The SmarK Rant for WWF UK Rampage 92 – 04.19.92

The SmarK Rant for WWF UK Rampage 92 – 04.19.92

Live from Sheffield, England

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan

So this was a Sky Movies Plus show, branded on Coliseum Video in the US as “European Rampage” but in the UK as “UK Rampage 92”. I think some of the matches appeared on other Coliseum releases but this is the full show. Although man, even the WWE Network version of this show looks like garbage for the first little while before improving as the show goes on. Maybe because they had to convert from PAL?

Tatanka v. Skinner

Tatanka takes him down with a headlock as Bobby once again educates us on Native American history and communication strategies. I feel like if Bobby were around today and Skinner was a current character, he’d have a whole list of Florida Man material to run through. So Tatanka works a headlock for the first 5:00 and gets a rollup for two, so Skinner has to bail to escape this offensive onslaught. Back in the ring, Tatanka switches to the armbar now, but Skinner runs him into the turnbuckles and takes him down for a deathlock. He works the leg, mostly by standing there in a stepover toehold and grabbing the ropes until the ref catches him. So Skinner works the leg from the apron and chokes him out on the ropes before tossing him over the top rope and then suplexex him back in. Skinner goes AERIAL and lands on Tatanka’s foot, which was almost a bump. Hope he didn’t hurt himself. Tatanka comes back with chops and finishes with the Papoose to Go at 11:50. The crowd noise is oddly muted for this too, as you can clearly see the fans reacting but you can barely hear anything in the mix. *

Meanwhile, the Legion of Doom chat with Sean Mooney, although they don’t have Paul Ellering with them.

The Legion of Doom v. Col Mustafa & Dino Bravo

Your first “everyone in the ring and on commentary is dead” match of the show. Also WTF is THAT team about? Bravo, long gone from the WWF at this point otherwise, was back to his natural hair color and original 80s gear. Did he just happen to be in the area? And I didn’t even know Sheiky Baby was still working for them either in 1992. The LOD clears the ring to start and Animal trades shoulderblocks with Bravo before Hawk comes in with a fistdrop. Hawk misses a charge and hits the post, so Bravo drops him on the railing. Back in, Sheik with a gut wrench and he goes to the abdominal stretch, but Hawk quickly escapes. So it’s back to Bravo and a double clothesline with Hawk for a double down. Hot tag Animal and he hits Sheik with a shoulderblock for two. Everyone brawls, Bravo hits the post, and Hawk clotheslines Sheik for the pin at 4:27. Yeah as if Sheik was taking the Doomsday Device in 1992. Well this was certainly a match that existed. We have proof now. On videotape. 1/4*. So checking out the history and it looks like Bravo was working the European tour and doing jobs for Tito Santana, and this was his final match for the WWF. And he had one more match in New England a month later which was his final match, period. Sheiky Babe did a few more house show jobs to Tatanka back in the US and then he was gone as well. So definitely this stands as a historical curiosity.

Meanwhile, Sean Mooney chats with Very Stable Genius, Sid Justice.

Undertaker v. Sid Justice

So Sid had already been suspended for drugs at this point and might have quit as well, but he was finishing out the European tour before leaving and “retiring”. Taker gets a slam to start but misses an elbow, and Sid puts the boots to him and sends him to the floor. Taker necks him on the way back in and follows with the ropewalk and flying clothesline. Tombstone looks to finish, but Harvey breaks it up and Sid makes his comeback with a chokeslam. Sid continues putting the boots to him and we get a weird bump where Sid rams Taker’s head into the mat from a standing position, so it just looks like Taker is falling over facefirst. Taker fights back and they “brawl” on the floor, but Undertaker just kind of wanders around ringside and somehow takes too long getting back in and Sid wins by countout at 5:00?!? What the fuck was that finish? -**. And then Taker gets his heat back by hitting Sid with a tombstone, but Sid just pops up and walks away from it. And then Gorilla screws up and says that “Sid left because he didn’t want any more of the Warrior there”. Do they have trains in England? Because this was a TRAINWRECK. And then five years later they main evented Wrestlemania!

WWF title: Randy Savage v. Shawn Michaels

They fight for a hammerlock to start and Shawn runs into a boot in the corner and pinballs around the ring off that. Back in, Savage tosses him and Shawn skins the cat, but Savage clotheslines him back to the floor and hits him with a double axehandle to the floor. But then Sherri messes with Elizabeth, chasing Liz back to the dressing room as a result, and that allows Shawn to attack Macho and run him into the railing to take over. Sherri sarcastically busting on him while he’s selling is tremendous. Back in the ring, Shawn with a backbreaker for two and slugs him down. Gorilla meanwhile accuses Sherri, without any proof, of shoplifting her outfits from British shops. Shawn slugs away in the corner, but Savage catapults him into the post for two. Man Shawn must have LOVED Curt Hennig. Savage with the necksnap on one side of the ring, and Shawn sells by bumping to the other side of the ring, so Savage hits him with a high knee to the floor and sends him into the post. And Shawn is all over that, taking a flying bump off the post and spinning three times in the air. Back in the ring, Savage with a double axehandle for two. Shawn puts him down with a lariat for two. Superkick gets two. Shawn to the top with a flying fist for Execedrin Headache #35, and he sends Macho to the floor for some abuse from Sherri while some trollop in the front row yells at her. She’s a former Queen, you’d think she’d get some respect in England. Back in the ring, Shawn slugs away for two. Macho fights back and Shawn takes a bump off that, before a collision sends the ref to the floor as well. So Savage necks him on the top rope and goes up for the flying elbow, but Sherri breaks that up anyway and puts the boots to Savage. Finally the ref is dragged in and Macho gets two. He has another discussion with Sherri that ends with him spitting on her, but Elizabeth returns and deals with Sherri, allowing Savage to hit a flying bodypress for two. Sherri interferes again and Liz yanks her down again, but now Savage misses a blind charge and Shawn gets a sunset flip for two. Savage goes up and misses a bodypress, but runs to the other side of the ring, springboards off the ropes with a second bodypress, and that gets the pin at 16:30 to retain. I have literally never seen him do that before, let alone win a match with it, so that’s awesome. Savage was obviously super motivated to be working with Shawn here and you KNOW Shawn wasn’t gonna pass up a chance to show off in his first title match. ****.

Intermission time, which gives us words of wisdom from the Bushwackers, and the Mountie.

The Mountie v. Virgil

Virgil attacks while the ref is taking the shock stick away from Mountie, and runs him into the turnbuckles in the corner. Mountie bails for some moral support from Jimmy Hart, so Virgil hauls him in and disrespectfully tears his uniform off. That’s an OFFICER OF THE LAW. Or at least someone playing one. Mountie hides in the ropes and finally plays “got your nose” with Virgil to take over and Virgil rolls around selling that even though Gorilla literally said the broken nose was fully healed and he was just wearing the brace for extra safety. Mountie with a bulldog and Jimmy thankfully gives him his shirt back so he can properly represent the RCMP again by battering the black guy in the corner for no reason. Actually if it was properly representing them he’d be beating on Tatanka instead. So he stops to cut a promo and remind us of his identity, which allows Virgil to make the comeback. Legsweep gets two. Jimmy trips him up, however, which allows Mountie to grab the cattle prod and shock Virgil for the pin at 8:55. Really really bad. This was NAFF, as the kids say. DUD

Intercontinental title: Bret Hart v. Rick Martel

They fight for the lockup to start and Martel gets a pair of cheapshots to take over right away, but he celebrates too early and Bret chases him out of the ring. Back in, Martel with a facelock as Gorilla continues his show-long ragging on Brain’s frugal nature. Martel misses a charge and hurts his knee, allowing Bret to go to work on that before Martel escapes with another cheapshot. But Bret puts him down with a kneebreaker and tries to wrap the knee around the post, so Martel runs him into his own post and takes over again. Bret had that one coming. To the floor, where Martel runs him into the post again to work on the back this time, but Bret comes back with the middle rope elbow in the ring for two. Martel puts him on the floor again and then blocks a rollup on the way into the ring. Luckily he does not point at his head to indicate intelligence, but Bret pins him with a small package anyway at 13:10 to retain. This was shockingly dull, actually, with very little happening until about 10:00 in. *1/2.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. The Repo Man

Duggan’s pre-match promo with Lord Alfred, where he’s late because he’s taking a shit, is something to behold. Duggan with his usual house show routine to pump up the crowd to start, but Repo chokes him out on the ropes, so Duggan puts him down with clotheslines and chases him out of the ring. Back in, Duggan with an atomic drop to chase him again, but Repo repossesses the turnbuckle pad and runs Duggan into the steel to take over. Repo chokes him out and drops a leg for two before going to the chinlock. Duggan fights back, but misses a charge and hits the exposed turnbuckle again like a moron. Finally he gets smart and runs Repo into it, since the idiot ref isn’t doing anything about it anyway, and comes back with slams and the three point stance. Repo bumps to the floor off that and grabs his hook this time, hitting Duggan for the DQ at 7:10. Really, REPO MAN couldn’t do a clean job here? *

Alleged Main Event: IRS v. The British Bulldog

Well at least they’re putting Bulldog in the main event this time around. Choice of opponent could be better. Bulldog overpowers him to start and we get some stalling from Irwin on the floor before Bulldog chases him out of the ring again with clotheslines. Back in, IRS declines the fight and walks away a third time. Really building the suspense I see. Bulldog works the arm, but IRS hits him with an enzuigiri to take over and tosses Bulldog off that. Back in the ring for the inevitable abdominal stretch and Gorilla dismisses Irwin’s chances of winning with that. Bulldog escapes that devastating submission hold, but IRS hits the Write Off clothesline for two. Chinlock time and Bulldog fights out of that, so IRS puts him down with a knee and tosses him.

MAJOR BREAKING NEWS (insert red siren emoji):

Shawn Michaels has left the building.

Irwin blocks a sunset flip for two and tosses Davey again, and then just sends him back in and tries to suplex him from the apron. And Bulldog obviously reverses that into a delayed suplex, so delayed they should call it the end of the writer’s strike, and that gets two. Bulldog runs him into the turnbuckles and puts him down with headbutts for two. IRS runs him into the corner while Jimmy takes the ref, but Bulldog stops the briefcase from being used and powerslams him for the pin at 12:45. Well this was a match that happened. *1/2

Overall not as much of a slog as the Rampage 91 show I did last week, but still nothing I’d recommend bothering with outside of the Savage-Michaels title match.