The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 10.21.23
By Scott Keith on 21st October 2023
The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 10.21.23
Live from Memphis, TN
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Kevin Kelly & Nigel McGuinness
Bryan Danielson v. Andrade el Idolo
They trade wristlocks to start and Andrade works the arm, but Bryan suplexes out of it. Meanwhile Kevin finally asks why Nigel keeps calling Bryan “a clamdigger” in an insulting manner, and Nigel brushes him off. They trade cradles for two and Andrade tries a headlock and Bryan reverses out of that for two. Nigel gives us the Zach Gowan reference of the week while insulting Bryan again, and they try for submissions on the mat and it’s a stalemate. Andrade goes for a figure-four and Bryan kicks out of it and they’re at a stalemate again. So they trade chops next and Bryan tries to throw him out of the ring, but Andrade goes tranquilo and suckers Bryan into a dive that misses. So they fight on the floor and Bryan runs him into the post and hits him with the flying knee from the apron. Back in the ring, Bryan goes after the arm and stomps the elbow before throwing kicks. Andrade fires back with a flying forearm, but Bryan blocks the corner dropkick and bails to the floor. Andrade keeps coming with a moonsault out there, and back in with a split legged moonsault for two. They fight to the top and Bryan sends him down with a headbutt and follows with a missile dropkick before beating on Andrade with the kicks. But then Andrade catches the leg and works on that with dragon screws, which Danielson reverses into a Lebell attempt. Back to the top and Bryan gets into the Tree of Woe as Tony also questions Nigel’s issues with Bryan Danielson, but Nigel continues to plead ignorance. Andrade with the double stomp for two. He tries the double moonsault, but Bryan manages to counter the second moonsault and stomps him into the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring. Andrade reverses out and into the figure-four, but Bryan escapes that and they slug it out. Bryan wins that and tries the knee, but Andrade rolls him up and they trade cradles for two until Bryan wins with a crucifix at 18:51. Bryan Danielson has a technical masterpiece on Collision, sun rises in the morning, film at 11. ****. But after a handshake, the lights go out and Malakai Black pops in to wipe out Bryan with the Black Mass kick. And then the lights go out again and he disappears before the BCC can save. Well that could lead to some fun stuff.
Meanwhile, Darby Allin invites Nick Wayne to join him on Dynamite.
Skye Blue v. Hollyhood Haley
Tony notes that other Tony will be giving Sting a very special gift on Dynamite after his announcement. Nigel: “It’s not Robocop again, is it?” I don’t think WBD has the rights anyway, thank god. Skye quickly beats Hollyhood down, but Haley fights back with knees before falling victim to a powerbomb. Code Blue finishes at 2:00.
The Gunns v. THE OUTRUNNERS
Oh the Gunns are in trouble now! They done messed with the most young, tan and vascular team in wrestling! Turbo Floyd controls Colton with hiptosses, but he gets stomped down in the corner and then Austin comes in and somehow manages to beat on both Outrunners at the same time. 310 to Yuma finishes Floyd at 1:57. Obviously they weren’t ready and deserve a rematch. I’m going to file an official complaint with Tony Khan’s office on their behalf.
Meanwhile, the mysterious devil appears in the dressing room and then disappears again, which has the crowd accusing MJF.
Meanwhile, Kris Statlander can’t find anything to use as weights, so she presses Lexi Nair instead.
MEMPHIS STREET FIGHT: Jeff Jarrett v. Eddie Kingston
If they don’t have a stunt granny at ringside for this, what are we even doing here? Also Dave Brown joins us on commentary for good measure. The brawl starts on the ramp and Eddie fights off the clown show by himself, but Jarrett starts hitting him with garbage cans as they wander over to a well placed concession stand. So Eddie throws hot dogs at him and Jeff throws a piece of railing, so I guess Jeff wins that one. But then Eddie uses KETCHUP AND MUSTARD to put Jeff on the table, but Karen saves her husband and Jay Lethal comes out of nowhere with a cutter to put Eddie through the table. So Eddie busted open and Jeff hits him with the cooler lid and then finds a barbed wire baseball bat for some abuse with that. Meanwhile, Kevin relates the origin story of Eddie Kingston, as he apparently was given a tape called “Memphis’s Bloodiest Brawls” as a child and became a fan for life. Now that’s good parenting. Also I did some research and I can’t find any evidence of a tape by that name existing. There is a pretty good YouTube channel, however. Jarrett suplexes him onto a table at ringside, but it doesn’t break, so Jeff drops an elbow to finish the job. Into the ring, JJ beats on him with a lead pipe and a garbage can while Karen yells at the front row. Jeff destroys Eddie’s knee with a table AND the chairs, which sets up a figure-four. Eddie reverses that and fights out, and then fights back on both Jarrett and Lethal with chops. Backfist on Jarrett gets two, but Lethal saves. So Eddie suplexes him out of the ring and then nails Satnam with the guitar, but Jarrett hits the Stroke for two. Jarrett’s heel celebration before going for the pin is tremendous. This man is a national treasure. So then Karen beats on Kingston and Satnam gets revenge with a chokeslam, and another Stroke followed by a Lethal Injection finishes at 13:00 to successfully defend his Texas Chainsaw Massacre title. And earn a title shot for Jay Lethal apparently. This earns 17 bottles of mustard out of 17.
Meanwhile, Billy Gunn and Anthony Bowens note that Max Caster is off doing something else, but they’ll still handle 2.0 later tonight. I see, the devil appears on screen and Max Caster is conveniently off somewhere else, eh?
Miro v. Action Andretti
CJ Perry joins us at ringside while Nigel gives the other two relationship advice. Miro beats on Action in the corner, but Andretti lands on his feet from a biel and fires back with dropkicks. But then he tries a springboard and Miro levels him, before destroying him with clotheslines and dumping him to the floor. Miro beats on him out there, and back in for more abuse as he continues to mop the floor with Andretti. Action fights back and slugs away in the corner, and then manages to get Miro to the floor for a dive. Back in the ring, he tries a crossbody and Miro catches him and slams him, and it’s GAME OVER, but Andretti escapes and runs him into the post for two. Shotgun dropkick and Action gets a 450 for two. But then Miro has had enough and puts him down for GAME OVER at 9:16. This was a weirdly heatless match as they had a style clash and it didn’t work. *1/2
Meanwhile, the JAS continues falling apart over dancing, and then they wander off and Ruby Soho comes in and demands to be a champion. Well she’s in the right place because there’s 50 different belts in the promotion.
Meanwhile, Rush rages about other people getting what he deserved.
Meanwhile, Eddie Kingston is pretty sick of Jay Lethal’s carny bullshit and declares him to be “Jeff Jarrett’s little bitch”. And now he’s gonna have to beat Jay down in front of his own mother and his mother is gonna cry because Jay deserves the beating. Well if Jay needs a father, I know a guy.
FTR v. Bad Thad Brown & Darion Bankston
Now those are some quality jobber names. Lights go out again and it’s Malakai Black again, and this time he brings the House of Black for a beatdown.
AEW World tag team title: Ricky Starks & Big Bill v. Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli
Not sure why they’re still using an ROH title graphic for the BCC’s video wall. Unless they won something else recently, which admittedly I might have forgotten about. Yuta takes Starks down and works the arm before cradling for two. Over to Big Bill and he beats Yuta down in the corner and tosses him to the apron. Yuta preps for a springboard, but gets distracted by Starks and Bill dumps him to the floor for a trip to the railing. Back in the ring, Bill chokes Yuta out and runs him into the corner and stops to dance. They continue cutting off the ring and torturing Yuta, and Starks takes out Claudio to cut off the tag, allowing Bill to hit a Bossman slam for two. Bill misses a charge and it’s a double down, but Claudio returns and gets the hot tag. He mauls Starks with corner clotheslines and even gives us a Swiss ropewalk and dropkick for two. Starks bails to escape the Giant Swing, so Claudio follows him out and hits both guys with forearms. Back in the ring and Claudio hits Ricky with a superplex and into a crossface, and a running forearm gets two. But then Bill cuts off the comeback with a big boot and that gets two. BCC with a double-team dropkick on Bill and that gets two. But then Bill puts Yuta down with a lariat for two. So I guess it’s back to beating on Yuta again. Bill with a powerbomb for two as this match is really dragging and it’s way too long for the guys involved. Yuta brings in Claudio for another hot tag and he runs wild with a lariat on Starks for two. Giant Swing into the Yuta dropkick gets two. But then it’s lights out and the House of Black returns again, taking out Claudio and allowing Starks to finish Yuta at 20:44 to retain. This one never got past first gear. **1/4.
Afterwards, FTR and the rest of the BCC all get involved for the big messy brawl, which Ricky gets the worst of, and that’s where we wrap it up.
Mostly a fun show, but that main event was not worth the time given and made the last half of the show kind of a drag, unfortunately.
Tomorrow: Battle of the Belts VIII!