Minus-Star Match Reviews: Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T – WWE WrestleMania 2

No legend or Hall of Famer in WWE has a completely unblemished career, as Roddy Piper showed here.

Piper was and is one of the most iconic and influential talkers in WWE history. He was such an intense and genuine wordsmith who showed such passion and dedication to making his promos and rivalries feel real, even if they weren’t. This made him a memorable character, one who would influence an entire generation of wrestlers to try and follow in his footsteps.

But not even someone with as much charisma, personality, and magnetism would salvage one of the worst ideas WWE ever had: putting a wrestler and an actor in a WWE-style boxing match.

The story

This is another famous case of pro-wrestling taking advantage of real-life tensions between two sides. On one side there was Mr. T, an actor with tremendous star power during the 1980s and was closely associated with Hulk Hogan during Hogan’s peak years as a draw. Mr. T had at best a minimal understanding of pro-wrestling but because of his popular appeal he was given a main-event position, which is something Roddy Piper didn’t appreciate.

Like most people from his era, Piper was strongly protective of the wrestling business; one had to be back then in the hope of keeping it sustainable and lucrative. And although Mr. T had been ‘educated’ on the truth behind pro-wrestling’s worked nature, Piper still treated it as a shoot and wanted Mr. T to see it the same way even though it wasn’t necessarily the truth.

Then again, there was a method to Piper’s madness: if Mr. T felt it was real then he’d put more effort into making his ‘beef’ with Piper authentic. Even though he was an actor, he understood that if he knew it was fake/scripted then there wouldn’t be the same emotional impact in his promos/program with Piper than if it was real.

So Piper channeled his passion into several promos insulting Mr. T. for being an outsider taking a marquee spot meant for wrestlers. Mr. T didn’t take these insults lying down and continued training in boxing until he managed to beat Bob Orton at Saturday Night’s Main Event. But despite that win, Orton and Piper attacked T two-on-one to add more heat to their match at WrestleMania.

The match

This match took place on April 7, 1986. It was rated MINUS FIVE STARS by the Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer and voted Worst Match of the Year by his readership.

As a reminder this is a BOXING MATCH divided into three-minute rounds and not a WRESTLING MATCH. They go nose-to-nose in the middle of the ring and then some shoving ensues. Then Round 1 begins with some jabs and clinches by the ropes. Mr. T gets Piper into a corner at least once and does a bob-and-weave to avoid some jabs. This happens one more time and Mr. T gets Piper into a corner. He holds him there until the bell rings to signal the end of the first round.

Piper trash-talks Mr. T again as the second round begins. The referee wipes both combatants’ faces and another series of combination sequences ensue. Mr. T’s bob-and-weave approach stops working as Piper hammers him with rights and lefts and T can barely block. A jab drops T to the mat and the ref pushes Piper back. Mr. T gets back up at the ref’s count of seven and the next exchange continues uninterrupted until the bell rings. This time Mr. T ends the round worse for wear and not on his feet like Piper.

The wrestling theatrics continue as Piper gets a cheap-shot in on T and Bob Orton splashes water on him. Round three begins and Mr. T gets Piper in a corner with body shots. Piper goes from standing in a corner to sitting in it as T rains down on him with lefts and rights once again. The next exchange ends in a shove and then T lands a big right hand that sends Piper out of the ring. Piper retunes to the ring and the third round ends with both men in a clinch/lock-up.

A ring girl in a bikini brings a golden glove into the ring to give the fans something to be excited about and then T goes over to Piper to trash-talk, to which Piper responds by throwing his stool (the piece of furniture, not the substance).

Round four begins and now it looks like the pretense of a ‘real’ boxing match is gone as both guys trade hooks to the head. These are starting to look more like worked wrestling punches and not boxing punches. A corner clinch ends with Piper shoving the referee. Then with the ref down Piper scoop slams Mr. T. Order breaks down and the match is ruled a disqualification as the two competitors start fighting on the mat.

Winner via disqualification after 13:14: Mr. T

Post-match, the action continues with both sides’ camps getting involved in one big schmozz.

Review

So…that was a waste of time.

WWE thought that fans would tune in to see a WWE-style worked boxing match and that they’d be as entertained by that experiment as they were by normal pro-wrestling. They were clearly very wrong. This contest was awkward, filled with vain attempts at making it look legitimate. Both guys tried but they had bad material to work with. Piper landed a few convincing punches and some of T’s movements made it look like he knew what he was doing, but on the whole this was a disappointment.

It was clear that this was a blatant attempt at cashing in on Mr. T’s continued popularity but all things considered this match didn’t appeal to anyone. Wrestling fans wanted to see pro-wrestling and boxing fans could tell that this was phony boxing. Neither got what they wanted and the people in the venue were left watching something haphazard and cheered for Piper (despite him being as villainous as possible) because he was the wrestler on the wresting show they paid to see.

But is it worst-of-all-time bad? Ehh, that’s stretching it a little bit.

While this was bad, it was expected to be. No one went into WrestleMania 2 knowing of this match ahead of time and thought “this will be exciting”. It was expected to suck and it did so at least it lived up to bottom-of-the-barrel expectations. Had it gone longer – it was said to originally go ten rounds but Piper called an audible and ended things way sooner – then it would’ve reached that absolute nadir of WOAT performances. But as it stands it’s a bad one yet not bad enough to be considered truly and historically dreadful.

Final Rating: -***1/2

WrestleMania 2 is considered one of the worst – or at least forgettable – ‘Manias for very good reason. It was a failed experiment that proved that you can’t just give audiences whatever nonsense you want and expect them to react to it with universal glee, even when said nonsense involved celebrities and movie stars.

There’s nothing particularly interesting or redeeming about this match aside from seeing Piper performing magic as tries with all his might to keep this ‘contest’ mildly entertaining. So in that way this would appeal to those that like things that are inherently bad or those that like seeing someone try and make chicken salad out of chickenshit. Otherwise, this is one blemish in WrestleMania’s storied history that is best left in the past and its ideas unrepeated.

Thanks for reading.