Bryan Clark

The Brain Buster’s finish is the piledriver but Koko’s theme is Piledriver and his finisher the Brainbuster.
-YouTube comment.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I found a very odd one-off, as it’s the Brain Busters versus the makeshift team of… High Energy? Yes, it’s OWEN HART AND KOKO B. WARE, but several years early, as Owen’s the Blue Blazer and neither is in gigantic parachute pants, and they’re taking on the NWA-styled Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard!

Then it’s over to New Japan, as the IWGP Tag Team Champions, Rick & Scott Steiner, defend against the monster squad of Scott Norton & Tony “Ludvig Borga” Halme! Come see some real Hoss Style wrestling… at least until their cardio wears out! Then it’s a classic 1994 WWF match, with The 1-2-3 Kid & Thurmann “Sparky” Plugg vs. Adam Bomb & Kwang! Sting vs. Lt. James Earl Wright in 1995 WCW! And we cap things off with a jobber squash featuring Don Muraco in 1980s Florida dismantling a green rookie Barry Windham!

THE BRAIN BUSTERS (Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard, w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. KOKO B. WARE & THE BLUE BLAZER:
* !!!!!! This was mentioned in a daily thread as a fascinating unknown match, and look at it! The Brain Busters vs. High Energy… three years early! Owen Hart at this point was a masked undercard guy in light blue gear for some reason, and Koko was on the JTTS train already. The Busters, in black trunks, are so NWA they look bizarre in late ’80s WWF, but they kinda fit because of that- two guys in regular gear with regular dad-bods like good NWA stars should look. Like, WWF was so full of weird characters that this actually STOOD OUT… and thus kind of worked? I mean the whole company was guys trying to stand out so “NWA Guys” was ironically a good fit. The jobber team is listed as 70 lbs. heavier than the Busters- that doesn’t sound right.

Welcome back to another Dream Matches column! Here, we get one of the most famous bad matches in wrestling history, as WCW sends out terrible rookies Sid Vicious & Bryan Clark on a major national television show! Who can lead the match? NOBODY, as it turns out! And then they bring out a BIG AXE!!

Then we get the bizarre SmackDown! match where Triple-H has to take on Kai En Tai & the Brooklyn Brawler to earn a match against Chris Jericho on the next RAW- it’s semi-famous for the ending, which is kind of a one-time-only thing. Then “The Best of Roadblock” continues as he takes on Diamond Dallas Page in a throwaway match, and we visit PCO during his SECOND run in WCW as he fights Big Vito. And we finalize everything with the FIRST EVER match between the Undertaker and Kane!!! Except it’s in WCW with a green-ass rookie “Unabom” Glen Jacobs an an invading WWF purple-gloved Taker. But it still counts!

When a five-minute match ends up still being talked about 20 years later.

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This one features the famous Nitro bout between Main Eventer Kevin Nash and the rising star Wrath! And totally isn’t just an excuse for me to write a mini-column whining about that match and then put up random other weird shit I found to pad it out!

Also here: one of the Headhunters being the hardest working guy in a match involving four former major stars and then-current major lucha acts, plus did you know that Flash Funk and the GOON crossed paths? Well now you do!

KEVIN NASH vs. WRATH:
(WCW Nitro, Nov. 23 1998)
* So THIS turned out to be one of those things that always sticks to Kevin Nash, and is still talked about to this day. So Nash was heading towards his big Title match with Goldberg at Starrcade. Wrath, meanwhile, was getting bigger and bigger reactions for going from a midcarder to ANOTHER Goldberg-style squash artist, just wrecking guys on the undercard for months, to the point where he was getting great reactions. As he was a huge guy who could really move, and had good monster charisma, he was over and he had a lot of potential. Buuuuuuuuuuuut since Goldberg famously had an unbeaten streak, Nash was thought to need to “warm up” by fighting ANOTHER guy with a “streak” going. And so Wrath, in the middle of a hot streak, is booked against a main eventer who can’t afford to lose.