The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.10.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.10.23

“Title Tuesday!”

And NOW, the SHOW THAT CHANGES WRESTLING FOREVER. The rating for these two shows will echo through wrestling history for DAYS. DAYS I SAY.

Christian Cage welcomes us to the show, and he’s in the truck so you know it’s serious. And he announces that he’s procrured the first 30 minutes of the show commercial-free for us.

Live from Independence, MO

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Excalibur & Tazz

Bryan Danielson v. Swerve Strickland

Winner of this gets Christian on Collision for the TNT title. They fight over a knucklelock and do some cool reversals off that, and battle to a stalemate. Danielson goes for a kneebar and Swerve rolls out of it and trips Danielson up and into a cradle for two. They trade near falls off that and it’s another stalemate. Swerve tries for a suplex and puts Danielson on the apron instead, and they slug it out there. Swerve gets a backbreaker onto the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Back in the ring, Swerve with the elbow to the back and a knee strike for two. Powerslam gets one and then he rolls Bryan right into a brainbuster for two. Swerve catches a kick and hits Bryan with a backbreaker, then goes up with a 450 that hits knees. Swerve bails to the floor, but Danielson hits him with a knee off the apron and goes up with a missile dropkick and the kick combo for two. He tries for the knee, but Swerve counters with a body kick and puts Bryan on the floor. Bryan gets hung in the Tree of Woe and Swerve hits him with a double stomp from the top from the top, but he comes in with another double stomp and Bryan rolls him into a half crab. Swerve counters out, so Bryan turns it into a heel hook and Swerve has to make the ropes. Bryan goes up and they fight up there, with Bryan bringing him down with a superplex. Danielson KICKS HIS FUCKING HEAD IN and wraps him up in the Lebell Lock, but Swerve makes the ropes with his leg while Bryan traps the arm. Danielson tries the corner kicks, but his liver gives out like he’s Frank Gallagher and Swerve hits the head kick and Swerve Stomp for two. Prince Nana takes the ref and leaves Swerve the crown, but Hangman steals it back and Bryan counters the JML Driver into a cradle for two. Bu Saiku knee finishes at 17:54. So Danielson gets the title shot and the Hangman-Swerve feud continues and this was an awesome opener. ****1/2. Bryan is having the run of a lifetime.

Meanwhile, Samoa Joe is on the road to the World title again, starting on Collision this Saturday.

Chris Jericho v. Powerhouse Hobbs

Hobbs has new gear and it’s FIRE. This is a man who is ready to slap meat. They do the hockey fight to start as Taz lets us know that Hobbs has always hated Jericho and no one knows that. Huge if true. Hobbs with the spinebuster for two. Another spinebuster as some smartass in the crowd asks “Name a good Sonic game”. Sonic 2, Sonic Adventure, Sonic Adventure 2. There you go. Hobbs with a THIRD spinebuster and some quality trashtalking before delivering a headbutt, and then another spinebuster as Don Callis demands that he work the liver. What is this, liver injury night? The man is a ROCK STAR. His liver was probably destroyed 10 years ago. Another spinebuster, but Jericho fights back and dodges a blind charge. Jericho with the codebreaker for two off that. Hobbs flattens him with another spinebuster as the man’s spine is well and truly busted by now, but Jericho clips the knee in desperation and puts him in the Walls. And then Hobbs just powers out and powerslams him for two. Another powerslam and that finishes, with one knee on his face, at 7:28. You cannot say that Jericho didn’t put him over 100% there. Now if only Hobbs hadn’t done the job for Miro, which by the way lead to NOTHING for Miro. This was cool and different. ***

Meanwhile, back at Roderick Strong’s house, Adam Cole has been there for a week and still hasn’t had his surgery, but Roddy needs the grass mowed. Thankfully we learn the meaning of the toy giraffe, Rick Strong, which is apparently the neck-strongiest animal. Oh and there’s no cell service or TV at the house as we’re getting into some real Misery vibes here.

AEW International title: Rey Fenix v. Orange Cassidy

Jon Moxley is still injured, so Orange finally gets his rematch instead. They slug it out to start and Fenix puts him down with clotheslines, but his back gives out on a suplex attempt. Fenix still pops up with a ropewalk kick for two and then punts Orange in the head, setting up a frog splash for two. Orange dropkicks him in the back to put him on the floor and then sends him into the crowd via the railing. He runs Fenix into the post to further work the back, but Fenix kicks him from the apron, so Orange drops him on the apron. Back in the ring, Orange goes up and Fenix cuts him off. Orange with the diving DDT and a tornado DDT for two. Fenix cuts off the Orange Punch with a superkick, but he hurts his back again and Orange hits the Beach Break for two. Another Orange Punch hits clean this time and the Mouse Trap finishes at 4:40 to regain the title. I feel like they were gonna put the title back on Moxley here and then do a rematch with Orange at the PPV, and the injury sped up the plan. That being said, Fenix was clearly walking wounded and wasn’t leaving with the belt, and this felt kind of flat given the last minute nature. Knowing what we do in hindsight, Orange should have just gone over Moxley in the first place and kept the title. **

Meanwhile, Timeless Toni Storm presents her very own short film, “Lover’s Lament”, which airs during the first commercial break of the show at 48:00 in.

Wardlow v. Matt Sydal

Four powerbombs stops the match at 0:54.

Meanwhile, Daniel Garcia goes to check on Jericho, but Daddy Magic wants none of that from him.

Hangman Page v. Jay White

Bullet Club rides tricycles to the ring in something that feels like a specific reference to something that I’m not getting. Jay bails and stalls for a bit, and we take a break. Back with Jay hitting Hangman with chops in the corner and then takes Page down with a dragon screw, but Page escapes a suplex and slugs back, setting up a death valley driver. They slug it out and Hangman gets the fallaway slam and standing shooting star for two. White bails and Page tries a dive and misses, but recovers with an apron powerbomb and back in for another powerbomb that gets two. White hits the bad knee and suplexes him into the turnbuckles, and then follows with a kneebreaker on the apron, which you may have heard is THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. We take another break and return with Page hitting a blockbuster off the top rope and both guys are down off that. White thumbs him in the eye and follows with the uranage for two. They fight to the top again and Page necks him on the turnbuckle to put him on the floor, and follows with the moonsault, hurting his knee on the way down again. Back in with the buckshot, but Jay catches him in a german suplex for two. He clips the knee and follows with a sleeper suplex, but Hangman pops up with a lariat and they’re both down again. Page with anoher buckshot attempt, but the knee gives out, so he hits the Deadeye instead and Bullet Club distracts the ref to prevent the pin. This brings Nana out for a receipt, but Page foils him, and White rolls him up with a handful of tights at 18:17. Kind of Hangman’s own fault for wearing the belt and giving the guy something to hang onto. Page is on a losing streak but having some great matches while doing so. ****. This brings out MJF, who demands the belt back. Jay refuses due to the rudeness of the crowd, so Max accuses Jay of using the Bang Bang Gang the way he used to use the Pinnacle. And now he can look at himself in the mirror, so he tells Jay to be a man and give back what has not yet been earned. Juice rolling around laughing at that offer is tremendous. So White has a counter-offer: Find 3 people who can tolerate him and face the Bang Bang Gang and maybe he’ll get it back. Also, next week they’re doing the Dynamite Diamond Ring battle royale, as Juice is entering it. And also he’s got a roll of quarters with Max’s name on it. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh maybe not the best week for antisemitic heat. That one probably should have been stopped from going on TV. I mean, there’s no really good time for it, but even more so right now. That one immediately put a really uncomfortable feeling on the segment.

AEW Women’s title: Saraya v. Hikaru Shida

Perhaps they should get the belt off Saraya before her back falls aparts or she self-destructs on Twitter. They slug it out and Shida gets an enzuigiri to put Saraya on the floor. Back in, Shida with a Burning hammer, but Ruby Soho tries to attack with the spraypaint, but Shida catches her and Toni Storm saves with the SHOES. We take a break and return with Shida hitting a high knee and slugging away in the corner, and a missile dropkick gets two. Shida goes up again and Saraya pulls her down with a slam on the apron. Shida fires back with a german suplex on the apron, and a running knee for two. Saraya with the Nightcap DDT for two and manages to spray Shida in the face with the paint, and another Nightcap gets two. A third one is reversed to the falcon arrow for two, but Saraya reverses to a cradle for two, and Shida reverses again for the pin at 12:00. Yeah they can only do so much smoke and mirrors with Saraya and her time was done. **1/2.

Meanwhile, MJF isn’t in the mood to be interviewed, but Adam still isn’t picking up his phone due to being held hostage at Roddy’s house and all. So the Acclaimed stop by and offer to team with him, but Caster comes on too strong. Billy wants to know what Caster’s obsession with MJF is but Caster likes when MJF “plays hard to get”. Oh yeah, they’re definitely the masked devil gang trying to win Max’s favor.

Luchasaurus v. Adam Copeland

Christian points out that the different between himself and Adam is that he didn’t take “some ragtag group of guys dressed up like it’s Halloween and try to convince them they’re tough guys”, he’s raising a FAMILY. Also Adam needs him, and he doesn’t need Adam. Also Beth is a huge fan. So this brings out Copeland to attack, but Nick Wayne grabs his leg and Luchasaurus lays him out with the reverse lariat because Adam isn’t #NeckStrong l guess. But he starts the match anyway and Luchasaurus hits him with another lariat and a tombstone, and that gets two. Luchasaurus whips him into the corner and gets a slam as the announcers work hard to get “Cope” over as a nickname. Luchasaurus pounds away with forearms and cuts off a comeback attempt with a superkick as we take a break. Back with Nick shoving Copeland into the ringpost while Luchasaurus preps the ring steps outside, but Adam fights him off and hits a DDT off the apron. Back in the ring with a flying bodypress onto Luchasaurus’ back, and he reverses a chokeslam into the Impaler DDT for two. But then he goes up and gets booted down. They fight on the top as we tease a superplex onto the stairs, but Adam fights him off and gets a regular superplex instead for the double down. Nick Wayne puts a chair in the corner and Copeland misses a charge and runs into it, and Luchasaurus chokeslams him for two. They boot each other for another double down and Luchasaurus bails to the apron, but he blocks a spear from Copeland. So Cope dives off the stairs with another spear to the floor this time while Christian gets more agitated. Back in the ring, Nick takes the ref and Christian tries his run-in, but Copeland hits Luchasaurus with the belt instead and blames Christian. And that allows him to hit the spear to finish at 16:00. Hey, he got a hell of a match out of Luchasaurus in his debut here. ***1/2. Afterwards Christian and his family attack, but the BCC make the save and everyone brawls to end the show. Always a winning formula to end on a chaotic brawl.

With two major title changes and some great wrestling, the winners were the fans this week.