropkicked in the
knee. He goes right for it, working it over in the ropes. A dragon screw has
Morrus limping around, and Benoit keeps kicking away at the knee.
Unfortunately, he gets too close, and eats a shoulderbreaker. A clothesline
sends Morrus up top, but Patrick’s standing in the way checking Benoit. Morrus
drops down to scream at him to move, letting Woman rake the eyes! Belly to
belly overhead with a bridge scores the win at 3:35. **
MAXX
and BIG BUBBER attack post-match,
and with Morrus behind him, Benoit’s outnumbered. He does a good job fending
them off, until Bubba catches him and slams him spine first over the guardrail!
Jeezus man! KEVIN SULLIVAN and JIMMY HART hit the scene, and Sullivan
kicks him in the ribs repeatedly. Bubba gives Benoit two more Rock Bottom’s
directly on top of the guardrail! The fans start reaching over to try and pull
Benoit to safety, but he’s property of the DoD now, and they’re feasting like
dogs. Great segment, and Benoit’s a sick man taking those bumps.
TONY SCHIAVONE demands to know what the heck was up with that? Jimmy says that a 20
second phone call from Nancy started this, and it’s proof that nobody should
ever trust a woman. Sullivan demands to know where Benoit’s cavalry is. Sullivan
says he’s not soft, and he can’t wait to feed it to Benoit again in Baltimore.
Elsewhere, MIKE TENAY wants JEFF JARRETT’s thoughts on the lack of a leader in WCW. Jarrett
says he’s ready to lead the Four Horsemen, and he’s going to prove it at World
War 3. Jarrett reminds everyone the Giant hasn’t chokeslammed him yet, and he
won’t.
REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. DEAN MALENKO (for the WCW
world cruiserweight title)
This is a hell of a match
to be giving away on this show, but I ain’t complaining. Winner gets Psychosis
at World War 3. Rey starts in with dropkicks immediately, and packages Malenko
for 2. Before we can get too involved, we turn things over to …
Words from PSYCHOSIS! Hell yes! He bangs out about
the 3 English words he knows, “you and me, Cruiserweight title” before
reverting to Spanish. I like to think it was planned that way, but I used to
co-ordinate interviews for my company, and I’ve seen on more than one occasion
candidates pretending to be bilingual and giving me answers in much the same
vein as Psychosis just did. Though to be fair, Psychosis’ English was better
than theirs often was.
Back in the ring,
Malenko’s regained control and is flattening Rey with the double leg slam. A
delayed brainbuster gets 2. To the mat we go, where Malenko locks on a grounded
version of the abdominal stretch. He releases, and hits a backbreaker for 2.
Rey gets kicked to the floor, which is probably the best place for him because
Dean isn’t hitting him out there. Rey scoots back in, taking a fireman’s carry
into a gutbuster smoothly. Deano goes for the electric chair, but that’s about
the worst position to put Rey in, because he rolls forward and takes them both
to the floor. Malenko rolls Rey back in first, which is once again a mistake,
because Rey dropkicks him off the apron as he’s coming in, before flattening
him with tope suicida!! Back in, Rey hits a springboard sunset flip for 2.
Malenko is angry, and hits a tigerbomb for 2. Rey delivers a back elbow, and
pops up to the top with a sky twisting bodyblock for 2. He tries to finish with
the West Coast Pop, but Dean hooks the shoulders and backslides Rey for the pin
at 5:31. While I could bear to let
these guys chill out without a rematch for awhile, they have great chemistry
and this was no exception. ***1/2
TONY SCHIAVONE wants to interview the champ about his upcoming match with Psychosis.
Malenko tells Psychosis he’s giving him an opportunity to prove himself to
Mexico, but not to kid himself, he’ll still be champion. Let’s take the
microphone away from Malenko in the future.
Meanwhile, on nWo
Saturday Night, we continue the Cruiserweight tournament…
THE BOUNTY HUNTER
Height: 6’5”
Weight: A lean 325 lbs.
Reach: 35”
Fist: 16”
Hometown: Oakland, CA
Pro Record: 52-12
Voted Most Likely to
Offend
Way Big for a
Cruiserweight
KEVIN NASH welcomes us to a sold out arena (surrounded by completely empty
seats). TED DIBIASE is your ring
announcer, DOCTOR X is the referee,
and SCOTT HALL joins Nash on
commentary.
THE BOUNTY HUNTER vs. SYXX (in a Cruiserweight
tournament match)
Nash figures Bounty
Hunter hasn’t showered in 10-15 days to get that level of buildup in his hair.
Regarding the Bounty Hunter, Nash sums it up with: “This man looks horrible!”
The Outsiders move to golf-style commentary, with whispering. Bounty Hunter shoves
Syxx knocking off his bandana, which is a big mistake. Hunter pounds Syxx in
the corner, but misses an avalanche and Syxx kicks him a dozen times. 3
straight spin kicks drops him in the corner, and then chokes him in the ropes
in front of the announce team, who take turns slapping him. Hall: “Don’t you
run your mouth to me Bounty Hunter, or I’ll put you in the tag-team
tournament!” Nash: “I have two words for you: eat salad!” Syxx hits an early
version of the Bronco buster, with just one big penis thrust – still not
perfected! Syxx drops the straps, as Nash declares him the house of proverbial
fire! Spinning heel kick scores the pin.
The Outsiders want a word
with the victor, but mostly so Nash can throw a parting shot at the Bounty
Hunter. Syxx thought he was in trouble when his bandana got knocked off, but
he’s a swinger baby, and you don’t mess with a swinger. Does Chyna know?
MAXX vs. LEX LUGER
We actually saw this
match once before on the May 27
edition of Nitro, but it may have been overshadowed by something else. You
know, if I’m Maxx, I’m a little bothered the Dungeon can’t be bothered to send
me back up. Hart is always ringside for the Faces of Fear. Braun the Leprechaun
frequently tries to eat referees anytime Kevin Sullivan is present. But Maxx?
Always the bridesmaid. Lex tries a shoulderblock to no avail, but after picking
up a little steam on the second go, it works. And so we ROAR! A pair of slams
set up some sort of leaping something, but Maxx lifts his knees, and Luger’s
hurt. Oh no! Will he be able to come back and win? Could this be the era of
Maxx? Maxx stomps Lex by the ropes, and delivers a powerslam for 2. He was 1
second away from main eventing Starrcade, don’t kid yourself. Maxx argues with
the referee, giving Luger a chance to small package him for 2. A clothesline
sets up the inevitable Rack, and Maxx taps at 3:07. 1/2*
We close by re-airing the
entire Hogan interview from Nitro, but you and I already saw this, so no need
to talk about it.
Tony believes, deep in
his heart of hearts, that Hogan wants no part of Roddy Piper. This Tony
Schiavone is something of a visionary, I think he might be on to something. And
they sign us off, telling us to remember to check out Nitro.
Rants →

WCW Saturday Night: November 2, 1996

12th November 2014 by Scott Keith
There are no kinks in the
Cyborg Factory, which means WCW Saturday Night will air in full. Tonight, we’ll
see the full appearance of Roddy Piper from Halloween Havoc that we also saw on
Nitro and we’ll play this into the ground whether you like it or not.
Hello TONY SCHIAVONE and DUSTY RHODES! Rhodes was loving the Piper appearance, because
insults were hurled around like a volleyball. And tonight we’ll see that, plus
Sting hiding in the shadows, all here on the mothaship!

JIMMY GRAFFITI vs. EDDIE GUERRERO
Eddie’s still banged up,
but hot damn I hope he’s able to move with more speed than the ridiculous
display on Monday. NICK PATRICK
officiates this one. Eddie whips Graffiti into the ropes, but gets caught with
a standing vertical suplex. Graffiti goes right after the ribs, kicking away
and whipping Eddie into the buckle. A backdrop suplex gets 2. Graffiti rams
Eddie in the ribs repeatedly, but Eddie fires back with a series of punches,
using a European uppercut to accentuate the assault. Graffiti responds by
elevating Eddie and dropping him on the ribs, but Guerrero kicks out at 2.
Jimmy puts on an abdominal stretch, and Guerrero howls. Upon release, Eddie
manages to snap off a rana, buying himself a few seconds. Still, Graffiti is up
first, and drops a leg for 2. He goes upstairs to finish, but misses a big
splash, and Eddie hits the Frog Splash for the pin at 4:21. I can’t imagine that’s gonna do much to help his rib problem.
**
THE FACES OF FEAR vs. THE ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS
Just in case the Faces of
Fear weren’t bloody intimidating enough, now they’re wearing skull jackets on
the way to the ring. I would not want to be Ricky Morton today. And sure
enough, Morton tries his high flying nonsense, leaping right into the awaiting
arms of Barbarian, who slams him with ease. Morton rolls away, and tags in
Gibson who tries to go toe to toe with the clubberin’. Does he have a death
wish? It doesn’t take long for the Fear to isolate Gibson on the floor, and
beat him down for his insolence. Back in, he manages to sunset flip Meng, but a
sunset flip doesn’t actually HURT, so he’s right back up and pounding away.
Over to Barbarian, who slams Gibson’s head into the buckle with some extra
oomph. Gibson tries to bite Barbarian, but Meng is right behind to stop that. Gibson
slams Meng’s head into the buckle, which doesn’t even get a blink out of the
man before he hits Ricky Morton for the hell of it. Barbarian gives Gibson a
backdrop, and poses to his legion of fans. Gibson manages to sneak in a small
package for 2, and tries to keep battling Barbarian. Meng enters with a
backbreaker for 2. Barbarian goes for a falling headbutt off the second rope,
but Gibson rolls away. That allows for the hot tag to Morton, who Tony says is
one of the hardest punchers in the sport. The hell?!? A double dropkick sends
Meng sprawling, and a double backdrop leaves Barbarian stunned. Morton goes up,
but Barbarian crotches the man. He chases down Morton, but Gibson puts
Barbarian on his shoulders allowing for Morton to hit a crossbody block – but
the referee won’t count until Gibson leaves the ring. Once he does, Meng
quietly enters with a Kick of Fear, and Barbarian rolls on top for the win at
6:14. That … wasn’t my favorite Fear match. I need more destruction and less
comebacks from Morton. **
JOE GOMEZ vs. THE CHEETAH KID
Are we still “pushing”
Joe Gomez? I thought we put that to pasture once he started walking half naked
down the beach with Alex Wright, Renegade, and Jim Powers. Unless of course,
this is the start of the era of Cheetah Kid. It’s not Prince Iaukea today, nor
does it appear to be Rocco Rock, so I’m not sure who’s under the hood. Cheetah
hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2, as Dusty laments the difficult time one
faces when they go mano y mano with the Cheetah Kid. Powers small packages the
Kid for 2. A scoop slam sets up a sidewalk slam, and Gomez gets the win at 3:50. 1/2*
CHAVO GUERRERO JR. and JACK BOOT vs. BIG BUBBER
and KEVIN SULLIVAN (with Jimmy Hart)
NICK PATRICK gets the assignment, which seems like an odd placement for him.
Chavo hits a quick drop toe hold, and Jack Boot beats Bubba in the ropes.
Guerrero dropkicks Bubba to the floor, and follows by sending Sullivan flying.
Sullivan charges, and Boot whoops him, followed by Chavo hitting a pair of
dropkicks. Sullivan pushes Chavo outside, and Bubba quickly sends him into the
ring steps. Back in, Bubba hits the straddle, and turns things back to
Sullivan. All hell breaks loose, and in the mess, Hart hands bolt cutters to
Sullivan who whacks Chavo in the face for the pin at 3:03. * After the match, Jack Boot eats a camera man and runs
backstage which foaming like a rabid weasel. That last part might have been my
active imagination.
JOHN TENTA vs. JEFF JARRETT
We’re still playing this
stupid giant killer game, huh? Jarrett has knocked off Ron Studd and Road Block
in recent weeks, but none of them had quite as much back hair as Tenta, so he’s
in for a real battle tonight. Tenta mocks Jarrett by offering a test of
strength about 8 feet in the air, so Jarrett reacts like a child and stomps
Tenta’s feet. Of course, that works about as effectively as a child stomping
your foot, and Tenta decks him hard. Jarrett uses his speed by sliding under
Tenta’s legs, but winds up getting atomic dropped. Jarrett tries a sunset flip,
so Tenta just gives him the banzai, and points to HIS head because he’s so
smart. For example, he knows he is not a fish. Tenta drops a couple of nice
looking legdrops, getting 2. Jarrett throws a series of kicks, but one big club
from Tenta knocks him right back down. Jarrett gets his head slammed to the
buckle, but he rakes the eyes to stall Tenta’s attack. A slam backfires
immediately as Tenta falls on Jarrett for 2. Dusty declares Tenta’s going to
the pay windah, which is the kiss of death as he misses a big splash. Jarrett
hits a chop block, and goes for the Figure Four, but Tenta shoves him right
off. An avalanche misses, and Jarrett leaps off the middle rope with a bulldog
for the pin at 6:10. Maybe I’m in a
good mood, because I liked that. **1/2
TONY SCHIAVONE continues to pull double duty while Gene sits in purgatory, hooking
up with Jarrett in the back. Jarrett says the plug has been pulled, and the nWo
is circling towards the drain. He pleads with the Dungeon of Doom to make good
with the Horsemen, for Luger to focus his anger on the nWo, for Sting to stop
crying, and for the Nastys to stop running their mouths and just step up. Jeff
Jarrett is the only voice of reason these days, which makes for a *really* sad
state of affairs.
BOBBY EATON vs. “LORD” STEVEN REGAL (for the WCW
world television title)
It’s the blowoff we’ve
been waiting 2 months for! His Lordship has been sorely missed on WCW
programming, and one day I hope he chronicles his struggle in escaping the evil
clutches of Ron Studd on that European tour that eventually led to his glorious
return to WCW. Tony bemoans the loss of one of WCW’s great tag-teams when this
group broke up. Preach on, brother! If Regal and Dave Taylor ever parted ways,
I’m not sure what I’d do. I might have to give up this gig and walk the earth
like Jules Winfield, looking for my place. Eaton grapevines the arm of Regal
who is standing up, so Eaton is just sort of dangling in the air. Regal forces
a break, and sells it as the most painful hold in the history of submission
wrestling. Regal offers the hand of friendship, but Eaton decks Regal. Is there
no room for friendships anymore? A swinging neckbreaker has the champion
flopping all over the mat like a fish out of water, and Eaton gets 2. Eaton
pounds in the corner, but the referee gets in the way long enough for Regal to
punch Eaton in the eyes and score a quick pin with his feet on the ropes at 3:40. Glorious. **
Over to nWo Saturday
night … Tonight’s competition comes to us in the form of:
PAT TANAKA
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 200 lbs. or so
Reach: 34”
Fist: 13”
Hometown: Somewhere in
Japan
Pro record: 195-72
Seasoned veteran
Wang cha-ching School
Wax on… Wax off technique
SYXX
works as the ring announcer, with DOCTOR
X still working as the referee.
GOLDBERG PAT TANAKA vs. THE GIANT (for the
WCW United States title)
Nash goes all kinds of
racist to a level that would *not* fly on TV today. Tanaka knows “all the
moves” according to Nash, from his 7th level black belt wearing
Sensei, named (various Asian sounds). Tanaka just bounces off Giant like a ping
pong, and Hall speculates that Tanaka is tired from spending all night in a
Casino. Giant throws Tanaka across the ring, called a “full head drag and
twist!” by Kevin Schiavone. A backdrop hits, which affects all 9421 muscles in
the left lung sez Nash. Giant drops a leg, as Hall swoons. Giant clubs Tanaka.
Hall: “Would you call that a sledgehammer?” Nash: “I’d call it an Ouch! That
knocked the Dickens out of him!” Giant starts criss-crossing, which Nash says
is shaking the entire building. “Like a cat! He reminds me a young lad! Ernie
Ladd!” Giant uses the “I Punk You”, which sets up the Chokeslam for the win at 3:54.
Syxx wants a word with
the victor. Giant says Tanaka was the toughest opponent of his life, but he couldn’t
understand a word he said. He believes if we had a Japanese referee, we’d
discover he quit after the first move. Nash announces the nWo will host their
own pay-per-view in January, “Souled Out”.
For the second time this
week, the entire Piper/Hogan confrontation airs.
CHRIS BENOIT (with Woman) vs. CHRIS JERICHO
Fall Brawl rematch! A
match of this profile could only be handled by one NICK PATRICK. Benoit beats down Jericho in the corner, but spying
the taped ribs, Jericho chops at those to turn the tide. A boot to the head is
followed by a hard hiptoss, so Benoit hits the floor to come up with a new
strategy. Jericho makes the mistake chasing him, so Benoit rolls in and awaits
his prey. They tee off on each other with some rough shots, before Jericho hits
a spinning heel kick into the ribs. Benoit hits the deck again, and whips
Jericho into the ring post when he follows. Benoit charges in to follow up, but
Jericho side-steps and Benoit nails the post hard, chest first. Back in,
Jericho hits a shoulderbreaker that we never see because the camera spends a
half hour checking out Woman. A backslide gets 2. Benoit tries a whip, but
Jericho throws his shoulder into Benoit on the follow through right in the
tender spot, and gets 2. Benoit goes for a suplex, but Jericho drops to the mat
with a cross armbreaker. Benoit gets to the ropes, and Woman rakes Jericho in
the eyes while Patrick is busy checking on Benoit. Benoit quickly hits a
powerbomb for the win at 5:36. As
much as I hated their Fall Brawl encounter, I loved this. ***1/2
TONY SCHIAVONE wants a word with Benoit and Woman before we close off the show.
We’re talking Kevin Sullivan apparently. Benoit says the only reason Sullivan
is still allowed to make a living in wrestling, is because Benoit hasn’t
crippled him. He used to respect him, but no more. He tells Sullivan to step
off, because he’s looking at the new man. Woman warns Benoit that she knows Sullivan
better than anyone, and he won’t be coming alone. She vows to stay beside him
the whole way. “That’s why you’re one of the Horsemen Nancy, because you’re my
ace in the hole.” Nope, you’re not the only one who’s getting a little uneasy.
We close off replaying
Hogan’s masturbation session from Monday. Tony says that Bischoff has been
working around the clock to sign Hogan vs. Piper as the “match of the decade”.
Will it happen? Tony urges us to tune into Nitro.
But what if I’d prefer to
tune into Worldwide? THEN WHAT?
Rants →

BoD Saturday Night Thread

9th November 2014 by Scott Keith

On tap for tonight:

The UFC is on tonight at 8pm EST on Fox Sports 2 then at 10:30pm EST over on Fox Sports 1.

College Football continues on tonight with several big games on TV. They include:

7:00pm EST: #18 UCLA vs. Washington on Fox Sports 1
7:15pm EST: Lousiville vs. Boston College on ESPN 2
7:30pm EST: #7 Kansas St. vs. #6 TCU on Fox
8:00pm EST: #5 Alabama vs. #16 LSU on CBS
8:00pm EST: #14 Ohio St. vs. #8 Michigan St. on ABC
10:00pm EST: #4 Oregon vs. #17 Utah on ESPN

In the NBA, there are seven games remaining to be played with the New Orleans Pelicans vs. San Antonio Spurs at 8:30pm EST on NBA TV.

The NHL has 12 games on the schedule today with Minnesota Wild vs. Montreal Canadiens at 7:00pm EST on the NHL Network.

Boxing is on HBO tonight with Bernard Hopkins facing Sergey Kovalev in a Light Heavyweight Championship match that starts at 10:45pm EST.

And the Raven Volume 1 shoot interview won the poll with 68% of the vote and that recap will be posted Thursday at noon.

If you haven’t voted yet today in the Place to be Nation’s “Greatest Song of the 90’s” tournament, make sure to do so by clicking on the link below to check out the songs in Group E

http://placetobenation.com/ptbns-greatest-song-of-the-90s-tournament-pool-round-one-group-e/

Rants →

WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event November 29th, 1986

5th November 2014 by Scott Keith

November 29, 1986

From the Sports Arena in Los Angeles, CA

Your hosts are Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Vince McMahon

Tonight, Randy Savage defends his Intercontinental Title against Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Also, Koko B. Ware takes on Nikolai Volkoff, Hart Foundation take on the Killer Bees,and Roddy Piper takes on Cowboy Bob Orton. And Hulk Hogan puts up the WWF Heavyweight Title against Hercules.

WWF Intercontinental Title Match
Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. Randy “Macho Man” Savage (Champion) w/ Elizabeth

Savage was great in his preshow promo, telling Elizabeth to shut up and polish his belt. Jake cut an impressive promo himself. The crowd is amped for Roberts, even starting a “DDT” chant. Roberts intimidates both Savage and Elizabeth with the snake before the match. They start off playing mindgames as Savage slips out of a DDT attempt and ducks outside and Roberts chases him around until they wind up back in the ring. Savage traps Roberts in the corner and hammers away, getting a nearfall in the process. He tries to put Roberts a few more times and fails. Roberts fights back but Savage grabs his hairs then ties him up in the ropes as they go to break. When they come back, Roberts breaks free then knees Savage through the ropes. He goes out and grabs the snake bag then comes back in and hits Savage with a short-armed clothesline that gets two as Savage got his foot on the ropes. The camera shows a worried Elizabeth as Roberts teases a DDT and hits a gordbuster instead and Savage once again breaks the count by getting his foot on the ropes. The fans are really into Roberts. Roberts knocks down Savage then tries for the DDT again but Savage is able to hook on to the ropes and duck outside. Roberts goes outside and Savage uses Elizabeth as a shield then attacks Jake from behind. He heads up top and hits Jake with a double axe handle. Back inside, Savage gets a nearfall with another double axe handle. He heads up top again but Roberts catches him with a shot to the face. Roberts yanks Savage to the floor and roughs him up before rolling him back inside. Savage knees Roberts and fires away then shoves referee Dave Hebner when he tries to intervene. Roberts takes the advantage and also shoves the ref as he tries to break things up as the ref rings the bell and rules the match a double DQ (9:30) ***1/2. After the match, Savage grabs a chair then Roberts gets his snake and chases him away.

Thoughts: Great stuff. These two had the crowd in the palm of their hands the entire time. It also showed just how popular Jake was, even as a heel, and his face turn would happen shortly.



WWF Heavyweight Championship Match
Hercules w/ Bobby Heenan vs. Hulk Hogan (Champion)

They battle over a test of strength until Hercules breaks that up by ramming Hogan’s chest. He slugs away in the corner but Hogan reverses an Irish whip and hits Hercules with a corner clothesline. Hercules ducks a clothesline but Hogan catches him with a high knee. Heenan runs up on the apron and Hogan chases him around for a bit. Back inside, Hogan boots down Hercules before hitting a slam but misses an elbow drop as Hercules takes control. He sends Hogan into the corner and targets the back then puts him in the backbreaker as Jesse on commentary is yelling how he heard Hogan say that he quit. Hercules drops Hogan down and acts as if he has won but referee Dave Hebner tells him that he did not as Jesse loses his mind on commentary. Hercules covers and gets two as Hogan hulks up immediately and unloads on Hercules. He rams his head off of the turnbuckle ten times then chops him down before hitting the big boot then getting the win with a leg drop (6:30) *1/4.

Thoughts: Fine for what it was as they got Hercules over more than he was before this and seeing Hogan defend the belt on TV was a must-see event among WWF fans so that was cool. The finish here (hulking up after kicking out of a pin then big boot/leg drop) made it’s debut on a National level in this match I believe.



Ventura is shown at a restaurant interviewing Bob Orton and Jimmy Hart. He asks Orton about being Piper’s best friend as Orton says that Piper stole all the glory and says that he does not have any friends now as this leads to Vince introducing us to a video package of the Orton/Piper friendship set to the Clearance Clemons & Jackson Browne tune “You’re a Friend of Mine.” It was a great video.

“Cowboy” Bob Orton w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Muraco comes out wearing a kilt to stand in Orton’s corner but the referee sends him to the back as you see agent Chief Jay Strongbow escort him back. In the ring, Piper wins a slugfest then takes him down with a bulldog. Orton backs away and begs for mercy but Piper bites his forehead then sends him into the corner. Piper gets two off of a kneelift but ducks his head and Orton takes him down with an uppercut. He hits a gutbuster and a fist drop that gets two. Orton misses an elbow drop then but Hart grabs Piper. Orton stops short after Piper escaped but gets knocked into Hart then Piper rolls him up for the win (3:48) *.

Thoughts: Basic match. With Adonis back, the WWF had little use for Orton and he began his sharp decline down the card until leaving in the middle of next year.

Mean Gene is backstage with Piper and asks him about being on his own and not out to win “popularity contest” as Piper brags about getting revenge on Orton and calls out Muraco and Adonis after that. They were slowly turning Piper into a traditional babyface role with this as the first step.

Killer Bees vs. Hart Foundation

The Bees start the match working over Brett as we get an insert promo of the Bees being interviewed wearing their masks trying to confuse Okerlund. Neidhart tags and the Bees take him down with a double elbow smash. Brett knees Brunzell in the back from the apron as the Hart Foundation take control. Neidhart dropkicks Brunzell then applies a chinlock. Brett tags and hammers away as the Hart Foundation continues to cut off the ring. Back from break, Brunzell gets two with a sunset flip but Brett knocks him down then tags Neidhart. The Hart Foundation continue to work Brunzell until he dropkicks Brett. Brunzell makes the tag but the referee did not see it and orders Blair back to the apron as Neidhart knocks him down. The Bees go underneath the ring and get their masks as Blair is in the ring and cleans house. He puts Neidhart in a sleeper but Brett breaks it up with an attack from behind but Brunzell sneaks in and plays possum then is able to catch Brett in a small package for the win (9:00) **1/2.

Thoughts: Solid match. I have seen better from these two but still fun. The announcers all but called this a number one contender match too as it was seen as a huge win for the Bees.



Nikolai Volkoff w/ Slick vs. Koko B. Ware

Volkoff attacks Koko as Slick distracted the referee. Volkoff hammers away in the corner but Koko dodges a charge and punches away. He hits Volkoff with some odd-looking hurricarana then follows that with a pair of dropkicks for a nearfall. Volkoff takes control and hits a slam but misses a kneedrop. Koko hits him with a missile dropkick for two. Volkoff knees him in the face and hits him with his backbreaker but picks Koko back up after two and goes over to Slick for advice but that allows Koko to get up and knock him into Slick and roll up Volkoff for the win (2:30) 1/2*.

Thoughts: A cheap win that continues Koko’s midcard push and keeps Volkoff relatively strong. Really not much more to say other than that.



In the locker room, Okerlund is with Hogan. He asks him about Ventura pointing out weaknesses in his match tonight as Hogan talks about the power of Hulkamania.

“The Rebel” Dick Slater vs. Don Muraco w/ Mr. Fuji

Fuji sings “Dixieland” in a prematch promo that makes me laugh. Muraco knocks down Slater and sends him into the corner. Slater slips out of a fireman’s carry then knocks down Muraco. He hits a few elbow smashes then climbs up top for an elbow smash but Fuji puts Muraco’s foot on the ropes to break the count. Fuji then trips up Slater but Muraco misses an elbow drop. Muraco then hits a poor excuse of a clothesline to get the win (2:12) DUD.

Thoughts: These two were just going through the motions as Muraco had become increasingly lazy and bloated and Slater was a step above a TV jobber as he was failing in his role. Well, he was terribly miscast anyway. Slater would not be here much longer as he was gone just before WrestleMania III.

Final Thoughts: A really good show. The opener was great and the tag match was fun. The Heavyweight title bout was solid and for the Piper fans, you got to see him get revenge on Orton. Sure, the final two matches were nothing much but that was expected with these shows.

Here is the rest of my schedule

Thursday: YouShoot with Teddy Long
Friday: WWF Wrestling Challenge 11/30/86
Saturday: RoH Retribution: Round Robin Challenge Two 4/26/03
Sunday: WWF Superstars of Wrestling 12/6/86
Tuesday: WWF Wrestling Challenge 12/7/86



Rants →

WCW Saturday Night: October 26, 1996

2nd November 2014 by Scott Keith
joedust writes: They really booked an angle
where Savage no-showed a match against a fat jobber to sell Halloween Havoc? Oh
boy.
I wouldn’t call Benoit a
fat … oh, you meant Road Block! How dare you. Road Block is one of the finest
wrestling specimens we’ve ever laid eyes on. Quite frankly, Randy Savage should
be thanking his fine judgment for having skipped this one. Earthquake’s attack
on Hogan in 1990 would have paled in comparison to what Road Block had in store
for Mach.
WaylonMercy2K4: Seriously, somebody won a
match with a vertical suplex in 1996? Did Southern States Wrestling travel back
in time and invade WCW Saturday Night?
I called it incorrectly.
It was in fact a vertical soufflé.
AdamDoling: Chris, I just want to echo the
sentiments of others and say that you do a really great job with these various
recaps. Although there have been a few people already to recap WCW shows from
this time period, I think your writing is among the most interesting in terms
of these recaps.
I actually went to your site and read every review
beginning with January ’96 until the present ones. Your sense of humor and wit
come through in your writing, and it makes me feel like I’m right back watching
these shows (especially your recaps of early NWO storyline).
Just wanted to say great job again and thanks for
taking the time to recap these shows. I truly think you do one of the best jobs
of capturing the moment with your recaps.
Let me assure you that
the entire reason I’ve been doing these has been a labour of love, but reading
comments like this really makes my day, even if AdamDoling is secretly my mother’s
online handle. Truthfully, I never wanted to become a WWE convert, but was
forced to grudgingly jump ship in 2000 due to the severe decline in quality
from a company I was once proud of. All these years later, I still have lots of
warm memories of WCW, and while some haven’t quite lived up to my expectations
(a lot of the nWo BOOKING has rubbed me the wrong way, WCW simply isn’t getting
a fair shake, and a lot of the long term problems with the uppercard they developed
were already apparent as early as these 1996 shows), there’s been a lot of surprises
(like suddenly being blessed with the fact the Faces of Fear were at one time
the best tag-team on the entire planet).
One thing I COULD do without
is being reminded about Liz/Hogan/Savage, because it’s 1996 and not 1989, but
hot damn we just whip that one out like an over enthusiastic dude at his first
porn audition. TONY SCHIAVONE and DUSTY RHODES are on it like buttah on
Big Bubber’s Thanksgiving table. You know where we WOULD have avoided this? WCW
Prime. I miss you already.

ROUGH & READY vs. HARLEM HEAT (with Sista
Sherri and Colonel Robert Parker) (in a non-title match)
No, I can’t take it
anymore! This is SETTLED! It was settled on July 15th! And August 3rd! And August 11th! And September 8th! And October 7th! And October 12th! Unless this is some sort of Best of 7 that
doesn’t end after 4 wins that WCW forgot to tell us about (and anything’s
possible with this company), there is literally no reason for these teams to
have fought 7 times in the last 100 days. NICK
PATRICK is your referee, still in neck brace. I hope he’s undergoing regular
check-ups and some sort of therapy, because the length of this injury is
getting seriously troublesome and I’m concerned about his well-being. I love
that WCW declared that Harlem Heat wouldn’t defend their belts until Halloween
Havoc in an effort to keep the champs as fresh as possible, and then promptly
booked them in a non-stop series of non-title matches. Even Tony brings this
up, noting how great it is WCW is behind Harlem Heat. THIS IS WHY THE NWO IS
KILLING YOU. Mike Enos gives Booker a back breaker, and launches his with an
overhead belly to belly suplex. Booker comes right back with a Harlem sidekick,
and gets 2. Parker and Sherri share tender moments outside of the ring, while
Stevie hits a bicycle kick I think he went to the well a little early there,
because he’s officially out of moves. Thankfully, Booker’s a stud, and nails
the axe kick. Sidewalk slam sets up a second rope kneedrop, but Enos rolls
away. A powerslam is all Enos needs to tag in Slater, and he’s punching
everyone! Russian legsweep on Booker connects, but Parker’s all up in Patrick’s
business. Stevie can’t help matters, so now Sherri hits the ring and Patrick
runs the other way intentionally trying to keep his eyes averted from any
cheating at all. Slater chases Sherri to the outside, as this spills into the
ring Patrick has no choice but to throw it all out at 6:25, giving a DQ win to Rough & Ready. Holy hell, the
impossible has happened. We’ll need at least another 10 matches to determine
which team is better moving forward. Nick Patrick makes sure to tell all the
haters that he did the right thing. *1/2
TONY SCHIAVONE meets with the quartet of dysfunction in the back. Sherri screams
that they need to stay focused. Booker declares tomorrow night’s just business,
cuz they the meanest. Stevie tells everyone in an nWo shirt that they needs to
watch they stinky asses. Something tells me the nWo isn’t too concerned about a
team that can’t beat Blake Beverly.
ROAD BLOCK vs. JEFF JARRETT
RIP Jeff Jarrett, it’s
been an awful 2 weeks, we won’t miss you. Jarrett ducks a big meaty swing, and
hits a drop toe hold, making him STRUT. Road Block doesn’t take kindly to that,
and chokes a bitch. Somehow Jarrett gets out and faceplants the big man,
ordering the Giant to look. Road Block tries to sit on Jarrett, but misses.
Avalanche splash misses, and Jarrett hits a leaping clothesline off the second
rope. A series of leaping punches rocks Road Block, and a top rope crossbody
gets 2. Road Block throws an elbow to Jarrett’s face, and I wishfully hope for
an explosion on impact. The big man goes up – holy crap – and dives with a big
splash but he misses! Jarrett hits a suplex, and applies the Figure Four for
the win at 3:51. What the shit was
that? We’re seeing the greatest big man in wrestling history, and he’s jobbing
to Jeff Jarrett on the B-shows? Not impressed WCW, not one bit. **
TONY SCHIAVONE excitedly tells Jeff Jarrett he’s become something of a Giant
killer. Jeff says getting Flair’s personal endorsement made tomorrow’s match
the most important of his life, and after tomorrow everyone will know he’s the
smartest wrestler in the world. Even the canned heat is rightfully booing him
at this point.
EDDIE GUERRERO vs. MR. JL
Eddie takes down JL,
while Dusty starts imitating tomorrow’s announcement he can’t wait for, “THE
NEW WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS, RANDY SAVAGE!” That would cause a bit of a
re-shuffling of the card, and defeat the purpose of a “tag-team title”, but
what the hell, I’m on board. The lads brawl to the outside, where JL slams
Eddie spine first into the ring post. Back in, Eddie hits a tilt-a-whirl
backbreaker, so I guess that ring post did nothing to ruin his day. A European
uppercut floors JL, but he recovers enough to hit a desperation clothesline.
Both guys fight to the top rope, and Eddie wins that war with a superplex. Frog
Splash finishes at 4:52. *1/2
DEAN MALENKO (with Rey Mysterio Jr’s mask) vs.
ALEX WRIGHT
Here’s another match
we’ve seen far too many times. NICK
PATRICK referees, and is practically immobile at this point. Wright takes
the early advantage, but a slingshot splash is blocked with the knees, and
Malenko takes over. Deano puts on the Lasso from El Paso, and moves to a half
crab. The hold is released, and Malenko hits a standing vertical suplex for 2.
Powerbomb sets up a camel clutch, as Malenko’s desperately trying to cling to
his “man of a thousand holds” nickname. Side suplex gets 2. Wright fires
himself up at this point, and hammers in a series of European uppercuts, but he
is NOT Dave Taylor and he cannot finish. Malenko comes off the top, but Wright
rolls though. Nick Patrick is far too injured to count fast enough though, and
Malenko kicks out at about 8. The Oklahoma roll from Malenko is of no surprise
seconds later, and he wins at 4:52,
which seems to be the preferred match time tonight. **
TONY SCHIAVONE grabs Dean to talk about tomorrow night’s Cruiserweight title match.
Malenko wants no more hype or talking, just a match and a winner. He will not
leave empty handed.
THE CHEETAH KID vs. JIMMY GRAFFITI
I’m cool with this. Jimmy
clotheslines the Cheetah Iaukea, and hits a slingshot karate chop. A catapult
across the bottom rope should cut off a little circulation, but the Cheetah
comes back with a dropkick for 2. He misses a second attempt, and Graffiti hits
a senton off the top for the win at 2:42.
“First time at the pay windah!” Indeed. *
SERGEANT CRAIG PITTMAN (with Teddy Long) vs. CHRIS
BENOIT
It’s the night of
rematches from hell tonight, as here’s another duo that never seems to click. NICK PATRICK is once again assigned to
this one. We start with a little mat wrestling, before Benoit changes things
with a dropkick to the back of the knee. He attacks like Jian Ghomeshi with a
hard-on, and tries to turn it into dust. Fans chant USA, as Benoit hits a
single leg atomic drop. Pittman turns the attack and puts on the Code Red, but
Patrick hurts his neck and can’t watch. Teddy Long takes off his jacket, having
just about enough of this stuff. Pittman releases the hold, and starts
screaming at Teddy he’s been in his way all along, and as Teddy plays innocent,
Benoit hits a Dragon Suplex for the super fast pin at 5:15. ** Teddy backs Patrick into the corner, and screams bloody
murder at him.
Benoit meets up with TONY SCHIAVONE to talk Dungeon of Doom.
Since Benoit joined the Horsemen, the Dungeon has tried to destroy them,
unsuccessfully. Horsemen are forever, and he’ll tell them how it is at
Halloween Havoc. He hopes Kevin Sullivan remembers how much pain he’s put him
through in the past. (Hah, just wait!)
Meanwhile, over nWo
Saturday Night, we move to the 3rd round of the tag-team tournament.
“TUFF” TONY “THE TIGER” WASHBERG
Height: 6’6”
Weight: 299 lbs.
Reach: 38”
Fist: 18”
Hometown: Robbinsdale,
Minnesota
Pro Record: 59-18
Peco Golden Grappler Tag
Team Winners
Boxing Champ of the Pipe
Fitters of Minnesota
BUD “SMOKEY” GREENE
Height: 6’4”
Weight: 225 lbs.
Reach: 37”
Fist: 17”
Hometown: Robbinsdale,
Minnesota
Pro Record: 29-6
Winner of Michigan’s Bob
Seger look-a-like contest 1978
Peco Golden Grappler Tag
Team Winners
Your ring announcer
tonight is NUMBER SIX. The masked DOCTOR X is still your referee.
TONY WASHBERG and BUD GREENE vs. THE OUTSIDERS
Once again, Nash works
the commentary from the ring apron. Scott Hall hits a fallaway slam, or “SOS”,
as Nash yuks it up. Both guys tag out, as Hall takes over the stick. Nash
pounds away, while Hall talks about how crisp the Outsiders look heading into
their match with the Houston area hillbillies, Harlem Heat. Nash hits the sidewalk
slam, AKA “spinning jumping salto”. Back to Hall, who throws a number of knife
edges, follows with the “high body beale!” The Outsiders Edge finishes Bob
Seger off. The referee declares the Outsiders your victors, sounding much like
Nick Patrick but without the neck brace it’s clear he’s not.
HIGH VOLTAGE vs. THE FACES OF FEAR (with Jimmy
Hart)
Rage hits a whole lot of
moves on Meng, who just stands there laughing in his face! Voltage tries a
tag-team sunset flip, but Meng ducks the clothesline from Kaos. Unfortunately,
Kaos hits him on the other side, but that does little because Meng pops up and
slams Rage. In comes the Barbarian, who turns Rage’s springboard senton into a
powerbomb! A backbreaker sets up the clubberin’! Back to Meng, who hits a sunset
flip, but Rage punches out and tags in Kaos. However, Meng just powerbombs him
while Barbarian hits the Kick of Fear MID-MOVE for the super easy pin at 3:30. Barbarian beats up Rage some more
for the hell of it. **1/2
TONY SCHIAVONE meets with the Dungeon guys, against his will. Hart mocks Flair’s
dangling shoulder, with Anderson’s tied up with Luger. That leaves Benoit, and
Steve “I want to be a wrestler” McMichael against the Faces of Fear. Debra is
named the world’s oldest cheerleader (yes!), and Hart turns things over to
Meng. He says a lot of strong words that I will choose not to repeat, and
Barbarian tosses in a few wild and savage threats of his own. My wife is
concerned my love of these guys may have surpassed my feelings towards her; and
she might not be far off.
Closing the show, Tony
grabs ARN ANDERSON. Anderson
re-affirms Liz’s departure from the Horsemen for about the 8th week
in a row. He doesn’t know if Liz, Hogan, or the Horsemen drove Savage crazy, or
whether he’s just crazy, but he needs to deal with his life on a real personal
basis. Regarding Luger, he wants no excuses, and now it’s time for Lex to meet
his demon head on. He vows somebody’s gonna get hurt, and runs the knife across
his throat. There’s your final sell!
I guess that means Benoit
won’t be getting his rightful title shot. Shame on you, WCW.
Rants →

BoD Saturday Night Thread

1st November 2014 by Scott Keith

Lots of stuff going on tonight:

College Football continues tonight, highlighted by #3 Auburn vs. #4 Mississippi at 7:00pm EST on ESPN

The NBA is in action with 12 games tonight. On NBA TV, the Chicago Bulls vs. Minnesota T’Wolves will be on at 8:00pm EST and at 10:30pm EST, the Los Angeles Lakers will take on the Golden State Warriors.

In the NHL, there are 13 games tonight with the Chicago Blackhawks vs. Toronto Maple Leafs at 7:00pm EST on the NHL Network

For those looking for wrestling tonight, Dragon Gate has an iPPV that can be viewed at http://www.nicovideo.jp/

And Invicta on Fight Pass will air at 9:00pm EST

Boxing returns to Showtime with a Light Heavyweight Division Main Event of Andrzej Fonfara going up against Doudou Ngumbu

Saturday Night Live is all new at 11:29pm EST with former cast member Chris Rock returning to host with Prince as the musical guest.

And instead of a shoot interview poll, I have decided that I will review the brand new Teddy Long YouShoot this Thursday. The shoot will be released on Tuesday.

Rants →