Macho Man

The legendary Jimmy Graffiti, the finest gimmick of “Gigolo” Jimmy Del Ray.

This week in the “Dream Matches”, here’s the most disappointing match between two all-time great workers possible! Plus Shawn Michaels trying to crawl up the WWF card in 1992 against the Texas Tornado! One of those matches only WCW could have, featuring Jimmy Del Ray as a rebellious young street tagger and Prince Nakamaki in a cheap Tiger Mask outfit! Oh, and New Japan legendary asshole Shinjiro Otani fights Jerry Lynn in his Luchadore/Power Rangers ripoff gear!

“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE vs. “STUNNING” STEVE AUSTIN (w/ Col. Robert Parker):
(WCW Saturday Night, 27.05.1995)
* Yes, an ultra-rare meeting between two of the greatest stars in the history of the business… passing like two ships in the night because Austin’s about to get dumped. “Stunning Steve” has a terrible receding hairline, wispy blond hair, black trunks & leather jacket, and no goatee, while Savage is in full Mega Powers colors, but with Slim Jim décor on his cowboy outfit. The winner of the match will face the winner of Ric Flair & Alex Wright. And before you get too excited and search this out, the YouTube video is only 7 minutes long and half of it’s pre-match bullshit.

Austin pokes the bear with a slap to start, and eats a back elbow and gets choked over the ropes for it. Austin goes to the eyes and brawls, but misses a flying splash (?!?) and Savage rams him into the Slim Jim post coverings (those don’t look painful at all) and the guardrail, then finishes with the Flying Elbow in the ring at (2:19). Haha, jesus christ.

Rating: * (TWO MINUTES. That’s all it got. Nice moves, as Austin was very smooth back in the day, but TWO MINUTES)

Hogan & Hansen: Main Event in the making!

WWF/AJPW/NJPW WRESTLING SUMMIT:
(Tokyo Dome, April 13th, 1990)

* This is a pretty wild and wacky card, full of the kind of “Dream Matches” you’ll never see again- I’m really shocked it’s not more famous. I mean, it’s a triple-show with All Japan, New Japan, AND the WWF all at once! In the Tokyo Dome! Apparently highlights were aired on Japanese TV, but complexities with the rights led to the full event never being shown in its entirety (which might be why it’s so obscure). The biggest matches are Hulk Hogan vs. Stan Hansen, Macho Man vs. Genichiro Tenryu, and the Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase. The WON awards declared this the “Best Major Wrestling Show” of 1990!

“TL;DR” Version: So come see Bret Hart vs. Mitsuharu Misawa in the most disappointing Dream Match of all time! Hogan with his “Japan working boots” (where he’s more “Unstoppable Monster” than the Technically-Gifted Powerhouse I was led to believe he was) on against Stan Hansen in one of his greatest matches ever! Macho King & Queen Sherri doing their schtick against a stoic top-tier Japanese legend in a befuddled Tenryu! Grumpy ol’ Jumbo Tsuruta dealing with hard-working heels in Martel & Perfect!

The show had two dark matches- Dan Kroffat, Doug Furnas & Joe Malenko beat Samson Fuyuki, Tatsumi Kitahara & Toshiaki Kawada in (11:56), and Jushin Liger beat Akira Nogami in (8:37). An extremely shaky fancam of the latter exists- it’s mostly hold-trading. They trade corner moves and Liger hits a surfboard and a rock-the-cradle. They trade flash-pins and Nogami hits a very good plancha and German Suplex for two, but Liger dropkicks him coming off the top and hits a Tope Con Hilo to the floor! He misses a roundhouse kick but gets a powerslam and finishes with a Moonsault Press. Looks **1/2-ish but holy god am I not gonna go move-for-move with such a shaky vid.

What defines “Dream Match” better than “Jorge Gonzalez versus _____”?

Welcome to more Dream Matches! Including a rarity with Giant Gonzalez actually interacting with other “name” guys. Also more “short-lived gimmicks” as The Stalker (Barry Windham) has to try and oppose the might of THE GOON! A FAT MAN STAND-OFF between Mabel and Bam Bam Bigelow! Yokozuna in New Japan taking on Riki Choshu! And did you know that Sherri Martel did a run in 1981 AJW? Now you do- watch her face Devil Masami!

All of this can be readily found on YouTube.

“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE & MR. PERFECT vs. MR. HUGHES & THE GIANT GONZALEZ (w/ Harvey Wippleman):
(17.08.1993)
* Here’s a random taped “end of the card” bout, and an AMAZINGLY weird combination, as Macho Man & Mr. Perfect team up once more to take on Giant Gonzalez near the end of his run, and Mr. Hughes, who at this point was the new guy feuding with the Undertaker (was this the first “heel steals the urn” angle? This feels like the first). Hughes is DEFINITELY not as tall as I remember- he doesn’t look much taller than either opponent. Macho’s in his AMAZING super-patriot gear with red, white & blue, while Perfect’s in black & orange, and the heels are in their usual- airbrushed muscles (Gonzalez) and the sharp suit (Hughes).