The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.15.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.15.23

I got a link for that DDT show but at 6 hours I probably won’t be reviewing it this week. I did want to watch the IWGP Junior Heavyweight title belt stealing the show at least.

Live from Ontario, CA. Not to be confused with Ontario, CAN.

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

LAST WEEK: A devil-sanctioned attack on the Acclaimed leaves MJF without backup, again.

Hook & Orange Cassidy v. Jon Moxley & Wheeler Yuta

Oh great, now we’ve got Draft Kings logos on the mat. That’s one thing I can at least give Vince: It looks tacky because THE MAT IS SACRED. It’s a big brawl in the crowd to start as Moxley hauls Orange up the stairs and chokes him out with a t-shirt. Into the ring for the actual start of the match as Yuta slams Hook for two. You know who else liked to use full body lifts and slams? CM PUNK. Just saying. Hook comes back with a judo throw and it’s over to Moxley, but Hook throws him with a suplex and the BCC double-team him to take over. Hook tries the choke on Moxley, but Yuta yanks him out of the ring as Orange finally returns from the void he was in and gets the hot tag. He comes in with a flying DDT on Moxley and puts the boots to him, but the BCC counter a DDT attempt into a Hart Attack for two. We take a break and return with Moxley putting the boots to Orange, but Hook gets a hot tag and slugs it out with Yuta. Northern lights suplex gets two. Yuta with a rolling elbow and they’re both down, but Hook gets a cradle for two. Mox puts him down with a cutter, but Orange hits Moxley with the Orange Punch, and Mox just gets angry and tosses Orange. And Yuta comes in and finishes Hook with the seat belt at 11:40. I don’t know what happened but this one didn’t click at all. And the crowd was shockingly quiet for the whole thing. **1/2. And then Moxley basically promises to kill Orange at the PPV and the crowd is like “Oh, OK then.”

Meanwhile, Kenny Omega and his pals show up for the street fight.

Face to Face: Hangman Page v. Swerve Strickland

Hangman goes for the throat right away, calling Swerve “dumber than he was two years ago when his dumb ass got fired” and then bringing up his fiancé leaving and taking the kids with her. Oh also, Prince Nana does his funny little dance and then takes Swerve’s money and buys weed from a high school kid in the parking lot. And Page is gonna beat Swerve and STEAL HIS WEED. He should come to Canada, it’s literally on every corner here. I can literally have it delivered to my home. And then Page points out that although he can’t attack Swerve, he can definitely attack Nana, and does so until security pulls them apart.

Meanwhile, Roderick Strong knows who the Devil is, and calls Adam Cole (his best friend) to reveal that MJF is under the mask. Adam isn’t buying it, but the crowd is certainly buying into ADAM!

Skye Blue v. Red Velvet

Winner of this joins the TBS title match on Saturday. Velvet works the arm to start and they go to a stalemate, but Velvet takes her down for two. Red chokes her out in the corner and a low dropkick gets two. Skye bails to the floor and catches Red with a DDT from the apron and we take a break. Back with a rollup battle and they kick each other for the double down. Velvet tries the spinning kick and misses, and Skye hits the Skyfall for two. Not the Skyfall! Velvet powerbombs her for two. They fight to the top and Velvet takes her down with a victory roll for two. They trade superkicks and Blue finishes with a messed up Code Blue at 10:42. Match was fine but a bit sloppy. **1/2

Meanwhile, Miro has words of warning for Daniel Garcia and anyone else who would get tangled up with CJ Perry.

Meanwhile, Mariah May manages to find Toni Storm’s dressing room despite the “Not Toni Storm” sign on the door, thanks to RJ City.

Samoa Joe v. Jon Cruz

Usual Joe squash here as he finishes with the choke in 90 seconds.

Meanwhile, we learn about the TK G1, which is starting soon.

The Young Bucks v. Komander & Penta

Although I still think the Bucks should have gone to WWE when they had the chance recently, signing a big money contract and then working a Roman Reigns schedule is pretty baller. Big schmoz to start and the Bucks chase the luchadors out of the ring, but Penta uses Komander for a rocker launcher on Matt back in the ring. Bucks double-team Komander in their corner and we take a break. Back with Komander hitting Nick with a top rope rana, and then ropewalking into another rana that sends the Bucks into each other outside. And then Penta hits them both with a dive and back in for a sling blade on Matt before hitting Nick with a tope all in one motion. Komander comes off the top with a double DDT on the Bucks off Penta’s shoulders, and Made in Japan on Matt gets two. Komander goes up and misses a 450, and Matt comes back with the rolling northern lights. Komander reverses out of the Meltzer Driver and the Bucks collide on the apron, allowing Penta to hit Nick with a Fear Factor on the apron while Komander cradles Matt for two. Next up, Komander with a ropewalk into a destroyer on Nick, launching himself off Penta’s shoulders, and Penta powerslams Matt for two. Matt and Penta slug it out with superkicks and Nick comes in for some of his own and then kicks Komander RIGHT IN THE HUEVOS. And then he follows with a Judas Effect on Penta to be a dick and they finish Komander with the BTE Trigger at 12:00. This was a non-stop sprint and really woke up the crowd. ****1/4.

Meanwhile, Kenny is pretty disgusted with the Bucks’ tactics out there, but the Bucks clarify that their heat is with Jericho, not Kenny.

The Gunns v. Local Geeks

310 to Yuma finishes at 0:20.

Meanwhile, Wardlow is also gunning for MJF.

Like A Dragon Street Fight: Powerhouse Hobbs, Konosuke Takeshita, Brian Cage & Kyle Fletcher v. Chris Jericho, Kenny Omega, Kota Ibushi & Paul Wight

They immediately brawl up the ramp and Wight chokeslams Fletcher off the stage and kind of onto a table and that looked terrifying. In the ring the Golden Lovers hit the Golden Triangle moonsault as they continue to NEVER EVER call them the Golden Lovers for some reason. And Wight is beating on Hobbs on a car outside. Omega tries to use a barbed wire bat on Takeshita, but he gets run into a noodle sign instead, and then Ibushi rides a bike down the ramp and then gets his head taken off by Cage in a funny spot. Meanwhile Hobbs slams Wight off a high place and onto the car, and we just kind of move on. Takeshita uses the bike as a weapon and we take a break. Back with Takeshita and Jericho brawling into the VIP Club and apparently Fletcher is still alive so that’s a positive. Sometimes they do chaos really well and other times it’s just a bunch of stuff happening at once, and that’s what this feels like. Omega takes a suplex on a pallet, but comes back with snapdragons as we keep cutting to the back for Jericho and Takeshita. Takeshita dives off a cooler, but Jericho sprays him with a fire extinguisher. Meanwhile the Golden Lovers double-team Cage, but Hobbs returns to save and that allows Cage to suplex Kenny off the apron and through a table as we take another break. Back with Fletcher running wild now, and he hits Ibushi with a jumping tombstone off the apron and through a pile of chairs at ringside. But then Jericho and Omega double-team Hobbs with a Judas Effect and V-Trigger. And Hobbs gets taped to the ropes and gagged. If only they would do that to Callis. Cage saves and runs wild, but Omega hits him with a poison rana after a bat shot from Jericho, and the One Winged Angel finishes at 21:04. This was…a lot of a lot. Just kind of kept going and we were never given any time to process anything happening. **. The most egregious example was Hobbs slamming Wight off the car, which should have been the FINISH, and just kind of ended up as a throwaway spot. Would I say I hated it? Yeah I kind of hated it.

Main Event Interview: MJF joins us to discuss the situation with the Devil and Jay White. He’s admittedly getting scared but he’ll push through it and beat White anyway. Also whoever stole his Devil mask is gonna pay. This brings out Jay White and his sweet exotic accent, which sets up a sneak attack from the Bang Bang Gang. And MJF is left laying to end the show in an incredibly flat go-home finish.

I know we’re always like “Man the PPV looks weak” and then they have a banger of a go-home show to prove us wrong, but this one did NOTHING to make me particularly excited or interested in Full Gear. Aside from the Hangman promo. One thing for sure, the Devil stuff has peaked and it’s time to pay it off at the PPV and be done with it.