What the World Was Watching: WWF Monday Night RAW – 03.28.94

Ted DiBiase hands three fans $100 to leave their ringside seats before the show. They are behind the announce team.

Vince McMahon and Jim Cornette are commentating, taped from Poughkeepsie, New York.

Opening Contest: Lex Luger (7-1) beats Rick Martel (1-2-1) via submission to the torture rack at 11:48 shown:

Martel gets no entrance. There is a funny exchange between McMahon and Cornette where McMahon calls Luger a “mesomorph” and Cornette interprets it as a religion, castigating McMahon for going after someone’s religious beliefs. The match gets a lot of time but is a bit disappointing as Martel never gets Luger in sufficient peril and does too many chinlocks. Martel loses in dumb fashion too as he celebrates after blocking an O’Connor roll with the ropes and then gets finished off with a Luger blitz of big moves. The one positive aspect of the match is the crowd stayed with it. Rating: **¼

Owen Hart lifts dumbbells in the locker room in anticipation of his next match. He tells the camera that he is ready to beat anyone after he beat Bret Hart at WrestleMania.

Owen Hart (12-0) defeats Mike Freeman via submission to the Sharpshooter at 5:10:

McMahon asks Ted DiBiase what he is doing at the show. DiBiase responds that he is going to prove that everyone has a price for him and promises big surprises in the weeks ahead. Owen kills time by working holds so McMahon and Cornette can hype a future match with Bret and encourage people to buy the WrestleMania encore that is airing after tonight’s show.

Doink the Clown (w/Dink) (9-0) pins Eric Cody after the Whoopie Cushion at 3:31:

Doink squirts water on DiBiase and he promises that Doink will pay for it. Cornette claims its assault with a deadly weapon since water in New York is contaminated. Doink pranks the jobber with two first names as well by giving him a handshake and shocking him. McMahon works Cornette up to say he could beat any little person and anyone under 12. The manager challenges Dink to a best-of-three falls match. The commentary makes up for a poor squash where Doink works some long holds. Doink’s flying butt splash is now termed the Whoopie Cushion.

Cornette does an in-ring interview with WWF Tag Team Champions the Quebecers and Johnny Polo. One Black teenage fan is happy to see the champions, standing up, waving his hands, and singing their theme song as they come to the ring. Captain Lou Albano quickly interrupts, with Jacques hilariously greeting him with “What do you want, Captain Crunch?” Albano confirms that the Quebecers and Polo have accepted his challenge of getting a team to challenge them. He brings out the Headshrinkers and Afa. Polo freaks out, screaming about how Albano cannot pick them and the Headshrinkers are too tough. The Quebecers try to back out so Albano says he will go to WWF President Jack Tunney to get the title match.

The 1-2-3 Kid defeats the Black Phantom with a reverse flying body press at 2:46:

The Kid is back in singles competition after a tenure in the tag team division. Cornette puts over how the Kid can hit an opponent from multiple directions. The Phantom has no answer for the Kid’s kicks, which leave him open to a defeat via a reverse flying body press.

Crush (w/Mr. Fuji) (7-1) defeats Ray Hudson after a knee drop at 3:24:

Crush gets the honor of yelling at Nikolai Volkoff tonight. McMahon says that DiBiase is commentating Wrestling Challenge because he bought his way onto the show. Cornette carries another poor squash by sparring with McMahon about fitness.

A video package of highlights plays out the show.

Tune in next week to see the 10-man tag team match that was not shown at WrestleMania between Tatanka, the Smoking Gunns, the 1-2-3 Kid & Thurman Plugg against Irwin R. Schyster, the Headshrinkers, Jeff Jarrett & Rick Martel! Also, Earthquake faces Adam Bomb in a WrestleMania rematch!

The Last Word: The Headshrinkers being positioned for a Tag Team title match was the only good thing on the show. If Jim Cornette was not commentating and adding enough entertaining lines it would have felt like three hours. Thankfully, next week’s program has a better lineup.

And if you would like to read a compiled breakdown of 1990-1993 WWF, 1993 ECW, or of various promotions in 1995, check out my Amazon author page to purchase e-books or paperback copies!