The SmarK Rant for WWF All Star Wrestling – 01.23.82
I checked this time and I have not in fact done this episode before.
Taped from Hamburg, PA
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Pat Patterson and Vince sounds like he’s fighting off a cold. Better ask Dr. Zahorian for a prescription.
DISCRETIONARY VIEWER PARTICIPATION IS ADVISED FOR THE FOLLOWING PRO WRESTLING EXHIBITION
Jesse Ventura & Adrian Adonis v. Jeff Craney & Dominic DeNucci
Interesting that Adonis & Ventura are not only teaming here in the WWF, but are actually introduced as “The East-West Connection” like in the AWA. DeNucci takes Adonis down with a headlock and hits him with some slams, and Adrian runs away and tags out to Ventura. So Dominic gets trapped in the heel corner and they choke him out behind the ref’s back, and that brings in Jeff Craney. He immediately gets thrown around by Ventura like a sack of flour, and Adonis hits him with a samoan drop before putting the boots to him in the corner. More choking in the heel corner while the idiot ref is off checking his Instagram feed in the other corner, and then they drop Craney on the top rope for another double-team. They take turns coming off the top rope with shots on Craney and Jesse puts him in the body vice for the submission at 6:07. Vince is just so subdued and non-Vincey due to losing his voice here. It’s kind of weird.
Pedro Morales v. Pete Mitchell
Some guy in the crowd yells “Go back to Burger King, Pedro!” which seems like an oddly specific taunt. Pedro gets a slam as Mitchell doesn’t really seem to have a plan here, so Pedro gives him a headlock and drops him with a kneebreaker. Pete goes back to a headlock, and Pedro hits him with a backbreaker this time. Mitchell rakes the eyes repeatedly in the corner while Vince and Pat have the most inane conversation about Puerto Rican islands to fill time in this horribly boring squash, and Pedro finally finishes this doofus with a Boston Crab at 4:00. I have no idea which wrestling school this geek washed out of but he should ask for a refund.
Greg Valentine joins Pat for a promo, and he’s pretty proud of suplexing Pedro on the concrete three weeks ago. And he also knows that Pedro is a liar for saying that he wasn’t hurt by the move. Pat points out that Pedro has challenged him to a rematch, but Greg is pretty sure that Pedro is packing some kind of foreign object in his kneepad. And then they just ramble on for so long that they cut away to commercial.
Laurent Soucie v. Tony Colon
I had never heard of Soucie before, but Patterson explains that he was a former amateur wrestling champion who is transitioning to pro. Well his career didn’t last long because he only lasted until July of 82 and then left the sport, according to Cagematch. Colon works him over on the ropes, but Soucie takes him down with a spinning toehold, and then takes him down with a jackknife cradle for two. Another spinning toehold, but Colon reverses out and suplexes Soucie. And then Soucie gets his own belly to belly for the pin at 4:08. He had good size but looked like a bargain bin David Von Erich.
Greg Valentine v. Barry Hart
Yup, another appearance for Barry Horowitz early in his career. Barry tries for a headlock but Valentine clobbers him and starts beating on the leg. Greg goes to a standing legbar and then picks Barry up and drops him with a backdrop suplex to set up the figure four at 3:05.
Tony Garea & Rick Martel v. Jose Estrada & Davey O’Hannon
Estrada takes Garea down with a headscissors and hammers on him on the ropes, and then goes to a headlock on the mat. Garea tries to reverse out of that, but Estrada pokes him in the eyes and puts him down again. Over to O’Hannon, who comes in and works on the arm, but the babyfaces double-team him in their corner and go to work on Davey’s arm. Davey grinds on a headlock to take over again. I have to say, there’s some interesting ethnic diversity represented in there. The heels do a pretty impressive job of cutting off the ring and keeping Martel in their corner, but Garea gets a tag and goes after Estrada for a bit before getting cut off. And he misses a blind charge for good measure and Davey comes in with a kneelift and puts the boots to him. Man these jobbers are looking GOOD this week. Estrada in particular is showing some fire. But then Garea rolls him up out of nowhere and gets the pin at 7:11. This was a good match!
Ivan Putski v. Ron Shaw
Shaw tries for a full nelson and gets nowhere with that, and Putski throws him with a hiptoss. Shaw bails to the floor and regroups, but then rakes Putski’s face and retreats again. Pat: “Ivan Putski can eat a raw onion like you and I would eat an apple!” Um, that’s nice? Back in the ring, Shaw gets a thumb to the throat and runs away again, but finally Putski grabs him and beats on him with the Polish Hammer for the pin at 3:38. Obviously this match was taken from Championship Wrestling because Vince suddenly has his voice back and there’s a different ring announcer. I don’t know why they keep doing that.
A decent tag match this week and not much else of note.