WWE Smackdown – May 30, 2025

Then, Now, Forever – Together is what I say to corn on the cob as I’m eating it.

The opening highlights spotlight last weekend’s Saturday Night’s Main Event show. John Cena’s deception and subsequent nards attack on R-Truth is spotlighted. Cena vaguely threatened Jey Uso, and then attacked the World Heavyweight Champion as he had Logan Paul pinned. That brought out a returning Cody Rhodes to attack Cena (and allow Uso to actually pin Paul). Cody then tossed out a challenge of him and Jey Uso vs Cena and Paul at Money In The Bank.

We are LIVE in Knoxville, TN at Thompson-Boling Arena on the campus of the University of Tennessee. Let’s see some folks walk in, shall we? Here’s a nattily dressed Cody Rhodes (and Pharoah) who will go face-to-face with John Cena later. Here’s Bianca Belair (who is from Tennessee and sporting a Volunteer-orange singlet and orange boots). Belair is on her way through Gorilla out to the ring.

Belair stops to hug her parents who are ringside (her mom is in a wheelchair). I wonder if that will come into play tonight. She gets a microphone and here we go. Her left hand is still bandaged and splinted. Belair leads the crowd in singing “Rocky Top” which is very much the theme song of the state (I lived in Tennessee until I was 16). She mentions all the things that have happened to her recently and how she considers this place her “safe space” and where she can heal up. She welcomes Knoxville to Friday Night Smackdown, and here’s Naomi.

Belair is saying that this is not the time for a confrontation and gestures at her parents. Naomi says it’s been WAY too long and they need to talk. Belair questions what there is to actually talk about and the crowd chimes in with “YOU SUCK” to really make Naomi think about it. She just wants Belair to forgive her. She’s been trying for months, the past is the past, let’s just move forward. YOU TRIED TO KILL JADE CARGILL, dude. She mentions going to Belair’s parents house and breaking into it because no one was home. She went through Bianca’s photo album and saw how happy she was like when they were tag team champions. Belair is incredulous, and lays out the facts of the attack on Cargill and subsequent lying for months about it, and warns her that what she did to Cargill is nothing compared to what she will do to Naomi should she ever come near her family again. Naomi works up real tears, then grins and says “You know, Bianca, it wouldn’t be good for you and your mama to be in a wheelchair.” Jade Cargill is walking with urgency to the ring and Naomi throws her mic down.

Cargill gets a few punches and a big boot, which knocks Naomi down. Cargill glares at Belair, and then tosses a charging Naomi out of the ring, and here’s Nia Jax. This will lead us to commercials, after which Cargill, Naomi, and Jax will compete to qualify for the MITB Ladder Match.

Money In The Bank Qualifier: Nia Jax vs Jade Cargill vs Naomi

We join in progress, with Naomi tossing Jax and getting ground and pound on a downed Cargill. Naomi flexes to the crowd and puts Cargill in the corner, before charging and dropkicking her. Naomi hits a split-legged drop to Cargill’s mid-section and gets a one count. This thing is moving at a glacial pace. Naomi comes off the second rope and Cargill catches her in mid-air and then hits Naomi with a fallaway slam. Cargill nips up and hits Naomi with three running elbows for two and it’s broken up by Jax. Nia hits a pop-up slam on Naomi and a Samoan drop on Cargill, and then legdrops both of them. She tosses Cargill and legdrops Naomi from the second rope for two. Naomi reverses another fallway slam by Jax into a two count and we go picture-in-picture.

Jax and Naomi start working together during PIP and as we return Jax hits Cargill with a spinning side slam. Naomi hits the split drop and tries for a count but Jax yanks her off as the partnership is dissolving. Jax hits a running senton on Naomi. Cargill is back in throwing bombs at Jax in the corner, then starts running from corner to corner hitting Jax and Naomi with elbows. Cargill hits two superkicks on Jax and then a pop-up spinebuster, but Naomi comes in with a running double knee and gets two on Cargill. Naomi hits a split-legged drop on Jax, but Cargill catches Naomi and hits her with Jaded for two as Jax breaks it up. Naomi and Cargill are punching each other and Jax comes off the second rope (she really likes the second rope jumps) with a splash for two. Jax puts Naomi on her shoulders, goes to the (WAIT FOR IT) second rope, and Samoan drops her. She goes to cover and in comes a soaring Jade with a splash on Jax for two. We reset as Jax gains control through headbutts to both, but Jade recovers with a pump-knee for two on Jax. Naomi gets a big boot on a charging Cargill and goes up, but Cargill recovers and goes up, and Jax comes from underneath for a Tower of Doom spot. Jax stacks both and goes for the Annihilator, but Naomi escapes before Jax lands on Cargill. Naomi rolls over Jax and gets the three?! Well, I would not have guessed that result but here we are. Match was s l o w and not a masterpiece. 2* I guess we’re all just waiting to get to the Fireworks Factory with Jade Cargill because this booking of her since she returned has been underwhelming. She was the best part of this, by far, though.

Winner – Naomi (roll up on Nia Jax)

Here’s Solo Sikoa, JC Mateo, and men’s US Champion Jacob Fatu. They encounter R-Truth who is talking with Little Jimmy apparently. Truth puts his hand on Sikoa’s arm and asks if there’s something he wants to say. Solo: “You crazy touching me?” as Mateo advances. Truth asks Solo if Mateo is his son (I AM DYING WITH LAUGHTER) and calls them all “husky”. He wants to teach Solo’s husky son a lesson so he’s off to find Nick Aldis. Fatu tells them he’s got his own business to take care of in a rather pointed way, and then walks off as Sikoa looks confused.

Back from commercials, Tessitore hypes up Fanatics Fest which will now also feature Randall Orton and Bianca Belair.

Here’s Nick Aldis in a hallway and he’s confronted by Chelsea Green (with Alba Fyre and Piper Niven), who is holding a Chelsea Green stick-mask in front of her face (presumably to cover up her broken nose). Aldis says he can’t understand her and wants her to look him in the eye, so we see her new sparkly face mask as she complains about what happened at SNME when she lost her match to women’s US Champion Zelina Vega. She wants “Crooked Zelina” stripped of the title and wants it presented to her. Aldis says no, so Green proposes Alba Fyre takes on Vega tonight, which Aldis likes.

Here’s Byron Saxton and women’s WWE champion Tiffany Stratton. Saxton points out that Tiff won the title by cashing in the briefcase and wants to know how she’s handling the pressure of knowing someone with the case might be coming for her now. She says she’s always been the girl people have been obsessed with but anyone trying to cash in on her would be making a big mistake. Here’s Naomi as Saxton scuttles away. Naomi promises to win MITB and cash in where and when she wants to. She storms off and here’s Alexa Bliss (another MITB competitor) who tells Tiff not to worry about Naomi, but to really worry about her winning.

Here’s Joe Tessitore and Wade Barrett to go over the current Worlds Collide card which includes a Fatal Fourway for Ethan Page’s newly-won men’s North American title with Page, Je’von Evans, Laredo Kid, and Rey Fenix. Included in tonight’s SDL card will be Fenix/Evans vs Los Garza. Commercials as R-Truth enters.

R-Truth vs JC Mateo

Truth enters first and finds out what is indeed up with Knoxville. Mateo’s entrance is cool as hell with a volcano graphic behind him, but his music is not great (shocking, I know, that Def Rebel has failed once again). Mateo yanks Truth up at the bell, and drives a bunch of shoulders into him in the corner. Mateo whips Truth into the opposite corner hard, then fires him chest-first back to the other corner as Barrett talks up his stature. Mateo misses a charge and Truth hits him with three running shoulder blocks. Mateo reverses a slam and hits a standing moonsault. Mateo misses a running senton and Truth calls for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He hits it and goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Mateo is too heavy and Truth collapses. Tour of the Islands finishes things for Mateo. Not much to this one. 1.5*

Winner – JC Mateo (Tour of the Islands)

Post-match sees Sikoa order Mateo to attack further so he headbutts Truth twice as Sikoa lines up the Spike, but here’s Big Jim Uso to intervene with a chair. Mateo bails but Sikoa stays in the ring. Jimmy glares at Sikoa who slowly backs out of the ring, but Mateo clobbers Jimmy from behind. Sikoa is not happy that Mateo did that, apparently because he’s apparently trying to woo Jimmy back to his side of things. Jimmy helps Truth up.

Here’s Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford with their men’s WWE tag titles on their way to the ring as we go to commercials.

Cody has a podcast, did you know? Well now you do, pal. Cody will go face-to-face with John Cena later, did you know? WELL NOW YOU DO PAL

The Street Profits are here to chat. I bet we will get interruptions, let’s see. Ford hypes up Knoxville (as he is wearing a shade of orange much like his lovely wife Bianca Belair did) and then hypes up the tag division as being the best on any brand in any promotion (HI BOB AND SHELTON) and that the Street Profits are leading the charge. Dawkins runs down the roster of teams trying to get to them and includes the Wyatts (no mention of Pretty Deadly makes me sad, Angelo). Here’s Nathan Frazier and Axiom, known as Fraxiom, to interrupt. Frazier says they didn’t really get a fair shake last week since the Wyatts showed up, and Ford says that before that happened they had Fraxiom beat. Axiom objects, and Frazier wants to run it back. Here are Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley (the Motor City Machine Guns who will be MCMG moving forward). Shelley says the entire premise of Fraxiom wanting a rematch is that the Profits never beat them and that the Profits have never beaten MCMG, so if they’re handing out title matches, they’d like one. Here’s Tomaso Ciampa and Johnny Gargano of DIY (with Candace LeRae). LaRae has the stick and says that they’ve all had chances and calls someone nerds who just got here (I thought she was talking about Fraxiom) and Shelley tells her to shut up. Gargano tells Shelley to shut up and that there’s clearly a conspiracy to hold him and Ciampa down. Ciampa, who is shirtless for some reason (everyone else is in street clothes) says Gargano should not mention the Wyatts. Ciampa says that all the teams in the ring have killed the tag division he and Gargano built (and again I’m sad that Pretty Deadly is not out here) and Ciampa wants a moment of silence for the “dead” tag division. The lights go out.

When they come back on, Uncle Howdy is in the corner laughing. Rowan takes out MCMG on the floor, Lumis comes off the top rope to mush the Profits, and Joe Gacy double-clotheslines Fraxiom. Nikki Cross comes off the announcers desk to wipe out LeRae, who Ciampa basically pushes into the firing line. Howdy hits Sister Abigail on Frazier. The Wyatts gather as “Shatter” plays us to commercials.

Back from commercials and Tessitore runs down the stats on Knoxville as this is the seventh SDL to come from there. We then watch the highlights of the previous tag segment.

Los Garza vs Rey Fenix/Je’von Evans

The Garzas and Santos Escobar are seemingly on the same page tonight. They have a trios match at Worlds Collide against Pagano, Psycho Clown and El Hijo de Dr Wagner Jr (who I think Barrett mis-identifies as just Dr Wagner Jr). Men’s North American champion Ethan Page has joined the commentary team as he and Evans have some major history in NXT. The announcers hype Page up as Fenix enters, followed by the very bouncy Evans. This is Evans debut on one of the big shows.

The bell rings, and it’s Fenix and Angel to start. Fenix gets a rana as Page mentions he’s specifically there to scout Fenix. They crack each other with simultaneous headbutts and both make tags. Evans gets a jumping rollup for two on Berto. Berto recovers and hits a springboard splash for two. Enziguri for Evans, followed by a rana and huge dropkick, and Berto is on the floor. Angel charges in and misses a clothesline, and Evans follows with a jawbreaker as Angel bails as well. Fenix and Evans double-team Angel with head kicks and then double superkick a soaring Berto for a two count. Fenix hits a running kick on Berto for two and we go to picture-in-picture.

Los Garza regain control during commercials and get a heat sequence on Evans, including Angel removing his pants! Evans is just getting destroyed the entire time and we’re finally back live with Angel draping Evans in the corner. He hits Evans with a huge knee to the ribs and Evans collapses to the floor. Angel wipes out Fenix with a right hand as Evans crawls back in. Berto hits a prone Evans with a Garza Special for two as Escobar taunts Page. Evans dives for the tag and misses by inches as Berto holds him back, but Evans superkicks him and they are both down. Berto tags Angel and Evans finally gets the tag to Fenix. Fenix hits a springboard arm drag and double gut stomp on Angel, and then wipes out a charging Berto with kicks. He hits a sloppy step up rana on Angel, and then a double spring moonsault for two as Berto breaks it up. Fenix hits Berto with a roundhouse kick as Evans has sneaky-tagged in. Evans hits a massive springboard splash on Angel, but Berto hits Evans with his own springboard kick and all four are down to applause from the crowd. I think Evans and Angel are legal. There’s a chop battle while both are on their knees. A hockey fight leads to Evans getting a sort-of Superman punch, but Angel reverses a top rope move into a powerbomb for two. Angel plants Evans on the top rope in the Garza corner and tags in Berto, but Fenix races over and clobbers Angel with a right uppercut. Evans tosses Berto to the floor as Angel climbs, but Fenix walks the top rope and double stomps Angel in the back. Evans comes off the top of the post and wipes out all three on the floor. Evans and Fenix gather themselves, but it’s right in front of Ethan Page who stands up to confront them. Evans and Fenix push Los Garza back into the ring, but Page runs Evans into the back of Fenix while the ref is attending to Los Garza. Page tosses Fenix over the announce desk, but Evans superkicks Page. Evans tosses Angel, and Berto rolls him up for two. Evans goes up top as Escobar is distracting the ref and Page sends Evans flying off with a push. Los Garza gather Evans and hit their MTY finisher on him for three. I watch Evans a lot and this was a really decent performance for him in a big match on a big show. I’m guessing Fenix and Penta may be getting together soon, though. I liked this match.. 3*

Winners – Los Garza (MTY)

Post-match, Tessitore complains about Barrett hyping up Page only to see Page ruin the end of the match. Suddenly there’s a Wyatts graphic and it’s spoopy season. Uncle Howdy says they won’t stop until they get what’s owed to them. We go to commercials.

Back live and we look at Signs of the Night. Mayor Glenn “Kane” Jacobs is shouted out. Zelina Vega is sitting in the corner holding up her women’s US title belt.

Alba Fyre vs Zelina Vega

The match is non-title, and Chelsea Green and Piper Niven accompany Fyre to the ring. There’s a Make America Green Again sign in the crowd and I’d laugh if those initials…you know what, never mind. Green gives a stick mask to Tessitore and he’s like “Why am I being handed this?” YOU KNOW WHY, JOE.

Fyre attacks just after the bell and we’re off and running. Fyre whips Vega into all four corners face first. She puts Vega on her shoulders but Vega slips out. Fyre catches a charging Vega and goes to Sidewalk Slam her, but Vega reverses into a headscissors rana. They lock up and Vega won’t release a headlock so Fyre finally pushes her off and shoulders the champion down. Vega regains control and hits second rope bombs onto Fyre’s head. Fyre escapes and launches Vega into the same corner. Vega gets a rana on Fyre and sends her to the floor. The crowd is just kind of there waiting for something to happen. Zelina gets yanked down by Fyre, who spins her like a top and punches her right in the head to applause from Niven. Vega recovers and gets Fyre into the 619 position, but Green jumps on the ring apron to talk to referee Lil Naitch and as Vega goes to start the move, Niven yanks her down as the ref is jabbering with Green. Fyre superkicks Vega, salutes…the hard cam I guess…and we go to commercials (not PIP).

Back live, and Fyre is in control. Fyre hits a gourdbuster for two. Fyre kicks Vega in the gut, but Vega bounces off the ropes and superkicks Fyre. Green is trying to get the crowd to wake up and it’s starting to sort of work. There’s a clubbering sequence and Vega gets a big boot (well, as big as her tiny person boot can be), and then starts throwing bombs at Fyre’s head. Vega hits a couple of clotheslines and a back elbow, followed by a German. She hits Fyre with running knees in the corner as Fyre collapses. Vega climbs, does the Eddie Guererro shoulder shimmy, and hits her Meteora for two. Vega counters a vertical suplex and goes up top, but her moonsault misses and Fyre goes up top. Fyre hits a swanton bomb for two and is shocked it didn’t win. The crowd is mostly silent. Fyre kicks Vega out in front of Niven and Green, and Chelsea takes her mask off to reveal the bruising from her broken nose. It’s a powerful visual. She tries to use her mask to hit Vega, who’s being held by Niven, but of course Vega ducks and Green clobbers Niven instead. Green chases Vega into the ring, and almost runs into Fyre. Fyre turns and Vega hits her with a Code Red for three. Well, this was a whole thing. They both worked hard to no avail in terms of getting the crowd into it. Kay Lee Ray deserves way better than this but here we are. Pay Bonzai, Zelina. 2.25*

Winner – Zelina Vega (Code Red)

Here’s The Miz with Carmelo Hayes. Miz says if Hayes follows the plan, they’ll be okay. Melo assures him he knows what he’s doing and Miz questions the number of Black Masses he’s taken in response. Miz says he got Melo in this match at his own expense and that if Hayes listens he’ll guide him to being Mr. MITB. Melo says he’s the one who got himself in the match and he tells “Mike” that he appreciates the sacrifices, but nobody told him to do it. He says he’ll run the play they designed but it was Melo’s talent that got him to the dance. Miz swallows hard as Melo hits his catchphrase.

Here’s Damien Priest backstage on his way to the ring, and we go to commercials.

Back live and Tessitore runs down next Saturday’s events – Worlds Collide on YouTube at 3 PM Eastern, a countdown show on Peacock at 5 PM Eastern, and then MITB at 7 PM Eastern, also on Peacock.

Here’s Giulia in a pre-taped promo. In English, she says she’s had a goal ever since starting out, but it’s not to “be the best”. Everyone says that and it’s hollow and empty. Her goal is to be indisputable, whether you love her or hate her. She is impossible to deny. She’ll hit harder and conquer everything just like she’s always done. The question isn’t who’s going to let her, it’s who’s going to stop her. (She changes to Japanese here) “If you can stop it, stop it.” Good promo work here.

Here’s a sad-looking Zelina Vega in a hallway with a water bottle. Giulia walks up to her and lets her know she wants Vega’s women’s US title.

Damien Priest gets a full entrance and makes his way to the ring. Priest has a shiner under his left eye after his cage match with Drew McIntyre during last week’s SNME. Highlights are shown but we didn’t have to listen to Jesse Ventura bitch about Priest walking out of the cage this time. Priest says he finally feels like he’s breathing fresh air after winning the cage match. He talks about how if you have a beef with someone in WWE you have a match and it’s over but him and Drew went well over a year and that’s not normal. Priest says you can see by his face that they went to war. He gave him a conchairto, walked out of the door, and put his “ass in the past”. McIntyre isn’t there, but Priest wants to tell him that he still can’t stand him but he got the “warrior” version of Drew and he appreciates that. Priest says that his goal is the same one he had when he came to Smackdown and that’s championships. The war cost him an opportunity to be in MITB but he’s got unfinished business with the “most current badass champion” and he calls out Jacob Fatu’s name. Priest respects Fatu and what he went through and he’s proud of Fatu for making it to this level, real talk. What he doesn’t respect is Fatu’s crew that follows him around. Check that, he doesn’t respect the crew Fatu follows around. SOMEONE CALL THE BURN UNIT. Sometime him and Fatu are going to meet in the ring and if the crew shows up, they can catch a fresh one too. He doesn’t want it to be a moniker or nickname, Damien Priest is EL CAMPEON. I love Priest, my dudes.

As Priest is making his way to the back, Jacob Fatu’s music and pyro hits. They eye each other, nod quietly, and part company as Fatu makes his way to the ring. Tessitore calls Fatu “a human version of atmospheric change” when he enters an arena and the man definitely has a presence, you cannot deny that. Fatu is intro’d and we go to commercials.

Money In The Bank Qualifier: Jacob Fatu vs Carmelo Hayes vs Andrade

Back from commercials and Andrade enters second. Carmelo Hayes enters with the Miz accompanying. Hayes is not wearing The Dre tonight opting to carry it instead, and he gives it to Miz to hold. The bell rings and we’re off as Miz tries to distract Fatu. Melo gets walloped by both other competitors and bails as Fatu and Andrade square off. Barrett discusses the possibility of Solo and Fatu colliding in the MITB match. Andrade avoids a charge and Fatu whips him into the corner where Andrade does the Ric Flair upside-down-over-the-top-rope thing. He hits Fatu with an elbow, charges to a corner and hits a huge crossbody on Fatu, but Melo recovers and breaks up the pin. Melo is clubbering Fatu, and he goes to irish whip him but Fatu puts on the brakes. Melo goes for a springboard and Fatu kind of thrust chops him right under the jaw, and Fatu stares at his own hand in awe. Melo bails as Fatu starts his shimmy. He runs the ropes and Miz catches his foot, but the ref sees this and somehow doesn’t eject Miz. Melo tries a roll up but Fatu snatches him up. Melo escapes and superkicks Fatu over the top rope, which Miz is pulling down to assist. I know triple threats are No DQ but that ish was blatant. Fatu eyes up Miz, but he catches a revived and charging Andrade with a fist. Miz tries to attack but Fatu superkicks him and whips him into the barrier in front of the timekeeper area. Fatu charges and hits Miz with his, well, ass…at full speed. Miz is seeing many many stars. We go to picture-in-picture.

During PIP Fatu continues to wreck shop outside the ring, and Miz is being attended to by medical. Fatu attempts to put Melo through the announce table but Melo recovers, slams Fatu’s head into the table, and goes back in to deal with Andrade. Melo tries a suplex but Andrade drapes him gut-first over the top rope as Fatu re-enters. Fatu hits Andrade with a huge shoulderblock and shimmies again. Fatu dumps Melo to the floor and continues to abuse Andrade.

Back live and Fatu uppercuts Andrade, who collapses in the corner only to be met with a series of kicks to the head from Melo. Fatu goes for the running hip attack as Melo is holding Andrade, but Andrade escapes and Fatu’s…ass…goes into the turnbuckles. I’m guessing the turnbuckles got the worst out of that deal by a bunch. Andrade hits a running flying elbow on Melo and nips up, and the crowd warms up a bit. Andrade hits a double running knee on Fatu, and then turns only to be hit with a spinning bulldog from Melo which gets two. Melo stomps Fatu in the corner, but Fatu charges out and clubs him down. Fatu yanks up Andrade, who superkicks Fatu, and they’re both down. Melo indicates he doesn’t miss and goes for his springboard thing, but Andrade follows and catches Melo with a Spanish Fly. Fatu hits a running senton on Andrade and then one on Melo as Barrett says it’s remarkable to hit a Spanish Fly and not even get a pin attempt out of it. Got to agree with Wade there. Fatu goes to hit his jumping moonsault but Andrade catches him and prevents it. Andrade goes for his moonsault and misses initially, but he springs and hits a second one from the mat onto Fatu for two, as Melo breaks it up. Miz is apparently backstage with medical at this point. The crowd says that this is awesome and I’m not thinking they’re far off in that assessment. A three-way slugfest ensues, with all three on their knees in the center of the ring. Melo gets a springboard DDT on both guys and gets one on Andrade as Fatu breaks it up. Melo hits Fatu with double knees, and then Andrade hits a poison rana on Fatu. Melo yanks up Andrade and hits a floating cutter, but Andrade kicks out at two. Andrade yanks Melo to the outside and they start throwing hands, and then Melo hits a superkick on Andrade only to be met with one from Fatu. So MANY superkicks. Fatu has both guys lined up for the hip attack. He charges, they both bail, and Fatu FLIES through the barrier at warp speed and damn near kills ring announcer Mark Nash and his chair. The crowd rightfully chants “holy shit” at that as we go again to picture-in-picture.

During PIP, I’m not sure if the ref was counting anyone out because it didn’t seem like it. Melo finds a table and drags it partially out, but stops, and Andrade has a chair. He charges at Melo who dropkicks him somewhere around the shins, and both are down. Melo gets the chair but Andrade punches him, and they go back in the ring. This is a REALLY long match now. Melo yanks Andrade over the top rope and flexes as Fatu is still apparently down. Melo goes for a Figure Four but Andrade gets the sneaky roll up for two. They clobber each other with clotheslines.

Back live with Andrade and Melo exchanging strikes. I realize Miz got like four medical dudes out there to look at him and they haven’t shown anyone attending to Fatu, and this vexes me. Melo goes to the corner but Andrade catches him with a savate kick to the head. They scale up to the top rope and suddenly here’s Fatu back in for a sort of “assisted Spanish Fly” as Barrett calls it. Fatu hits a giant swanton on Melo, and gets two as Andrade breaks it up. Fatu wastes Andrade in the corner, but Melo catches him with a boot when he tries the same thing on him. Melo charges and Fatu yanks him up into Samoan Drop position, only to have Andrade hit both of them with an elbow. Both guys pin Fatu and the ref counts (!) for two as Fatu barely kicks out. Barrett rightfully questions who would have won if the three count happened, and here’s Solo Sikoa and JC Mateo making their way down to ringside.

Melo hits a springboard on Andrade for two as Fatu breaks it up. Fatu looks a little gassed at this point. Fatu headbutts Melo in the corner and notices Sikoa and Mateo, and he doesn’t seem best pleased at their presence. He chops Melo and turns to Andrade. He picks up Andrade on his shoulders, and Melo falls on top of Andrade as Fatu carries both of them, but Melo slips off and Fatu hits the drop on Andrade. Fatu misses the jump up moonsault attempt on Andrade and as he’s getting to his feet, Melo comes flying in with his Nothing But Net legdrop. Melo gets two as Andrade breaks it up. Melo rolls up Andrade for two, Andrade counters for two, and that sequence happens twice more for two counts. Andrade hits a back elbow on Melo, Melo hits a double knee dip on Andrade, and then another back elbow from Andrade sees all three men down.

Fatu recovers and hits an implant DDT on Andrade, but doesn’t try to pin him. Fatu tosses Melo into the corner and hits the hip attack on him. Fatu hits another implant DDT on Andrade, and lines him up for the moonsault. Sikoa jumps on the ring apron as Fatu hits the move on Andrade, and encourages Fatu to hit it again. Mateo jumps up and tells him to do it again because Solo told him to. Umm. Here’s Big Jim Uso to superkick Mateo and start a brawl on the outside and as that’s happening, Melo knocks Fatu into Sikoa and both tumble to the floor. Melo charges and Andrade hits him with The Message for three! (Barrett is incredulous in the background which was a cool touch). Man, that was a long match and it kept me involved the whole way. The ending was overbooked but I guess that could be expected given the storylines here. Melo and Andrade have terrific chemistry in my opinion, and Fatu is just so good at the whole thing. I liked this a bunch. 4*

Winner – Andrade (The Message)

Post-match and Fatu is wildly unhappy with Mateo as Sikoa tries to play peacemaker.

Byron Saxton is backstage and congratulates Andrade on getting the MITB spot. Saxton’s next guest is Los Angeles Knight and Knight is baffled why everyone here talks about “punching tickets”. You can thank the old man for that bit of corp-speak, my dude. Knight lists the other competitors, barely remembering Seth Rollins’s name in the middle of it. This is Knight’s third year in a row in this match and he’s the vet now. Aleister Black sidles up to remind Knight that he’s in the match because of Black, and good luck moving forward.

Here’s Cody Rhodes on his way to the ring as I realize there’s 30 minutes left in this show and it’s all gonna be yapping and punching and probably Logan Paul for some reason. We go to commercials. Raw on Monday night has (fine, I’ll call him by his character name) CM Punk kicking off the show to yap about Seth Rollins and his brute squad, followed by Punk’s presence in an MITB qualifier with AJ Styles and El Grande Americano. There’s another qualifier that night with Stephanie Vaquer, Liv Morgan, and Ivy Nile. Enjoy looking up at the lights, Ivy.

Back live and Jacob Fatu is wrecking the entirety of the backstage area. Solo shows up and tells him he was just trying to help. Fatu: “For the last time, I do not need…your help.” Fatu walks off as Mateo walks up, and they stare off at Fatu leaving. Tessitore and Barrett discuss that, and then promo Worlds Collide. They mention that Raw has signed Stephanie Vaquer as they promo her tag match with parnter Lola Vice against Dalys and Chik Tormenta. El Hijo del Vikingo will take on Chad Gable (and it’s not called a title match so take that part out, apparently). El Hijo De Dr Wagner Jr, Psycho Clown and Pagano will take on Legado Del Fantasma. The main event is apparently the four-way for the North American title between champion Ethan Page, Rey Fenix, Laredo Kid, and Je’von Evans. They then promo MITB which has the women’s IC title match between champ Lyra Valkyria and challenger Becky Lynch, the two MITB matches, and Cody/Jey vs Cena/Paul.

Cody Rhodes makes his full entrance as we’re informed that wrestling has more than one royal family. Tessitore calls Cody the “QB1” of the WWE. Ease down, Joe. Cody has a mic, but the crowd decides to sing his name and I can feel my patience for this segment already waning. Knoxville is asked what they want to talk about. Cody mentions the “record crowd” they have there this evening (which Tessitore and Barrett have been talking about all night, too). Cody brings up Wrestlemania, and how he went home and medicated with some “Tennessee cough syrup”, but in his self-doubt, he reached out to a friend who helps him prepare for moments like this and he asked him “Was I a good champion?” Apparently the answer was yes, because of everything Cody dealt with both in the ring and behind the scenes (my eyebrow raises at this). Cody thought about his whole year, the fake AJ Styles retirement angle, Kevin Owens sucker punching him by his bus, his “boss” seeing something in him that even he didn’t see, and the Final Boss (the crowd boos this mention pretty openly) asking Cody for his soul. He also thought about John Cena (the crowd does the “let’s go Cena/Cena sucks” bit here – also there’s a “Cody Sucks Eggs” sign in the crowd and I’d like to make out with whoever made it).

Cena forced Cody to make a choice and he hesitated. He doesn’t know if Cena is going to ruin wrestling but if he does then Cody is partially to blame. He’s not sure if Cena’s coming out or even listening but if he is, he wants Cena to know he’s never going to hesitate again. It’s Cody’s first night back on Smackdown and he’s getting worked up, but he has a surprise. The crowd immediately starts YEET-ing. Here’s World Heavyweight Champion Jey Uso to a wickedly fired up crowd. Jey’s whole entrance, doing the YEET stuff with kids, it’s just so wildly over and I’m happy for the dude for this run (and I hope, much like Andy Bernard, he realizes he’s in the Good Old Days right goddamn now and lives it to it’s fullest). We go to commercials.

Back live and we’re still YEET-ing. Cody gets the music cut as we have about ten minutes left here. The crowd wants one more time, though, so off we go. Just then, the champ’s music hit and here’s WWE champion John Cena. Cena gets a mic (he’s in all orange too, given the location) and climbs into the ring where he stares at the crowd. Cena: “I’m upset too. If it isn’t professional wrestling’s biggest wanna-be’s.” The burn unit can stand down. He calls Cody desperate and Jey lazy. Cena talks about one other person in WWE that has Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect, and the followers to prove it and he’s here as well. Four minutes left to go and here’s Logan Paul, who Cena says “does WWE better than any professional wrestler.” He doesn’t have to pay his dues because [points at Cody and Jey] “he’s paying your mortgage”. We might need to re-engage the burn unit at this point. Cena says no one paid to see either Cody or Jey, they paid to see him and Logan Paul (shockingly, Paul mugs for the crowd). Paul asks the crowd what they’re crying about (the show is three hours long Logan). Paul says Cena speaks the truth, and that they get to witness the moment Cena stood in the ring with Logan Paul. All the crowd will live long miserable lives but they’ll at least be able to claim that. The crowd tells Paul to “shut the bleep up”. Paul says he should have left SNME with Jey’s title belt so he and Cena could both have titles at MITB (Cody and Jey haven’t said a word since Cena came out). Paul says Jey got lucky and everyone knows it including Cody. We’re now over time. Paul says that the two “nepo babies were born on third base and thought they hit a triple” while he and Cena are self-made men. Five years ago no one would have believed that Logan Paul would be in the WWE and no one would have believed he’d be tagging with the GOAT, John Cena. He tells them at MITB, if they want some, come get some. Jey finally speaks and says we don’t have to wait, we can handle it right now. Paul wants to fight but apparently Cena doesn’t, and they have words. Cody asks if they’re gonna go to the back so Paul can “polish his Peacemaker?” and now it’s on. Cena and Cody are tussling, but Cena turns into a Jey superkick, and then Cody hits his Disaster kick and Cena bails. Jey hits a springboard plancha to the outside on Cena. Paul tries a springboard lariat on Cody and misses and he eats a superkick from Jey. Uso holds Paul up, and Cody hits a Cody Cutter on Paul, and Rhodes stares down at Cena’s title belt. He picks it up and holds it over his head, the babyfaces stand tall, and we’re out as Cody’s music plays again.

Three hours is a lot, man. Decent show tonight but there’s SO much padding to get it to three hours and apparently according to reports, it’s staying at three hours for the foreseeable future. Discuss that and the show in comments and thanks for reading. Y’all be cool.