Tokyo Pro Wrestling – Super Tag Battle 05/30/96

Tokyo Pro Wrestling
Korakuen Hall
Attendance 2,150

Previously In TPW…

This week saw the release of George Michael’s Older, Gina G’s Ooh Aah… Just a Little Bit, and Final Doom so suddenly this show seems normal by comparison.

Akihiko Masuda vs. Toryu

Highlights Only but we get Toryu’s springboard legdrop which doesn’t explode his arse open like Johnny The Bull. Shame. Roll-up wins it for Masuda at 11:48

Los Brazos (Brazo de Oro & Brazo de Plata) vs. Astro Jr. & Shocker

Hell yeah, Super Porky! Porky kicks out of a double crossbody because he’s got the biggest base this side of SPECTRE. The Chubby Chasers avalanche Shocker in the corner as the crowd roars their approval. Astro Jr. dives over the ref and the ropes to deliver a Quebrada, causing everyone else to dive outside with Porky also flying to the delight of everyone. He’s more popular than Cheap Trick. The Porkies finish with top rope splashes at 16:07. Fun highlight package for Los Brazos.

Hikaru Kawabata vs. Shigeo Okumura

Highlights Only of a thirty minute draw, which must be someone’s idea of a sick joke for someone as forgettable as Kawabata and as mid as Okumura. Crowd are into the limited offence on display so what do I know. You can hear the ref yelling “c’mon c’mon, up up” as both men are slow to keep going. Moonsault gets two and then Okumura refuses to submit to an ankle pick as the bell rings. Yeah sure whatever.

Gekko & Tsukikage vs. Hiroshi Itakura & Takeshi Sato

This match is slightly infamous. It’s Highlights Only but what we get is nuts, with Gekko intent on stiffing the shit out of Sato as much as possible.

We start with a double stomp off the middle rope and strikes to the face that nearly spin Sato around. Sato slows the offence down with an ankle lock as he attempts his own stiff offence but gets absolutely wellied by Gekko who ignores Sato’s strikes. Gekko is so annoyed with Sato’s attempts at self defence that he continues to strike Sato viciously after he splats on the mat.

We mercifully clip ahead to a double suplex on Tsukikage, with a pin-fall attempt halted thanks to a Philippe Albert style volley to Sato’s head. Tsukikage takes over and looks after his opponent with a gentle Tombstone before Gekko tags back in to attempt the Spider German, with Itakura wisely interrupting and turning into a Doomsday Dropkick instead.

We clip ahead to Itakura suplexing Tsukikage through ringside chairs which still looks preferable to whatever Gekko had planned for him. Sato flies off the top to the outside with a mental spinning wheel kick of all things. Gekko resumes kicking Sato so hard he flies out the ring from the force of it, with Gekko and friend landing stereo ORIHARA MOONSAULTS.

Clipping ahead to Tsukikage missing another moonsault so Sato can tag in and get his revenge on Gekko which sadly consists of very safe-looking German Suplexes and O’Connor Rolls. Crowd’s disappoint is audible. Stand up for yourself man, don’t be like Disco Inferno with Arn Anderson. Gekko lands the typically vicious Spider German Suplex and a probably-deliberately awkward knee drop off the top to finish with the Tompachi Lock at 18:02.

Jesus that was a brutal watch. Crowd were loving the stiff shots but were anticipating Sato’s comeback which never came. No idea why Gekko was the way he was but as previously mentioned, he is mental. The stiffness overshadowed everything else in the match.

Abdullah The Butcher & Masashi Aoyagi vs. Masanobu Kurisu & Mr. Pogo

You know what will cleanse the palette after a shit-kicking? Why, a Masanobu Kurisu match of course! Mr. Pogo speaks English in his pre-match promo for some reason:

“I’m going to get you tonight, you monkey shits. Abby I think you’re too fat.”

These are two odd tag teams so at least this won’t be dull. Oh wait it’s Pogo & Abby so they naturally go stab-stab bleed-bleed around the outside and then the inside and then the outside again.

We clip ahead to Abby doing the same to Kurisu who apparently only tries hard when he’s against rookies. Pogo shoves his razor saw into Abby’s head and you know a match is good when the variety comes from what weapon is being used. Aoyagi’s attempts at crowd brawling are mercifully edited out. Kurisu smashes a chair over Abby’s head but he hasn’t had a neck since 1972 so it has no effect so Abby ends with a fat elbow drop at 10:53.

Never before has blood and violence been so dull to watch. Abby stabs Aoyagi after the bell for good measure because we didn’t see enough of that already. Match was a waste of Kurisu.

Shin FMW (Mr. Gannosuke & Tarzan Goto) vs. Daikokubo Benkei & The Great Kabuki

Goto starts with Kabuki who takes his impressive headbutts well. Kabuki comes back with a thrust kick which starts another crowd brawl. Well that was promising for thirty seconds. Goto breaks a chair over Benkei’s big head and that spot always looks lovely, even if a strong gust of wind would have the same effect on these Japanese chairs.

We clip ahead to a weirdly motivated Kabuki dominating Gannosuke and stopping a charging Goto with another thrust kick. Kabuki sends Gannosuke into a hundred empty chairs at ringside as Kabuki seems to be one of those lads who only brings it when there’s a young un to impress. My Dad’s greyhounds are the same.

There’s a lot of clipping and the moments are only briefly shown because they involve Benkei and if he was any greener you’d be arrested for trying to bring him through airport security. It kinda breaks down but not really with Benkei taking a Goto spinebuster at 12:28.

Kabuki was weirdly game here but the match ended up being cut to hell and back so it didn’t matter. I appreciate it anyway.

TWA World Tag Team Title Match
Takashi Ishikawa & Yoji Anjo (c) vs. Golden Cups (Kenichi Yamamoto & Yoshihiro Takayama)

Yoji Anjo is taking on the Golden Cups, the stable he’s uhh a part of.

Anjo and Yamamoto start off with Anjo ignoring the blond lad’s strikes to take him down with ease and try and turn him into a Christmas present. The pair of them stick to this strategy for a while with the crowd approving of the soon-to-be-dead UWF-i style showing up in a charity shop promotion like this. Anjo is able to prevent his mate from doing anything of note which leads to Ishikawa tagging in to a tepid response and a similar beating. Takayama tags in (braids and all) to a much bigger reaction. However he’s at the bottom of the food chain so he has to lose to a test-of-strength. Thankfully this brings in Anjo to strike Takayama and then laugh at him. Takayama’s knees send Anjo to the mat but they’re pretty rubbish. It’s always interesting watching early Takayama considering how great he’d become because he’s clearly learning on the job in the 90s.

Takayama throws the kind of over-the-top punches you’d expect to see Brian Knobbs firing off at Three Count. Golden Cups both apply ankle locks at the same time but a happy Ishikawa slowly wanders in to save his mate. They do it again with Ishikawa again lending his turtle speed. The Cups carry on kicking Anjo but it doesn’t look as smooth or as passionate as previous outings. Maybe they know they’re already lapping the rest of the card just by turning up.

Ishikawa tags in to throw a volley of hard strikes to Takayama and it really must be early in his career if Ishikawa The Walking Boil is able to batter him. Anjo sees this and lands a Eric Cantona-style high kick to Yamamoto. This slows the match way down as the Cups don’t seem sure of what Ishikawa is capable of. Not many Ishikawa Best Of tapes out there to study in fairness. Takayama tries a flying knee but Anjo sticks his foot out and the big lad clearly wasn’t expecting that because he’s cumbersome as hell. He’s Kitao without the star power. Anjo delivers a back suplex so brutal on Yamamoto that he recovers quickly just so he can give Anjo a big receipt.

Anjo catches his follow-up punch to apply an armlock and…that ends it at 11:49? Oh OK.

Some nice moments with Anjo and Yamamoto but this had zero flow or cohesiveness compared to the usually high standard of The Golden Cups. They really were a team that needed to be facing people on the same level as them or better, otherwise you get these meandering hey-let’s-go-long-and-hope-we-develop-chemistry-along-the-way matches. It wasn’t helped by Ishikawa sticking out like a sore thumb because the only proper grappling he’s done recently is with his belt when getting dressed.

Post-match Abby shows up to eat Ishikawa. Also Kabuki is here to hand out his resume to fans in the crowd.

Overall: Some cards look interesting on paper and then they happen. Watch Gekko’s mean streak out of curiosity and skip everything else.

I’ve been Maffew and I’m also mostly dull with occasional stiffness