Tooned In: Masters of the Universe – Tales From Eternia (8/14/26)

Happy Saturday Morning!

TV viewing briefs: thanks to PlutoTV, I have free access to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend again, and can finally finish the last season, which I put off first because it was 2020 and, you know. Then aside from my interests being elsewhere, Netflix pulled the series (yet premiered a one-woman show starring Rachel Bloom…) I’ll probably try Rose McIver’s first starring role, iZombie, as well. I’m into the point of A World Without Mel, Geoff, and Chantelle in Benidorm, but as a tradeoff I have Lesley/Les now.

Unfortunately, Carla Hall seems to have confirmed what I suspected. She at least will not be with the Halloween Baking Championship, but being that she’s been absent from Food Network since last Halloween, I kinda wonder if she quit the channel altogether. First, it’s a shame, cause she was a post-Lorraine Pascale judge I came to like. Second, it brings to mind how much the channel has changed, as it’s been focusing on more colorless and more serious competitions, and the few traditional seasonal championships left seem to have made changes for the sake of change, along with tapping into Central Casting and its hyperactive, over the top characters. THIS is becoming more like what Valerie Bertinelli complained about 2 years or so ago.

So this week’s Tales From Eternia has a few new characters inside another trope borrowed from the original cartoons, and He-Man main eventing a battle in another dimension. So this could double as another entry into Sports Entertoonment as well :

The guitar riff from the intro has become an ear worm for me, as most He-Man themes are. We start with the usual scenario of He-Man protecting the entrance to Castle Grayskull from Skeletor, who tries appealing with the fact that the castle looks like him anyway. But wait! A mysterious glow transports both into the corridor of some other place, where He-Man meets up with his old friend Fisto! Since this is a kids’ show, now with 100 percent less hammering home the “fisting” meme. He informs He-Man that they’re in some kind of gladiator arena, and the most powerful man in the universe will be the main event. If I still had my Masters of the Universe figures when I was into WWF Hasbros, I’d probably put He-Man up against Hogan, Savage, et al too. Meanwhile, Skeletor encounters Clawful, admitting he doesn’t keep track of his useless lackeys and thusly doesn’t notice who’s missing.

The reunions are cut short by the promoter/ring announcer, a giant glowing orb named Om who even has a merch table and hypes the upcoming match-up as a literal battle of good vs. evil, to see what’s more powerful. Naturally, said match is Skeletor vs. He-Man, called the “strongest man in the universe,” and really would you talk up your competitors by lumping them with the likes of Ted Arcidi or Dino Bravo? Speaking of which, Fisto and Clawful are the mid-card corner men, as if this was the SummerSlam ‘90 co-main event. Oddly enough, Skeletor gets cheered too…darn those smarky crowds, this other dimension must be Philadelphia. Again calling to mind SummerSlam ‘90! Were the Tales From Eternia writers listening to this week’s Squared Circle Time Machine or what? Oh yeah, the added stipulation is, winner goes home, loser has to stay forever.

So the battle begins…but wait! Skel decides if he’s going to destroy He-Man, it’ll be HIS decision, not someone else’s. And He-Man…agrees? So basically the Eternians pull a Gilbert Brothers In Japan and shoot on Om, refusing to fight for his entertainment. But Om isn’t letting them go without participating in a match, so he conjures up a rock monster. You probably know the drill, the heroes and villains decide it’s easier to work together, and He-Man, Skeletor, Fisto, and “crab guy” team to defeat the beast, ending as Clawful throws it off balance by pinching it in the foot, setting up Skel and He-Man finishing the job. Also of note is Fisto, erm, fisting the rock monster with the Shoryuken, essentially. Is MUGEN still a thing, because that move set totally fits. Anyway, Om decides everyone wins and they can all go home, because they showed compassion, love, and….yeah, Skeletor isn’t having any inspirational speeches. Furthermore, he declares the truce over and he is once more He-Man’s mortal enemy. The heroes leave for Eternia too, sadly forgetting their loot bags from the event.

They let new characters shine, but a Monday night style bait and switch main event, with a guy with the charisma and athleticism of a rock allowed. ** rating.