World Japan – MAGMA02 Series 06/29/2003
By Maffew Gregg on 9 June 2024
World Japan
Hokkaido Sports Center
Attendance: 6,200
Takashi Uwano vs. Masahiko Kochi
Hell yeah, look how dark and unlit this arena is! Basic black gear match with Kochi landing some nice kicks but I’m sick of these slow slow slow kick kick slow Boston Crab opening matches. Uwano wins with a German Suplex at 13:00
Dick Togo & Yoji Anjo vs. Koichiro Kimura & Tomohiro Ishii
I’ll take my Dick To Go, please. Ishii has garish white tights with the WJ logo on the side. I hope he still has them lying around his flat. Also Ishii got a fluke win over Onita in a tag match at a house show so WJ is at least kinda trying to push new guys. On shows that aren’t taped.
Togo tries but he hears the disinterest in the crowd and tags out. Letting awkward Anjo do the ground work sounds sensible. Dick does a wonderful job selling for dull Kimura by yelling and flopping around, but like Madame Web no-one’s buying it. Kimura lands a Last Ride for two so Dick comes back with a double DDT and it’s MILD TAG ANJO. Anjo busts out a lovely Michinoku Driver into an armbar that no-one cares about. Togo’s swanton can’t pop the crowd so Anjo tags in to do uhhh nothing and then Ishii lariats him. Superbomb gets kicked out of and I’m sorry if this reads like it’s exciting because it’s not. Cameras miss a Dick Dive to the outside as Anjo looks visibly annoyed, finally going home after a running uppercut of all things at 10:19.
Everyone tried until they realised it wasn’t worth it. Also Anjo as a leading man is box office poison.
IPW Hardcore Tag Title Match
The Road Warriors vs. The Crushers (Mike Shane & Todd Shane)
The Shane Twins won this title shot by beating The Warriors in a non-title affair which shows how far the Doomers had fallen if they were having to put these lugs over.
Hawk batters Shane #1 outside before whipping a ring boy into the guard rail because he takes a better bump. Shane #1 manages a Superplex on Hawk who is sadly too far gone to no-sell it like he would have done years ago, so Shane has to pin him first to give him time to recover and THEN no-sell but the moment has gone and no-one cares. Both men collide with clotheslines in the middle of the ring and we actually clip ahead. God knows what the match looked like if they kept all that in. Shane #2 headlocks Animal before Hawk comes in and can’t get anything from this damn crowd. The Shanes manage a double suplex as Animal starts a crowd clap so the Shanes go for more rest holds. Hawk plays monkey-hormone-in-peril and even these doylums can’t mess that up but the crowd is absolute zero. There’s no way in hell there’s 6,200 people here, it sounds closer to 62. If terrorists attacked the arena while this show was on there’d be no fatalities. Mild tag to Animal and one of the Shanes nearly ruins the comeback, but I forgive them as how can they tell this is the hot moment when there’s no crowd? Top rope Hart Attack only gets two with the Shanes quickly landing a double chokeslam. Poor Animal tries to do the kickout at 2.9 to salvage some dignity but he’s too far gone so instead The Shanes win the titles clean at 11:35.
Like watching Mike Tyson lose to Kevin McBride while being told Nigel Mansell is too fat to fit into his F1 car. A truly sad sight on an already miserable show.
Kenzo Suzuki vs. Hiroshi Hase
Suzuki is fresh from a hot run in TNA:
Kenzo Suzuki no contest Perry Saturn in 4:35. Horrible. Here’s a funny story. The booked finish of this was for Saturn to win clean, since he works here regularly and Suzuki will never be back. Anyway, knowing this, I did a preview of the show that morning and said that Masao Hattori (WJ official who was touring with Suzuki) was going to come in and demand the finish would be changed. Anyone who understands the first thing about Japanese politics knows Suzuki is being groomed to be a top star in WJ. Saturn works for New Japan, and they are rival groups. No way a guy groomed for the top in WJ can job for a foreigner in New Japan who isn’t even pushed. Anyway, nobody in TNA (well, I’m sure Mike Tenay figured it out) had a clue and they were shocked when, hours later, Hattori showed up and explained Suzuki couldn’t do the job. So they ran in Lynn and Credible. Match was sloppy. Only decent thing was Tenay reciting Suzuki trivia, such as that his first pro match on January 4, 2000 was supposed to be against Bill Goldberg (this is when Goldberg nearly ended his career punching through that limo window). -*
I know Hase is good but this is asking a lot, especially on a show like this. Kenzo delivers his scoop slam which is his best attribute. I wonder if Kenzo was hired by WWE due to the novelty of being a tall Japanese wrestler and nothing else. Years later WWE would hire a tanned Scot so I’m going with “yeah probably.” Hase sticks to amateur ground work which Kenzo has no idea how to deal with. Hase decides to go chop-for-chop with the lump before realising stretching might go better for him. Kenzo powers up only to find his big boots are being met with laughter. Hase hates that and drops Kenzo on the top of his head with a high angle uranage. Crowd then makes the most noise of anything tonight by counting Hase’s unreal giant swing on Kenzo.
What a freak. A dizzy Kenzo nearly succumbs to a German Suplex but kicks out despite the little Hase birds dancing around his head to emerge from the wreckage with some running high knees. His trademark is the same as The Booty Man? A side suplex from Kenzo ends it very undramatically at 12:35.
Hase did his best with a dead crowd and a deader worker. However, it’s still only Kenzo so it could only be so good.
Big Vader vs. Dan Bobish
Oh come now, surely the crowd will pop for these two beefy bastards. Vader is panting as he walks down the ramp so Bobish kindly meets him half-way for the meat-off. They bounce off one another then head into the ring for the introductions in a wonderful display of ham. Vader didn’t get the memo about the silent crowd and woofs until the fans start clapping like a dog at a family function. Vader is in the zone and works harder than half the card by smacking himself and yelling. Bobish threatens an early DQ by sticking Vader in the corner and ignoring the referee. Bobish lands Mongolian Chops (!) and clotheslines Vader outside and so far the green giant doesn’t look too bad. Vader gives him some potatoes (which are good with meat) before using a really thin unfolded chair. Vader pounds the sweaty gammon as Dan is good at absorbing shots (as long as they aren’t being thrown by Gary Goodridge). Vader drags the commentary table into play (with the commentators sounding worried and completely messed up as the wires get popped) with Dan splatting across it. Vader gets mad with the ref for some reason and puts him on the top rope which then inexplicably brings in Vito and the Shanes to break up the uncontrollable brawl these two were supposed to be having at this moment but weren’t. The crowd despite not existing still manages a deflated groan at the non-finish at 6:35 but this does allow both men to get their breaths back and charge the mass of humanity (and the other wrestlers) which at least looks pretty.
This wasn’t bad by the low standards you’d set for just-started Bobish and done-after-AJPW Vader. Props to Van for bringing some electricity and doing everything he could to try to get the crowd into it.
Kensuke Sasaki vs. Takao Omori
Oh Christ, Omori starts by dropkicking Sasaki in the back of the head as he’s stretching, following up with a giant German Suplex. Sasaki can’t keep up as Omori lariats him outside and piledrives him on the apron. Oh he got him good with that one. Both men jostle for a suplex on the apron with Sasaki eventually winning and Orton-style DDting him while elevated. Sasaki launches him into the cold darkness that is the crowd before finally calming down. Sasaki is determined to be the best wrestler on every show he’s on, taking a big boot to his lariating arm to allow Omori to stretch his arm while he can get some rest. What a ring general. I never rated Sasaki because I only saw his WCW & Hellraisers run. He rules after 2000. Omori works him harder than John Henry as Sasaki attempts to throw chops despite the pain, allowing further punishment until Sasaki sucks it up and blocks an Omori shot with his whole body. Stranglehold allows Sasaki to regain his composure and execute a sweet quick piledriver cos he hasn’t got the arm strength for a proper one. Omori comes back and starts dropping Sasaki with Germans as the sweat is real. Lariat nearly ends it and Sasaki is so mad he absorbs some more to show Omori he ain’t hurt, before falling down from a third. Sasaki tries to fire one back after he recovers first but Omori deflects and surely ends it with the Kryptonite Krunch. However he tries another and in-pain Sasaki is able to deliver a powerbomb and lariat for A ONE COUNT which shocks the crowd into reacting properly for the first time tonight. Sasaki Mans Up and drops Omori with the Snow Plow before landing a lariat that causes Omori to flip backwards onto his own head to end it at 22:32.
Sasaki is the Paul Giamatti of WJ, giving 2000% to any project whether the show deserves it or not. So much better than the rest of the show it was almost comical. Only thing here worth a watch.
No Rope Explosive Barbed Wire Tag Team Death Match
Atsushi Onita & Genichiro Tenryu vs. Riki Choshu & Shiro Koshinaka
Pretty sure this counts as panic booking as Riki hates this style of wrestling. Last time he did one of these type of matches he made a thing of no-selling everything, including the explosions. Apparently Choshu’s body was so banged up after working a proper schedule for the first time in forever that he’s reportedly already thinking of retiring, with Tenryu also having to miss some shows due to injury so both legends are so paggered they’re looking at a barbed wire match as an easy night.
This match is happening in story-line because Onita blamed Riki and his crappy company for his NRBW match at the first show ending in a DQ so he wants to do one properly. Makes sense.
Choshu sends Onita into the wire immediately, before he’s even taken his Moxley jacket off. Choshu brawls outside the ring while Tenryu dodges the explosions (Kevin Kelly: “the bullets!”) and eats him alive as predicted. Tenryu takes a dropkick and slowly walks into the barbed wire to set them off as undramatically as possible. Onita re-enters and immediately blows up like The Rock talking. The explosions are better than last time thankfully. Onita mists Choshu who has Tenryu in a Sharpshooter but he won’t sell that so Onita Warrior ’98 flames him and that seems to work. Onita and Shiro end up in the explosions so Tenryu attempts some actual wrestling with a lariat and suplex. And it ends the match! At 7:50, just like that.
Oh God. Crowd do not sound happy after having ooohed and aaahed for the explosions because there was NOTHING ELSE HERE. Riki was even less inclined to sell than usual and Tenryu was also not exactly motivated to throw himself into barbed wire either. So poor Onita could only let the big lads throw him around and then go to the finish. Yikes. Almost a parody of NRBW matches and made you appreciate how good Onita was with willing opponents in FMW.
Overall: If you’re looking for a good time, you’re better off attending a funeral as at least there might be booze there.
Watch Sasaki vs. Omori and stare blankly at everything else.
