The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 03.01.86

The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 03.01.86

I was going to carry on with Pro Wrestling USA today but it seems to have disappeared from the KrisPLettuce archive for some reason. So back to Memphis it is.

(The reason turned out to be that I was looking in the wrong place)

Taped from Memphis, TN

Your hosts are Lance Russell & Dave Brown

Buddy Landel v. Jeff Jamison

Sadly, Buddy is not dressed to wrestle, because he’s looking too good in his suit and won’t soil his gear with sweat against a geek like Jamison. So Buddy wants to talk about how he actually won the NWA World title from Ric Flair, complete with photographic proof of Flair locked in the figure-four, and then another framed photo of himself with the belt. Lance: “I don’t see that belt around your waist, though.” Buddy quickly clarifies that he had to give it back for “political reasons” and declares he’s going home for the day.

Meanwhile, Jerry Jarrett sends in a promo from his home, where he announces he will no longer be an active wrestler after doing a retirement tour for the past year. Turns out he was blinded in one eye from a disease he suffered from, and it meant that he couldn’t live up to his former self. So instead he’s going to focus his efforts on training his son, who is currently finishing up the basketball season, and you may have heard of him before.

Back at the studio, Eddie Marlin thinks that with Jerry stepping into the role of “matchmaker”, they’ll be able to work great together and accomplish lots of stuff.

Meanwhile, Lance promises that all the rafters in Evansville will be shaking because Bill Dundee will be facing DUTCH MANTEL? I’m assuming that something is going to happen later in the show to set that up because they were just friends last week. Buddy clarifies that Lance did something to instigate Dutch’s turn, which I again assume happens later in this show. This is like some Memento shit here.

Meanwhile, JD Costello and his Mod Squad continue threatening the Fantastics. They’ve read all the magazine articles about them, so now they’re fully prepped to take care of them. This was a better promo than the first few, so at least Costello is getting a bit more comfortable in the role.

The Fantastics v. Benny Trailer & Jerry Garmin

Hey, at least the enhancement guys have matching tights and boots. That’s a start, and they enough of “the look” that they can probably turn that into an indie run as a tag team. Rogers gets a rollup on Trailer for two. They work on Trailer’s arm, and Garmin comes in and gets more of the same. Garmin slugs back, but Fulton takes him down and they continue double-teaming the arm as Dave notes Garmin might be seriously considering another line of work. Maybe he’ll invent the GPS? They get into a brawl and it’s BONZO GONZO, but Fulton quickly rolls up Garmin for the pin at 3:31.

Meanwhile, have you bought the Jerry Lawler VHS tape yet? Only $29.95, plus $5.25 postage! Or you can stream it on YouTube.

Meanwhile, more tough guys do promos about the THUNDERDOME matches and talk about the weapons they’re bringing and the asses they’re kicking. And Abdul Gaddafi is fighting for LIBYA. So you know he means business.

Meanwhile, we demonstrate some science with Jos LeDuc, as he challenges 10 men to pull his grip apart with ropes, and they do not succeed. So then we get a video montage of him “not being crazy”, although the evidence seems to suggest that he is in fact quite crazy.

International title: Rick Casey v. Dutch Mantel

From the Mid-South Coliseum, joined in progress at 10:00 with Dutch choking Casey out on the ropes and a clothesline gets two. Dutch drops elbows on him and chokes him out with his shoulder strap. Kneedrop gets two. They collide on a shoulderblock for the double-down, but Dutch goes for an object and Casey catches him and makes the comeback. Dutch rolls him up in the corner, however, and pins him with his feet on the ropes to seemingly regain the title. But the ref asks the crowd for some reason, and they continue the match. So Casey misses a dropkick and the ref is bumped, which brings Buddy out for the sneak attack. He hits Dutch with a clothesline by mistake, however, and Casey gets the pin at 4:08 shown to retain the title.

Back from the break, Lance shows us more footage from the match, as Casey celebrates while Dutch yells at Buddy for costing him the title and Budro pleads innocence. So Bill Dundee tries to make peace between them but that’s not really his strong suit and Dutch is in no mood to reconcile. Finally Buddy and Bill harass him into shaking hands with Buddy and then they celebrate like they got away with something.

Back at the studio, Bill & Budro promise Lance that everything has been resolved and hatchets are buried, but Dutch isn’t there and Buddy calls him “nothing but a tobacco spitting redneck” who has been riding their coattails for the past few months. So then Dutch shows up a few minutes late for the interview because Dundee apparently neglected to call him like he promised, but Bill clarifies that everyone loves Dutch. Lance then starts some serious shit by calling Bill & Budro liars, and he shows everyone the tape of them “reconciling” and Buddy pantomiming shots at Dutch behind his back. So then Lance further offers up all the stuff that they were just saying about Dutch before he got there, like how he’s a redneck who has been carried, and Lance notes that he’s not trying to start anything, he’s just stating facts. I love this man. You do not fuck with Lance Russell because he brings the receipts. Finally Dutch has had enough and he attacks Buddy and Bill, but Dundee clobbers him with his boot and busts him open. This is great stuff, with Buddy smashing Dutch’s head into the side of the desk while Bill yells at Lance about how he caused all this. “I’m not happy about it but we wanted to let everyone know what kind of character you are!” Finally the officials rescue Dutch and haul him off, and now we know why we’ve got that Dundee v. Mantel title match in Evansville this week. Oh man I wish I lived in the Memphis territory in the 80s so I could go to these shows.

Billy Travis v. Dutch Mantel

Since Dutch is injured, Buddy Landel has changed into his gear and generously agrees to step into this match and earn the title match against Rick Casey for the International title.

Billy Travis v. Buddy Landel

Buddy chops him down and puts the boots to him before going to a chinlock, then hangs him in the Tree of Woe and puts the boots to him some more. But then Dutch Mantel jumps in and attacks Buddy for the DQ at 1:20 and it’s another crazy brawl with Bill & Buddy double-teaming him while Dutch fights for his life. This time Travis decides to help Dutch and makes the save until Dutch is able to grab a chair and chase off the heels.

Back at the desk, Dutch notes that he can whoop both of them by himself, but he asks Billy Travis to be his partner for a tag team match against them, and Lance tells him to go find Eddie Marlin and ask him for it.

And we wrap it up as Lance once again points out that he was just telling Dutch the truth about what was going on behind his back and wasn’t trying to start anything.

Oh man this is the crazy soap opera I’ve been waiting for! HOOK IT TO MY VEINS!