The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.04.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.04.23

Live from Stockton, CA

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho and Kenny Omega chat with Renee in advance of teaming up tonight, but Adam Copeland interrupts and meets a bemused Kenny Omega for the first time. That’s a lot of CanCon.

AEW International title: Rey Fenix v. Nick Jackson

They trade takedowns to start and then get into a chop battle that Nick loses in a rout. Fenix with a sunset flip for two, but Nick rolls him up for two. But then Rey’s back gives out and he bails to the apron for some medical attention from Penta, although I suspect he’s not actually a doctor. Nick takes him off the apron with an armdrag, but they fight into the front row and Nick brings him back in with a rana on the floor. Back in the ring, Fenix slips on a ropewalk attempt and Nick puts him down with a backstabber in the corner, sending him to the floor again. But then Fenix SWEEPS THE LEG on the apron and Nick takes a wacky facefirst bump out there as we take a break. Back with Nick hitting superkicks while Fenix keeps kipping up, until he doesn’t. Both are down for a count, but Fenix comes back with a rana for two and continues the superkick battle. It’s not quite a party yet but more of a superkick gathering and book club. They fight to the apron and both guys land on the floor, so Nick comes back in with the facebuster for two. Amazingly Fenix gets a huge babyface reaction here in California with Nick wearing California-themed gear and everything. They both springboard up to the top rope while trying a wristlock, and Nick brings him down with a cutter off the top for two. Nick spikes him with a reverse rana and follows with a destroyer, and that gets two. Nick with a shining wizard and BTE Trigger, for two. But then Fenix blocks a superkick and kicks the leg, and pops up to the top with a frog splash for two. Fenix with a spinkick in the corner and he tries the sitout piledriver, but Nick reverses to a cradle for two, and Fenix reverses that for the pin at 13:11 to retain. Insane non-stop action match. ****1/4.

Meanwhile, Adam Cole delays his surgery to go visit Roderick Strong in the hospital, which gives us an epic wheelchair v. scooter race. Unfortunately the audio was completely muffled either on TSN or the original TBS signal and we missed about 90% of the joke as a result.

Wardlow v. Griff Garrison

Well, Wardlow’s back all of a sudden, with hair now. And it’s a bunch of powerbombs to finish as the ref stops the match at 1:00. And then Wardlow just stomps off into the crowd again. We meet the Meaty Men Division with him and Hobbs and Miro and they can all slap meat.

Meanwhile, Don Callis and Takeshita discuss the medical issues which are apparently preventing Sammy from working tonight. So Kyle Fletcher will be teaming with Takeshita instead.

Meanwhile, we get a replay of the previous Adam Cole and Roddy shenanigans, as it turns out that Roddy’s emergency was needing furniture moved because the Kingdom don’t know anything about feng shui. Fair. So poor Adam has to move tables with his broken ankle, but then Roddy has one more request as we leave it.

The Acclaimed & Daddy Ass v. Kip Sabian & Butcher & Blade

The Acclaimed clear the ring so they can scissor, but Sabian moonsaults them as we take a break. Back with Bowens making the comeback and hitting Sabian with the facecrusher for two. Scissor Me Timbers on the Blade and they double-team Kip for the pin at 5:26. Literally the whole match was during the break so I can’t even rate it.

Toni Storm: A Portrait of a Star

Poor RJ City has to interview Toni again and gets a pair of shoes thrown at him, but Toni soon realizes that she’s TIMELESS. This apparently was the “big announcement” teased for her earlier.

Meanwhile, Bryan Danielson is pretty sure that Zack Sabre doesn’t have the heart and soul for the business that he does.

Last week, Jay White confronts MJF and gets beat up by a mysterious devil as a result.

ROCK HARD JUICE ROBINSON & The Gunns join us, looking to face MJF tonight. So Max comes out and accuses Juice of having a “talentless taint”, although Juice his taint to be ROCK HARD like the rest of him. Max is still trying to get “Tofu” over but it doesn’t seem to be working. So Max offers them a Stockton Street Fight right here in this very ring, but the Bang Bang Gang runs away, allowing Jay White to appear and hit Max with the Blade Runner and walk off with the Triple B. But first, he challenges Max to a title match at Full Gear next month.

Meanwhile, Hook and Orange put each other over and enjoy some chips, and Orange is still salty about not being International champion while Moxley gets the rematch next week. Also, Renee also famously only eats Ketchup chips, so she declines, even though Hook offers some of his chips like a gentleman. I actually have a bag of Ketchup flavoured Lays in my cupboard right now, because I too am quintessentially Canadian.

Chris Jericho & Kenny Omega v. Konosuke Takeshita & Kyle Fletcher

Apparently Mark Davis snapped his wrist in the WrestleDream match, so this is certainly a good way to keep Fletcher on TV as a single. Don Callis debuts an amazing Last Supper painting of himself for the KhanTron, and Tony’s horrified reaction to that is hilarious and justifies it existing. Kenny and Chris double-team Takeshita with a suplex in the corner and we take a break. Back with Omega getting a hot tag and doing a You Can’t Escape / backstabber combo on the heels, but they regroup and hit stereo slams for two. Kenny comes back with a snapdragon on Fletcher and brings Jericho in to beat on Kyle in the corner before hitting a top rope rana. But Takeshita lays out Jericho with the lariat and everyone trades big moves, leading to a double down. Fletcher and Jericho trade chops and collide for another double down as we take another break. Back with Omega coming in for a slugfest with Fletcher, and he hits a powerbomb and knee strike for two. Takeshita saves, but Kenny hits him with the snapdragon. Jericho with a codebreaker on Fletcher, into the One Winged Angel, and that finishes at 15:20. Obviously Fletcher and Takeshita had basically zero chemistry together given the last minute nature, but it ended up being a pretty good match. ***. Afterwards, with Callis already done with Fletcher for failing him, Powerhouse Hobbs debuts as the newest member of the Callis Family and destroys Omega. Well that’s certainly an upgrade from QTV. And then we get an extended beating out in the crowd, with Hobbs choking Kenny with a piece of railing. Back in the ring, Callis duct tapes Kenny to the ropes, and with no Bucks in the arena to save, Don Callis is able to give Kenny an unprotected chairshot to the head to knock him out. Usually they’re way more efficient with these attacks, but this seemed like it went on forever.

Meanwhile, MJF talks with Renee about his issues, but Max Caster sneaks in and we finally get a TV payoff of their long-running Twitter flirt-mance. Max isn’t into it. Also Adam Cole isn’t answering his phone at the moment due to being busy with Roderick.

Skye Blue v. Timeless Toni Storm

Toni is now in more old-timey gear, and she introduces herself to Skye before turning on her with a lariat and putting the boots to her. Skye fights back, but puts her on the floor with a hip attack as we take a break. Back with Skye making a comeback with an enzuigiri, and a flying bodypress gets two. Toni powerbombs her for two. Skye rolls her up for two and superkicks her for two, but Toni comes back with a german suplex and we get a dramatic closeup before Storm finishes with Storm Zero at 7:00. Hopefully she keeps going bigger with this act because it’s hilarious. Match was OK. **

Meanwhile, Stokely Hathaway announces that Rampage features a four-way #1 contender match for the ROH World title. There’s no part of that announcement that interests me in the least.

Main Event Interview: Adam Copeland joins Tony for his State of the Union address. He’s excited to be here and runs down the dream matches he’d like to see himself in, and relates the story of his daughter telling him to “go and have fun with Uncle Jay” in AEW. So he calls out Christian, and berates him for daring to try smash Sting’s head in with a chair. But more importantly, it’s time for Cope and Cage to team up again end their careers together as a team. So Christian embraces him…and says “No” before walking off and introducing Luchasaurus to end the show.

For an anniversary special, this was sure a talk-heavy episode, much like last week. I guess they’re loading up for Title Tuesday next week but there really wasn’t much to this one at all.