WWE Evolve – 01.14.26

We’re back with more Evolve as NXT is in upheaval and I’m sure the taped nature of this show isn’t going to lead to any awkward moments of random out of whack continuity…coughs. Oh, I suppose I should bring up that it’s Robert Stone on color and Peter Rosenberg on play by play, and it never gets less weird that Peter Rosenberg is doing wrestling commentary on a Z-grade WWE show.

We start with Team PC walking and talking through the parking lot at night as Harley Riggins and Jax Presley talk about they’re here and Team ID doesn’t belong, Keanu Carver (coughs loudly) adds “them boys got packed up” and Braxton Cole says there are only a few lingering around in The Vanity Project, and then Kam Hendrix adds that while ID used to run the joint, now they do and he’s going to take Jackson Drake’s Evolve title, and then we get Harley Riggins hitting Kam’s “Lights, Kamera, Action” catchphrase as they all laugh.

Now a follow-up from Vanity Project…who step into the building while it’s clearly light out and Brad Baylor talks about how they don’t care what the PC guys say (okay maybe Team PC got there before dawn?) and Jackson Drake adds he’s been champion for over 250 days (…seriously?) and he stacks up dubs like its his job (well it literally is your job!). They get confronted by other Team ID guys in Cappuccino Jones, Eli Knight, and Aaron Rourke, Rourke thinks their bluster is cute, Knight reminds Drake that Kam was a defensive lineman, and Jones drinks coffee. Rourke seems to be offering their assistance against the Team PC guys who outnumber Vanity Project. Vanity Project are offended these guys are talking to them since they run the joint, and Jones then tells them to calm down cause the PC guys are coming and since the Project have avoided them, Cappuccino thinks they might be a bit scared. Baylor brushes this off and Ricky Smokes adds an “irregardless” to remind us all he’s a dope (intentionally!). Jackson Drake instead challenges these guys to a trios match.

Intro! Backflips! Chemical labs! Lyrics that I cannot make out!

We get a sizzle reel for Kendal Grey and all she’s done, and then we clip that into PJ Vasa beating up Grey and challenging for the title, and then Kali Armstrong saying that she was in fact the most dominant champion, and she wants to run it back. Just hype for the triple-threat that’s coming up right now.

Kendal Grey (c) w/ Wren Sinclair vs. Kali Armstrong vs. PJ Vasa – Evolve Women’s Championship

Background: So the hype video mostly explained it, but Kali was the first champ, she’s big and strong and fast, Kendal beat her for it and they have mutual respect, Kendal is small but an accomplished amateur wrestler and has the speed/high-flying edge as well, PJ Vasa is new but she’s The Problem and has beaten up a ton of people, she’s the big scary monster. Kali is some really clean pure white gear with some gold highlights, Vasa is in a sorta one-legged black bodysuit with a red tusk-design on the trim, and Kendal is dressed in a singlet over a top and you have 3 guesses for the color and the first two don’t count.

The Match: Vasa stares down both Kendal and Kali before Grey goes for a single leg and gets thrown off and Kali is hit with a headbutt and flies backwards. Kendal tries a rear naked choke but…repeat after me, Vasa shrugs it off though this does let Kali get close enough to land some shots but a kick is blocked and thrown back, Kendal tries speed and dances around PJ and the champ gets a dropkick, Kali gets a dropkick, and both champ and former champ look at each other and give a double dropkick to send PJ outside. Stereo kip-ups and now Grey and Armstrong slug it out before Kali goes for a fireman’s carry, Grey sunset flips to counter but Kali sits on her for 2 and the do a rollup sequence before Kendal speeds it up, only to eat a pop-up punch from Armstrong. Kali spots Vasa trying to step back inside and sends her off the apron again which lets Kendal hit a belly-to-belly and then its her turn to stop PJ from coming back in. Grey tries to keep it up by diving off the apron on The Problem, but Vasa gets a goozle and then Kali gets a spear on Grey…and PJ then spears Kali and trash-talks both downed women. Ad break and we return with Vasa hitting a double corner avalanche on her challengers and then goes for a double Samoan drop, but Kendal slips out and tries something only to eat a boot from PJ who then gets the drop on Kali. PJ goes for a powerbomb but Kendal breaks it up with a superkick and some chops stagger the Samoan into a rebound German (!!!) and instead of a cover she goes for an anklelock…that Kali breaks up with a splash. Kali shows off her boxing skills as she ducks and jabs the haymakers from PJ before a right cross sends Vasa tumbling backwards, Kendal tries her own fisticuffs but Kali dodges and gets a beauty of a spinebuster to send the Las Vegas native into the mat, PJ sneaks up behind and tries for a back suplex on Kali who flips to counter and sends PJ off the ropes for a powerslam and she sets up the Kali-Connection (the POUNCEEEE) but as she rebounds off the ropes Kendal flies in with the Shades of Grey (jumping flatliner) off the top rope for 3 as PJ is trying to crawl over to break it up.

***

So, definitely had a bit of the “very choreographed triple threat match” thing, but my goodness Kali and Kendal have legitimately fantastic chemistry together and PJ more than held her own. All three got to showcase what they could do, PJ did well as a monster, Kali is the brawling powerhouse, and Kendal is clever and skilled. Did anybody really sell all that much? No, but it flew by, had some clever spots and a great finish.

Post-match Chuey Martinez interviews Karmen Petrovic who was watching in the VIP Lounge, and Karmen trash talks Kali for being a failure and says she should stop getting opportunities. Armstrong does not appreciate this and security has to drag her away as Kali offers suggestions where Karmen can sheathe her sword.

More Trill London vignettes as he talks about how he chases adrenaline in everything he does, whether it was in the NFL where he quieted stadiums when he shut down a play, or when his fashion takes peoples breath away, wrestling is going to provide the same thing for him, and that’s not him keeping it real, that’s him keeping it Trill.

Well, not as good as last week and sorta more of the same, but these are effective hype videos.

Timothy Thatcher vs. Charlie Dempsey

Background: So Thatcher is the most British guy who isn’t actually British, and now a player coach that was a pretty established throwback grappler during his long, long, long time in the indies and around the world. Charlie Dempsey of course is William Regal’s kid, the erstwhile leader of the WreNQCC (or maybe not, it’s unclear but they do seek his approval), Roger Daltrey’s body double, and sort of an arrogant throwback of his own. Dempsey had been asking Thatcher for a match for a while, Timothy says he’s done and doesn’t want it, but Chuck finally insulted Thatcher enough for the old man to don his gear again and teach this young pup some manners.

The Match: We start with Charlie Dempsey immediately hitting a Space Flying Tiger Drop…okay no they fight for wrist control as commentary talks about how Thatcher had the rep as the best mat guy and Dempsey wanted to prove that he was that guy, Dempsey tries an early schoolboy but he is in fact schooled as Thatcher immediately transitions to an armbar as Robert Stone talks about both of their time in NOAH where Thatcher is a former NOAH tag champ (it’s GHC Heavyweight Tag Champion you goof!) and we have Thatcher working Dempsey’s arm over with that weird stand and pull hold Shawn Michaels used against Bret in their ironman match. Dempsey kips up, gets a northern lights suplex of sorts and cranks in a grounded headlock, and Robert talks about his time in NOAH and how hard they hit and rough that company is and how much Thatcher and Charlie dig that (Stone was in NOAH?!?!?). Thatcher reverses the headlock, hits a grounded knee to the back and then goes for a bow and arrow before Dempsey goes back to the headlock as Stone brings up that Thatcher is a throwback in his life, flip phone, no TV in his apartment (I feel judged!) while Dempsey goes to a cravate as they return to a standing position. Thatcher goes back to the arm with a knee and then a grounded hammerlock before snapping back on it. We cut to the totally incongruous duo of Drake Morreaux and Carlee Bright in the VIP section reacting to the brutal technical work of Timothy. Back in and Dempsey has a triangle but Thatcher gets a pin attempt and then a knee on the head before throwing another kick to the arm and drags Dempsey to his feet where both trade uppercuts before Thatcher takes Charlie down with an armbar, ropebreak, and another uppercut to send Dempsey outside as we get a break. We come back with Thatcher with a facelock and then a suplex for 2 and he goes back to the arm, Dempsey keeps his grip so Thatcher throws another knee into the shoulder and snaps the arm (almost like Pentagon’s armbreaker) and Dempsey sells on the mat and retreats to the corner, Thatcher pursues but Dempsey gets an anklepick, snaps the leg (like Mr. Perfects rolling neck snap) and then chopblocks the vet. Leg-lace and a bridge by Dempsey in almost a reverse Muta Lock, but Thatcher slips out and gets his knee on the head and cranks in an armbar…and Dempsey gets the ropes for a break. Back up and Thacher goes back to the leg but Dempsey laces the leg to ease up the pressure and converts that into an inverted South Asian deathlock. Dempsey then snaps back a few times before cranking in a facelock with the leg still laced…but Thatcher grabs the arm before Dempsey gets a Karelin lift into a suplex and some stomps. Charles with some uppercuts and then a spinning toehold into a kneebar and both guys are face to face and growling. Tim with a slap, Chuck with a heel to the knee. Back to their feet and Dempsey tries a double-arm suplex, Thatcher stuffs it and shoves Charlie into the ropes for a belly-to-belly. Charles responds with a single-leg and then a knee crank but Timothy grabs the arm…but Dempsey turns that into a pin attempt and then goes back to the knee with a leg-lace and then an anklelock…but Tim slips out again, delivers more grounded knees and then boxes the ear. Back to their feet and Dempsey unleashes a flurry of chops before a super ugly dragon screw legwhip (in a good way!) and goes for a single-leg crab…but Thatcher goes back to the arm…and Charlies goes back to the leg! Thatcher still ends up with a juji-gatame but Dempsey rolls back into an anklelock and commentary is absolutely going nuts putting these guys over. Thatcher turns the anklelock into a kimura but Dempsey breaks with knees to the ribs, both return to their feet and now Thatcher gets a knee to the face of Charles who flops wonderfully here. Dempsey back in and both trade a ton of uppercuts while commentary puts over that Thatcher’s base is gone and Dempsey’s arm is shot. Both guys fall out of the ring together and continue to trade shots as the ref is now at 3. Both guys just continue going at it with Thatcher dropping Dempsey…who then kicks Thatcher in the knee to drop him and Charles slips back inside at 6. Thatcher follows but Dempsey catches him in the ropes with an uppercut and then kicks the exposed knee of Tim and gets a bridging butterfly suplex for 2.8. Thatcher tries a slap, Charles ducks, German, and then an armbar and Thatcher instantly taps.

***¾

Okay that kinda…ruled? Look, this is a particular sort of match, I don’t need to see it all the time, but sometimes two guys just sorta lay on the mat and grab arms and knee each other in the ribs, and just get grimy, I think both could have done to sell a BIT more, though the finish being Charles getting an armbar instead of the knee he worked doesn’t bug me, with a bum leg Thatcher couldn’t make the ropes or get to his feet so he knew he was done. Well done by both guys and I’d expect a fair amount of praise for this one.

Post-match Charles poses as Timothy looks sad and defeated.

We get a Harlem Lewis video package as he talks about how he’s the worst fear of everybody in the locker room cause he’s back and he’s gonna show everybody what he learned in NOAH (man a LOT of NOAH praise tonight) and that’ll take him right to the top. Not the most interesting promo but the sizzle reel of him demolishing guys with power moves was fun.

Vanity Project (Jackson Drake, Brad Baylor, Ricky Smokes) vs. Aaron Rourke, Cappuccino Jones, and Eli Knight

Background: Well we got the buildup for this match earlier on the show, but Vanity Project are arrogant heels with Jackson Drake as the Evolve champion, a sorta, sleek, slim, fit, athletic indie guy who does a lot of springboards and knee strikes, while his goofy tag-team of Swipe Right uh, I actually don’t know what they really do in the ring other than get beat up, but Brad is blonde and a bit of the consigliere, while Ricky is just sorta a dope. Their opponents are flamboyant Aaron Rourke, caffeine aficionado Cappuccino Jones, and uh, Eli Knight…who I know little about, all three are lithe, slight, slender…they’re small indie guys, two of them have hair and one of them is Aaron Rourke.

The Match: Before the match starts, our VIP resident is Laynie Luck who is vibing to the themes as a party girl should. Aaron Rourke and Ricky Smokes start with some standing grappling and a wristlock by Smokes sets up Rourke with a flip counter using the ropes and then a smack to the tuchus. Smokes doesn’t dig that but Aaron gets a tornado boot and we get a double-tag with Baylor and Jones doing some fast-paced flippy evasions before a Jones monkey flip and dropkick lets him bring in Knight, double back elbow before Eli gets a rolling thunder splash but Brad drags Knight to the corner with a wristlock and Vanity Project beat Knight down in the corner before Drake tags in…and we get a rope-running sequence that ends with a Knight leg lariat and Drake tags in Smokes to get dropkicked, Knight gets a standing stomp to a bent over Ricky and then a tope on Jackson…but he steps to the rest of Vanity Project and Baylor gets a jumping knee and we hit an ad break with Knight on the ground. We come back with Baylor getting some shots on Knight before Ricky tags in for a boot off a whip and some taunting and mockery before Drake comes in to hit some knees out of a facelock and then a back rake and a suplex for 2 on Knight. Jackson clears the apron of faces and then gets a kick and a senton on Knight for 2. Baylor back in with an elbow drop and a rolling neck snap before tagging in Ricky for a dropkick to the back and then Jackson with a bridging German. Okay these quick tags are pretty decent! Ricky is in again to keep up the abuse with a low boot and a jumping kneedrop for 2 and he clears out the apron again before running into Eli’s boot in the corner. Knight then clears the heel apron, hits a diving crossbody and almost reaches Cappuccino Jones before Jackson Drake flies in…only for a desperate boot by Knight to let him tag Jones while Drake tags Baylor. Jones gets a hot tag as he takes out all of Vanity Project and gets all fired up. Michinoku Driver on Baylor gets broken up but Rourke gets a cartwheel Eat Defeat on Smokes before Drake hits him with a fireman’s carry gutbuster. Standing shiranui by Eli on Drake before Baylor dropkicks Knight out of the ring. Cappuccino gets a boot on Baylor into a rebound half-and-half suplex (I want to make a creamer joke here but I don’t quite have it) and then the Decaffinator (corkscrew neckbreaker a la Morrison’s Moonlight Drive) before going up…and Smokes shoves him off the top. Baylor hits Jones with a lifting neckbreaker onto the knee, Smokes gets a slingshot spear through the ropes, and Drake tags in for his Unaliving (Busaiku knee) for 3.

**½

Well it was fast! I will say that Swipe Right, an act I’m not super high on, did well with basic heel cutting off the ring with constantly spamming simple moves, the faces didn’t really impress me all that much but they did their thing.

Post-match Kam Hendrix comes out with the Team PC guys who say that Vanity Project’s time is up, as they’re using the stipulation of their Gauntlet Match where they get to run a show for one episode, and it’s going to be Jackson Drake in a match against Keanu Carver, Harley Riggins, and Jax Presley on the 28th, and then the week after, it’ll be Kam Hendrix taking his title shot against the scraps of Drake.

Afterwards we get Tate Wilder in the locker room watching on a monitor and he brings up that “more and more it feels like I’m walking this alone.” DUN DUN DUN!

Look, is Evolve a workrate show now? Three different matches with three VERY different styles, all successful at what they were trying for to various degrees. That said, I uh…man there is a LOT Of heel vs. heel stuff on this show, and I’m not totally sure how I feel about the ID vs. PC thing as a thing that matters since both the PC and ID guys both seem like jerks, even still, a pretty solid show tonight if you just want some weightless wrestling given that callups are kinda telling us where we’re going with some of these acts.