The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 07.07.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 07.07.23

“Rampage 100”

Taped from Edmonton, AB. But the show is LIVE on TSN tonight for once, because it passes for Canadian Content

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Excalibur & Chris Jericho

The Young Bucks & Hangman Page v. Alex Reynolds, John Silver & Evil Uno

The Elite clear the ring and hit the Dark Order with dives, and then back in for the rolling northern lights on Reynolds. Nick comes in with a flying splash combined with Matt’s moonsault for two as they triple-team Alex in the corner. Uno hauls Matt to the floor and we get some Dark Order beatings delivered out there, and back in Matt is face in peril. Matt fights off Uno and Reynolds in the corner, but can’t make the tag and we take a break. Back with Matt continuing to fight for the tag and he finally brings in Hangman with the hot hand. Page runs wild and backdrops Reynolds to the floor, and he rolls through a dive from Silver and hits a bodypress on Reynolds for two. Then we get a cute callback as they put Page on the apron and catch him like the old times, but they put him back on the apron for more abuse from Uno instead. So the Bucks do the same to the Dark Order and Nick comes in with a destroyer on Reynolds, setting up a lariat from Page and flying elbow from Matt that gets two. Dark Order with the double-team series on Matt, but he breaks it up himself and the Bucks hit the Meltzer Driver on Reynolds for two. Uno saves and boots Matt in the head for good measure, and then gives one to Hangman as well. But Page comes back with a lariat and everyone trades big moves to set up the SUPERKICK PARTY on Uno, but the Dark Order prevents the buckshot lariat. And then Uno hides behind the ref, allowing Takeshita to run in, and Uno goes TO THE BALLS before Claudio comes in and waffles Hangman, putting Uno on top for the pin at 12:52. Hey, the Dark Order actually gets their win back, good for them! Say it with me, this was the party match. ***1/2

QTV time, and they don’t like the Acclaimed. Johnny TV spinkicking a phone into the garbage can is pretty impressive, you have to give him that.

Blind eliminator tag team tournament: Matt Hardy & Jeff Jarrett v. Daniel Garcia & Sammy Guevara

If Matt & Jeff don’t win, this tournament will lose whatever credibility it had left. I’m also very excited to see who can do the least between them here. We get a dance off between Matt and Garcia to start, which is easily won by Daniel if we’re being honest with ourselves, and Garcia works a headlock before getting some shots in the corner. Matt catapults Garcia under the ropes and it’s over to Jarrett, as the ratings shoot up 100,000 viewers. He gets a hiptoss on Sammy and stops to strut in celebration. But then Sammy dropkicks him and does his own strutting. You wish, Sammy. He dives and takes out Jay Lethal, likely on PURPOSE, and we take a break. Back with Matt beating on Garcia in the corner before yanking him out with a powerbomb for two. Splash Mountain gets two. Sammy comes in and Matt takes him out as well, but Sonjay takes the ref and Lethal generously gives Matt the guitar, which he stupidly refuses. So Sammy hits the GTH and Garcia pins him at 8:20. That was some unacceptable disrespect to Jeff Jarrett shown by Matt Hardy, and they quite rightly give him the beating he deserves. Brother Zay tries to save and Satnam just gets an annoyed look on his face and chokeslams him, but then Ethan Page makes the save for real and apparently he’s turned babyface for good now. As long as he doesn’t mess with Jeff Jarrett, he’s OK with me. **

This week on Collision, it’s Punk v. Joe. IN REGINA. Have they been to Regina? They don’t deserve that match, I’ll tell you that. The football team got beat by a ROUGE this week. Let me tell you, if you knew anything about Canadian football, you’d be shaking your head in disbelief at that one right now. Hopefully no one drinks the water there or it’ll be like that WWE trip to India where they all came back with elevated liver enzymes.

Hikaru Shida v. Marina Shafir

They slug it out in the corner and Shida puts her down with a dropkick, but Shafir gets a judo takedown and slams her out of a fireman’s carry for two. They exchange kicks and Shida beats her down with elbows and follows with a knee strike, and that gets two. Falcon Arrow gets two. Katana Kick finishes at 3:30. Basically a squash for Shida. *1/2.

Meanwhile, Kris Statlander vows to continue defending the TBS title because apparently Kris Stat is where it’s at. Huge if true.

Blind eliminator tag team tournament: Big Bill & Brian Cage v. Trent Beretta & Matt Sydal

Whatever happened to Matt’s brother? They were a pretty good team for a while and then the other guy just disappeared. Sydal tries a headscissors on Cage and gets stuffed, but he turns it into a rollup for two. Trent comes in and gets double-teamed and taken out on the floor, and we take a break. Back with Sydal running wild , and he reverses the Drill Claw into a rana for two in a beauty of a spot. They double-team Bill on the ropes and Sydal hits a double-stomp off the top, but Cage takes him both out with a lariat. Back to the floor and Cage tosses Sydal into the crowd to get rid of him, but Trent spears Cage and Sydal pops out of the crowd with the double knees off the railing. Back in, the babyfaces try stereo dives, but the heels catch them and hit stereo slams for two. Sydal keeps fighting with double kicks, but the heels collide and Sydal dodges Cage’s lariat with a matrix bridge. He goes up for the flying knees, but Cage catches him and slams him into the turnbuckles before taking him to the top. Trent cuts him off with a superplex, then a piledriver, and Sydal hits a flyijng meteora for two. But then Big Bill comes back again and destroys them with his own lariats, chokeslams Sydal, and Cage powerbombs him into a Bill lariat to finish at 12:03. Holy shit this turned into a great match. They ended up having some freaky good chemistry together with the David v. Goliath dynamic. ****

Yeah baby! This was a hell of a show, and I have to say that since we don’t get the PIP segments in Canada, it made the show FLY, much more so than the full version on Fite that sometimes drags a bit when the show is in a break on TNT. Still disappointed that Jeff Jarrett got screwed over again, though. That guy just can’t catch a break.

See you in SASKATOON on Wednesday! Well you won’t see me, I’m on the hard cam side, but you’ll see me in spirit. I’ll be the one cheering the loudest for Jeff Jarrett.