Memphis Wrestling
Rants

The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 02.01.86

By Scott Keith on 27th June 2023

The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 02.01.86

Time for a palette cleanser after a weekend of AEW.

Taped from Memphis, TN

Your hosts are Lance Russell & Dave Brown

The Fantastics v. Tony Falk & Keith Eric

Tony Falk means business now, and he’s been studying the Fantastics and he’s going to break this losing streak OR ELSE. So Lance casually puts up Falk’s record on the screen, which currently sits at 0 wins and 37 losses to date, and Falk freaks out about it. “It’s just a matter of record” Lance calmly notes. I don’t even know if they’re building to something but it really feels like there’s going to be a hilarious payoff to this quest for a win and I’m there for it. Falk is immediately too worked up and he gets dominated by the Fantastics with armdrags and a dropkick from Rogers. So apparently the Fantastics are now the Southern tag team champions, having won the tournament at the Mid-South Coliseum (and in several other towns later in the week…) to claim the vacant belts. Over to Eric and Fulton controls him with headlocks. Over to Rogers and he works the arm, but Falk has calmed down enough to try it again. But he gets dropkicked out of the ring by Fulton and he immediately decides to bail to the floor and let his partner handle things. No tag, which the announcers find amusing. Back to Falk, and he immediately misses a blind charge in his excitement, and Fulton cradles him for the pin at 6:29. And Lance immediately updates the score and posts the new 0 wins and 38 loss record on the screen to commemorate his latest loss.

Meanwhile, we learn that Austin Idol is back in town and challenging Bill Dundee for the Southern title around the horn this week. Also, in a match that gets glossed over too fast for my liking, the Fantastics defend the Southern tag team titles against the BLADE RUNNERS. Oh man I must see that one now.

Meanwhile, at the Mid-South Coliseum, the Sheepherders face Koko Ware & Rick Casey, and it quickly turns into a donnybrook when Bill & Budro run in and brutalize the babyfaces. Also Dirty Rhodes gets involved and the heels bust him open and they have a wild brawl until the Fantastics even things up and make the save.

Rick Casey & Dirty Rhodes v. The Invaders

Casey quickly pins a masked geek with the bulldog at 2:29 while the announcers ponder if the masked men have been featured on TV before and if they won or lost their match.

Lance and Dave discuss how Bill Dundee not only won the Loser Leaves Town match with Lawler, but also got an injunction preventing Jerry from SELLING HIS VIDEOCASSETTE (only $29.95 with Mastercharge!) and you know that wasn’t going to stand with Lawler. So we cut to a “courthouse” in New York, where lawyers representing the video distribution company have triumphed in court at great cost, and videos will be shipping out soon. And then lawyers for Dundee storm out in a huff and cut a promo on behalf of Bill, stating that from a legal standpoint, Bill Dundee is the new King of Memphis, and they’ll be appealing the decision. Awesome.

And wouldn’t you know, now they can start selling the tape again, so let’s take a look at the ad for the videotape, which you can get for only $29.95 plus $5.95 postage! Lance is just amazed at the technology of VCRs, where you can do stuff like slow motion and freeze frame. Sounds like DEVIL TECHNOLOGY to me.

Meanwhile, we hear more about the upcoming Evansville card.

Let Us Take You Back to the time that Koko Ware put his Mid-America title on the line against Bill Dundee in exchange for Bill’s shot at Ric Flair, leading to Koko getting a big upset win and then going on to a title shot with Flair in the Coliseum. And Bill Dundee interferes to get revenge, throwing powder in Koko’s face and allowing Flair to get the cheap win to retain. The next week, Koko attacks Dundee on TV. This leads to a segment at Christmas where Bill Dundee offers to share a “bag of gold coins” with all the rednecks in the audience, but it’s just pennies and he throws them at the crowd until Koko steps in, and Dundee lays him out with the bag. And then a couple of weeks back, Buddy Landell screws Koko out of the Mid-America title with help from Dundee, bringing us up to the present.

Koko Ware v. The Masked Patriot

I don’t think this Patriot is any relation to Del Wilkes. Also if he’s such a patriot, why does he need to wear a mask? Very concerning. Koko is pissed off this week and lays out this geek and then drops him with the brainbuster to finish at 1:00.

Meanwhile, we learn that Bill Dundee is indeed Bad To the Bone, in music video form.

Buddy Landell stops by the desk and relates a story about picking up a broad in Memphis the other day while cruising in his Mark 7, and discovering that she was a magician! It seems that she rubbed his leg and he turned into a motel.

…

Huge if true.

Buddy Landel & Dutch Mantel v. Tracy Smothers & Billy Travis

This is my nightmare team because no one can ever decide if their names are spelled with one “L” at the end or two. The babyfaces trade headlocks on Dutch in their corner, and Buddy comes in and complains immediately about having his tights pulled and whatever else comes to mind. Dutch boots Travis down and cheats egregriously to take over, yanking the hair and pulling the tights while working an armbar. The ref actually catches him, so Buddy comes in and they double-team Travis , with Buddy hitting him from the apron with a cheapshot and Dutch getting the pin at 3:56. But it’s an expiration of time match so they keep going after a word from Evansville.

Meanwhile, holy crap Dirty Rhodes seriously does the worst impression of Dusty Rhodes you’ll ever hear. HOW HARD IS IT TO DO A DUSTY IMPRESSION? Apparently more than Roger Smith can handle. And then we cut to Austin Idol doing an unhinged promo on Bill Dundee, because he lost his half of the Southern tag team titles when Lawler left the territory, and THAT COST HIM MONEY, JACK.

Back with the second fall of our tag team match, as Travis gets a bodypress for two and Buddy quips “I’d like to see you do that again!” So Buddy comes in himself, but Tracy tags in and goes after Buddy’s arm. Dutch comes in and Tracy gets a sunset flip for two, so Dutch pulls his hair a bunch and gets caught by the ref again. Buddy controls with a chinlock on the mat, but Dutch misses a dropkick and Travis comes in and makes a comeback on Dutch before missing a kneedrop. Back to Buddy and he does some strutting to annoy the babyfaces before going to work on Travis’s knee with a spinning toehold. Dutch drops an elbow for two and beats on Travis in the corner, but Billy fights back on Buddy and gets a small package on Dutch for two. Tracy gets a hot tag with a minute left in the show and it’s a DONNYBROOK, but Buddy drops the corkscrew elbow on Smothers and finishes him with the figure-four in the chaos at 7:22. Not sure where this version of Buddy was in Crockett two months before this, but Memphis Buddy is delightful.

And with that, we wrap it up for another week. Chicken soup for the wrestling fan’s soul.