Tooned In: Popeye – Hello How Am I? and Barbecue for Two (1939, 1960)
By No One Can Beat Megabucks on 31 January 2025
RIP John Erwin, what can I say about my He-Man fandom that I never said before?
RIP, maybe or maybe not temporarily, to Rocky and Bullwinkle on the MeTV Toons schedule. I don’t really watch it, but I appreciate it when I do, and I know it has fans. Not 100 percent sure what the story is there, but it sounds like what happened to WordPlay on Buzzr; i.e. the channel overestimated its rights to air it. Or it could be that the license expired. Who knows? I’ll be optimistic and pretend they’re getting fresh prints with the original music in place.
Anyway, after a visit for the holidays, we’re back with Popeye in this edition. This time we have two ends of his animation spectrum, with one short from what many consider the peak of his appearances, and another that was the literal beginning of an era pointed at as the series’ low point…albeit a nostalgic one for some Popeye fans.
First is an entry from the Fleischer Studios era (same studio known for Betty Boop cartoons, and more):
HELLO HOW AM I?
If Undertaker vs. Undertaker was like this, they would have drawn money.
Popeye is woken by a phone call from Olive inviting him over for hamburgers. Oddly enough, in this short Popeye declares it “his favorite dish” instead of, you know, SPINACH. Well, it can’t be as bad as him going full-blown corporate shill and saying he prefers Quaker Oatmeal. Back to the story, Popeye unfortunately is rooming with Wimpy, which happens here and I believe is never seen again. I guess insisting on paying the rent Tuesday got old really fast. Anyway, taking any opportunity to mooch hamburgers, Wimpy comes up with an off-screen plan that becomes clear when Popeye encounters…himself. What follows is some of the most quotable and/or imitate-able moments in animation. You’ll have “Popeye’s” (spoiler: it’s Wimpy, of course) utterances of “I’M POPEYE!” in your head all day, for starters.
They get to Olive’s where she declares, “You’re both Popeye!” Ah-ah, no being in the middle, Ms. Oyl, you MUST be on one side, such is 2020s America! “Popeye” gets her approval when he turns an earlier statement on the real deal: “Is there not one Washington?…Is there not one Lincoln?…And is there not one Popeye?…Then that settles it…I’M POPEYE!” Kerry Von Erich would later try this logic when pitching the idea of there being one world champion at Superclash III. For now, Olive scolds the actual Popeye thusly: “You oughta be ashamed of yourself for looking like Popeye!”
While Wimpopeye gorges himself on hamburgers, Popeye has an existential crisis, which is spoken as follows: “If I’m not me, who am I? And if I’m someone else, why do I look like me?” I want to find the addresses of the writers’ relatives, so I can pay their estates extra for this. But then, Popeye gets the idea of having his clone prove his strength, reasoning that he’s the strongest there is. (Mr. T. Sailor, there’s a Mr. I. Hulk’s lawyer on line one…) “Popeye” then clobbers him with a table…HE’S HARDCORE! And Wimpy’s been holding out on us all this time! Why did he always hide behind his “Let’s you and him fight” catchphrase? Oh, because this might happen: Popeye of course gets the spinach and gives him what for, blowing his disguise in the process. Which, since it’s Wimpy, tables or no tables, is kind of like Hogan wasting a Hulk Up in a match against, say, Rusty Brooks.
Needless to say, this was a classic in a classic era for the character.
Now we have probably one of the most batshit insane things I’ve seen come out of Popeye. Brief background: after the theatrical cartoons were brought to TV (usually with that odd AAP logo tacked onto the beginning and end) and got really popular, stations wanted more to keep up the ratings. Enter King Features Syndicate, who owned the rights to the character and published his comic strips. They pumped out a score of new animated shorts in the ’60s to add to stations’ packages of Popeye cartoons. Unfortunately, “pumped out” also means “didn’t pay as much attention to making quality products” and what we got was essentially the fast food version of Popeye, not to be confused with Popeye’s fast food.
Still, the KFS Popeyes were pretty ubiquitous on local TV going up into the 80s, even part of the 90s. So a generation or two grew up with those being at least partially “their Popeye”. It does have a few of its own advantages, too…mostly the use of more Thimble Theatre supporting characters : Roughhouse, Geezil, and others appear in the cartoons now. The most visible of these, however, was the Sea Hag, who alternated with the newly-renamed “Brutus” as the big bad of the shorts. Incidentally, KFS Popeye was also the version that the Nintendo arcade game was based on.
But, like many TV series, we have to begin with a pilot episode to sell it, and boy is this one a doozy, for all the wrong reasons.
BARBECUE FOR TWO
Attack Dog Popeye, the meme waiting to happen.
(NOTE: This is one of three public domain KFS shorts that MeTV Toons can air. They otherwise cannot or have not shown any others, nor have they shown the pacifistic 70s Hanna-Barbera cartoons, nor their demon offspring, Popeye and Son)
Despite having the typical KFS open with the pegasus logo (which I previously mistook for an eagle or a winged person), the theme song is taken from the Famous Studios intro. So it’s not the borderline ear abuse the series’ rendition of “Popeye the Sailor Man” was.
Speaking of ear abuse, Popeye is singing some bad lyrics about having a barbecue for himself and Olive, who is strangely never mentioned by name in this. He has his red-and-blue outfit for the first and only time in the series. He then begins his streak of acting like a total jerkass when he steals flowers from his neighbor’s yard, the neighbor turning out to be the unnamed Bluto, er, Brutus…no, not because King Features feared Disney’s wrath for using a name that rhymed with “Pluto.” It was one of those pesky rights issues. He understandably clobbers Popeye, who no sells it despite bobbing up and down like an accordion. But he forgets the animosity when he notices Popeye preparing a barbecue, yet the sailor keeps on rubbing in that he is not invited. On top of that, he proceeds to singe off Blu…Bru…whoever’s hair and beard when igniting his grill. Not that it’s a problem because his hair literally reappears on screen seconds later.
Unfortunately for Popeye, he’s making hamburgers, and the scent attracts Wimpy from a couple cities away, and he crashes the party demanding service. Another plus about the KFS era is that Jack Mercer’s Wimpy voice is the one that I feel matches the character the best (Mercer is also Popeye, of course). Swee’pea further agitates Popeye by asking to help him at the swing set. At this point I will say that I’d find the estates of these writers and make them pay the Hello, How Am I? writers’ estates even more. Their crutch is rhyming sentences: “No yummy for you, dummy!” “Out, out, out, lout!” And worse, Olive: “I haven’t et yet!”
Popeye finally has enough and lifts Wimpy, what’s his name, and even Swee’pea over his head and is about to toss them out of the yard…only Olive finally arrives, back in her Fleischer style look, as opposed to the simplified Famous character design she’d have in the series, pompadoured hair style and all (your signal that you’re supposed to find her hot, according to Stronger Than Spinach…) The villain turns on the charm when he sees her, of course, and they go through an odd ritual where he offers her sugar for…well, no drink, and puts the cubes between her toes. It seems to only exist for Popeye to do the “one lump or two” gag, you know the one. The big dude tries to impress Olive with his rock music skills, singing some song about getting mustard on his clean shirt. After running another gauntlet with Wimpy and Swee’pea, Popeye is El Kabonged by his rival’s guitar, and right into the kitchen, where, you guessed it, spinach awaits. He literally death glares Wimpy and Swee’pea away, and tells “Junior” to get some, leading to the cartoon’s signature bizarre moment: “Junior? What kind of sissy name is that? My name is….ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAR!”
So ROOOOOOOAR charges the sailor only to get punched into orbit, and Popeye finally gets his titular barbecue for two after alienating all his friends. Maybe Steve Bierly of the Stronger… book was right: Popeye WAS the real bad guy!
And now I feel guilty that I devoted almost twice the writing to this strange, shoddily made pilot.