High Energy

So with the sad news of Lanny Poffo’s passing, a couple people recommended I review Hogan/Genius, given it was Poffo’s peak in the business- I figured I’d make a special short Friday Dream Matches column out of it, getting that and his one PPV match- The Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake from the 1990 Royal Rumble (with an all-time quip from Jesse Ventura)! Also I’ll toss in one of his last WWF bouts (in fact, I’m sure it’s his last TV match), as he teams up with his charges the Beverly Brothers against Max Moon & High Energy!

WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
HULK HOGAN vs. THE GENIUS:
(WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event, Oct. 31st 1989)
* This is a bizarre one- a total mismatch featuring Hogan going up against the former “Leapin'” Lanny Poffo, a low-tier babyface with a penchant for acrobatic moves like the futuristic “Moonsault”, now reimagined as a mincing, effeminate heel (I’ve heard tell this was Lanny’s idea to avoid getting fired). Hulk Hogan and his cocainey best proclaims to Mean Gene that “if he’s so darn smart, how come he doesn’t know that mathematically, he can’t win, brother?” See, it turns out that the “three demandments” (training/prayer/vitamins), plus the 24 inch pythons, times the millions of Hulkamaniacs = Victory. Dang he’s as good at math as Steiner. Good diction too, as he sputters “POETIC PROWESS?!” at Mean Gene’s assertion. Then counters with a Longfellowian poem “Roses are red/violets are blue/the Hulkster’s a wrestler- Genius WHAT ARE YOU?!”.

There’s something to be said when a guy is still talked about as a great “Shoulda-Been” almost 20 years after he stopped wrestling.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! Today, I have a very “2001 WCW” pairing, as a washed-up, immobile Lex Luger has to lead hot rookie Sean O’Haire through a match! Then I check out some Rockers/Orient Express stuff… but 3-4 years before their WWF feuds, as it’s Badd Company vs. The Midnight Rockers in the AWA! Come see the double-teams and a very young Shawn & Marty, as well as their “infuriated Southern babyface” energy! Then it’s not one, but TWO matches of High Energy versus the Beverly Brothers! I can barely contain my excitement!

LEX LUGER vs. SEAN O’HAIRE:
(WCW Nitro, 3/5/2001)
* I decided to try and find more old Sean O’Haire stuff to see if the wild potential we’d all guessed for him was actually there in the first place. So naturally the first thing I found is a 2001 Lex Luger match, lol. At this point, O’Haire was getting a lot of hype online- with a FANTASTIC look (check that 2001-era spiky hair and chin beard!) and Jeff Hardy’s Swanton, he seemed supernatural and like a “sure thing”. Here he’s in shiny black shorts with blue fire on them, while Lex is in the same-old black trunks. The two are about the same size, which is part of why O’Haire seemed so awesome- if he was in AEW today, he’d be near Lance Archer’s height and would be flipping and flying around.

Lord Alfred: “They made a fashion statement there, but I don’t think anybody was really listening, do you?”
Monsoon: “They left a lot of room for improvement, didn’t they!?”
-Commentary during the match below.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have some interesting stuff, led by a pair of matches between the WWF Tag Champions Money Inc. against High Energy! I also wanted to find more Young Stallions stuff, but I only got a squash they have… but it’s against “Iron” Mike Sharpe and SONNY BEACH! Woo- UWF crossover! Now I demand a Jim Powers cookie!

And then I have a bout featuring RIKIDOZAN of all people, who has a tiny bit of YouTube stuff available! Come see the Japanese legend take on Haystacks friggin’ Calhoun in a pair of ultra-clipped matches! And finally, it’s Mortis & Wrath vs. La Parka & Psychosis, in one of those midcard WCW matches full of crazy spots and huge bumping between guys who are never gonna get a major push.

WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
MONEY INC. (Ted DiBiase & Irwin R. Schyster, w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. HIGH ENERGY (“The Rocket” Owen Hart & Koko B. Ware):
(WWF Prime Time Wrestling, July 20th 1992)
* A rare title shot for High Energy, as the parachute-pants duo near the bottom of the tag ranks take on Money Inc.. Owen’s in purple and Koko’s in yellow.

Welcome back for more Dream Matches! This time we got to a sorta-request- a PPV match between Brock Lesnar & Rob Van Dam! Then a powerhouse bout between Scott Norton and the One Man Gang from 1996 WCW! Also, more of Freddie Joe Floyd, as he takes on a post-KOTR Steve Austin in 1996 WWF! More of High Energy, as they fight the jobber due of Barry Horowitz & Kato! The Powers of Pain in WCW as the Super Assassins against JTTS duo the State Patrol! And finally, we get the all-time greatest dream match of all: THE BEVERLY BROTHERS vs. DISORDERLY CONDUCT! Can WCW Saturday Night contain that level of star powers? Read on!

2002 KING OF THE RING FINAL:
BROCK LESNAR (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. ROB VAN DAM:
(6/23/02)
* So someone recommended I review the Vengeance match between these two, but it’s not on YouTube I think- but hey! Another KOTR match! This is the Finals to 2002’s show, during the Year of Lesnar’s Mega-Push. This tourney led to Steve Austin temporarily quitting as well as Chris Jericho turning on the IWC, ripping on fans for giving his RVD match on this same show only ***1/2 or so. Something like “If you don’t like this, then you’ll never like anything we ever give you” because he had an elevated opinion of that bout. Brock’s in black trunks and looks like absolute MONEY with that huge, bulky muscular physique, while RVD’s in great tiger-striped tights.

High Energy AND Max Moon! In one match! It’s the most 1992 thing in wrestling!

Here’s an extra Dream Matches column for the week! Mainly because I had an extra couple of Steiners/Fire & Ice matches to post, plus I found this other bizarre one- a rare Genius match from 1992… AND a Max Moon appearance! In the same match! These would be posted MONTHS apart if I did the usual thing, so I give a little extra this week. I also threw in a short Giant/Ice Train match from the same time.

MAX MOON & HIGH ENERGY (Owen Hart & Koko B. Ware) vs. THE GENIUS & THE BEVERLY BROTHERS (Beau & Blake)
(Dec. 7th 1992)
* Wow, now THIS is a weird one. The Genius in a rare 1992 wrestling appearance, along with the short-lived Max Moon teaming up with fellow high-fliers Owen & Koko! The Genius is ultra-pasty in his black jobber trunks. Monsoon jokes about the twelve Hart children before the match, “Stu was certainly busy, wasn’t he?”, cracking up Lord Alfred.