Live Feed Mania – WWF Monday Night Raw 02/16/98

WWF @ Dallas, TX – Reunion Arena – February 16, 1998 (13,296; sell out)

It’s the night after No Way Out Of Texas and we’ve got even more Live Feed goodness courtesy of Donkey Kong’s brother himself, Richard Land!

Oh and we’re starting straight away with the show itself, no Shotgun tapings. J.R. says there’s a rumour going around that D-X are going to pursue a lawsuit against Austin for his actions on Chyna! I’m sure Austin would never put his hands on a woman like that.

The Legion of Doom vs. The Quebecers

We’re two months away from LOD rebranding as LOD 2000 but they get a big, meaty pop here even with Michael Cole saying they’re getting old and time may have caught up with them. Kevin Kelly defends their win/loss record by saying the numbers have been against them. Where’s Rocco when you need him? Quebecers are hot off a loss to The Godwinns the night before. J.R. calls them an outstanding team but they’ve only just returned to WWF a month ago and have already lost to Los Boricuas and The Headbangers.

Hawk runs over Jacques but he kips up and dropkicks him down. Jacques gets cocky and repeatedly kips up until Hawk lariats what’s left of his hair off his head. Pierre declines to get in and wrestle with Hawk so he nonchalantly tags in Animal as the crowd chant “USA” to show their disapproval of such cowardly tactics. Hawk prevents the Amazing Brave Canadians from running away as J.R. calls Pierre a “young prodigy with a magnificent future ahead of him” which was a good prediction. Hawk makes him run the ropes and tries to tire him out which seems ill-advised for the OLD as Pierre knocks him down. Animal ignores it and slams Pierre into running away scared, which is a good way for the Doomers to get their breath back while keeping the heat on. Jacques wants a test-of-strength with Animal but ends up getting monkey flipped. Hawk lands the flying shoulder block but The Quebecers start double teaming to get Animal outside so PCO can do PCO things and land a rolling swanton off the apron.

Immediately after this, the New Age Outlaws show up with a dumpster to shove Hawk into which the ref hilariously somehow misses despite the hugeness of it. The Outlaws sit on the lid so they can have a good view of the action and keep Hawk down. Animal makes a comeback, only to realise his mate’s in a bin so he abandons the match to chase the NAO and save his smelly mate, losing via count out at 6:13.

Probably would have made more sense to have the LOD lose here but that wasn’t the easiest thing in the world even in 1998. Match was dumb fun while it lasted and a good way to open a Raw.

During the break, J.R. advises Kevin Kelly to say D-X will be with us next week, but advises him to not say they’ll be here live. Ah. They do the hyping but Ross is not happy with how it so they do it again, complete with a frustrated “goddamit” from J.R. They do it again successfully despite a fan yelling “YEAH FUCKIN DX WOOOOOO” behind them.

Ken Shamrock vs. Sniper (w/Recon & The Jackyl)

Crowd are very happy to see Ken Shamrock. Sniper’s the guy who was Rambo, Recon’s Bull Buchanan and they’d all be done by April.

We get clips of Steve Blackman beating Sniper last week despite The Jackyl being lowered from the ceiling while cutting a promo. At least his double-take reaction was funny.

Sniper is a head taller than Shamrock which is probably how he got the job despite being rubbish. J.R. emphasizes that Shamrock is not beefing with The Truth Commission, he’s got issues with The Nation. Yes, please don’t look too deeply into this match. Jackyl is commentating as the others want to know how he’s able to treat his subordinates like this. No-one cares about The Commission so why would anyone care about their boss being a dick to them? Shamrock rolls into the Ankle Lock early but Sniper frantically grabs the ropes to put over the deadly nature of the hold. Sniper’s able to send Ken outside so Recon can send him into the guardrail. Ken comes back with a flying crossbody which is an odd sight for Ken but Sniper is tall enough for a really small person to stand on his head and snipe people from a distance. Crowd gets behind Shamrock so he makes a comeback with a snap powerslam and a calf kick. Ken effortlessly takes him down with an armbar before transitioning into the Ankle Lock for the immediate tap at 5:17.

The Commission stink but the aim here was to make the crowd want to see Shamrock tap one of them out and he did that, so like the M23 rebellion it was mission accomplished.

Oh then Jackyl slaps Sniper for continuing to suck with Recon trying to stop him from attacking him.

During the break we get some practice shots from outside the arena. Oh and Jerry Lawler gets ready for the next segment by sitting in the ring and insulting the ungrateful fans for not cheering him loud enough. If they don’t cheer louder, he’ll leave. J.R. adds “and he means it too!”

Marc Mero and Sable head down to be interviewed because last night they were having issues. Lawler knows all about failed relationships so he asks why these two what’s up. Mero claims he was up in hospital having reconstruction surgery when he turned on Raw to see Sable wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt. I mean that’s a fair point. Mero says Sable knows her place now and denies being pushed over by Sable, he merely slipped. Some flowers arrive for Sable which infuriates Mero so he wants to know who they’re from. Sable butchers the delivery of her line where she’s supposed to say “these are mine?” but says it like “these are MINE!” and storms off because she was honestly one of the worst on the mic during a time all you needed to do was yell something about ass to get cheered.

During the break J.R. compliments the size of the house tonight.

Then we get a Jim Cornette rant against the fans for demanding real wrestlers and then booing his NWA superstars. “We’re going to tell you what you’re going to like and you’re going to like it with a smile on your face.” More prophetic statements. J.R. says he doesn’t remember the war of ’84 but remembers having a good time. Ha!

NWA World Tag Team Champions Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson vs. The Headbangers

Special Guest Ref assigned by the NWA is Tommy Young because he’s officiated more NWA Tag Title matches than anyone else. And…sure enough that’s Tommy!

We must still be on a break because J.R. starts doing his Gordon Solie impression. “Ah the Cornette ah must weigh ah at least 295 after those seven Whataburgers for lunch.” Ross kills me with these. “Tommy Young the uh valedictorian of the ah Earl & Dave Hebner referee school. Class of ’58.”

Rock & Roll don’t last too long before getting blasted in the corner with monkey flips. The Express head outside as there’s no real commentary as I wonder how this aired. “Ah the bulbous Cornette who weighed in ah tonight at 298 1/4” continues Ross who is enjoying this match more than anyone else in the arena. The Headbangers give their opponents nothing until Ricky’s Manhattan Drop sets up some rising knees. A flying chop off the top gets two as the crowd wonders when the punch line to this joke is coming. Double DDT turns the tide for The Headbangers before they nearly murder Ricky when they go for a flapjack that nearly spikes him before really spiking him with the Stage Dive Powerbomb/Leg Drop combo directly to his face. Poor bastard. Thrasher goes for the pin but Mosh launches Robert over the ropes so Tommy stops the count at two so he can DQ them because NWA RULES BABY at 4:04.

Crowd are more bemused than annoyed. I don’t get what the NWA invasion was supposed to accomplish even with Cornette and legends showing up, but J.R.’s not-for-TV commentary had me rolling so there was that.

J.R. continues his verbal assault by telling the fans behind him that Cornette is suffering from belly ache. A passionate Ross appreciates the camera shot showing how many people are in the arena tonight. “My God it’s like Wembley Stadium. Look at the humanity.”

Lawler joins the commentary booth as the crowd are continuing to chant “Rocky Sucks.” J.R. has switched to a Davey Brown impression. Oh never mind that, it’s this segment!

The Rock wants to clear up a few things. First, he’s still YOUR IC Champion. Secondly, there’s absolutely no dissension in the Nation and he’s here to provide them with gifts. Lawler and Ross joke that he bought some watches from Plowboy Frazier.

To earn additional money, Frazier was known for selling replica Rolex watches and other inexpensive merchandise, and he operated a shoe store.

Ah.

Rock offers them solid gold Rolexes and Lawler laughs “oh they are watches!” So all The Nation get lovely gifts…including Faarooq who gets some compliments (“you’re the best thing since an egg white omelette”) and unwraps a giant framed photo of The Rock. Before he can properly respond, Steve Blackman and his dodgy white top interrupt.

Steve Blackman vs. Faarooq

Rock hangs around the hard cam area dusting off his photo of himself while everyone ignores the action in-ring.

Faarooq lands the Dominator quickly but realises The Rock is holding the photo up and blocking the camera, so Faarooq tries to grab it and use it as a weapon but Rock grabs it back allowing Blackman to roll up the ruler of The Nation at 1:33.

The rest of The Nation join us in the ring (wearing their Rolexes) while Faarooq attacks the picture, greatly upsetting The Rock. “What’s wrong with you???” A distraught Rock is left trying to piece the photo together while yelling “It’s me! It’s me!!” as J.R. says “that was a very good segment!” He’s right, a wonderful part of a soon-to-be-legendary rise up the ranks.

J.R. gets in the ring to remind us Austin stunnered Chyna for the first time last night via video on the titantron. Not the TV audience though as they were still shilling the PPV replay.

Austin heads out to a typically insane pop. J.R. wants to know why Austin did what he did, with Austin explaining if you enter these ropes then your ass belongs to Austin. “You’re lucky I was in such a good mood.” Austin doesn’t mind that HBK wasn’t there last night because he wants him at his best so there’s no excuses at Wrestlemania. Also Mike Tyson had better watch himself or he’ll turn his gold tooth into a necklace cos “the shit’s on!” Austin could have made fart noises with his mouth and the crowd would have still cheered him like their lost Dad returning from buying cigarettes.

Oh and apparently that’s the end of the TSN broadcast as Lawler says bye-bye to Canada.

WWF European Champion Owen Hart vs. NWA North American Champion Jeff Jarrett (w/ Jim Cornette, Barry Windham & The Rock & Roll Express)

“Now sponsored by the Aztec Nation” dead-pans J.R. as Jeff Jarrett heads out wearing that anime villain gear. The proud WWF referee sends the entire NWA contingent backstage so Owen can clothesline Jarrett outside. Owen gets two from a top rope crossbody so Cornette trips him on a charge because apparently he’s able to stay out there. Jarrett busts out the strut. Lawler: “Jackie Fargo is spinning in his grave.” J.R. “He’s dead?” Lawler: “No but if he saw that it’d kill him.”

Owen misses a crossbody and ends up outside so Cornette gets a few kicks in. This only maddens Owen who chases him into the ring which allows Jarrett to get a DDT in the confusion. It only gets two so Jarrett locks in the sleeper. Lawler: “You don’t see the sleeper too much anymore. If you’re not trying to kill the guy every thirty seconds, they chant boring.” Oof. Pin attempts are exchanged but it’s the NWA invasion after an Austin segment so crowd are struggling to care. Commentators laugh at how much Cornette is sweating. Double knock down causes Ross to claim Owen gets his hair cut at one of those free barber colleges. Owen crotches Jarrett in the ring post and the crowd very much appreciates that. Missile dropkick by Owen kickstarts a comeback with a Sharpshooter being broken up by Cornette for the DQ at 5:29 but Jim takes the hold for a giant pop. Jarrett attempts to use the racket but Owen prevents *that* so everyone rolls away while the commentators mock Cornette. “And ah the uh Academy Award for over-acting goes ah to…”

Ross says “Cornette told me one time he prefers pizza to sex” to which Ross yells “No!!”

Ross lets the proud Texans know that the Freebird himself, Michael PS Hayes will be the guest ring announcer for the following match. Crowd goes wild which is nice. Oh and he makes his entrance to Badstreet! Tony Chimel announces him as “Dok Hendrix” still because kayfabe. I always appreciate areas like Texas appreciating the legends.

Oh sadly for Dox here comes Kane. Hayes at least removes his boot and attempts to bash Kane with it but that goes as well as Hayes’ karaoke so Kane tombstones him and continues to look like the coolest thing in the world.

During the break, refs and road agents help Dok outside as Ross mocks him. “A polite response for Dok’s death march.”

A really loud fan won’t stop screaming for Austin so Ross dead-pans “ain’t nothing worse than a drunken Texan.”

Sunny heads out to introduce the following tag match because she was just kind-of around before the LOD 2000 thing.

WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku & Aguila vs. Brian Christopher & Piratita Morgan

Ross yells Christopher doesn’t have a driver’s licence or a wedding “cos he lost them in A STRIP BAR!” Lawler laughs and says yeah he came up with a bogus story when he came home but we don’t hear the rest because of TAKA’s entrance. Sunny hits on Brian Christopher because he’s too sex(a)y.

Aguila tries some awkward flips while the crowd chants “Jerry’s Kid!” Morgan gets sent outside from a Frankensteiner leading to Aguila landing a sweet running skytwister to take out Morgan & Christopher. Sexy tags in and demands TAKA because he wants the champ. TAKA absolutely batters him with Sexay hamming it up as only he can while TAKA lands a smooth Orihara Moonsault to the outside. Sexay lands a crazy Sunset Flip Powerbomb to poor TAKA who absolutely smacks concrete with the back of his head. Christopher checks his pulse while laughing. Lawler also joins in the laughing and sadly for TAKA that wouldn’t be the last time Jerry would be amused at TAKA slamming into concrete. Brian laughs and works over TAKA like a bastard until Morgan tags back in and TAKA’s able to deliver a Frankensteiner off the top. They are taking all the bumps here but the crowd are getting restless. Aguila sends an interfering Brian outside allowing TAKA to land the Michinoku Driver for the pin at 5:38. Brian immediately blames his crappy partner.

Anyway this was seemingly building towards TAKA vs. Christopher but instead we got TAKA vs. Aguila at Wrestlemania for reasons I don’t recall.

Oh and then a moment that was tape-traded for quite a while: Sunny half-moons the audience as she’s leaving the arena. Ross “Oh my, I think she dropped her drawers!”

TAKFA Goldust (w/ Luna Vachon) & Marc Mero vs. Cactus Jack & Terry Funk

TAFKA is dressed in Goldust attire rather than the gimp gear we’d get later on. Sable’s absence is noted by the commentators. The hardcore legends get a lovely pop as all the Texans know who Chainsaw Charlie is.

Once the ref has politely removed the chainsaw from Funk, he goes after Goldust yelling that he knows his Dad and he hates him too. Goldust tries a technical kiss to the mouth but Funk punches away. Mero and Funk slug away and it’s quite the sight to see the former boxer take on one of the best punchers in wrestling history. Mero wins the exchange but the crowd throw him off by chanting for Sable. Cactus tags in to do some actual wrestling with drop toe holds and wristlocks. Funk lands a piledriver on Mero but Goldust helps sneak attacks to help him to shrug it off. While Goldust is going at it with Funk, Sable heads out with her flowers to annoy Mero. Meanwhile, Luna tears the flowers apart with Mero holding Sable back. Ref tries to intervene so Cactus splats Goldust with a chair to allow Funk to win a match the fans have stopped paying attention to at 4:15 as the women go at it in the ring while the refs struggle to stop them and that’s all we have time for folks!

Also happened but wasn’t recorded:

John Tenta defeated Mike Davis

Shotgun – 02/21/98 – hosted by Jim Ross & Jim Cornette

Brian Christopher pinned Tony Williams at 4:12 with the Tennessee Jam

Kurrgan (w/ the Jackyl) pinned Ced-Man at 3:16 with the claw; after the bout, Kurrgan dragged Ced-Man backstage with the claw still applied

Pantera pinned Felino at 4:39 with a hurricanrana

Barry Windham (the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express & Jeff Jarrett) pinned Tom Brandi at 3:32 with the lariat; after the bout, Bradshaw challenged Windham to a fight, with Windham and his cohorts quickly leaving the ring when Bradshaw charged to the ring

Mark Henry & D’Lo Brown defeated Bill Irwin & Kit Carson when D’Lo pinned Carson at 4:06 with a splash off the top
Chainz, Skull, & 8-Ball defeated Jesus Castillo, Jose Estrada, Jr., & Savio Vega via disqualification at around the 7-minute mark when Miguel Perez interfered as Chainz was pinning Castillo following a DVD; after the bout, DOA cleared the ring

Dark match after the taping: Steve Austin & the Legion of Doom defeated WWF Tag Team Champions Billy Gunn & the Road Dogg, & WWF IC Champion the Rock when Austin pinned Rock with the Stunner

Overall: Hey any feed with a happy J.R. doing impressions during the commercials is worth a recommendation from me.

I’ve been Maffew.