What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – 03.23.96

Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, and Jim Ross call today’s matches, still broadcasting from Corpus Christi, Texas.

Opening Non-Title Contest: Goldust (Intercontinental Champion w/Marlena) (5-2) pins Alex Porteau after the Curtain Call at 2:14:

Ross hypes a Goldust segment next week that will feature a sequel to his Piper’s Pit film on the set of the Hollywood Backlot Brawl. Porteau surprises Goldust with a roll up and dropkick after Goldust rubs his body and plays other mind games. For the second match this week, Goldust struggles to get an opponent up for a Curtain Call, which he performs after Porteau puts his head down too early on an Irish whip. McMahon and Ross talk about how Goldust does not have an Academy Award but he is a five-time nominee for the Slammy Awards.

Ahmed Johnson (6-0) pins Jeff Brettler after the Pearl River Plunge at 1:35:

Ahmed already squashed Brettler on January 8 and he does so again. Brettler is still wearing the silly loose pants. In the split screen, Jim Cornette does a funny promo where he is scared of what Yokozuna might do to him at WrestleMania, urging fans to forget about Somalia and call the WWF to get the stipulation changed. Ahmed does some rolling German suplexes, an unusual spot for this time, and pops the crowd for the Pearl River Plunge.

In the Slam Jam, Intercontinental Champion Goldust talks about getting goosebumps when he thinks of spanking interim WWF President Roddy Piper at WrestleMania.

McMahon does an in-ring interview with Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who has the same tall female valet as last week. Helmsley postulates that the Ultimate Warrior might be a superhero but he is not afraid to pull on his cape because he is a superhero too. He puts over the Pedigree as the Warrior’s kryptonite. The slow cadence of the promo made it a dull listen. The material for it was not good either.

Savio Vega demands Dave Hebner tell him who his tag team partner is but he gets no answer.

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Jerry Lawler defeats Al Jackson after the piledriver at 3:41:

Lawler remained a part-time wrestler in 1995, splitting time between the WWF and the USWA, which he co-owned with Jerry Jarrett. Lawler’s old feud with Bret Hart was dusted off in 1995 as Lawler accused Bret of racism to drive a feud with Hakushi and stole two victories over Bret, one by count out on Monday Night RAW and another due to Hakushi’s interference at the first In Your House. Lawler lost a disgusting “Kiss My Foot” match to Bret at The King of the Ring to blowoff their program, leading to Lawler visiting his dentist, Isaac Yankem, and bringing him to the WWF to wrestle Bret. Yankem lost the ensuing program, which ended in a cage match where Lawler was suspended above the ring on the October 16 edition of Monday Night RAW.

Jackson was the brother of wrestler “Action” Jackson, who got a WWF tryout the previous year. He worked in the independent scene in the Southwest for promotions such as Global, NWA Southwest, and Xtreme Championship Wrestling (XCW). On the Texas circuit he was an NWA Texas champion and NWA Texas Tag Team champion.

The special match that Lawler is going to have today is one where he is going to do commentary during it by holding a microphone. Jackson tells Lawler that he is a boxer and is 35-0 with 31 knockouts so Lawler catches him off guard with a punch to start the match. The funniest bits are when Jackson gets a bit of offense and Lawler screams or complains. Jackson excites the crowd with a few backdrops and missile dropkick. However, he ducks too soon after an Irish whip and Lawler delivers the piledriver to win, holding the tights just because he can. This was great stuff for a B-show and the crowd got into it.

Savio has bad luck in the draw for his partner as Steve Austin’s name is pulled. When Dave Hebner opens a door to reveal Austin as Savio’s partner, the Caribbean Legend is stunned. Austin shakes Savio’s hand and starts heading to the ring.

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WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: The Bodydonnas (w/Sunny) (3-2) defeat Savio Vega & Steve Austin (w/Ted DiBiase) when Skip pins Savio after an Austin flying double axe handle at 4:14:

Sunny does a quick pre-match rant about how it is not fair that the Bodydonnas are not getting a bye to the finals. Ross tells fans that Billy Gunn should be back in May after he recovers from neck surgery. DiBiase tries to make peace between Savio and Austin before the match, convincing Savio that Austin wants to work with him so they can win the Tag Team titles and make money. However, Austin avoids tagging in a few times and does not try to save Savio from a sitout powerbomb pinfall. Savio avoids a Bodydonnas Rocket Launcher and does the comeback by himself. Angry with Austin, he punches him on the apron. Savio turns around and catches Skip with a spinning heel kick but an angry Austin goes to the top rope and crashes down onto Savio, advancing the Bodydonnas by the same finish that the Bodydonnas used to beat the Bushwhackers last week. This was more angle than match but was a good way to advance the Savio-Austin storyline. Rating: *½

The Slam Jam features a promo by Yokozuna, Ahmed Johnson, and Jake Roberts. There is not a lot of natural chemistry with the babyfaces but they communicate that they are tired of being jumped by Camp Cornette.

Diesel hitting the Undertaker, Bret Hart, and Shawn Michaels with a chair in Madison Square Garden is the Karate Fighters Slam of the Week.

Savio Vega confronts interim WWF President Roddy Piper backstage. McMahon relays that Piper has booked Savio to face Steve Austin at WrestleMania.

Tune in next week to see the Godwinns face Owen Hart & the British Bulldog in the semi-finals of the WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament! Also, Goldust will do another special Piper’s Pit from the Hollywood backlot! It will be the 500th episode of Superstars so tune in!

The Last Word: The tag team tournament has not had a good match so far and it seems academic that the Bodydonnas are going to win and get the titles, something that they arguably should have been given at The Royal Rumble. Still, the tournament has given Superstars content for the early part of the year and unlike the B-level program between Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Duke Droese, the Savio Vega-Steve Austin program has legs because Savio has good babyface charisma and Austin has a much better in-ring presence. If one looks past the RAW recaps, today’s episode was a good B-show because it advanced a key storyline and the Jerry Lawler squash was something unique and funny.

Backstage News*: The next In Your House pay-per-view, which will take place in Omaha, Nebraska on April 28, has already sold 1,910 tickets, generating $35,000.

-There is some speculation that Bret Hart is considering retirement. In an interview with Chet Coppock on March 19, Bret said that if he lost at WrestleMania XII that he would contemplate leaving the WWF. Bret may have expected to use the time off to film episodes of Lonesome Dove but that show has been cancelled.

-The United States Supreme Court refused to overturn the original decision of a federal jury from 1994 that awarded former commentator Jesse Ventura $809,000 in royalties and more than $200,000 in interest for work on 90 videotapes. The WWF must now pay that, in addition to Ventura’s court costs for two appeals.

-The WWF has elected not to participate in Antonio Inoki’s World Peace Festival event in Los Angeles on June 1.

-The Ultimate Warrior is releasing a “Warrior” comic book that will coincide with his WWF run.

-In talent relations news, Sid is expected to return when his neck injury heals, contrary to the promo that he gave in Memphis that he was retiring.

*Backstage news is provided courtesy of Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer for March 25 and April 1.

Up Next: Monday Night RAW for March 25!

And if you would like to read a compiled breakdown of 1990-1995 WWF, 1993-1995 ECW, or of various promotions in 1995, check out my Amazon author page to purchase e-books or paperback copies!