The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 01.02.93
Let’s give Memphis a rest for a bit and get back into some WCW.
Taped from Louisville, KY
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Jesse Ventura
LAST WEEK: Barry Windham and Brian Pillman get into a bench-clearing brawl with Steamboat & Douglas ahead of Starrcade 92.
Dangerous Dan Spivey v. Scott Allen
WTF was Dan Spivey doing in WCW in 1993? Hey, that jobber has two of my names! Spivey lays him out with a clothesline and then bowls him over with a shoulderblock before following with a backdrop suplex. DDT finishes at 1:20.
WCW MAGAZINE! WITH ERIC BISCHOFF!
Let’s take a closer look at new tag team Tex Slazenger & Shanghai Pierce before they go on to lose to every team in WCW. Hard hitting journalism here.
So this rip includes the commercials from the time, one of which is for the tribalistic “Genesis v. Super NES” commercials about Sega having “blast processing”. The argument made is that without blast processing you’re just Super Mario Kart. You know, the game that is one of the highest selling video game series in history. That one sure aged well. Also everyone knows that the Turbo Grafx 16 was the one all the cool kids rocked.
Tony Atlas joins Jesse and challenges Van Hammer to face him in a Strongest Arm competition. At first I thought he was challenging Greg Valentine because he said “Hammer” and I was confused.
Dustin Rhodes v. Danny Deese
Jesse notes that cities with higher amounts of “goat roper music” tend to have higher suicide rates. Huge if true. Deese slugs away in the corner as we learn that Dan Spivey is in fact looking for Dustin Rhodes in something I don’t recall in the least. I presume he never found him. Dustin works the arm, but Deese slugs away on the ropes before walking into a dropkick. And the bulldog finishes for Dustin at 1:43. Afterwards, Dustin has words for Barry Windham, but Danny Spivey interrupts and he’s sick of Dustin disrespecting Barry. So he wants a match TONIGHT to settle things. Danny Spivey existing in the same universe as Barry Windham is strange to me.
They should just have a match with tonight’s sponsor, Street Fighter II for Super Nintendo!
2 Cold Scorpio v. Chris Sullivan
Sullivan pounds him down and tosses him to start, perhaps because Scorpio’s dancing is distracting from his awesome skullet. Scorp flips in and drops Siullivan with a suplex, and then slingshots in with a 450 to finish at 1:20. Notable that Sullivan makes sure to roll over into position with perfect timing. That’s a talented enhancement talent.
WCW MAGAZINE! WITH ERIC BISCHOFF!
Let’s talk about Erik Watts, who threw down a challenge to Rick Rude on WCW Saturday Night. Unfortunately he still sucks and Rude gives him a Rude Awakening on the concrete and then pins him with a suplex.
Bounty Match: Erik Watts v. Bobby Eaton
This was supposed to be Arn Anderson avenging the gas station fight, but he’s injured and so Bobby has to take his place. And Arn feels bad about taking out a young kid like Watts, but really he had it coming. Bobby attacks him on the floor and gets laid out by Eric as a result, and then Erik goes after Arn Anderson, the injured man, like a real hero. Into the ring and Watts gets a monkey flip on Bobby to take over and goes for the dreaded STF, but Bobby bails to the floor to escape. So the fight continues on the floor and Watts hiptosses Bobby out there and hits a shoulderblock as Bobby is bumping all over for the Cowboy’s gangly kid but then runs him into the railing and allows Arn to get a cheapshot as well. Back in, Bobby with a neckbreaker and he follows with the Alabama Jam for two. Arn tries to choke him out from the floor, but Erik rams their heads together and hooks Bobby in the STF at 3:39. I mean, Bobby was trying here I guess but they couldn’t do much with 3 minutes. Crazy now we got fellas doing 9:00 squashes on AEW TV with commercial breaks and here they’re like “OK, bounty match time, you’ve got 5 minutes with entrances, and…..go!” *1/2
Dustin Rhodes v. Dangerous Dan Spivey
So Spivey attacks at the bell and runs into an elbow from Dustin, who dropkicks Dan to the floor. They fight out there, but Dan catches him with a boot to the ribs on the way back in. Dustin fights back with a lariat and drops an elbow on his arm in a different move. Not sure if that was deliberate. So Dustin goes to work on that arm, but Spivey yanks him down by the cast and goes to his own armbar. Spivey with a hammerlock slam for two. Dustin fights back with a back suplex and a lariat for two, but Spivey sends him to the floor. Dustin with a sunset flip back in the ring, but Spivey grabs the ropes to block and they collide for a double down. Dustin goes up and Spivey slams him off, but Dustin rolls him into a cradle for the pin at 5:34 in a neat finish. **
WCW Unified tag team titles: Ricky Steamboat & Shane Douglas v. Barry Windham & Brian Pillman
Obviously this was taped a while ago because the team was now Pillman & Austin by the time this show aired. Douglas drops an elbow on Windham as the champs double-team him to start, so Pillman comes in and trades chops with Shane. Steamboat works on Pillman’s arm with a hammerlock slam and Shane comes in for the double elbow, and then Shane powerslams Windham for two. Barry with a flying forearm on Shane to take over and they trap him in the heel corner with some nice tag team stuff, and then Barry tosses him over the top behind the ref’s back. Pillman runs him into the apron to work the back, and Barry gets a suplex for two and then beats on Shane with elbows out of a chinlock. Kneedrop gets two. Pillman beats on Shane in the corner and Barry chokes him out for good measure, so Steamboat tries to save again and the ref has to escort him back while the heels work Douglas over. Pillman with a chinlock while Windham holds his legs for extra leverage. Barry comes in and slugs Shane down for two and follows with the lariat for two. Back to PIllman for chops in the corner and he goes up, but of course lands on Shane’s foot and it’s hot tag Steamboat. Ricky beats on Barry with chops and runs wild with slams before chopping Windham to the floor. But then Windham heads over and casually drops Douglas with the implant DDT on the concrete, and that’s bad for the champs. Back in the ring, the heels double-team Steamboat with a suplex into a Rocket Launcher for two. Windham with a back suplex for two. This brings out Dustin Rhodes, who is in everyone’s business tonight apparently, and he decides to take Shane’s place in the match, which the ref allows for some reason. So Dustin gets the hot tag and runs wild as Steamboat & Rhodes are reunited, and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, as Dustin hits Barry right in the face with his cast and pins him at 11:52. Tremendous stuff. ***1/2
Meanwhile, Van Hammer is ready to arm wrestle Tony Atlas on the syndicated shows.
Brian Pillman & Barry Windham stop by the desk to rant about “getting jobbed” in the main event, and Windham promises to paint Steamboat yellow so everyone knows he’s a COWARD who needs three or four guys to defend their titles. He’s not wrong.
Next week: The Year in Review!
Really enjoyable show as we begin the transition away from Watts and into the Bischoff Era soon. We’ll stick with this for a bit.