Rick Rude, Ultimate Warrior & Chris Masters were all “Physique Guys”, but none of them could have ACTUALLY won Mr. Universe. Atlas… actually could have. His “Mr. USA” nickname was actually a shoot- he really won that competition (thrice!).

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time- a request, as The Incredible Hulk Hogan takes on “Mr. USA” Tony Atlas in two different matches in 1981! This is a heel Hulk Hogan and Atlas, one of the most authentically “Mr. Universe”-ready wrestlers of all time. I’ve never seen Atlas in his athletic prime, so here I’ll see if he’s any good (um… haha)!

Also up is another part of the legendary “Tape Trading For Sabu” series, as he takes on Chris Candido again in a Ladder Match! WrestleMania X saw an ass-ton of Ladder Matches in its wake and this was… one of them. Then it’s more Well Dunn goodness, as they team up with BLAKE BEVERLY to take on Tatanka & The Steiner Brothers! Yeah, early in their run, they’re set up to die by teaming with a solo tag wrestler against actually pushed acts. And finally, I throw in Papa Shango vs. The Repo Man in a rare Heel vs. Heel featured match on WWF TV!

THE INCREDIBLE HULK HOGAN (w/ Classy Freddie Blassie) vs. “MR. USA” TONY ATLAS:
(March 16th 1981)
* This is a feud from the 1981 run of Hulk Hogan in the WWF, back when he was a smirking heel under Blassie. In a separate YouTube video, Atlas gives a good, if stumbly, “humble babyface” promo where he talks about how he loves working out, but wrestling is more than big muscles and you have to know your way around the ring, then Vince badgers him into posing to show off said big muscles. He indeed has monstrous arms and a huge chest, with a pretty small (if under-toned) waist. Skips leg day, though. But in comes Hogan & Blassie- Hogan, in a much less gravelly voice than I’m used to, talks down the physique of “this brown clown right here”, then repeatedly tells the “boy” that he can’t even shine his shoes- Tony shoves him back, proclaiming “My momma didn’t raise no BOY- she raised a 6’2″ 250-lb. MAN!” and it’s on.

Boy, I hope you guys like Well Dunn, because I went on a tear of YouTube clips featuring the lowest-tier heel team in WWF history! My god, they faced the Blus, Headshrinkers, and did all sorts of trios matches! This column will be a veritable “Best of Well Dunn”! I bet you can’t WAIT!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I fill this one with a handful of oddities today, as we get an ever-rare “Bret & Owen Hart in a tag team” match, as they dress like a real tag team and take on an actual team in the bottom-tier Well Dunn shortly before the “Hart Brothers vs. Not-Jerry Lawler and His Knights” Survivor Series match!

After that, it’s a follow-up to last week’s column, as Terry Funk & Stan Hansen meet each other again, this time with Dory Funk Jr. backing up his brother and Terry Gordy backing up Stan! Then it’s something that’s apparently an old tape-trader classic, as the “Gotta get all the Sabu matches we can find!” days saw a lot of Sabu vs. Chris Candido matches on fancams! Oh, and I didn’t want this to be only three matches long, so I stick in a WCW Prime jobber match- “Dirty” Dick Slater & Bunkhouse Buck vs. Los Especialistas! I was hoping they’d be some interesting Luchadores… but no.

BRET & OWEN HART vs. WELL DUNN (Timothy Well & Steven Dunn, w/ Harvey Whippleman):
(WWF Wrestling Challenge, Nov 14th 1993)
* Hahahaha HELL YES, couldn’t find Harts vs. Steiners on YouTube, but I have THIS! Well Dunn were two indie tag guys just slapped in singlets with goofy thongs over top and thrown out there to die as a “Fake Featured” tag team that just jobbed to all the top ones. I didn’t realize they’d been fed to the Harts. They’re in black singlets & purple thongs this week, and hey, wasn’t Well in better shape? He looks pasty and with no physique here. Of more interest is the Hart Brothers’ matching outfits- Bret’s in all pink (his regular look temporarily) and Owen’s in all BLUE, dropping his parachute pants and lacking the black singlet he’d later wear for the rest of his life. For “Gear Nerds” like me, that’s a very unique look, especially as a duo.

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Featuring a very rare “Sabu in WCW” match!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have some classic WCW stuff, including a bout featuring that very weird cup of coffee SABU of all people had with the company in 1995! I always remember reading about it, but had never seen it.

We start off, however, with a classic Steiner Brothers match shortly before their break-up, as they take on Mortis & Wrath on WCW Saturday Night! Then it’s Sabu vs. Harry Dean Baker on WCW Prime (a show I don’t remember existing)… followed by the SUPER SHOCKMASTER, who was a brief attempt at saving the “Shockmaster” gimmick by repackaging Fred Ottman as a nasty heel. It did not work.

Following that, it’s the battle of the failed 1991 WWF gimmicks as The Dragon (Ricky Steamboat) battles Col. Mustafa (the Iron Sheik)! And finally it’s a late-stage WCW bout as my Sean O’Haire watching continues, with him & Chuck Palumbo taking on Lance Storm & Mike Awesome!

THE STEINER BROTHERS (Rick & Scott, w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. MORTIS & WRATH (w/ James Vandenberg):
(WCW Saturday Night, Nov. 1st 1997)
* A potentially good match, but on Saturday Night it’s always iffy if you’re gonna see any kind of effort. A solid two minutes is just the heels’ walk to the ring (keep in mind the aisle is like 30 feet long). It’s a weird era for the Steiners, as Scott is INCREDIBLY juiced to his Big Poppa Pump levels, but still has long black hair… but an evil parallel universe goatee and a shiny black singlet.

Another Dream Matches column this week, mostly because I FINALLY got to this match, and it’s pretty long so could be its own review… but I figured I’d toss some of the weirder “Dumpster Fire” Saturday Night matches onto it just for the hell of it. And also because I’ve had them finished for ages but couldn’t think of a column that needed room to fit a match as huge as Jim Neidhart vs. Roadblock or a superteam like Mike Enos/Chris Adams on it.

LADDER MATCH:
NWA INDEPENDENT WORLD TITLE:
AL SNOW vs. SABU:
(Indie Fancam, July 23rd 1994)
* This is another in the endless Snow/Sabu Indie Tape Trader series, with them ripping off the Ladder Match concept only months after WrestleMania X. This is back when a shot from a CHAIR was a game-changer, so ladder shots were like nuclear weapons in the Shawn/Razor bout, mind you. I can only assume that every indie on Earth started using “Ladder Matches” to sell tickets around this point, but I wasn’t a tape trader so I’m not sure. Anyone familiar with that era?

Al comes down to the song they always play at sports arenas- it’s literally on YouTube as “The Hey Song” but is I guess “Rock & Roll Part 2” by noted kiddy-diddler Gary Glitter. Al’s in blue trunks looking like a total goober again, and Sabu’s in shiny silver pants. The belt up for grabs is the NWA Independent “World” Title- a belt invented solely for Sabu to defend on his travelling indie tours- a pretty smart gimmick, really. It looks like they just use half a hockey rink as their “arena” here, cutting it in half with curtains. This match looks excruciatingly long going by YouTube, but I’ve had this on my docket for like six months, so let’s finally get to it!

Paul Orndorff was in his 40s in WCW, but it’s still weird to me he has crossover with guys I associate with the late ’90s, like Disco.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have one of those crazy matches where you realize that ’80s star Paul Orndorff had crossover with late ’90s WCW comedy act Disco Inferno. Two separate squash matches from 1995, in fact! I’ll also take a look at another one of the Al Snow/Sabu indie wrestling series, plus the monster Meng vs. Saturday Night stalwart, Roadblock!

Oh, and you want an all-time “I can’t believe we were lucky enough to see that” Dream Match? Come check out MEAN MIKE of Disorderly Conduct against LIGHTNING FOOT Jerry Flynn! Then what’s advertised as a “HOT MUSCLE MATCH!” on YouTube, between Scott Steiner and rookie bodybuilder Chase Tatum. And we end things with future New Japan Ace, Yuji Nagata vs. the Chairman of WCW, La Parka! So it’s mostly a WCW-inspired one tonight, but then they always WERE the best source of weirdo disparate matches.

“MR. WONDERFUL” PAUL ORNDORFF vs. DISCO INFERNO:
(WCW Nitro, Dec. 12th 1995)
* Yes, Mr. Wonderful & Disco Inferno had some crossover. This is nuts to me, but indeed Paul lasted a while until his career faded away. Disco’s in white bell-bottoms (with a full Tony Manero pre-match outfit) and Paul’s in white trunks. He’s coming out to what sounds like the anthem for Anvilania in “Animaniacs” and looking in a mirror. When the voice gets REALLY high, Heenan declares that Gene Okerlund recorded this while sitting on a 40-lb. block of ice.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 25, 2007
Host: Todd Grisham

This week, the Chris Benoit Tribute Show aired, but then the details started to come out, meaning Benoit’s place in wrestling was completely changed. When Raw aired later in other markets, a Best Of show was shown instead. For the sake of completion, I’ll be looking at it to, so let’s get to it.

Welcome back for more Dream Matches! This time, we take a look at the match that lit up the American Indies for a year or so and made Tape Traders a ton of money that was soon blown on other tapes: Sabu vs. Al Snow! One of a bunch of times they fought! Also, fans of Ice Train will revel in the fact that I just can’t get enough of his short WCW D-show matches, as he takes on MAXX!

Plus we’ll see the time the not at all petty WWE shared a match on Instagram where Britt Baker played a jobber against Nia Jax- COMPLETE COINCIDENTALLY showing it just as she was set to win the AEW Women’s Title! oh also, I’ve now become obsessed with the bizarre run Tracy Smothers had in 1996, playing “Aw Shucks” rookie Freddie Joe Floyd, wrestling two matches against Bradshaw that badly damaged BOTH guys!

NO RULES (I guess?):
SABU (w/ Damien 666) vs. AL SNOW:
(Some Indie Fancam)
* So I’ve always heard that Sabu was just THE SHIT if you were a 1994-96 Tape Trader- he was one of the most talked-about guys in the business, slowly building an indie legend through word of mouth and insane stuntshow matches. ECW hit on this and Paul E. naturally knew EXACTLY how to push the guy. And apparently a lot of those big matches of his that built the legend were against “Good Hand” worker Al Snow. They wrestled a bunch (CageMatch has 3-4 matches as far as I can tell), and this is undated on YouTube. Sabu’s in green shiny Prince of Persia pants and Al’s in plain blue trunks like a jobber goof. I dunno why Damien 666 is managing Sabu. And oh my god this mat is FILTHY. Like threadbare and with a giant black stain.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This time I hit a request from a couple weeks back, as the Hardy Boyz (then indie darlings and not WWF superstars yet) take on Sabu & Rob Van Dam in a one-time-only match! Then we get an amazing HOSS MATCH as the Steiner Brothers and Fire & Ice just got buckwild and murder each other with suplexes for six minutes on Nitro. Then it’s Andre the Giant & Giant Baba taking on Terry & Dory Funk in All Japan from 1990! And then I torture you all by featuring the No-Limit Soldiers (B.A. & Swoll) vs. Lenny & Lodi doing an offensive gay gimmick from the dying days of WCW! Finally we end with a “Dream Matches” MVP, Roadblock, taking on one of the Texas Hangmen (maybe the Disorderly Conduct guy!). Read on!

TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH:
SABU & ROB VAN DAM (w/ Bill Alfonso) vs. THE HARDY BOYZ (Matt & Jeff Hardy):
(All Star Wrestling NWA Legends Show, Feb. 11th 1998)
* Okay, huh? I’ve never heard of this, but it’s before the Hardys meant anything, as they were merely respected job guys at this point in the WWF, with their own spotfest indie promotion (OMEGA). It would be Sept. 1998 when they properly debuted as “featured” guys in the WWF, after being trained by Dory Funk Jr. for a bit. This is some All Star Wrestling show in Greenville, North Carolina. RVD was still with ECW at this point, and Sabu was suspended around this time (might be later). The camera work here is… not great. Very grainy, pixelated and stuck in one corner. Sabu’s in orange, RVD’s in light tights (I can’t tell the color), and the Hardys are in matching checkerboard baggy pants.

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: May 1, 2007
Location: BJCC, Birmingham, Alabama
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Things changed again last week as CM Punk turned on the New Breed almost immediately after joining them. That certainly makes things more interesting, but it also makes Punk that much bigger of a star. If he isn’t a bigger deal than Rob Van Dam just yet, it isn’t going to be long. Oh and in a minor note: Vince McMahon is the new ECW World Champion. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: April 3, 2007
Location: Allen County War Memorial, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are done with Wrestlemania and ECW actually had more than a bit of a presence. Not only did ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley take out Umaga so Vince McMahon could be shaved bald, but the ECW Originals beat the New Breed in the big eight man tag. Neither seems to be over though so let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: March 20, 2007
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are just about to Wrestlemania and even ECW is picking up a lot. This time we are going to be seeing more from ECW Champion Bobby Lashley, which means there might be some guest stars coming after him. That could help things out a lot, and the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed should be enough to keep things going. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: March 13, 2007
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Wrestlemania is on the way and ECW will actually be doing something on the show. Not only will CM Punk be in Money in the Bank, but we get the big eight man tag between the New Breed and the ECW Originals. That alone should be more than enough to carry ECW TV, but this week gets a bonus with a special appearance by Mick Foley. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: February 27, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,511
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

The big stories continue to be Bobby Lashley and the ECW Title, plus the New Breed vs. the ECW Originals. Both stories are likely to get a lot of time this week, though Vince McMahon showing up to deal with Lashley should tell you what the focus of this show should be. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: February 13, 2007
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s officially the Snitsky Era as he not only debuted but also attacked ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley last week. I’m not sure what that means for the future of the title, but if Snitsky is as good as they can get, it seems like there might be some trouble. Maybe the rest of the show….never mind. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 30, 2007
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 15,156
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and the big story around here is Bobby Lashley beating Test (again), this time via countout. That isn’t much to go on, but there is something more important around here as Vince McMahon is bringing his Fan Appreciation Night here as well. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 23, 2007
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and Bobby Lashley still needs a challenger for his ECW World Title. That would seem to be Test, but the match needs to be set already. Other than that, I’m not sure how much almost anything else matters around here, and ECW has not done much to fix that situation. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 2, 2007
Location: Lakeland Center, Lakeland, Florida
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for the new year and I’m curious to see how this one goes compared to the first. To say that ECW is in a weird place at the moment is an understatement, as the only people who really matter are facing each other tonight, as Rob Van Dam challenges Bobby Lashley for the ECW Title. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 26, 2006
Hosts: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time to wrap up the year and since this is the day after Christmas, that means a Best Of show, which is about all you could do in this situation. ECW came back in June and things have been hit or miss since then, but there have been enough positives to make for a nice hour of stuff. Let’s get to it.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 19, 2006
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re almost done with the year and I’m not sure what that is going to mean for this week. Last week’s show felt like a total throw away episode, but I’m curious about how much of that was over the big shakeup behind the scenes. Hopefully they don’t wait until the new year to fix things up. Let’s get to it.