doink

Mabel vs. Savio Vega ending a PPV. This was so bad it feels like a hard-boiled noir detective should be doing narration over it.

KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCHES (1995):
* Back for more King of the Ring Qualifiers- technically still part of my “Dream Matches” column, haha. And with a special edition of everyone’s favorite wrestling standby: FANTASY REBOOKING!!

This year’s King of the Ring was very well-represented on YouTube. This is the most infamously bad tournament in history, which is hilarious, as “on paper” it looks to be the biggest one ever- while most tourneys are foregone conclusions or are full of mid-level guys, this one had Lex, Owen, Razor, Shawn and even the UNDERTAKER wrestling, with a ton of matches having equal stars. So the disaster that was the ’95 KOTR is a true epic. Come watch as the long national nightmare of Savio Vega in a prominent role begins, plus how NOT to create a new Monster Heel.

Previous tournaments re-legitimized ex-champion Bret Hart and gave credibility to Owen for his feud with Bret. A third tournament could either legitimize another would-be champion (Shawn Michaels, in this case), or set up a challenger for Diesel, who’s coming out of a feud with Psycho Sid. It looks like Bob Holly beating Mantaur is not on YouTube, but I found the rest.

MABEL (w/ Mo) vs. ADAM BOMB:
(WWF In Your House, May 14th)
* This was a strange decision- putting the first KOTR Qualifier on the first-ever In Your House PPV as a throwaway bout. Mabel had just recently turned heel, while Bomb was spinning his wheels as a directionless babyface after splitting with Harvey Whippleman last year. Bomb’s in the red & yellow gear as usual (he only briefly wore other colors), while Mabel’s in black & purple.

And it’s time for more Dream Matches- this one actually featuring a GOOD match! Sabu vs. The Lightning Kid! LIGHTNING FOOT in the WWF! And a weird 2007 6-Man Tag with DOINK of all people in a WWF ring with Kane & Eugene as partners. Ric Flair versus a jobber luchador, and one of the laziest Indie Show matches you will ever witness.

A reminder that WWF-owned videos are not kosher to post here- these are all on YouTube, however.

SABU (w/ Oliver Humperdink) vs. THE LIGHTNING KID:
(NWA Grandslam ’93)
* Yes, this is one of the famous indie tape-trader dreams, featuring Sean Waltman (pre-1-2-3 Kid) versus SABU. Sabu, in pink Prince of Persia pants, goes after the announcer before the match to play off his “crazy person” gimmick, while the Kid, in his WWF gear with “L. Kid” printed on his ass, looks like a 14-year old.

Taped from New Haven, CT

Airdate: October 4, 1993 (taped 9/27)

Attendance: 5,500 (3,200 paid)

Hosted by Vince McMahon & Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Who will become the top two contenders for the IC title? What’s up with Bigelow and Doink? Let’s find out!

Live from New York, NY

Airdate: September 13, 1993

Attendance: 1,200 (sold out)

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Can the Steiners hold off the challenge of the Quebecers? What does Doink have in store for us this week? Let’s find out!

Taped from Alexandria Bay, NY

Airdate: August 2, 1993 (taped 7/25)

Attendance: 1,000

Hosted by Vince McMahon & Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

What will happen when the “Macho Man” faces Doink? What other surprises occur this week? Let’s find out!

Taped from New York, NY

Airdate: July 26, 1993 (taped 7/19)

Attendance: 1,200 (sold out)

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Will Bigelow even the score or will Bret earn a second straight victory over the Beast from the East? What’s up with Doink and Savage? Let’s find out!

Live from Poughkeepsie, NY

Airdate: June 21, 1993

Attendance: unknown

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Who will win the rematch between Doink and Jannetty? Can the Kid survive against Ramon for the sake of $10,000? Let’s find out!

Taped from New York, NY

Airdate: May 24, 1993 (taped 5/17)

Attendance: 1,000

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Will either Doink or Perfect qualify for the tournament? What does Ramon have up his sleeve? Could he be calling for a strike? Let’s find out!

Live from New York, NY

Airdate: March 22, 1993

Attendance: 1,000 (sold out)

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, & Rob Bartlett

Can Kamala overtake Doink in the main event? Also, an important announcement will be made. What could it be? Let’s find out!

Live from New York, NY

Airdate: March 1, 1993

Attendance: 1,000 (sold out)

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, & Rob Bartlett

Can Bret survive and retain the WWF title amidst the onslaught of the Headshrinkers? What does Doink have in store for us this week? Let’s find out!

Live from New York, NY

Airdate: February 1, 1993

Attendance: 900

Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, & Rob Bartlett

Can Typhoon defeat Doink the Clown? Who will make a surprise appearance this week? What will stem from it?  Let’s find out!

–Isaac Yankem and Bret Hart cut dueling promos against each other from inside of a steel cage to hype their match tonight.  Jerry Lawler adds his thoughts for good measure.  The setting looks cool as the ring is only illuminated by a few stage lights while the rest of the arena is dark.

–Vince McMahon and Lawler are in the booth and they are concluding the tapings from Grand Rapids, Michigan.  This is the last RAW before In Your House 4.  McMahon lets us know that Dean Douglas and Mabel were each fined $7,500 for their actions after the six man tag team match on last week’s RAW.  The Undertaker is temporarily written off television by the WWF saying that he suffered his facial injury due to Mabel’s attack.

–Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, and Jim Ross are today’s commentary team and they are taped from the campus of Valparaiso University in Valparaiso, Indiana.  According to thehistoryofwwe.com, the tapings drew 3,000 fans.

–Barry Horowitz is showing trying to tutor Hakushi on American politics, a segment that McMahon laughs at.

–Todd Pettengill and Jim Ross quickly recap some of the events at SummerSlam.

–Pettengill and Ross are doing commentary and they are taped from Portland, Maine.  Pettengill tells fans that The Action Zone will have a new format next week due to the WWF’s “new fall season.”

–Footage of Barry Horowitz upsetting Skip at SummerSlam is shown.

–A video package hypes tonight’s Shawn Michaels-Jerry Lawler main event by playing up King Mabel’s attack on Michaels at the end of last week’s show.  Lawler tells Michaels that he is not superman and that he will finish what Mabel started on tonight’s broadcast.

–Vince McMahon and Ted DiBiase are doing commentary and they are live from Worcester, Massachusetts.  The tapings drew a sold out crowd of 4,500 fans according to thehistoryofwwe.com.  This RAW also debuts a new entr

–Jim Ross and Todd Pettengill are in the booth and they are concluding this set of tapings from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

–Jim Ross and Todd Pettengill narrate a video package for why Bret Hart and Henry Godwinn are facing each other in a rematch of their Superstars encounter, which occurred two weeks ago, on today’s show.  Godwinn says that he will give Bret the beating of his life.

–Ross and Pettengill are in charge of commentary and they are taped from Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

–A video package recaps how the Shawn Michaels-Rad Radford feature match was set up on last week’s show.

–Jim Ross and Todd Pettengill are broadcasting today’s edition of the show and they are still in Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

–Vince McMahon says that on today’s show Jerry Lawler will make a “royal decision” about whether to accept Bret Hart’s challenge.

–McMahon and Dok Hendrix are handling commentary and they are doing the last of this cycle of tapings in Danbury, Connecticut.

–Vince McMahon puts over the In Your House pay-per-view as the lead-in for today’s show.

–McMahon and Dok Hendrix are in the booth and they are concluding the tapings in Des Moines, Iowa.  Hendrix repeats his claim from last week’s show that Henry Godwinn is likely working with the Million Dollar Corporation to weaken WWF Champion Diesel before tomorrow’s big show.  Hendrix is also careful to call Sid “Super Sid” instead of “Psycho Sid.”