WAR Wrestle Association-R – Battle Squall 04/19/96

Wrestle Association-R

Sapporo Nakajima Taiiku Center
Attendance: 5,100

Previously In WAR…

Tenryu finally took some much-needed time off at the start of 1996 to recover. This resulted in WAR’s first tours of the year focusing on the light heavyweights and drawing poorly as a result, hence why we’re all the way into April before they decided to release something on tape.

Tenryu’s absence meant we got Fuyuki vs. Anjo in a WAR vs. UWF-i match at NJPW’s Jan 4th show, which was notable for Fuyuki-Gun doing the Gracie Walk to mock Anjo (who famously got his head kicked in by Rickson).

Oh and speaking of the Gracies: Kitao had been trying to get a fight scheduled with Royce and there was apparently interest from the family (because it’d be an easy win for them). However, Kitao took what looked like an easy match on a Vale Tudo show a week before this event against Pedro Otavio. Pedro shockingly beat Kitao easily, and then stood on Kitao’s head after the match was called off to really make him look like a bitch.

Kitao’s rep and head took a beating so the Gracies are no longer interested. Kitao wants to do more fights later on in the year to get his rep back. I think you can guess what happened next.

Anyway let’s look at the show.

Battle Ranger vs. Osamu Tachihikari

Thankfully JIP. Ranger gets caught doing a plancha and then attempts a Sunset Flip which is butchered as Osamu lands too early and squishes Ranger. Crowd laughs. Well it’s that or cry. Fat chokeslam ends it. Match only went 5:15 and somehow those were the moments they decided to include on a tape.

Lion Heart Chris Jericho & Damian 666 vs. Ultimo Dragon & Yuji Yasuruoka

This is JIP too? Why? Jericho and Dragon go counter-to-counter at the speed of sound to show their familiarity with one another, then Yuji tags in and we immediately clip ahead. Oh man Yuji must have stunk tonight.

Damian tags in to yell “CHOSHU!” and attempt a Sharpshooter. Crowd digs his goofy impressions. “TENRYU!” chops in the corner sets up the “SHINZAKI!” praying rope walk.

We clip some more to Jericho springboard dropkicking Yuji and Damian landing a Quebrada. Damian’s best spot is next, as he takes Yuji around the ringside area yelling “move, move!” to the crowd as if he’s about to throw his opponent into the chairs, but keeps going until he’s circled the entire ring with nothing happening before throwing Yuji back inside. Tremendous.

We clip ahead to Yuji making a hot tag which has been his only visible offence so far. Dragon tags in with the sexy taunts and Frankensteiner Pins, clearly enjoying the response from the crowd. Damian can’t touch him so he oversells everything to the point of more laughter. Yuji tags in thinking surely even now he can get something in. And he’d be right, connecting with a Plancha on Damian while Dragon connects with THE ASAI MOONSAULT.

We clip some more to Dragon and Jericho feuding over who can hustle the most muscle on some back grapples. Jericho misses the Lionsault so Dragon rolls into La Mahistral but Damian breaks up the previously unbeatable move. Dragon tries a submission victory via Sharpshooter which is a bit out of nowhere. Jericho and Dragon bust out the Powerbomb pins but neither work, but the crowd are popping loud for them. Dragon lands La Mahistral on Damian instead which is certainly one way of fixing that issue as it ends the match at 15:43.

Jericho vs. Dragon is always great value for money and the clipping didn’t hurt things too badly. But as much as I like goofy Damian, the tag partners were more of a hindrance than anything else. Not bad, just not the preferred tempo from these guys.

Big Titan vs. Nobutaka Araya

Fake Razor! At this point he’s coasting off the rep he built in FMW teaming with Mike Awesome where he similarly focused on brawling with big bumps. By 1996 his cool-looking offence had gone and was replaced by simply being hench, which is why we get this clipped and tedious crowd brawl. No moves are executed until Titan ends the match with two powerbombs at 10:37. Big guys burn quickest.

Koki Kitahara & Arashi vs. Shinichi Nakano & Masayoshi Motegi

This is clipped but they still manage to show no action for the first few minutes. Match only kicks in when there’s yet another crowd brawl, followed by powerbombs and kicks and everything else that’s already been done infinitely better than everyone else on the show already. Kitahara Liger Bombs Motegi to end a lifeless 13:07 and then has the nerve to kick his corpse after the match. No Kitahara it’s you, you’re the problem.

Genichiro Tenryu vs. Mr. Pogo

Oh God, this disaster.

Pogo throws a few strikes at Tenryu who doesn’t even blink. Pogo decides to go for Tenryu’s eyes instead which sets up the story for the match, with Pogo being unable to wrestle ‘proper’ style and deciding to cheat instead. Tenryu goes nuts after being blinded and has to be dragged off his opponent by the ref. Pogo attempts to run away so Tenryu chases, however Pogo has the advantage on the outside because there’s lots of pointy objects. It’s like rock-paper-scissors, but with real scissors. Pogo attempts to slice Tenryu’s boot off with a giant knife before going for his head. Not content with this, Pogo attacks the commentators as the crowd sound worried. Tenryu recovers and saves everyone from a firey death by punching Pogo directly in the face a bunch of times, causing Pogo to grab a mic and yell “FUCK YOU” before leaving the match and the arena, with the cameras recording him getting into a taxi and leaving.

Match is called off at 5:42.

Tenryu then decides to batter Pogo’s second (Toryu aka Magnitude Kishiwada) in the ring to please the fans and in the midst of some brutal punches and kicks to the head, ends up doing some real damage to the poor sod. Tenryu is not in the mood for pulling his strikes at the best of times and Tenryu isn’t a happy camper right now.

So what the hell happened here?

According to BAHU FMW: Originally the match was supposed to go to a no contest but at the last second WAR changed the finish to Pogo running away. Pogo wasn’t happy with being made to look like a massive bitch and was even less happy with Tenryu breaking Toryu’s ear drum. WAR wanted to do a bigger rematch at Yokohama Arena with Pogo reportedly being offered $10,000 to lose to Tenryu clean. Pogo declined because he had promised FMW he wouldn’t lose during his time away from the company and also because he thought Tenryu was unprofessional.

Hmmm I don’t know. Tenryu always threw strikes like that and was merely an accident he hurt the poor sod for real so Pogo was likely using it as an excuse rather than a reason for returning.

As for the match itself: I like when contrasting styles collide so this match looked half-way interesting until it wasn’t. Even with the backstage drama however this ended up being a fat-load of nothing.

Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psicosis

Good luck following that lads. Rey is smoother than 1950s Jazz as he effortlessly Frankensteiners Psicosis in the ring and then off the apron, then lands a chair-assisted moonsault in the first minute. Psicosis lands a split-legged moonsault for two before Rey manages the amazing handspring-onto-opponent’s shoulders-then-pivot-to-Frankensteiner before landing a plancha immediately afterwards. Psicosis sees a springboard Frank coming and turns into a grand powerbomb for two as this is breath-taking in it’s quickness and smoothness. Rey gets two from a sit-out top-rope moonsault. Rey doesn’t realise the chairs are connected together, so decides to take the entire front row with him to set up a chair for Psicosis to sit on so he can…miss a plancha and then have Psicosis land the exact same spot he was going for. Aye chairs mate. Both lads finally slow down for thirty seconds so Psicosis can ham it up and take a dropkick off the top to land outside and have Rey soar with an enormous top-rope Asai Moonsault into the great darkness. Easy-looking Lionsault is followed by Rey falling down from an Irish whip into the corner. It’s unclear if it’s deliberate but it allows Psicosis to gloat and follow up with a missed-neck-destroyer in the corner. That’s as close to telling a story as we’ll get in this match but I’m not complaining. Psicosis attempts to Splash Mountain Rey off the top who naturally turns it into a mid-air Frankensteiner to end a very busy 7:44.

Ahhhh to go back in time and watch stuff like this for the first time, wanting to get the WCW video games so I can play as Rey and fly around like a mad ‘un. Amazing stuff from two men moving as if they were both born and raised on Mercury rather than Earth.

WAR World Six Man Tag Team Titles
Fuyuki-gun (Gedo, Hiromichi Fuyuki & Jado) vs. Ookami Gundan/Team Wolf (Hiro Saito, Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Masahiro Chono)

Even split on the cheers and boos for yet another NJPW/WAR main event. But there’s titles on the line and the NJPW guys are all established so the finish is going to be interesting.

What’s not interesting is Fuyuki’s repeated screaming, which has no effect on Tenzan so Gedo has to sneak attack him. Gedo and Tenzan trade headbutts in the battle of worst hair-style in all of Puro. Tenzan’s Mongolian chops are really over with the crowd. Gedo plays Booker In Peril so Chono and his action figure tights can kill some time. Tenzan does the majority of the work until the AWA Special connects courtesy of Jado. Like last time, the story of the match is that the NJPW guys are above Fuyuki-Gun in terms of singles action but the Gunners are far better as a team so it’s like Optimus Prime taking on Devastator.

Fuyuki attacks Tenzan with a bunch of bananas but somehow misses when he throws them at a stationary opponent. Chono starts a crowd brawl as this has been very lacking so far, even with the fruit. With everyone brawling on the outside, Gedo is able to Dragon Sleeper Tenzan inside, causing Saito to break it up to be useful. Fuyuki brings in a chair so Tenzan can take more offence as the triple teaming starts, with the Superbomb causing Chono to run in and not only break up the pin but kick the ref too. Jesus. Stretch Plumb gets stuck in on Tenzan and he absolutely milks that for all it’s worth as the crowd goes BANANAS (into the front row). Chono saves but crowd are ready to be finished off after that. So Chono Yakuza Kicks everyone to kick start another bastard crowd brawl and to slow the action down. Chono kicks Gedo in the balls leading to Mr. Saito’s incredible back sentons.

Team Wolf decide to triple team Gedo which makes Fuyuki-Gun mad because that’s their gimmick. Chono applies the STF onto Gedo with the crowd half-cheering and half-mocking him, somehow he doesn’t tap. Chono can’t believe it. Gedo goes low on Saito to get the hot tag to Fuyuki, who throws all his offence at Saito but no-one believes any of it until the Elevated Ass connects causing everyone to run-in again. In the confusion, the Superbomb lands but Tenzan won’t allow it to end the match. Fuyuki lariats both Chon-Ten members and lands another one onto Saito to finally end it at 20:22.

The NJPW lads treated the first two thirds of this like a house show, with all the seriousness gone from Chono as he swanned around trying not to break a sweat. I understand that was part of the story of the match so maybe I’m being a miser, and probably would have enjoyed this without the context of the rest of this weird show but here we are. Crowd absolutely loved the interpromotional goings-on though which along with a grand finishing stretch brought this up to ‘decent.’ I mean it’s not often you see bananas being used as a weapon.

After the match Chono attacks Fuyuki with a chair as rubbish starts flying into the ring. The NJPW Knackers tease stealing the belts before returning them. NJPW had just annihilated UWF-i in their interpromotional feud so they clearly weren’t used to losing.

Overall: Weird little show. Main event is OK, Tenryu/Pogo was a car crash but there’s still Rey/Psicosis and maybe the Ultimo tag match. Eh. Not bad, but a little off by the high standards of WAR during this time.

I’ve been Maffew and you can call me a taxi, just don’t call me late to lunch