Tooned In: More from The All-New Super Friends Hour (1977)

For this review, we’re going back to the All-New Super Friends Hour from 1977, where the Wonder Twins first appear, we get a load more heroes dropping in, and we learn a little about health, safety, and amateur magic. Today’s episode is the second of two starring an actual DC villain in the main adventure.

In the preview segment, the narrator promises that the Wonder Twins will use their “special powers” to save a couple girls from becoming Flotsam and Jetsam. You mean Ursula the Sea Witch is going to use her body language and steal their voices too?

Speaking of the sea, we begin with PROTECTOR, starring Aquaman and Batman (and Robin).

A villain named Captain Shark stalks an ocean liner in his freighter. He looks like Genie, our second Disney reference, wearing a Wolverine mask…technically, our third? He immobilizes the liner, and steals valuables from the passengers. Shark himself takes a necklace…from a woman on his TV monitor?!!?

Captain Shark steals Wonkavision…could this be a secret alliance with Slugworth?

Card-carrying villain, right? Not exactly…as he gives a monologue about protecting the oceans from oil, greedy fishing, etc. Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice, Aquaman identifies the Shark, probably eager to do so once he heard he had someone water-based to take on. And is Captain Shark based off of anyone legit from the DCU? At any rate, Batman and Robin join in on the case. “The freighter is well disguised,” says Batman. We’ll just ignore the big “S.S. SHARK” on the side of the ship, then. Bats’ next remarkable observation: “Judging by the success of the Shark’s first attack, it’s likely he’ll strike again.” World’s Greatest Detective, everyone!

The next target is a boat carrying gold headed to Bombay. And now Aquaman moans that in the fog there’s no way to tell which freighter is Shark’s. Again…

They take the Batboat to search for this super mysterious craft. Shark’s men warn that they notice a small vessel. They say it’s because they spotted the Superfriends, but I think it’s their sick burn about Aquaman’s manhood. They fire the immobilizing ray, which the heroes evade…by ducking down inside the Batboat. No they don’t move the ship at all, and luckily Shark is as good an aim as anyone in Cobra, or the Stormtroopers. Batman promises to use a better “Bat Trick” amounting to playing possum by stopping the boat so they think they immobilized them. Meanwhile, the Superfriends all swim out, and Batman and Robin unmask the henchmen like they’re Scooby-Doo monsters, and then turn the immobilizing tables on them. How? Did they keep their rays behind them? Does Robin have a Bat Immobilizer? We know from past reviews that they have pretty harsh weapons, despite this Dynamic Duo’s friendlier appearance.

Boarding the Shark’s ship, the Superfriends meet up with the arch villain at last. Shark says he’s afraid he’ll have to “put a freeze on their fun and games.” Having faced these bad puns before and with worse accents, Batman and Robin are ready to avoid the immobilizing rays, yet the Shark leaves the freighter, only for Aquaman to triumphantly declare, “It’s my territory now!” as he gives chase. Fish Talking Time, and the cruel hand of irony has sharks chomp Captain Shark’s escape craft. Afterwards, Aquaman tries to give the end of adventure moral, something about “If we can’t enjoy the benefits of the ocean, there’s no reason to protect it.” So is he saying it’s OK to dump oil and take all the fish and etc.? Robin makes the save with a joke about his fishing license, and everybody laughs.

SAFETY TIP

Superman reminds some kid to buckle his seatbelt.

STOWAWAY

The Wonder Twins segment has us back to the sea. At Marina del Sol, two girls Deanna and Trish, want to get to Catalina Island for free so they stow away on a yacht. And forget this “Deanna” business. That is Wendy from season one with red hair. Apparently she got tired of Marvin and is changing her looks and identity to get that cape-wearing nerd off her back for good…

They hide on the “Sea Mist” and it soon becomes more like a Sea Error Mist when a storm comes and the captain gets knocked out while distracted by the girls. Another boat passes by but it’s too rough for them, so they call the Wonder Twins. Apparently adults can use the Teen Trouble Alert too? They catch them in the middle of Zan being Bert Raccoon, Billiards Ace, and he and Jayna take their usual transport of Eagle/Water. Trish has gone overboard, and Gleek finally puts himself to good use when he spots the imperiled ship. Jayna changes to a flying fish and brings Trish back to the ship, while Zan transports them back in the form of a typhoon. Well, he could have chosen an ice Tugboat instead, or something equally shocking. And wouldn’t a typhoon make things worse at sea? Cartoon Network should have explored this when they tackled trying to stop bears with a beaver-made moat. But here, everything’s okay, Gleek makes a monkey of himself when he motorboats in Zan’s water bucket, and everybody again laughs.

DECODER

Okay, this IS the Schumacher Cut, between the freezing pun, and now Batman is in a ridiculous costume:

And he dates this episode when he asks for the first name of a famous motorcycle stuntman as the first clue.

THE GHOST

Really, just “The Ghost”? Okay, for those who didn’t know beforehand, this episode is about the Gentleman Ghost, a legit DC villain who is usually one of Hawkman’s rogues. But we aren’t in Challenge of the Superfriends yet, so we won’t be seeing any Thanagarians here. But yeah, naming the episode after his actual comic name sounds cooler. Just “The Ghost” could be anyone : Casper, Slimer, Topper, Jennifer Farrell, the Ghost of Faffner Hall, Thorfinn, Sasappis, Kitty, Robin,The Captain…

The story begins in “One of America’s oldest cities,” though the narrator fails to name which. In a cemetery, a hearse pulls up and a stranger approaches the crypt of one Jim Craddock and adds “1971-1972” to his marker. Okay, I can safely assume they’re going to resurrect said Mr. Craddock, so is this a reference to the year it is now? Meaning I’ll have to again revise my Superfriends timeline and make it MORE awkward that the Wonder Twins are still training by 1983. Sure enough, the stranger does a chant that mentions Mephisto (no wonder he never shows in MCU shows, he was hanging out with the enemy all along!) He also mentions Zatanno…”Esiar eht daed”? This all brings Craddock’s ghost back and it’s ALAN OPPENHEIMER, aka Skeletor, Man-at-Arms, and a host of others on He-Man. Surreal to hear him working on Superfriends. He mentioned he had an issue with Superman and Wonder Woman, and he’s back for revenge. Ah, so did the 1971-72 refer to that meeting then? Probably, but that can’t be, because the Gentleman Ghost doesn’t appear to have any misguided scientific theories that a good talking-to after some TV-Y7 action will fix.

Meanwhile, at Metropolis Convention Center, world leaders are having a conference, and this is where The Ghost strikes first, taking one prime minister and changing him into a spirit. At the Hall of Justice, the Superfriends are called by Vaguely Irish Michael Bell Cop…but as “luck” would have it, only Aquaman and the Wonder Twins are there. Hi-Def technology being what it is, you can probably make out a groan off camera from the Trouble Alert. Fortunately, the Batmobile is patrolling nearby, so they let the big boys handle this one. Batman uses his cape to throw over Craddock, which is their Only Chance (TM).

Hopefully Lurch or Santa Claus can pop out the window and offer the Dynamic Duo some advice.

In an odd moment, Batman has identified the ghost as Gentleman Jim, yet he warns Robin that they don’t know what powers he has. So much for the king of Prep Time. For their sake, I hope his ghost power is something lame like Alberta humming. In more uncharacteristic Bat Stupidity, Batman is surprised that he can’t use his cuffs. On a ghost, whose intangibility is to be expected. Unless the Bat Cuffs were made of the same metal ghosts can’t pass, the kind that lined the vault in Woodstone Mansion. Oh, the references to that show are just beginning, ladies and gentlemen!

So Craddock escapes and plans at his estate to use the Prime Minister to trap the two Superfriends he really wants. Back in the Hall of Justice, Robin complains that they couldn’t see him. I’d make That Joke, but John Cena told us that they’re not funny, and who am I to doubt…wait, who am I talking about again? I see nobody! Again, Batman implies that he knows who The Ghost is, yet Superman needs to open a computer file for a clue. Here, we see him and Wonder Woman indeed stopping him by returning his body to his grave. What kind of clue is that? Craddock appears on the Trouble Alert warning the Superfriends that they’ll pay for burying him. I hear RVD, Booker T., and others annually call Triple H and say the same. And I guess that Gentleman Jim’s Ghost Rule is that everyone can only see his clothes, despite his face appearing on again and off again. He threatens to continue his work and transform all the world leaders into ghosts.

The Superfriends go back to the convention center to tell everyone to stay inside, and they’re rightfully questioned about what to do if Craddock just walks through the wall, as, you know, ANY GHOST IN POPULAR MEDIA CAN DO. Anyway, the heroes are all, “Whatever, we need to get The Ghost. Here’s Aquaman, he’ll protect you!” (hearing that Hi-Def groan off camera again…) Batman, Robin, and the Wonder Twins then check the swamp, and when Zan crashes their speed boat, he and Jayna use their Wonder Twin Powers to become a sheet of ice and a frog, which seems to only have the effect of allowing Jayna to inspire video game programmers four years later :

Still a better Frogger cartoon than Saturday Supercade.

This experience is probably why the Wonder Twins avoided hanging out with the Justice League when they had to infiltrate Legion of Doom headquarters. Meanwhile, Batman and Robin do find and enter Craddock’s mansion, only to fall into a water-filled booby trap. Jim says they’ll see Superman and Wonder Woman’s fate…if they don’t get tired and sink first. And since we learned how sleep-prone this Robin is from that time he was too knackered to give the decoder clues, that is quite possible.

DECODER (PART 2)

The second clue is another name for “ghost”. So the biker plus ghost name… Fonz Spook? Actually, ghost bikers is now making me think of Crash, the headless greaser from Ghosts. A shame we don’t see more of him like we see Humphrey in the UK version.

Coming back to the story, the Wonder Twins outdo any detective work that Batman did on this episode when they go to the mansion after finding the Batboat, discovering that there was a hollow floor panel. Naturally Zan soon discovers the switch to the trap said panel leads to, and of course nearly drops Jayna in it, but also allows Batman and Robin to free themselves. And now I am reminded that Craddock could use this switch to trap the heroes, meaning he can touch things, aka Trevor’s ghost power. And since he can go anywhere, he has Pete’s too, by the way did Pete mention lately that he can leave Woodstone Mansion, and it puts him on the god tier of ghost powers?

While the hero escaping happens, Gentleman Jim has returned and now plans to get the US president next. Aquaman tries to be cool by swinging in the room like Batman, and blocks the door but of course, as predicted, Craddock walks through right him. Luckily he doesn’t cause Aquaman to get stoned like if Flower had done it. But it was a trick, a dummy is in the president’s bed. No. I refuse. Use that in whatever political talk you like, leave me out of it. So flustered is The Ghost, his hat spins in frustration. But undaunted, he just floats into the conference anyway, through the ceiling no less, so he must be more powerful than any of the Woodstone or Button House ghosts, who can only walk through walls but can stand on floors and sit on couches. He barely touches another leader and Aquaman thinks he saved him…but he turns and then gets sucked off. Arthur steals the Flash’s schtick next by moaning, “I wasn’t fast enough.” Jim starts to wreak more havoc, but after Batman radioed them, Superman and Wonder Woman finally arrive. Supes grabs Jim…WHEN WILL ANY OF THE SUPERFRIENDS LEARN?? So after The Ghost escapes again, back at the Hall of Justice, his two main adversaries agree to his terms about meeting at his grave. Robin protests “but he’ll turn you into ghosts too!” Yeah, he probably does want to kill them…oh…he means the Ghost mumbo jumbo Saturday Morning magic. Superman and Wonder Woman go anyway for their Needs Of The Many reasons, and so Jim leads them to his mansion for a ghost trial. Which would be cooler if somehow, Gentleman Ghost found the spirits of Superfriends enemies that they killed. And before you laugh that off, remember that the Hall of Justice has a Disintegrator Ray. But no, the trial is for returning Craddock to his grave. Of course the heroes are found guilty, and their punishment is to be turned into the biggest undead power couple since Hetty and Trevor. They also become understated nightmare fuel:

No really. I mean, the next season will go overboard with the times the Superfriends are mutated, changed into monsters, etc. But this season was no slouch when it had its moments. There’s this, and don’t forget they had a guy who was literally turned to dust.

The remaining Superfriends go to Metropolis University where they meet a parapsychologist who sounds EVEN MORE like Skeletor. How does the Ghost have Oppenheimer’s Duncan voice, and this rando sounds like the Overlord of Evil? He gives them an ancient pharoah’s gems that will protect them from being changed, and a special disc that will remove the curse for any ghost they show their reflection to. Before you can ask, “What if they use it on Jim Craddock?” the professor also shows them the seven rods of Merlin that fortunately coincide with the number of Superfriends, and will confine him to his grave forever. They return to the mansion and see Supes and Wondie…only they now also act possessed and walk like zombies (which, unlike ghosts, are ridiculous according to Sam Arondekar…if only she met that nice Liv girl who solves murders, she might change her mind). Aquaman, like another blond-haired Hanna-Barberite before him, says to split up to chase the ghostly Superfriends.

Wonder Twins take the shape of steam and a bat…everyone wants to be Batman today! I don’t know why, because Batman and Robin are tricked into a second pit, this one bottomless. Aquaman and Zan are trapped between the Claustrophobic Special, closing walls. Zan is still in steam form, so it looks like there’s some Super Safety that was just called for :

If you just glimpse it looks like “Batman and Robin’s FART”…

Well, with ghosts running rampant, Arthur could blame it on Isaac Higgintoot’s ghost power. But he has worse problems than the smelt/dealt deal. Luckily he notices a leak and it’s (Microscopic) Fish Talking Time, commanding them to bring in more water to keep the walls apart. I assume Zan in any water form is immune to drowning, and he curiously uses both pronunciations of Aquaman’s name (“Ahkwa-” and “Ackwa-”) In the meantime, Batman and Robin use Bat Parachutes and some very wordy way to basically say Bat Cleats to slow themselves down and climb back up. Ironically, one set of heroes are saved by water while the others had to escape it. They quickly turn Superman and Wonder Woman back, and the reunited Superfriends whip out their rods and point them at Gentleman Ghost. Returning him to his grave, they indeed add 1977-1977 to his marker, and all is relatively right with the timeline once more. The moral of the day is revenge is bad, Gleek does Gleek things, and Everyone Laughs.

DECODER (SOLUTION)

The answer is “evil spirit.” Kind of like Elias Woodstone. Now why couldn’t Hetty tell Jim Craddock to go to hell too?

CRAFT

Two kids are bored because of a rainy day, and just like how the US Cadbury chocolate ads just got a boring clucking rabbit while the UK Cadbury got, well, THIS, other bored kids got the Cat in the Hat, while these kids get Wonder Woman coming into their house.

RAMPAGE

Donovan’s favorite team-up, Superman and Green Lantern, star in this tale. In India, a white elephant walks through a village, maybe knocks down one wagon and wall, and it’s then considered a “rampage”. The Superfriends decide to pursue the animal in a blatant act of bestial profiling. Interestingly enough, while he usually can fly using his ring, Hal forms the Lantern Jet, and again, EVERYONE wants to be Batman on this episode. It’s just the Batjet except green.

Reptile Jet wins, flawless victory.

They find the elephant who is “attacking the village,” which amounts to her just knocking down a fence and causing people to dive out of the way. Still, Superman and Green Lantern made their mind up, she’s going to be theirs! To top that off, Supes says she may be 10,000 pounds but he can pick her up. This super bodyshaming causes the elephant to perform her first blatant defensive move by tossing a cart at Superman. Nearby gas barrels spill and ignite electrical wires. Collateral damage, yes, but the elephant still didn’t do it on purpose. We pause for:

CRAFT (PART II)

Wonder Woman helps the two boys with some weird science, where they use a wire, straw, and balloon to make an “indoor rocket”.

Back to action, and Superman of course makes short work of the fire. Now you’d think his super breath would suffice, but instead he spits water at it.

I AM THE MAN OF STEELUHHHHHHHHH! AND I WANNA PLAY!!

GL makes a green buggy to keep on stalking the elephant, and finds that the cause of her distress was her child being caught in a crater. The heroes rescue the animal, yet Superman can’t help but accuse the baby elephant of “causing trouble”. Green Lantern says they had to come back to thank them, because “elephants never forget!” And congratulations, Superfriends, you had an episode where EVERY segment ends with Everyone Laughing. That has to be some kind of record.

HEALTH

Superman reminds us only to take medicine if our doctor or parents say so.

Usual Superfriends craziness and the team meeting a comic villain, in a story where I got to make a lot of references one of my favorite TV shows. I guess I can give a Higgintoot-style HUZZAH! to that.

BONUS…a mini article where I explore the Cuddles Multiverse in Walter Lantz cartoons!

Last time I talked about Walter Lantz was when I reviewed the wrestling short starring Woody Woodpecker, in which there was an interesting bit of trivia, as Woody owned a Great Dane who would look very familiar to attentive Lantz fans. He was called by a different name, but as it turns out, that short predated the earliest appearance of said dog, which we will get right into now to set the stage…

Dig That Dog (1954)

The official debut of Cuddles the Great Dane. This is a foolish fable (no really, the short was repackaged for TV later under an umbrella called “Foolish Fables”) about Percy Pettipoint, a man about to buy his first dog. He finds the smallest, cutest dog in the shop…but doesn’t bother to check its breed. As Cuddles grows (and grows, and grows) up, Mr. Pettipoint teaches him that he should bury his scraps in the backyard. This leads to an unfortunate habit where Cuddles comically buries everything in his house – TV, stove, bathtub, and even the entire house itself. Deciding that Cuddles has to go, Mr. Pettipoint tries various methods of departing with the dog, all of which end with him returning and digging a new item into the backyard. Example: after being put on a slow boat to China (it was the ‘50s…), Cuddles digs from one end of the earth to another, seeming to come out of hell and bringing a dodgy Asian character with him. Being tied to a rocket to the moon seems to finally do the trick…but Percy regrets it when the narrator shames him about his decision. It’s a moot point, though, because Cuddles is back waiting at home. But how? Mr. Pettipoint looks up to see that the moon is missing from the sky. They turn this into a positive when the neighbors all pay to see it buried in his backyard. Only Percy can’t find the money…because Cuddles buried it too.

This wasn’t the end of Cuddles appearing in Lantz cartoons, of course. He does have a cameo in a Woody Woodpecker holiday show, but his other starring role was in…

Moochin’ Pooch (1971)

This was a short in the Beary Family series. The Bearys were yet another cartoon that wasn’t that great, but it used to be all over local cartoon blocks, so somehow I am a Nostalgia Whore for it as well. The titular Bearys are a suburban family of anthropomorphic bears: grumpy husband Charlie, nagging wife Bessie (voiced by Grace Stafford, also the voice of Woody Woodpecker himself), and their son Junior, who looks like a dopey Yogi Bear who’s missed a LOT of picnic baskets. Just another variant on the Honeymooners-Flintstones-etc etc lineage. There was also a daughter earlier in the series, but we never see her again. She realized she was in a later-end Walter Lantz cartoon and probably Zack Morris Is Trashed herself.

One day Charlie’s boss calls, asking for him to watch his dog, just after Junior was refused a puppy of his own. Yes this will become important later. The dog turns out to be a Great Dane that we later learn is Cuddles. So does that mean Charlie’s boss is Percy Pettipoint? Is he helping them in their “See the Moon” business, or did Pettipoint start a totally different business after finally finding his money? Just as important, the Bearys are as tall if not taller than Cuddles. So are they actual bear-sized bears, thusly dwarfing humans? Or some kind of giants? What does the Bearys house look like compared to the rest of the neighborhood, then? Actually, my main question should be: how has the earth survived with no moon in the sky for nearly 2 decades? And are the Bearys mutants who survived the aftermath? Did the Pettipoint household get spared because the moon was there? Anyway, I guess curbing his digging habit has made Cuddles aggressive, because most of the short involves him attacking Charlie (who usually responds with his one-animation sequence of him grumbling/G-rated cursing). He does regress to his original ways when he buries a bone the Bearys give him…in their couch. The end gag involves Junior returning, and since he couldn’t get a dog, he got a cat instead. Dog-and-cat hilarity ensues, Charlie is literally driven up the wall, and his boss calls to say he won’t be back for a month.

All that’s left now is to find out how Woody came to own Cuddles before these two shows, assuming he wasn’t full grown until Dig That Dog. Did Wrestling Wrecks occur between the two canonically, and so is Woody using a voice modulator, and is HE Charlie Beary’s boss?