The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 09.09.23
Live from Cleveland, OH
Your hosts are Kevin Kelly & Nigel McGuinness
AEW International title: Jon Moxley v. Action Andretti
Moxley sends him out of the ring with a chop to start as the Ohio crowd is obviously pro-BCC tonight. Back in the ring for more chops and Mox sends him to the floor again with a big boot, but Andretti fights back with a handspring on the apron and a tope. But then Mox wallops him into oatmeal with headbutts. Back in the ring, Action makes a comeback with a spinning bodypress, sending Moxley to the floor, and Andretti follows with a moonsault to the floor where he was so off target that poor Mox had to move into position in mid-move to save him from falling on his head. Andretti sends him into the stairs and that gets two. Slam gets two. Low dropkick gets two. Andretti dropkicks the knee to stay on the leg after a half-crab, and he clotheslines Mox to the floor, but misses a dive. So Moxley hits him with one of his own, but hurts his knee worse in the process. Back in, Andretti tries for a springboard bodypress, but Moxley catches him with a cutter in mid-air and that gets two. Moxley with the sleeper, but Andretti fights out and puts him down with a dropkick. He misses the shooting star, but hits a seated clothesline and falcon arrow for two. Andretti goes up and Mox cuts off and tries a superplex, but Andretti lands on his feet and hits an enzuigiri. They trade shotgun dropkicks, and Andretti gets a spinning bodypress for two, once again nearly missing. So now Andretti decides to kick Moxley’s head in and the crowd doesn’t appreciate that, but Moxley grabs him and chokes him out at 11:09. Action missed some stuff and it was kind of a style clash to start but they worked it out by the end and had a good match. ***1/4.
Meanwhile, Roderick Strong still holds no ill will towards Adam Cole, apparently.
TBS title: Kris Statlander v. Robyn Renegade
Kris takes her down and works the arm to start and follows with a dropkick and german suplex in the corner. But then she gets distracted by the outside twin and Robyn pounds her down for two. Robyn with a chinlock, but Kris makes the comeback with clotheslines and a running knee in the corner. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. Robyn with the distraction rollup for two and a faceplant for two. Robyn misses a boot in the corner and Kris hits her with an electric chair and rolls her up with a cradle for the pin at 4:30. *1/2 The Renegades move in for the beatdown afterwards, but Jade Cargill returns from the dead and makes the save, before turning on Statlander and laying her out with Jaded. That will hopefully be the spark that Statlander’s title reign has badly needed.
Meanwhile, Saraya and Ruby are pretty sure that Toni Storm has lost her mind and needs to have some sense smacked into her. Saraya: “Renee, may I just say you’re much better looking than Lexi? She’s such a pot-stirrer.” And then Renee nods in agreement!
Tony Schiavone sits down with Eddie Kingston & Claudio, as Eddie complains about Claudio leaving the indies and “not doing business before going to the land of make-believe”. Claudio is pretty sure that Eddie’s parents are more proud of him than Eddie, so they make a title v. title match for Grand Slam, and Claudio demands a handshake of respect when he wins. This was COLD from Claudio.
ROCK HARD JUICE ROBINSON & The Gunns (w/ Cardblade) v. Gravity & Aerostar & Dios Del Inframundo
Juice awards him the Collision Cowboy of the Month award, which I think is well earned. Austin hits Gravity with a flipping neckbreaker, and Colten comes in and beats on the various luchadors. So now Aerostar is obvious, but is Inframundo Drago under a new name? Because he was awesome in Lucha Underground and would probably get over. Juice gets trapped in the lucha corner and double-teamed by masked guys, but the Gunns take out Gravity from behind and Juice goes to work on him. Colten with a snap suplex for two. Juice slugs away and gets a tilt a whirl slam for two. Juice with a chinlock (“I HATE LUCHA LIBRE! DON’T YOU HATE LUCHA LIBRE?”) but it’s hot tag Aerostar and he dropkicks everyone. Rolling cutter on Austin gets two. Gunns cut off Aerostar and hit Gravity with the 310 to Yuma, and then Juice finishes Inframundo at 7:47. Total squash for Bullet Gold, but it was a complete waste of the luchadors as they just sold for the entire match and the Gunns didn’t really give them a good base to fly off of. **
Meanwhile, Miro’s hot flexible wife complains that he’s forsaken her, so now she’ll have to go her own way and find someone new to manage.
Meanwhile, the Dark Order would appreciate our support.
Meanwhile, the Acclaimed announce that they’re been champions for 13 days and unveil their new World tour as champions.
Rey Fenix v. Angelico
Fenix dropkicks him to the floor and follows with a dive, and then somehow manages to ignore Serpentico’s interference and hits Angelico with a diving kick off the apron. Back in the ring, Angelico wraps him up in an armbar and takes him down with a tilt a whirl backbreaker to take over. Angelico works on the arm with some wacky submission holds, but Fenix takes him down for a double stomp to the gut. To the top for a frog splash that gets two. Angelico takes him down and ties him up with a cradle for two, but Fenix DDTs him for two and follows with the sitout piledriver to finish at 5:00. Angelico continues to be criminally wasted and this was a fun match building up Fenix to challenge Moxley. **1/2. With all the Lucha Underground content do I dare to hope for Dario Cueto to debut next?
Meanwhile, FTR announces a new challenge series to find them a challenger. Smells like a TOURNAMENT.
Grand Slam tournament semi-final: Roderick Strong v. Darby Allin
Sadly, Darby’s skateboarding entrance is interrupted by an attack from Luchasaurus, and Christian promises that Darby will never be a champion again as long as he’s in AEW. Man, and he just signed a new long term contract, too. Sucks to be Darby Allin. But then Darby decides to come out anyway, with Nick Wayne in tow pumping him up, and that seems ill-advised. So Strong attacks and goes after the injured back, but Darby fights back with a sunset flip for two. He sends Strong to the floor and follows with a dive, and the Kingdom is very concerned about Strong’s neck. Pretty low from Darby to go after a man’s injured neck, not gonna lie. Back in the ring, Strong puts the boots to him and follows with a backbreaker. Strong chops him down and hits another backbreaker before following with a lungblower for two. They fight to the floor and Darby runs him into the post, but Strong slams him into the post and then tosses him into the railing to wreck his back even more. He’s really quite heroic for doing all this with an injured neck, too! Back in the ring, Darby grabs him in a guillotine on the ropes, but Roderick hits him in the ribs. Darby with a Code Red for two and he tries for the neck submission he used on Wayne, but Strong reverses to an STF and Darby has to make the ropes. They fight to the top and Darby sends him down and tries to finish, but Strong crotches him. He slams Darby with a uranage onto the top turnbuckle, sending Darby to the floor like a crash test dummy. That’s gotta hurt. Back in the ring, as Strong hauls him in and gets two. Roderick with the Stronghold, but Darby makes the ropes, so Strong stomps the back again and beats on him with chops. Darby fights back with a coffin splash and runs Strong into the corner to go after his neck like a coward, but Strong fights him off with a double knee to the back. They fight to the apron and Darby hits him with a stunner on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and hits Strong with a coffin splash to the floor. This brings out AR Fox to argue with Nick Wayne about who loves Darby more, as Darby tries a comeback in the ring but walks into the Sick Kick. Darby fights back with a Scorpion deathdrop, however, and both guys are out as Strong valiantly tries to shake off his crippling neck injury. This prompts a brawl with the Kingdom and Darby’s guys outside, but Fox hits Wayne by mistake and Strong finishes with End of Heartache at 14:52 to advance to the finals. This was a gutsy performance for the ages by #NeckStrong, making Cody’s torn pec look like a hangnail by comparison. He’s the hero we need but don’t deserve. ****
Meanwhile, Keith Lee wants to us to know that he is the Collision now.
Bryan Danielson joins Tony, and he’s winding down his career. But if this is the final year, it’ll be the biggest year of his career, and so he’s calling out Zack Sabre Jr for Wrestle Dream in Seattle. But this brings out Ricky Starks, who is pretty sure he has our attention now. So Bryan is like “Hold on, I wasn’t finished!” and he’s ready to offer Starks a spot in the BCC…but then Big Bill attacks him and Starks joins in. Moxley saves, but Bill lays him out as well and this time it’s Ricky doing the choking. Good angle here to keep the heat on Starks after the loss. And apparently this sets up Big Bill getting the shot at Moxley on Dynamite as Mox continues an even more insane schedule than Orange Cassidy. Hmmm.
Meanwhile, Big Bill promises to beat Moxley’s ass in his hometown and win the title. But then the Lucha Bros stop by and protest because Bill doesn’t get to skip the line, but Bill blows them off.
Grand Slam tournament semi-final: Samoa Joe v. Penta
Penta demonstrates his lack of fear, so Joe plows him over and beats on him with a headbutt in the corner. Joe slugs away, but Penta dropkicks him to the floor and follows with a dive. Joe moves out of the way, but Penta hits him with a sling blade out there, and he survives a brawl long enough to find a table. Joe gouges his eyes, however, and slugs away in the ring. Back to the floor as Joe tries to rip off the mask, and back in that gets two. Penta fights back and goes up with a dive that misses, and Joe elbows him down for two. Joe with a surfboard and he pounds on him with an elbow in the corner. Penta fights off the muscle buster and hits a bodypress and backstabber for two. Joe powerslams him out of the corner for two. Penta with an enzuigiri and he superkicks Joe in the corner, which gets two. Penta with a kick to the back for two and he tries for the armbar, but Joe powers out and puts him down with the big boot and senton for two. Joe charges and lands on the floor and Penta follows with a dive, as Joe actually doesn’t evade it for once. Joe moves to the other side of the ring and Penta tries another one, but this time Joe DOES move and Penta puts himself through the table that’s been sitting there for 10 minutes. Whew, I was getting worried we’d never see it broken. Back in, that gets two for Joe. Penta tries the Made in Japan, but Joe reverses him into the choke and Penta taps at 15:00, sending Joe to the finals against Strong. This one didn’t feel like it ever took off like it should have, but it was a good main event. ***1/4.
I enjoyed this show! There’s a bit of a double-edged sword in bringing all the normal Dynamite guys over to fill up the show, in that it makes for a more even talent field, but also makes it seem like another 2 hours of Dynamite in a lot of ways. Regardless, this was a fun and breezy show that flew by, with matches that didn’t overstay their welcome, and a couple of really good main events to cap it off. This was a good start to the new direction, I thought.