Hector Garza

I’ve a special “Dream Matches” column this week, as I did one on Sunday for horror movie-themed guys, but wanted to get back to the regular Wednesday schedule with a smaller column. And as someone brought up this infamous bit from Nitro history, I figured I’d make it the focus, as it’s as well-known for the reactions of the commentators (who laughed throughout most of it) as it is for being surprisingly good. And I’ll throw in a random other Lucha match after it, because otherwise this is less than 1000 words!

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MEXICAN HARDCORE MATCH:
LA PARKA & SILVER KING vs. CICLOPE & DAMIAN:
(WCW Nitro, July 7th 1999)
* So this is a VERY infamous match from the latter era of WCW, when the WWF was destroying them in the war. They do the usual “WCW” thing of trotting out four random guys, mostly nobodies, to fill space on their massive show, only this time it’s a Hardcore match because WWF was doing stuff like that, too. La Parka was pretty over but still a TV jobber, while the other three may as well have been Barry Horowitz- they NEVER won and were total jobber nothings, especially Ciclope. They move a bunch of plunder to the ring as Tony & Bobby on commentary laugh at the notion of a “Falls Count Anywhere MEXICAN Hardcore Match!”, repeatedly referencing the full name of the match while laughing… get used to that.

Always interesting how Jericho, who looks like a normal-sized wrestler today, looks noticeably smaller than Mr. Perfect, whose WWF career was held back by his comparatively small size.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! We start off with a double-whammy, as there’s a pair of Chris Jericho vs. Curt Hennig matches from late-90s WCW! Hennig’s past his prime and Jericho wasn’t “made” yet, but see what these two can get going. Then we go to mid-90s WWF, as “The Narcissist” Lex Luger and “El Matador” Tito Santana fill TV time as Lex’s WWF career starts off! Then the Steiner Brothers go on a tear in 1998 WCW as they take on the nWo bottom-tier squad of Konnan & Vincent!

Then it’s a very “1990s WCW TV” match, as Scott Norton faces jobber Jim Powers! And finally, a “Throwaway Saturday Night Trios Match” starring Juventud Guerrera, La Parka & Silver King vs. Super Calo, Hector Garza & Lizmark Jr.! Which is interesting mainly because it has a REALLY awkward bit thanks to a mid-match injury and some improv.

CURT HENNIG (w/ Ravishing Rick Rude) vs. CHRIS JERICHO:
(WCW Nitro, Dec. 29th 1997)
* The post-Starrcade doldrums of WCW are here! Hennig faces off against Cruiserweight star Jericho. Jericho at this point was still his Generic Peppy Babyface incarnation, but was far less manic than when he came down to that Mammoth song, using the “Evenflow” ripoff and coming down with… this odd kinda random grin on his face. Like he’s being sarcastic a bit? It’s really weird and hard to read. He’s in black with yellow lightning bolts, while Hennig’s in blue.

Welcome to another column of Dream Matches! This one has some truly crazy “Wait, that was a thing?” cases, as the indie superstar of the 2000s meets the supposed indie superstar of the 1990s, in Bryan Danielson vs. Reckless Youth! Plus the two most bizarre “ECW guys looking out of place in WCW” cases, with the Sandman AND Mikey Whipwreck showing up, taking on Billy Kidman and a Villano, respectively! Watch on YouTube as Dusty Rhodes leads poor Scott Hudson through the most insane conversation in history to fill time. Oh, and remember that four weeks when you saw AAA luchadores on the main WWF TV shows? Well I do! And here’s the time they got sent out on RAW to die while they furthered other programs during their match!

ECWA SUPER-EIGHT TOURNAMENT (2001, second round):
BRYAN DANIELSON vs. RECKLESS YOUTH:
* Oh my god, I just wanted to find Reckless Youth stuff to snark on mid-1990s PWI’s obsession with him, and I found Baby Bryan! So at the time Bryan was just some nobody on his way up- short-haired and clean-shaven like every other Indie Dweeb at the time, but he’s now up against the GOD of the Indie Dweebs. The ECWA Super-Eight was kind of like the ultimate trophy of the indie scene at the time, which at this point was made up of wannabes to WWF & WCW, and wrestled more or less like those companies’ styles- it was either guys who were gonna make the big leagues, or guys who were too small and/or shitty for them. But the focus on Cruiserweight wrestling in WCW, Shawn Michaels, and New Japan’s Juniors, the new generation being fans of that style, and the fact that bouncers and failed football players were suddenly finding careers other than wrestling, meant that there was this massive culture shift that sort of birthed Ring of Honor and the modern style.