What the World Was Watching: WWF Monday Night RAW – 05.13.96

Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler call tonight’s action, taped from Sioux City, Iowa. McMahon announces that Ahmed Johnson won the Kuwait Cup.

Jim Ross interviews Ahmed backstage. Ahmed’s promo is interrupted by Sunny, who rubs oil on his chest. Ahmed refuses her advances, saying that his mother told him to take trash out, not bring it in.

Opening Contest: Ahmed Johnson (11-0) defeats Zip (w/Sunny & Skip) (1-0) when pinning Skip after the Pearl River Plunge at 3:15:

The match has some foolishness as Skip and Zip trade places and the referee acts like he cannot tell the difference even though each man has a different body type. The Skip portions are better because he takes better bumps for Ahmed from an electric chair drop and getting elevation when getting backdropped over the top rope. The Bodydonnas switching backfires late when Zip tries to enter the ring on one side and Skip the other and Skip runs into Ahmed’s spinebuster. The referee does not let Zip enter the ring since he thinks he is not actually Zip and Ahmed wins with the Pearl River Plunge. As always, it is fun to see Ahmed ragdoll people but this was insulting to the audience’s intelligence. It should give Harvey Wippleman ammunition for his referee report to WWF President Gorilla Monsoon, though. Rating: ½*

Warrior University gets another ad. Even McMahon seems to feel icky promoting this.

Vader (w/Jim Cornette) (6-0) pins Duke Droese (6-3) after the Vader Bomb at 5:45 shown:

Cornette opts to commentate rather than manage because he believes Droese is not threat to his man. It allows him to put over Vader as a better monster than Yokozuna. Droese scores with a few clotheslines and uncharacteristically Vader kills the flow of the match with a long chinlock. Droese finally escapes with a jawbreaker and knocks Vader down with a dropkick. Speaking of uncharacteristic, Droese goes to the top rope but misses a flying headbutt and the Vader Bomb keeps Vader unbeaten. Vader should have gone over stronger as this made it seem Droese was on his level. Rating: *

McMahon does an in-ring interview with the Undertaker and Paul Bearer, who wheel the golden casket for Intercontinental Champion Goldust to ringside. It is a nice touch that the casket is new because Diesel destroyed the big casket that the Undertaker had been using for casket matches against Yokozuna, Kama, and Mabel from 1994 through 1995. Bearer warns Goldust that he is about to cross over to the dark side while the Undertaker chides McMahon for thinking that Goldust’s bizarre antics will have any effect on him. Goldust and Marlena join the segment. Goldust quotes Tombstone before making advances toward the Undertaker, wondering if he is wearing “embalming fluid number five.” Then he quotes Jack Nicholson from Batman about “dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight” and how he is willing to try anything once. When Goldust touches the Undertaker’s hands the Undertaker hilariously turns it into a test of strength and Goldust cries in pain. Mankind takes advantage of this interaction to attack the Undertaker, applying the Mandible Claw as Goldust crawls to get a closer look and soothes Mankind, getting him to release the hold. With the Undertaker unconscious, Goldust slides over the Undertaker’s body, which was reportedly modified for television as Goldust licked the Undertaker’s leg at the show. When the Undertaker sits up, Goldust quickly flees, running into the guardrail and the casket and losing his wig. The Undertaker stalks after the champion to end a wild segment. There is definitely potential in a Goldust-Mankind pairing from this program.

Justin Bradshaw (w/Zebekiah) (8-1) pins Aldo Montoya (0-5) after the lariat at 3:46:

Bradshaw has not been seen in a month but there is a lack of something substantive for him to do right now, so he is continuing to build wins over lower tier babyfaces. Zebekiah does guest commentary, saying that Shawn Michaels, Yokozuna, and Vader are scared of Bradshaw and refuse to wrestle him. It is also funny to see Zebekiah introduce himself to Lawler since the two had feuds in Memphis in the past. The match is a squash as Montoya is dominated and only lands a couple of dropkicks and a missile dropkick. That momentum stops after a Bradshaw big boot and the lariat. After the match, Montoya is branded.

A video package recaps the WWF’s events in Kuwait City. There is a fun angle where the British Bulldog attacks WWF Champion Shawn Michaels as he talks with some young ladies and tries to drown him in the Persian Gulf.

Non-Title Match: Shawn Michaels (WWF Champion w/Jose Lothario) (10-0) pins Hunter Hearst Helmsley (10-3) after Sweet Chin Music at 13:07 shown:

McMahon notes that Michaels is going to be in a cage match this weekend at Madison Square Garden but does not say against whom so as not to give any publicity to Diesel. Amy Peterson is the woman who accompanies Helmsley to the ring this week for his first match since beating Duke Droese on the April 8 edition of RAW. Lawler urges her to stay away from Michaels because he preys on lots of women. McMahon vociferously defends Michaels but then Michaels bites Lawler’s critique by swooning Peterson after he clotheslines Helmsley over the top rope. Three commercial breaks occur, the second happening after Helmsley stun guns Michaels across the guardrail as Mr. Perfect walks into the aisle to get a closer look at the action. There are some good near-falls as Helmsley nearly pins Michaels after a high knee and then Michaels counters a back suplex into the ring by altering his weight into a pinning combination. Michaels also counters a European uppercut into a backslide. Helmsley goes for the Pedigree after Michaels is whipped into the corner but Michaels trips to escape and goes into his trademark moves. Helmsley fights back and tries a powerbomb but Michaels counters with a hurricanrana, but Helmsley rolls through for a hot near-fall that the crowd bites on. Helmsley goes for another Pedigree moments later but Michaels backdrops out this time and Helmsley has nothing left in the tank, getting up slowly and eating Sweet Chin Music. Quite the fun match that put Helmsley over in defeat as someone who could hang with main event talent. It probably would rate higher if the full match aired rather than getting chopped to pieces by commercial breaks. Rating: ***¼

After the match, Perfect walks away and does not show if he is happy or disappointed with the outcome.

Jim Ross interviews the British Bulldog, Jim Cornette, and Diana Hart Smith. When told that Shawn Michaels will do color commentary for this match with Jake Roberts next week, the Bulldog talks about how the WWF champion has a lot of nerve. With regards to Revelation, the Bulldog is not afraid of snakes and insists that Michaels needs to be scared of him. McMahon kept asking questions so it made Ross’ role redundant. A funny bit happens near the end of the show when the Bulldog says that Michaels is not getting anywhere close to his wife and McMahon responds “Yes he is!”

Tune in next week to see Marc Mero face Steve Austin! Also, Savio Vega collides with Savio Vega! And Jake Roberts faces the British Bulldog in a match promised at the recent In Your House that did not take place!

The Last Word: The main event was great and was a textbook example of how to put over another star in defeat. Mr. Perfect’s appearance raises questions concerning whether he is gunning for Shawn Michaels or is attempting to tutor Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Speaking of Michaels, the way that the program with the British Bulldog is currently framed he is not looking like a good babyface. The Bulldog’s anger at Michaels supposed advances towards his wife are casting him as the aggrieved party and older male fans would be remiss in cheering the Bulldog’s attack on the Kuwait City beach. On another note, the Undertaker-Goldust interaction was wild, continuing to push the envelope of the Goldust character and put an adult spin on the WWF product. Overall, this was a much better show than last week as the WWF enjoys a few more weeks without WCW competition until the NBA playoffs pass.

Monday Night War Rating: 3.5 vs. 2.3 for Nitro (Main Event: WCW Champion The Giant vs. Lex Luger)

Up Next: WWF Superstars for May 18!

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