Tooned In: Batfink – Magneto the Magnificent (1967)

Stepping away again from MeTV Toons for the moment, and good, because that one ad they keep playing that uses “Rocky Mountain High” is making me feel like I’m in Final Destination.(TIMELY!) I mentioned this show when talking about Mister Magoo, in the context of the shows I remembered seeing on Nickelodeon in the nineties, so why not?

So, who is Batfink? Oddly enough, it isn’t a Batman cartoon written by Mr. Mxyzptlk. Rather, he was created by one-time Fleischer animator Hal Seeger, probably also best known for the Milton the Monster show. He was also responsible for Popeye Meets the Man Who Hated Laughter, which is an achievement in itself…for somehow being lower than the Hanna-Barbera Popeyes.

(Heck it barely even stars the sailor man! But as it was essentially a King Features Infinity War, it ends up being more like a proto-Defenders of the Earth. Considering the KFS superhero characters wind up having to rescue the comedy ones. Remind me to talk about the 80s Defenders, and how the theme HAS to have been sung by a time traveling Chris Jericho…no, just listen and tell me I’m wrong…)

As you can tell from its time frame, Batfink was made to spoof/capitalize on Batmania and the Adam West series. The titular character is an anthropomorphic bat superhero who fights crime using his Supersonic Sonar Radar and his wings which are like a shield of steel. Don’t worry about passing over this information, both are mentioned in like every episode. At the exact same parts. The series also parodies The Green Hornet a little by giving Batfink an Asian sidekick, named, in the most inspired naming since Plastic Man’s friend Hula-Hula… “Karate.”

Today’s adventure is entitled MAGNETO THE MAGNIFICENT. Hmmm…Batfink vs. a Temu Magneto? Sounds like DC vs. Marvel, plus copious amounts of mind altering substances.

Now, as I alluded to, these cartoons are VERY formulaic. TV Tropes created a list of steps they almost always follow, let’s see how close they are here.

1. A crook with a weird name steals something…

Check. Our bombastic, Desmond Doomsday knockoff narrator watches as a guy with metal gloves that attract metal robs a jewelry store. He answers the narrator and others’ questions of how this is possible with “No, it’s Magnetism!” This is “Magneto, Master of Magnetism.” I shit you not, the narrator of this show says the same. I’m shocked that Marvel’s lawyers didn’t tell Seeger “Welcome to die” on the spot.

2. The police chief calls Batfink on his TV…

Yep. With the exact same zoom-out on said bat-shaped TV, aka “The hotline!” as Batfink typically exclaims. The equally familiar shot of the Chief with his arms outstretched appears. He sounds like one of Mel Blanc’s characters with a lisp. He is concerned about Batfink’s wings being vulnerable to Magneto’s powers, but fortunately Karate searches his utility sleeve and pulls out anti-magnetism spray. In case you forgot for a moment what this was parodying. But considering Batman ‘66’s nature, would that make Batfink just a parody of a parody?

3. Batfink rides out in the Batillac, “My supersonic sonar radar will help me!” to find the villain…

That’s Batillac, which actually does “Batmobile” one better with a decent pun. Plus you’d think Bruce Wayne would be a Cadillac guy anyway. And yes, Batfink indeed sends his radar (a more or less sentient onomatopoeia of the word “BEEP”), which is magnetized by Magneto and ends up lifting the Batillac off the ground when it returns. When it drops the car, Batfink tries to express thankfulness that the Batillac had some long-winded West-ish features…but Karate just adds that it wasn’t that far off the ground anyway.

4. “Your weapons cannot harm me! My wings are like a shield of steel!”, the villain finds a loophole that lets them knock out Batfink and put him in a deathtrap…

Once more, accurate, except they’re “…like a DEMAGNETIZED shield of steel!” Too bad it wasn’t 1992 and/or there were no such things as internet memes, or else Batfink could have doubled down on X-Men ripoffs by saying Magneto’s weapons couldn’t harm him, because “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!!?” And Batfink obviously is a mutant of some sort, shouldn’t Magneto want to save him for his higher purpose? At any rate, yes, somehow the heroes become vulnerable…this time when Karate brags through recycled animation about the anti-magnetism spray, which Magneto swipes before creating a cage trapping our stereotypical friend and getting “Bathead” (an epithet my uncle and I used to call the actual Batman) in his clutches after spraying him with water to get rid of his protection. Which finally brings us to…

5. Time stops when the narrator asks if this is really the end of Batfink, it turns out it isn’t, the villain goes to jail, there’s a wrap-up joke or two in the police chief’s office.

Yes, yes, and yes. Our villain threatens Batfink with the Super Magneto Heat Generator, which may or may not have also been the name of what the WWF used in post-production for Superstars and such. Here, it’ll heat Batfink’s steel wings until they’re no more, and our hero with them. But Magneto makes the mistake of getting Karate to come closer to see his friend’s demise, and his magnetic powers end up pulling everything out of his utility sleeve, and a flying crowbar hits the heat switch to low. About the same for a 2000 Nitro (because it was a Crowbar, you see…) Only thing is, we don’t actually see Magneto defeated, almost like he was in another place after, alas, being Mystique instead. Anyway, Batfink marvels (no pun intended) at how Karate has everything but the kitchen sink in his uniform. To which he pulls a sink out and says no, he had it installed last week. No one laughs, the end.

Indeed not very different from, like, any other Batfink episode, but with a variation and gag here and there. It’s like a lot of the color Popeyes that way.