The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 01.07.84

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 01.07.84

It occurs to me that I missed this one and probably should have started here. If we’re gonna do this 1984 deep dive we might as well do it right.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mean Gene

Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlas v. Bill Dixon & Charlie Fulton

So one big change they needed to make and fast was replacing the old ring announcer with Finkel. I don’t know when it happens exactly but it can’t come soon enough. Atlas & Johnson were the tag team champions at this point, and speak of the devil, Howard Finkel does a voiceover shilling an LA house show. So weird that the other promoters were like “Oh man, why would anyone want to go into CALIFORNIA, LOL?” and just kind of ignored Vince moving into that gigantic population center. Fulton trades hammerlocks with Atlas and it’s over to Bill Dixon. The champs double-team him and work the arm in the corner, and Rocky finishes with a sunset flip at 3:11.

Dr. D David Schultz v. Steve Lombardi

Poor Steve gets introduced as “Lombardo” by the 98 year old ring announcer. And then it’s “Mr. D” for his opponent. Also notable is the debuting Rowdy Roddy Piper hanging around at ringside as manager. Dr. D slams Lombardi a few times and hits him with a backbreaker out of the corner as even Mean Gene is calling him “Lombardo”. D puts him down with a back elbow and goes up with a flailing elbow drop to finish at 1:52. Schultz looked like a star here and could cut a promo too.

Speaking of which, Piper and Dr. D join Mean Gene for an interview, and Piper is COKED UP and going nuts, claiming that Dr. D can “press slam a 747”. Um, Homelander would beg to differ with that claim. Piper notes that they’re both 28 and in their prime, although Piper was still a few years away from his.

The Iron Sheik v. John Callahan

Historic moment for you geeks, with one of the very few appearances of the Sheik as World champion before dropping it. And Sheik draws some monster heat from the crowd here. Sheik with a clothesline while Finkel is shilling “Victory Magazine” this time, which was the forerunner for the WWF Magazine. Sheik deadlifts the jobber into a gut wrench slam and puts the pointy toed boots to him. Backdrop suplex and camel clutch finish at 2:18.

Sgt. Slaughter joins Mean Gene to discuss his upcoming battle royale in LA, still very much a heel. Also Tito Santana would like to win that battle royale on behalf of Mexico.

Tito Santana v. Bob Bradley

I didn’t realize Bradley went this far back. He was always a good hand who earned himself a brief push as Battle Kat later on. Bradley runs away immediately and Tito hauls him back in and works the arm while Vince reads a question from Michael Brown from Pontiac MI, who asks what the highest Jimmy Snuka ever got was. Probably the night he murdered his girlfriend. Also Vince apologizes for accidentally claiming that Mildred Burke was dead last week. If only that was the worst thing he ever did to a woman. Tito finishes with the flying forearm at 2:50.

VICTORY CORNER! WITH ROBERT DEBORD!

The readership of Victory Magazine wants to know about Iron Sheik’s WWF title victory, but the Sheik notes that Iran already knows about him and he doesn’t need to put himself over for them. And then he puts himself over anyway.

The Masked Superstar v. Victor Mercado

The Superstar takes Mercado down with a facelock and then works a chinlock before putting him down with a clothesline. This earns him one of Vince’s highest praises, that of the superstar who can mix it up in a rough-house fashion, and a neckbreaker finishes at 1:17. Really demolished him there, huh?

The Wild Samoan #3 v. Bob Backlund

The young Samoan here went on to be Headshrinker Samu although he was very green at this point. The other Samoans are hanging around ringside, no doubt looking for trouble. Vince notes that this was supposed to be a tag team match with a mystery partner for Backlund, but Lou Albano refused because he doesn’t trust mystery partners. Fair enough. So Backlund dominates the Samoan #3 and the other Samoans threaten to storm the ring, so Bob goes to the back and finds HULK HOGAN to be his partner and even things up as the crowd EXPLODES. Do you feel the business changing? Because it just did. Samu works the arm and chops Bob down, but Backlund fires back and PROCRURES THE CHICKEN WING, which prompts the Samoans to run in for the DQ at 4:40. But then Hulk comes in and promptly kicks all their asses, including a shot for Lou Albano, and every other promoter in the country might as well have just shut it down and handed the keys to Vince right there. I bet Bob wouldn’t have picked him as a tag partner in hindsight.

Afterwards, Mean Gene interviews Backlund and Hogan, and Bob puts him over and declares that Hulk is a good man who has changed his ways for good, and then Hulk does his first shirt-tearing interview and the crowd loses their minds.

Mr. Fuji v. Dennis Hill

Fuj beats Hill down with chops and facelocks him before putting him down with another chop. Fuji beats on the back and slams him, setting up the Banzai headbutt to finish at 2:31.

Next week: Mr. Fuji & Tiger Chung Lee v. Bob Backlund & Hulk Hogan! Not liking the chances for Fuji’s team there.

Oh man Vince was the warpath already with this one. You can just see all the big new stars coming in and the old ones going out. This is gonna be a ride.