WAR Wrestle And Romance – Mega Power In Ryogoku 12/04/94
By Maffew Gregg on 3 March 2024
Wrestle And Romance
Sumo Hall
Attendance: 10,000
Tokyo Pro announced WAR’s Arashi is joining them (hooray!) as well as NOW’s Ryo Myake, Hiroshi Hatanaka, Kishin Kawabata and Apollo Sugawara because that company is about to flatline. They were set to debut on 12/05 but had to cancel the show with no reason given. Their first show proper would be on 12/07 and would draw just under 1,000 fans. Yeah it’s cold out there right now.
Ultimo Dragon & Mini Dragon vs. Pirata Morgan & Morgan Jr
Both luchadores are teaming with their mini counterparts, but there’s barely any difference in height between the two Dragons, it’s more like when a mum dresses like her daughter and tells everyone they could be sisters. The normal-sized Dragon easily takes apart the big pirate and adds a sexy taunt as he’s really feeling it when he’s babysitting. The alleged minis tag in with the same result so we clip ahead to the pirates being unable to get any advantage, probably because they’re chopping Ultimo directly on the chest-plate. Some comedy ensues with the pirates doing more damage to each other than Ultimo, to the point where Dragoncito has to help the pirates not destroy one another. Crowd laps it up. We clip ahead to everyone busting out the dives to the outside with WAR’s production doing it’s best to miss most of them. Thankfully the follow-ups are captured, unlike the dives themselves.
Dragoncito lands the ORIHARA MOONSAULT OF 1991 because apparently that move is fair game now. A flipping body attack ends a very clipped match that apparently went 20:59. What we got was fun but I don’t know about 21 minutes of it.
Morgan Jr. would later wrestle in the Royal Rumble 1998 mini tag match as Battalion so at least his future looks a little Sunny.
Perry Saturn & John Kronus (The Eliminators) vs. Masao Orihara & Nobukazu Hirai
The Eliminators make their WAR debut! Also Orihara has a mohawk now.
We’re JIP to Hirai coming off the top with a crossbody so woeful that the crowd laughs at it and Kronus declines to sell. The Eliminators take stereo Frankensteiners but kick out at 1, followed by them taking separate moves off the top and getting no count. This is bit rough. Crowd likes The Eliminators’ Double Shoulder Tackle, so they do it again but take a Double Japanese Armdrag counter instead. Kronus misses a top rope swanton, so Orihara misses a senton, then Perry misses a splash and finally Hirai misses a nothing. Crowd are treating this like bad comedy. Total Elimination connects on Hirai to get the crowd back on their side but it isn’t their finish yet, so a Dropkick Doomsday Device ends a very clipped 14:05.
The Eliminators were never silky smooth during their heyday but this was like Lego toilet paper. Still, they left to applause so they’re automatically better than Hirai.
Kendo Nagasaki vs. Osamu Tachihikari
Kendo is still representing NOW.
We’re JIP to Osamu standing out of a Fujiwara Armbar and Kendo is so shocked he just lays there while Osamu hits him. Russian Leg Sweep gets a one-count, followed by a rubbish kneeling chokeslam. Osamu tries to deliver a clothesline by simply sticking his arm out but Kendo is absolutely not the guy to take something like that so he viciously runs Osamu into the ground, treating his arm like a maypole to run around. A meaty piledriver ends another heavily clipped encounter. I don’t know why this was included on the tape.
Osamu would go onto a successful 0-4 MMA record, including losing to Gary Goodridge VIA SUBMISSION. That’s like losing to Balrog from Street Fighter via kicks.
Animal Hamaguchi & Ryuma Go vs. Aka Oni & Ao Oni
Ryuma Go makes his WAR debut and the crowd go BANANA, yelling his name and just generally being very pleased to see him. Go has one of the most fascinating careers of any wrestler I’ve ever read about and I encourage everyone to read PWO’s article on him.
The Onis are Kim Duk and OF ALL PEOPLE Don Muraco under red and blue devil masks. This was a short-lived idea that was forgotten about when Muraco left Japan and never came back.
Anyway, we’re JIP to Go kicking the red one with the crowd yelling GO! after every strike. You know the red one is Muraco because he lies on the mat not doing anything for a few minutes. We clip ahead (because WAR doesn’t want anything shown in full from this night) to the legends sending Muraco outside and landing a few flying strikes at Duk to win at 14:39. Crowd really liked the oldies but the match barely existed.
300,000-en SCRAMBLE WAR Round Robin #1
Koki Kitahara vs. Vampiro Casanova
Koki’s mullet is quickly getting out of control and will probably be setting up it’s own splinter company after this show. JIP (AGAIN) to Vampiro busting out a hilariously awful dive to the outside.
Crowd laughs and boos while the commentators say whatever the Japanese equivalent of “didn’t get all of it” is. Vampiro makes up for it by putting Koki over the guard-rail and diving with a crossbody, which the crowd politely applauds and the camera politely misses. The production has been as terrible as the wrestling tonight. Vampiro tries a spin kick but he seems to hurt himself more than his opponent. A top rope Frankensteiner can’t put away Koki, who recovers to set up a powerbomb to be countered into another Frankensteiner, however Vamp isn’t expecting that so Koki instead awkwardly drops him on his head. Crowd are not liking this so Koki kicks Vamp in the face a few times before ending it with a Liger Bomb at 10:07. Bloody awful.
300,000-en SCRAMBLE WAR Round Robin #2
Crusher Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Koki Kitahara
Bam Bam is bringing the attitude as he always does in Japan, but Koki is in no mood after that last match and chokes Bigelow down. We’re clipped (oh come on, we’re trimming Bigelow matches now?) to Bigelow powering out but taking a Kane DDT (all knees). Bammers keeps on delivering back suplexes to Koki who refuses to give up. Eventually Bigelow lands a few flying clotheslines and a back senton puts him away at 8:16. Yeah this didn’t seem like much.
300,000-en SCRAMBLE WAR Round Robin #3
Crusher Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Vampiro Casanova
We’re JIP (hooray!) to Vampiro dodging a top rope headbutt before missing a top rope legdrop. Both men are exhausted so you’d think they were twenty minutes into something. Bigelow blocks a Sunset Flip with THE ASS but this can’t stop Vamp because he’s been THE ASS for years. Bigelow lands the turning moonsault and the crowd applaud this minute of usable footage.
WAR Six Man Tag Title Match
Jado & Gedo & Kodo Fuyuki vs. Kengo Kimura & Akitoshi Saito & Tatsutoshi Goto
NJPW are here again because it’s a big show and let’s face it, WAR needs them. Fuyuki appears to be loving the boos he’s generating. After years of mostly-indifference, it’s clearly lit a fire under him. Goto starts off and he wouldn’t react if a fire was literally underneath him. He ignores all of Gedo’s offence as the crowd roar it’s approval. Yeah well done, encourage Goto to do nothing. Don’t complain when he keeps getting booked. Goto demands Gedo tag out so Fuyuki comes in, hears the boos and…decides to let Jado tag in instead. YES LAD. Fuyuki comes in for real this time to take everything Goto throws at him. Goto’s still not willing to sell so instead they slap the shit out of one another until Kengo tags in to actually sell on behalf of his team. Fuyuki-Gun then stick to the cheapest tactics imaginable, complete with eye pokes and chokes and the crowd are eating it all up. Well they’ve been eating gruel for the past few hours so I don’t blame them. Saito tags in to absolutely kick the fuck out of Gedo like every wrestling reviewer in 1995 (and 2024 apparently) wished they could do. Jado takes an absolute shellacking, with no-one in the crowd wanting it to end anytime soon. Kengo lands his beautiful flying kick, followed by Saito trying to do a double team but Saito kicks Jado so hard he can’t do it. AND THE CROWD BOOS. Even if this match ends with everyone shitting themselves, it’s still saving the tape.
The absolute contempt the Heisei Ishingun have for Fuyuki-Gun is wonderful to watch, especially with Kengo landing a piledriver with Jedo barely in position because he despises him so much he can’t be bothered to do it properly. Fuyuki bashes Kengo on the outside while the Guns remove the turnbuckle because the only way the NJPW Lads are selling is if it’s cheating. Kengo bleeding and recovering means Fuyuki can really ham up his stomping and screeching. And if you know Fuyuki you know he loves both of those things. Kengo gets worn out with lariats and belt shots until the crowd get tired encouraging him and start applauding the shithousery. Especially when they tease the Superbomb which the NJPW guys are very not for, and hit all their finishers on Fuyuki to prevent it. The Guns make Goto take one move and then he immediately lariats them down and it’s back to Saito treating Gedo like a piñata. Gedo just absorbs more and more brutal shots until Fuyuki runs in to cause the match to fall apart, only letting Gedo take even more kicks…but still able to kick out of a Goto German Suplex, mostly out of spite. Saito runs right into a Fuyuki lariat as he’s stood on the apron, causing him to YELL and STOMP even more and stopping the crowd’s cheers immediately. Ha! The crowd respect Jado & Gedo but they loathe Fuyuki. Crowd begs Saito to not tap out to him and they cheer wildly when Goto batters the Gun yet again. Saito’s the designated whipping boy for a bit with the Guns busting out all their double teams, before deciding that’s enough and wipe out the NJPW lads on the outside to allow Fuyuki to powerbomb Saito…for two. Dammit!
So that means it’s time for The Superbomb which IS ALSO KICKED OUT OF. Jesus. In 1994? So that means the Mega Butt Drop is enough to – NO, Kengo makes the save as Gedo and Jado drag their opponents to the outside long enough for Fuyuki to land a Yelling Lariat and a Stretch Plumb and…YEAH THAT’S ENOUGH FOR THE WIN at 26:52 with Fuyuki flexing his muscles at a raging Goto afterwards.
What a blinder. If you like six-man tags and dick-head tactics, you could do a lot worse than watching some Fuyuki Gun matches. They even managed to drag Goto to something watchable! Tons of hate here and that’s all I ask for.
Genichiro Tenryu vs. Koji Kitao
Tenryu has some sort of kinship with Kitao because of their shared sumo past but at this point it also feels like necessity. There’s no NJPW, no FMW, no Hara, no Super Strong Machine…just Kitao and his cult of personality somehow drawing 10,000 fans.
It’s under Round Rules which is for the best. Crowd is really into this and the tension is there with neither wanting to properly engage straight away. Kitao’s blows are STILL awful despite being given a whole Dojo to train in. Even Tenryu’s sumo strikes are 100% better than his and he’s able to kick Kitao in the head for good measure. Kitao sees Tenryu climb the ropes and run away which sums him up: he’s really good at not doing stuff. Tenryu oversells one of his strikes so he takes a breather and then lies down on the mat to tease Inoki/Ali II before the bell rings. Hey apart from Kitao’s awful blows that was fairly exciting!
Round Two starts with more Kitao striking, and even with Tenryu standing directly in front of him he still can’t seem to land anything properly. A Uranage is treated seriously until Tenryu kicks Kitao from a lying down position (aka the counter from WWF No Mercy) and then Tenryu lands a Rolling Kick into the walking mattress. Tenryu gets an armbar and keeps Kitao grounded until he’s able to counter and choke Tenryu on the mat until the bell rings.
The Seconds nearly start some argy-bargy before Round Three, letting Kitao get a much-needed breather. Tenryu slaps Kitao away but the big man is able to land a kick to nearly get the TKO victory. Kitao lands the same disgusting sit-out Owendriver he murdered Al Snow with but Tenryu kicks out at two AND IMMEDIATELY STARTS SWINGING FOR KITAO. Tenryu gets a wild volley until Kitao lands a giant fucking axe kick to Tenryu’s shoulder for the shock win at 1:28!
Crowd is stunned. I know giving the hot tempered idiot a Dojo only to have him lose the first big match would have been counter-productive, but it was still a shock to see Tenryu lose and even more shocking was how good the match was! One of the all-time great carry jobs as Tenryu manoeuvred Kitao into every spot he needed him in at that exact moment, while overselling everything whilst maintaining credibility. And fair play to Kitao for taking the lumps being thrown at him too. Ultimately the match worked because Kitao was treated seriously as a threat rather than the joke you’d think Tenta and Takada would have reduced him to.
Overall: The end of one of the JoJo Bizarre Adventures sagas sees the villain getting caught in a never-ending death cycle, waking up in a new world only for a new threat to immediately kill him. This show felt like this, just a never-ending series of bad ideas and worse wrestling. Until it uh ended with the final two matches which are absolutely worth hunting down. But WAR continues to survive on it’s main eventers and outside help, rather than thrive because of it’s core roster. Something’s got to give soon.
