Big E Opens Up On Mental Health Struggles

Big E has discussed his struggles with depression.

After five years in WWE, Big E joined up with Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods to form The New Day. Although the group had a rocky start, it became one of the biggest acts in the company. Eventually, the popularity of the faction helped propel Big E to singles success in 2021, when he captured the WWE Championship.

Behind the scenes of his flamboyant character and successful career, though, Big E was battling bouts of severe depression. Speaking to Stephanie McMahon on ‘What’s Your Story?’, he explained that his first memory of depression was at only 9 years old.

“My first memory of struggling with depression was nine years old. Looking in the mirror and just crying and thinking, ‘I want to be anyone but me,’ just feeling very much alone, feeling like truly anyone else but who I was, and I just was not comfortable in my skin.”

The depression hit harder after he suffered a series of injuries while playing football in college, leading to a diagnosis of major depression with psychotic features. E began going to therapy in 2005, but struggled to find the right treatments and medication. He went on to say there was a time when things got so bad that he asked to be admitted to a psych ward.

“My journey in therapy was not a smooth one. I had many, many struggles. I was on antidepressants… I was on antipsychotic medicine as well. It got to a point too where I was even in a psych ward at the University of Iowa.”

The struggle continued into his WWE career, and even when The New Day was riding high, he was trying to deal with suicidal thoughts.

“I still struggled with suicidal thoughts, even at the height of The New Day, when we’re taking off. So many times I didn’t know why I was here. I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Big E Credits Meditation For Changing His Life

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit and Big E no longer had the distraction of being on the road with WWE and realised he would be stuck in his home by himself for lengthy periods of time, he decided it was time to commit to something that could help his mental health: meditation.

“It wasn’t something that changed me overnight, it wasn’t something that I saw these vast leaps in a week or two. Being consistent, every single day for months and months and months over time.

“People talk about rewiring your brain, I never understood that, never made sense to me, but then, after a few months, I noticed that the way I would react to certain things that would usually have me spiral, there was nothing. Then the next day, zilch, nothing, I feel good about myself.

“It’s why I beat the drum for mindfulness and meditation, because it has vastly changed my life. It’s made me so grateful for the small things.”

Big E credits the practice with his positive attitude after suffering a broken neck during a match in 2022. Instead of thinking about all the things he didn’t have, the star says he was grateful for the things he did have, including the fact that the injury didn’t leave him paralyzed, and the “incredible support system” he had cultivated throughout his life.

Big E does not believe he is likely to return to the ring, but has found a new career in WWE as an on-air personality, appearing as a host and panellist on various shows.

H/T to WrestlingNews.co for the above transcription.