Mike Reviews WWE Royal Rumble 2003

Happy Rumbling Friday Everyone!

With knowledge that WWE Network/Peacock might soon go away (I’m writing this in 2024) I decided to look to my DVD/VHS collection so that I’ll have SOMETHING to fall back on if the Network goes kaput anytime soon. Hence we’ve got a review of Royal Rumble 2003 because I have all of the 2003 WWE PPV shows on DVD.

Business was down in WWE at the time of this Royal Rumble show, as the Attitude Era was long over and the likes of Rock and Austin were either guest stars or just gone in general, meaning more pressure was being placed on the shoulders of the likes of Triple H, Undertaker and Kurt Angle to both steady the ship and also try to get a new crop of stars over. Some of them were better at that than others of course…

You can view the full card for Royal Rumble 2003 by clicking below;

WWE Royal Rumble 2003 Card

Pictures come courtesy of IMDB

Royal Rumble 2003 is emanating from Boston, Massachusetts on the 19th of January 2003

Calling the action are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, whilst Michael Cole and Tazz handle things for SmackDown

We get the usual dramatic opening video package where the wrestlers talk about how important it is to win tonight, be it in the Royal Rumble or in a Title match.

TRUSTcompany’s “Falling Apart” is left intact as the pay per view theme here, which is a nice bonus being that I quite like that song.

Opening Match
Luchas de Apuestas
Winner Enters The Royal Rumble
The Big Show w/ Paul Heyman Vs “The Next Big Thing” Brock Lesnar

Lesnar was cheated out of his SmackDown Title against Big Show back at Survivor Series when Heyman betrayed him, so tonight Lesnar has a chance for vengeance on Big Show and also a chance to enter the Royal Rumble itself so that he can potentially have a shot at Kurt Angle, who is one of Heyman’s other clients. Lesnar is very over here, as these two do their usual match built around Lesnar being able to do the sort of moves and attacks to Big Show that most others can’t (such as overhead belly to belly suplexes), whilst Big Show throws Lesnar around in ways no one else on the roster can (with Lesnar showing off his athleticism when bumping around). Lesnar gets the better of things in the early going until Big Show flings Lesnar over the top rope down to the floor, which is not only a brutal way to cut someone off in a match but it would also constitute an elimination in the Royal Rumble match itself. If that’s intentional then it’s quite a clever bit of storytelling.

Lesnar sells well during the heat, with Big Show mostly sticking to throwing Lesnar around whilst Lesnar does all the bumping and posting. It’s a decent heat segment and the crowd sticks with Lesnar and cheers whenever Lesnar gets a hope spot and looks like he might fight back. Lesnar eventually gets some more suplexes and then drags Heyman into the ring for good measure too. Lesnar tries to end Heyman with the F-5, but Big Show prevents that with a Choke Slam in a really good near fall, as that was a very viable potential finishing sequence and the crowd bought into it. Big Show tries to end things with another Choke Slam, but Lesnar manages to slip behind and runs the Heels into one another before getting an F-5 onto Big Show for three to cap off an entergetic opener.

WINNER: BROCK LESNAR
RATING: ***

Thoughts: This was a fun power match that the crowd was into, with Big Show getting one very good near fall that the crowd bit on, which made the reaction for Lesnar’s eventual victory all the louder as the audience felt like it might get taken away from them

Terri Runnels is interviewing Chris Jericho backstage. Jericho is annoyed that Shawn Michaels is #1 in the Royal Rumble, because Jericho wanted that slot for himself. However, Jericho is a former Undisputed Champion, which Shawn isn’t, and it’s Jericho’s destiny to win the World Title again at WrestleMania XIX. This was a solid promo from Jericho.

Match Two
Raw Tag Team Titles
Champs: Lance T. Storm and William bloody Regal Vs The Dudley Boyz (D-Von and Bubba Ray)

Storm and Regal had been lackies for Eric Bischoff and Sean Morley, and it had led to them winning the tag belts. The Dudleyz had reformed in the autumn and were looking to win the tag belts again after not having them for over a year. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler had been feuding with the Tag Champs during the build to this show, so both Storm and Regal give the commentary team the old stink eye whilst making their entrance. Storm and Regal liked using brass knuckles as their international object of choice at the time, so referee Nick Patrick searches both of them thoroughly before the match starts. They work this one at a quick clip in the early going, with The Dudleyz getting the babyface shine and looking good doing so, whilst the Tag Champs take some nice bumps in order to make the challengers look like viable winners.

Storm ends up illegally helping from the apron though, which gives us the heat segment on D-Von. D-Von sells that well and the Champs mostly keep the pace up whilst working him over, so it’s a solid section of the match that doesn’t get too dull. The crowd reactions aren’t quite as loud during the heat as they were in the shine, as it seems like the fans are into seeing the Champs getting bumped around but they aren’t as enthused with getting behind a selling babyface in order to build to the hot tag. Bubba eventually gets the hot tag for instance, but the reactions aren’t quite what you’d want them to be, even though Bubba does a very good action packed sequence of offence and the Champs both continue to take great bumps for everything.

Bubba’s sit-out Full Nelson Slam does eventually get the crowd to react though, as does the promise of the 3D. However, before The Dudleyz can hit the move; Sean Morley runs down to distract the challengers and referee to seemingly set them up for a Regal brass knuckles attack. The Dudleyz see that coming though and manage to catch Regal with the 3D, before then clocking Morley for good measure. As the referee deals with Morley; D-Von dis-arms Regal and uses the knux on Storm for the three count. That would end up biting The Dudleyz in the bum though, as Morley would do the Dusty Finish on Raw due to the use of the brass knuckles. Dudleyz have no one to blame but themselves there either, as they could have easily won that without the knuckles as Regal was toast and Storm was basically defenceless.

WINNERS AND NEW CHAMPIONS: THE DUDLEY BOYZ
RATING: **1/4

Thoughts: This one was lacking crowd interest, but it was pacey for the most part and the action inside the ring was solid overall. The finish was a bit sloppy, but it was an okay undercard bout

We get a great vignette for Nathan Jones, as we get clips of Jones in a prison whilst news footage plays about his arrest. This is all capped off by the playing of his really foreboding entrance music in the background. If only Jones could have backed all this hype up in the ring, as these were some of the best debut vignettes WWE did for a wrestler during this period.

We get a video package to recap the, frankly insane, feud between Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson.

Match Three
Stepmother Vs Stepdaughter
Dawn Marie-Wilson Vs Torrie Wilson

This was one of the worst storylines that SmackDown had going on at the time, but it apparently did decent ratings so we all had to be subjected to it. Basically; Dawn and Torrie were feuding so Dawn decided to really wind Torrie up by dating Torrie’s elderly father, Al. This led to Dawn and Al getting married, but then things took a tragic turn when Dawn banged Al so much on the honeymoon that the poor bugger expired. Dawn then beat Torrie up at Al’s funeral, leading to this match being set up. And yes, all of that actually happened. Welcome to 2003 WWE folks! Despite the wild storyline to set this one up, the crowd doesn’t really care about it, especially as I’m not sure if we’re supposed to think Dawn’s grief is genuine or not.

You’d have to think that if this was all a plot by Dawn to ruin Torrie’s life then she’d be revelling in Al’s death in order to really get under Torrie’s skin, but Dawn is instead really subdued and angry, which suggests that she is actually sad that Al died. Dawn even yells “that’s for your father!” whilst she works Torrie over, and she seems to mean it too, which kind of suggests that she is actually upset about Al’s death and isn’t just doing it to play mind games. Dawn is actually working very hard to have a proper match here, but the crowd doesn’t really care and Torrie ends up catching Dawn with a Neck Breaker OUTTA NOWHERE for the three count. It’s a bit of a hollow win for Torrie though as she got dominated for pretty much the entire match and, you know, her Dad is still dead and all. What a dumb feud.

WINNER: TORRIE WILSON
RATING: *

Thoughts: Dawn was actually working really hard here and did a couple of nice moves, including a Fujiwara Arm Bar and a jumping back clothesline off the second rope, so it wasn’t a COMPLETE disaster once the bell rang. It wasn’t especially good either though, and the crowd went from initial disinterest to pretty much turning on the whole thing the longer it went on. Thankfully I think the feud was essentially done with following this as they instead started building around Torrie being in Playboy

Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff have their usual pay per view argument, whilst Randy Orton gets a cameo in a pleasant brown jacket. Stephanie seems pretty convinced that Vince McMahon will be firing Sleazy E soon, but Bischoff would end up outlasting Stephanie when it came to GM duties.

Sean O’Haire doesn’t think you should go to church, as God might not even exist. Hey, he’s not telling you anything you don’t know already. Like Nathan Jones earlier, this was a character where they built it up really well with the vignettes but then it just didn’t workout once O’Haire started wrestling.

We get a video package for the next match, covering all the one-upmanship in the feud between Triple H and Scott Steiner, as Steiner defeated Tri in a series of challenges such as arm-wrestling and pose down’s (although HHH technically won the pose down but it was down to the fans to decide and obviously they were going to pick the babyface). This all ended with Steiner doing the classic angle of tearing off the Heel’s fancy suit, which is something Ric Flair famously had Ricky Steamboat do to him on at least two occasions.

Match Four
Raw World Title
Champ: “The Game” Triple H w/ “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair Vs “The Big Bad Booty Daddy” Scott Steiner

Steiner had signed with WWE in the autumn of 2002 and had gotten quite over, despite suffering from a serious case of Drop Foot that made moving difficult for him. They’d smartly kept Steiner out of working matches and just had him cut promos and beat people up in angles, but now it’s Royal Rumble and Steiner finally has to do a proper match. I’m sure an experienced in-ring pro like Triple H will be capable of crafting a match that hides Steiner’s weaknesses and extenuates his strengths so that they can have the most entertaining match possible though right? Right?? Why are you all looking at me like that?! They make Earl Hebner do the big “I want a good clean fight” bit before the bell goes, as they are attempting to make this feel like a big deal at least.

This one is actually a totally fine slugfest to start, although you can already tell early on that Steiner isn’t too steady on his feet. Steiner sticks to punches, chops and clotheslines, with HHH actually taking some nice bumps for it all. Tri actually sells really well for Steiner early on, and he’s a serviceable enough human pin-ball for Steiner that the challenger kind of just has to stand there without chasing the Champ around too much. Steiner even gets to no sell HHH’s trademark knee-based face buster at one stage as, despite my earlier snark, they’ve actually crafted a reasonably decent match here that has hidden Steiner’s deficiencies as much as possible. Eventually Flair causes a distraction and that allows Tri to get the cut off, giving us our heat segment.

Now if they just did a quick heat segment, let Steiner make a quick comeback, and then went straight to the planned DQ finish with Flair running in or something then this would have been a totally fine 6-8 minute match that did a serviceable job of protecting Steiner whilst laying the table for a rematch going forwards should they choose to do one. However, they instead decide that they need to do roughly ten extra minutes on top of that, even though Steiner doesn’t have the stamina or move-set to pull that kind of match off, and things start to gradually go off the rails. What’s worse is that the crowd starts to turn on it the longer it goes as well, especially when Steiner just keeps delivering the same suplex over and over again.

Of course when Brock Lesnar started doing that gimmick 12 years later then it would get really over, to the point that it would be known as “Suplex City”, but Steiner gets an increasingly negative reaction for it here, especially when he makes a right hopscotch of an underhook suplex at one stage. After a certain point you just start to think like HHH is almost trying to make Steiner look bad, as it’s totally the wrong kind of match for Steiner to be working at this point in his career due to his physical limitations and Tri had to know that? I think you can demonstrably state that he did, because when he wrestled Kevin Nash later in the year, they did basically the same story at Judgment Day and they kept the match down to a svelte 7 minutes in order to hide the fact that Kevin Nash couldn’t really do anything.

Triple H eventually tries to just flee the match, but Steiner drags the Champ back and even busts HHH open at one stage when he clatters HHH in the face with the Title belt whilst the ref is busy yelling at Ric Flair. Triple H tries getting himself DQ’ed back in the ring following that, but Earl Hebner refuses to stop the bout and it continues on, much to fans’ consternation. Steiner is so tired at this stage that he can barely throw punches anymore, as he can barely move to begin with and he’s had to lug that muscular frame around for 15 minutes whilst also flinging around a 260-90 pound opponent. Tri almost wins it with a low blow and roll-up, as the fans aren’t cheering for anyone at this stage and are just booing everything. HHH decides to clock Steiner with his trusty sledgehammer following that, and that’s finally enough for Hebner to call a DQ.

WINNER BY DQ: SCOTT STEINER (TRI RETAINS)
RATING: *3/4

Thoughts: This was pretty much fine for the first 6 minutes or so, and if they’d just shortened the run time from the 17 minutes we got to something more manageable, this might have been an okay outing that set something up for later. However, once we hit the 10 minute mark Steiner was DONE and every second they went longer just exposed that more and more. Did Triple H just think his carrying skills were better than they were, or was this just a case of outright sabotage? I guess I’ll leave that up to you to decide. Steiner’s chances of being a long term Main Eventer were always going to be slim due to the litany of physical issues he had at the time, but this match sped up his descent into the mid-card significantly, and after being signed with great fanfare he didn’t even have a match at WrestleMania XIX. The crowd turning on Steiner here was absolutely brutal, and you felt like they were just waiting to do it too, possibly due to some ingrained anti-WCW bias? Or maybe they just saw through the protective booking of Steiner during the build-up to the Royal Rumble and the resulting bout just reaffirmed the doubts they already had? Regardless, this wasn’t the absolute DISASTER I remembered it being back in 2003, but it certainly wasn’t good either

Steiner rallies to beat up both Triple H and Flair following the match, but the crowd just boos all of it, which is kind of a problem when we’re supposed to think that Steiner is a wronged babyface who deserves another shot at the Champ.

Match Five
SmackDown World Title
Champ: “The American Hero” Kurt Angle Vs “The Crippler” Chris Benoit

These two had been SmackDown Tag Champs in the autumn, but that alliance has crumbled and now they are feuding again, with Angle as the Heel and Benoit as the babyface. Benoit cut some very good promos in the build to this match getting across how important it was to him to be the Champ, and it led to an organic groundswell of support for him at the time, even amongst the regular fans who didn’t care about work rate and just saw a hardworking character who wanted to achieve his dream. Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin had recently debuted as backup for Angle, but they get all shove-like with Benoit before the bell, so the referee sends them to the back and that means we get a one on one match. This one differs a lot from the previous match, as whereas Triple H Vs Steiner was more of a powerhouse brawl, this one is more of a quick paced technical contest, which helps differentiate the Raw and SmackDown Titles.

Angle had a kayfabe (and possibly even real) knee injury at the time due to Brock Lesnar flinging him appendage first into the ring post on an episode of SmackDown, so Angle has the right knee heavily braced and Benoit tries to target it in the early going. There are plenty of strikes being thrown, with Benoit of course delivering some trademark chops, so it’s not just grappling on the mat. That is made all the clearer when the two fight on the apron at one stage and Benoit delivers a snug looking DDT out there, which causes the crowd to “Oooohhh” along to it. The work of both wrestler’s is really good, with the moves being executed crisply, the selling and bumping being on point from both as well, and the action being fought at a quick clip with both competitors being capable of keeping the pace up. Angle does go to a modified chin lock at one stage, but both wrestlers look they are fighting one another whilst it’s applied, so it feels more like a working hold rather than a rest hold.

The crowd gets into this one in a way that they just didn’t for the Raw World Title match, as you can see that even when they aren’t making a lot of noise they are watching the bout intently and are digging it. This is hardly a totally hardcore fan crowd either, it’s the usual WWE attendees, and they’re totally happy watching these two smaller more technically minded competitors having a good old fashioned wrestling match here, which is probably why WWE eventually decided to take a chance on Benoit as the World Champ in 2004, because he was able to carry enough respect from the non-hardcore element of the fan base that he would be viable in that role. The reactions from the crowd when both battlers are going for their respective submission holds (ankle lock for Angle, crossface for Benoit) show that WWE had done a good job at the time of getting those holds over and letting fans know that even grapplers near the top of the card could actually tap out in big match situations.

Some of the near falls and submission teases during the closing stretch are fantastically done, with the crowd biting on quite a few of them. Angle takes another wacky huge bump when he takes a German Suplex by essentially doing a standing Moonsault and landing right on his FACE, which gives us a Benoit Headbutt off the top. However, Benoit sells that the move hurt him as well, which delays him in making the cover and allows Angle to kick out without making the move look weak. The crowd still bought that near fall too, even though it took Benoit so long to make the cover. Angle manages to fire back with an Olympic Slam following that, but Benoit now gets his big kickout and it gets possibly the loudest reaction of the night thus far. Benoit manages to catch Angle with the crossface in the middle, and the crowd is losing it, but Angle manages to counter to the ankle lock and then grapevines the legs for possibly the first time, which is too much for Benoit to survive and that’s our submission ending.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: KURT ANGLE
RATING: *****

Thoughts: That version of the ankle lock with the hooks locked in basically became an invincible hold for a while, as it took years for someone to actually survive it without being near the ropes. This match was fantastic, as the work was on point and crowd was really invested in the drama of the bout, with the submission teases and near falls at the end being especially impressive. Angle had been a top level star in WWE for quite a while, but Benoit hadn’t really reached that level himself, so a competitive match like this helped Benoit’s standing significantly, even though he didn’t win in the end. I also loved that we got a bout with no gaga and a clean finish, as it was an excellent pallet cleanser following the nonsense in the previous contest. I totally get if what Benoit did at the end of his life takes the sheen off a match like this for you, as there’s no defence for what he did and your feelings are valid. However, if you can successfully separate the art from the artist, then this is one of the best matches WWE had in the first half of the 00’s. You got great wrestling, great storytelling and an invested crowd that dug everything. I’m more than happy to slap the Full Monty on it!

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin come down to celebrate with Angle following the bout.

Benoit gets a standing ovation following the bout, even though he lost, which was pretty much the moment he went from being just an over guy in the mid-card to actually kind of being a genuine star in his own right.

Kane tells Rob Van Dam that RVD is one heck of a tag team partner, but Kane will throw RVD out of the Royal Rumble tonight if it means he can win the match. RVD is cool with that, and he’ll be doing the same.

Main Event
The Royal Rumble
“The Japanese Buzzsaw” Yoshihiro Tajiri Vs Matt Hardy Version 1.0 w/ Shannon Moore Vs B-2 Vs Rikishi Vs Maven Vs “The Big Red Freak” Kane Vs Rosey w/ Rico Vs “The Innovator of Violence” Tommy Dreamer Vs “Latino Heat” Eddy Guerrero Vs Charlie Haas Vs The A-Train Vs Rey Mysterio Jr Vs “The Five Time WCW Champion” Booker T Vs “The Next Big Thing” Brock Lesnar Vs “The Doctor of Thuganomics” John Cena Vs “The King of the World” Chris Jericho Vs The Undertaker Vs “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels Vs Christian Vs Shelton Benjamin Vs “The Harvard Graduate” Christopher Nowinski Vs “The Whole Dam Show” Rob Van Dam Vs Jeff Hardy Vs Chavo Guerrero Jr Vs Bill DeMott Vs Goldust Vs Edge Vs Batista Vs Test Vs Jamal w/ Rico

On the off chance any of you have never seen a Royal Rumble Match before (unlikely, but every review can always be someone’s first I guess), we start with two wrestlers in the ring and then every 60-120 seconds later (depending on what WWE wants to go with) a new wrestler will enter until 30 have entered in total. Elimination occurs by being thrown over the top rope to the floor. Both of your feet have to touch the floor in order for you to be eliminated.

Entrant #1
Shawn Michaels enters The Royal Rumble

Entrant #2
Chris Jericho enters The Royal Rumble

So the deal here is that Shawn wants to recreate his victory from 1995 when he won the Royal Rumble entering at #1. Jericho was feuding with Shawn at the time though, so he wanted the #1 slot as well but then had to settle on being #2 instead. However, Jericho gets one over on Shawn by having Christian pretend to be Jericho during the entrance. This allows Jericho to sneak up on a distracted Shawn and put a brutal beatdown on ol’ HBK, including a chair shot at one stage. Shawn sells all of that really well and even does a gory bladejob in order to really get it over.

Entrant #3
Christopher Nowinski enters The Royal Rumble

Nowinski was a snooty Harvard graduate who liked to make fun of wrestling fans for being dumb. Something something fish in a barrel. Anyway, Nowinski shows that he is indeed quite intelligent, as he decides to hang back and allow Jericho to continue working Shawn over, which leads to Jericho dumping HBK out of the match. The crowd seems genuinely shocked at that, as they thought Shawn would find a way to hang on. It’s a really good subversion of expectations actually.

Chris Jericho (1) eliminates Shawn Michaels

Entrant #4
Rey Mysterio Jr enters The Royal Rumble

Rey runs wild on Jericho, although there is a moment where they have a miscommunication. Rey does get to do a really good elimination tease where he hangs off the ring post at one stage though.

Entrant #5
Edge enters The Royal Rumble

Edge and Rey had recently been SmackDown Tag Champs, so they work as a team for a bit and clear the ring of the Heels, although neither of the villains are eliminated. That gives us an Edge Vs Rey section, and it’s good fun, with Edge doing a nailbiter of an elimination tease at one stage by having both feet dangling centimetres from the floor.

Entrant #6
Christian enters The Royal Rumble

Christian tries to form an alliance with kayfabe brother Edge here, but Edge isn’t interested and he Spears his brother in a funny spot. Nowinski tries to throw out both Rey and Edge following that, but they hold on and he doesn’t notice. Nowinski of course turns around to celebrate his “double elimination”, but that allows Rey and Edge to climb up opposite turnbuckles and deliver the double Missile Dropkick that would prematurely end Nowinski’s career, as Edge lands right on Nowinski’s face and that lead to a series of concussions that caused Nowinski’s early retirement. It’s a shame as that spot was actually quite funny due to the gag of the supposedly smartest guy in the ring being dumb enough to turn his back on two opponents like that, but the fact it went awry and caused a career ending injury took the shine off it considerably.

Entrant #7
Chavo Guerrero Jr enters The Royal Rumble

Chavo and Rey of course do a quick bit together, and it’s very entertaining, as you’d expect from them due to their level of chemistry together. Rey goes 6-1-9 crazy on both Chavo and Christian, before then giving Nowinski a rana to the floor to eliminate him.

Rey Mysterio Jr (1) eliminates Christopher Nowinski

Rey doesn’t get much time to enjoy his handiwork though, as Jericho quickly clotheslines Rey-Rey out.

Chris Jericho (2) eliminates Rey Mysterio Jr

Entrant #8
Yoshihiro Tajiri enters The Royal Rumble

Tajiri kicks everything and it’s highly enjoyable (well, unless you’re one of the wrestlers actually taking the kicks of course).

Entrant #9
Bill DeMott enters The Royal Rumble

DeMott runs in and hits everyone, getting a splash in the corner on former stablemate Chavo. Besides that, not much happens, as folks are just laying on the ropes and/or throwing punches, so standard battle royal fare.

Entrant #10
Tommy Dreamer enters The Royal Rumble

Dreamer brings a metal bin of weapons with him, which livens things up a bit at least, whilst also getting us our first “EC-DUB” chant of the night. DeMott gets battered with Singapore Canes by both Edge and Dreamer, which leads to DeMott taking a spill to the floor. However, Dreamer then gets clobbered with bin lids courtesy of Jericho and Christian, and that leads to Dreamer’s elimination.

Edge eliminates (1) Bill DeMott

Chris Jericho (3) and Christian (1) eliminate Tommy Dreamer

It’s a shame that they eliminated Dreamer so quickly, as he actually managed to get the crowd to wake up a bit after they’d been quiet for a few minutes. Tajiri tries to lock Jericho in the Tarantula following that, but that stupidly puts him in an easily eliminatable position, and Jericho promptly knocks the Japanese Buzz-saw to the floor.

Chris Jericho (4) eliminates Tajiri

Entrant #11
B-2 enters The Royal Rumble

B-2 had been a lackey for John Cena, but he’d recently been dumped by Cena and replaced by Rodney Mack. B-2 doesn’t get to do much though, as Edge quickly throws him out, and then knocks out Chavo straight after for good measure.

Edge (2) eliminates B-2

Edge (3) eliminates Chavo Guerrero Jr

Edge tries to eliminate Jericho following that, but Jericho holds on and the throws out Edge and Christian whilst they fight on the ropes.

Chris Jericho (6) eliminates Christian and Edge

Jericho has been busted open by the Dreamer weapon segment, and he doesn’t look too pleased about it.

Entrant #12
Rob Van Dam enters The Royal Rumble

RVD gets a big reaction for his entrance, and he runs wild on Jericho with his usual flippy and kicky offence, whilst the crowd digs it and Jericho takes some nice bumps for it. It’s probably the best segment of the match thus far, with Jericho doing another in a series of good elimination teases as well.

Entrant #13
Matt Hardy Version 1.0 enters The Royal Rumble

Shannon Moore does some good lackeying for Matt here, including helping Matt to stay in the ring when it looks like Matt might be thrown out. Jericho and Matt try to team up on RVD, but Rob does an okay job of fending them off, as the action has continued to be good since RVD entered the bout. Jericho ends up taking the Five Star Frog Splash, but Matt attacks RVD before Rob can follow-up on it.

Entrant #14
Eddy Guerrero enters The Royal Rumble

Eddy throws punches at everyone, and then renews hostilities with RVD following their feud in the Spring/Summer of 2002. Matt helps Eddy get the better of RVD, but then he betrays Eddy with a Twist of Fate in order to leave Matt as the only person standing.

Entrant #15
Jeff Hardy enters The Royal Rumble

Matt tries to form an alliance with Jeff, but Jeff isn’t interested and puts the beatdown on Matt, although Moore saves his boss from a further beatdown from Jeff, including using himself as a human shield when Jeff heads up for the Swanton Bomb.

Entrant #16
Rosey enters The Royal Rumble

Rosey is a big mean islander, and the elder brother of Roman Reigns. He doesn’t get to do much here.

Entrant #17
Test enters The Royal Rumble

Test was figured in for a push at the time, so he runs wild on everyone and gets to look good. Things have slowed down a bit since the fun section with RVD flipping around though.

Entrant #18
John Cena enters The Royal Rumble

Cena had only just started doing his rapper gimmick, so he of course raps his way down to the ring, using up most of the 90 second interval, and it’s good fun. You can see why this gimmick eventually got Cena over, especially once they got behind him and started giving him some wins.

Entrant #19
Charlie Haas enters The Royal Rumble

Jim Ross is of course delighted that Haas is here because now he can reel off Haas’ assortment of college sports credentials. Jeff Hardy tries heading up top with something, but that’s of course dumb in a Royal Rumble match and it allows RVD to knock Jeff down to the floor.

Rob Van Dam (1) eliminates Jeff Hardy

Entrant #20
Rikishi enters The Royal Rumble

We’ve got nine people in there now, which is possible 3-4 too many. We get the islander face-off between Rosey and Rikishi, and they actually end up working together briefly to beat up Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore, but Rosey quickly ends that by turning Rikishi inside-out with a big clothesline.

Entrant #21
Jamal enters The Royal Rumble

Jamal is the son of Solofa Fatu and would get fired later in the year before having a stint in TNA and then coming back to WWE as the wild Umaga. The ring is so full of guys at this point that there isn’t really space to do anything, although Rikishi does manage top get the Stink Face on Jamal at one stage. Jamal doesn’t like that and he starts choking Rikishi as a way to get revenge.

Entrant #22
Kane enters The Royal Rumble

Kane and RVD were a makeshift tag team at the time, and Kane of course runs wild with punches when he gets in there. There has to be something like 12 people in there now, and thankfully Kane quickly eliminates Rosey in order to free up some space.

Kane (1) eliminates Rosey

Jericho keeps bringing the great elimination teases, as he’s doing the best he can to have a memorable stint in the match here, but the way the rest of the match has been laid out hasn’t helped him much as there’s just way too many guys in there and it means there’s less focus on the individual stories being told.

Entrant #23
Shelton Benjamin enters The Royal Rumble

Haas and Benjamin team up for a double team back breaker on Eddy, but then things quickly settle back down into people punching and laying on the ropes. It’s riveting stuff, let me tell you.

Entrant #24
Booker T enters The Royal Rumble

Booker gets one of the bigger reactions in the match for his entrance, showing that there was definitely potential to shoot him into the Main Event scene had they wanted to. Booker quickly gets to eliminate Eddy, but more people need chucking as well.

Booker T (1) eliminates Eddy Guerrero

Entrant #25
The A-Train enters The Royal Rumble

A-Train is Albert/Lord Tensai, and he quickly hits some power moves on Cena, Benjamin and RVD, only to then get kicked in the face by Rikishi. Shawn Michaels then runs back into the match and brawls with Jericho, which leaves Jericho weakened and allows Test to throw Jericho out. The hope was that giving Test the scalp of Jericho would give Test a significant career boost, but that didn’t end up working out for him and we’ll go into more detail when we cover No Way Out in a few weeks.

Test (1) eliminates Chris Jericho

Jericho had a decent run in there, as he eliminated quite a few people and he also got to do some excellent elimination teases before finally being flung out. As previously mentioned, what hurt Jericho’s run was that there were so many other people clogging up the ring that he never really got a chance to have the majority of the focus on him because there were 8-13 other folks in there taking up both space and the focus, meaning that Jericho didn’t have room to do a lot, and what he did wasn’t really focused on because there were so many bodies in there drawing attention away from it. A gutsy effort on Jericho’s part, but sadly the structure of the Royal Rumble this year didn’t lend itself to getting the most out of it. Jericho and Shawn get separated by the officials following that, and this feud will continue.

Entrant #26
Maven enters The Royal Rumble

Maven eliminated Undertaker the previous year, but I don’t see that happening again as his star had fallen a bit since then. Not much happens, as we wait for the magic number #27 to enter.

Entrant #27
Goldust enters The Royal Rumble

Welp, #27 ain’t winning it this year! Goldust does a quick bit with Haas and Benjamin, and that’s fun at least. Maven has his dreams shattered as well at one stage. There are just still way too many people in there though and Goldust barely has any room to work with. Haas and Benjamin rally though and work together in order to dump Goldy. They then team up to eliminate Booker as well.

Charlie Haas (1) and Shelton Benjamin (1) eliminate Goldust

Charlie Haas (2) and Shelton Benjamin (2) eliminate Booker T

The fans are NOT pleased to see Booker eliminated. Personally I would have had Booker eliminate a few of big dudes like Rosey, Jamal, Batista and maybe A-Train before finishing as runner-up. That way he has some actual momentum behind him when it comes to him going after the Raw Title at Mania, as by being the runner-up he has a more legitimate claim and he’s actually had a chance to throw out some of the bigger physical threats in the match in order to highlight his toughness.

Entrant #28
Batista enters The Royal Rumble

Batista was managed by Ric Flair at the time, but Evolution wasn’t an official thing yet. Batista cleans Cena’s clock the moment he gets in there, which would be one of the first occasions those two battled one another in a Rumble match. Test goes after Batista, but Batista gets the low bridge and that’s the end of Test’s night. Rikishi goes soon after as well, as they are making an effort to have Batista look good here early doors.

Batista (1) eliminates Test

Batista (2) eliminates Rikishi

Entrant #29
Brock Lesnar enters The Royal Rumble

Lesnar quickly targets Haas, Benjamin and Cena, who were all guys he had problems with on SmackDown at the time. Haas and Benjamin try to team up on Lesnar, but that doesn’t work and they both get flung out, with Matt getting F-5’ed onto them straight after in a scary looking spot. It gets Lesnar over with the crowd at least.

Brock Lesnar (2) eliminates Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin

Brock Lesnar (3) eliminates Matt Hardy

Entrant #30
The Undertaker enters The Royal Rumble

Taker quickly cleans out the ring, with Cena, Jamal and Maven all getting chucked out, with Maven’s dropkick act from Royal Rumble 2002 getting undone this time.

The Undertaker (1) eliminates John Cena

The Undertaker (2) eliminates Jamal

The Undertaker (3) eliminates Maven

So this leaves us with A-Train, Kane, Taker, Lesnar, Batista and RVD, which is five massive dudes and RVD, because when business is down Vince McMahon always presses the “push the big men” button. RVD and Kane team up to dump A-Train, but Kane then betrays RVD as promised and throws his partner out.

Kane (2) and Rob Van Dam (2) eliminate The A-Train

Kane (3) eliminates Rob Van Dam

So we have a Final Four of Kane, Batista, Taker and Lesnar, which was quite the vote of confiedence in Batista at the time as he was still pretty raw and wasn’t anywhere close to being the star he would eventually become. It’s pretty obvious who the winner is going to be here, as neither Kane or Batista were going to Mania against Triple H and Taker wasn’t going to face Angle. Taker and Lesnar do a decent segment together at least, which Taker gets the better of with a Tombstone before clotheslining Batista to the floor.

The Undertaker (4) eliminates Batista

Taker betrays Kane to throw him out after teasing an alliance, but then stops to deal with an angry Batista and that leads to Lesnar sneaking up to dump Taker out and win.

The Undertaker (5) eliminates Kane

Brock Lesnar (4) eliminates The Undertaker

WINNER: BROCK LESNAR
MOST ELIMINATIONS: CHRIS JERICHO WITH 6
RATING: **1/2

Thoughts: Kind of a dull Royal Rumble really, and they probably should have given Lesnar a stronger win rather than just having him sneak up on Taker to throw him out after already losing the duel between them just prior to it. There were a few decent moments here, such as the angle at the start with Jericho throwing out Shawn, Tommy Dreamer making the match hardcore, RVD’s nice flurry and Jericho’s constant elimination teases whilst he spent the most time in there. However, there were far too many parts of the match where there were too many people in the ring, which bogged down the majority of the middle of the bout, and the closing stretch was pretty weak as well as Lesnar was really the only viable winner. I think a Final Four of maybe Booker T, Chris Jericho, Edge and Brock Lesnar would have worked better, as it was a stronger line-up and you’d probably have an easier chance of convincing the crowd that one of the other three guys might have been able to win. Lesnar winning was the right call, but there were just better ways of going about it, and him needing to sneak up on Undertaker just made him look like a bit of a wimp, which would have been fine were he still a Heel at the time, but WWE wanted him to be their next top babyface, so he really could have done with a stronger win

In Conclusion

There’s enough decent to good stuff on Royal Rumble 2003 that I think it gets a mild thumbs up. Dawn Marie Vs Torrie Wilson and Triple H Vs Scott Steiner aren’t good, but the opener is good, the Tag Title match is okay, Angle Vs Benoit is a classic and the Royal Rumble match itself is fine, if a bit dull, so I think that makes the show a slight success overall. 2003 wasn’t exactly a banner year for WWE when it came to pay per view outside of a couple of exceptions, but Royal Rumble was better than average.

Mildly recommended