The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 06.02.23
I really like this idea for the show, since they can’t make it work as a continuation of Dynamite, instead change it into a batshit crazy series of title defenses from their deep cuts. I hope it does well.
Taped from San Diego, CA, which I believe translates to “A whale’s vagina”.
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Excalibur & Tony Schiavone
AAA Mega Championship: Vikingo v. Kommander v. Dralistico
Dralistico tosses both guys after an acrobatic stalemate, and hits them with a dive and then puts the boots to Kommander in the ring before getting offended by the crowd’s rude Spanish taunts and taking a walk. Back to the ring and he continues beating on Kommander with a crazy double stomp on the apron, but Vikingo hits him with a springboard moonsault of his own. Back in the ring, Vikingo with the imposion rana on Dralistico and the outside-in Phoenix splash for two. Vikingo and Kommander double-team Dralistico in the corner, but Kommander gets dumped to the floor and Vikingo slugs it out with Dralistico before hitting a corkscrew kick for two. Dralistico comes back with a springboard into a lungblower on Vikingo for two. This prompts Jose the Assistant to prep a table at ringside, as Dralistico runs Kommander into the railing outside and then boots him in the corner back in the ring. Kommander comes back with a double springboard into a rana, which doesn’t quite land, but he keeps coming with armdrags on Vikingo and puts both guys on the floor for a ropewalk moonsault out there. Good recovery there. Back in the ring, Kommander tries another ropewalk with a 450 splash on Dralistico for two, but Vikingo saves with a double stomp. Vikingo with his own springboard into a rana, which puts Kommander on the table outside. And then Vikingo puts him through the table with a 630 senton and hurts himself in the process. Back in the ring, Dralistico tries to capitalize with a powerbomb, but Vikingo rolls him up for the pin at 10:10 to retain. Dralistico has the look of a STAR, even though his name is terrible, and this was a nutty and awesome opener that showcased all three guys in different ways. ****
Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett and his gang of idiots all think that Aubrey Edwards should be suspended for her actions. But Mark Briscoe interrupts and he’s had enough of Jeff Jarrett, which leads to Aubrey coming in and attacking Karen for a pullapart brawl. Man, if they book the Jarretts v. Mark & Aubrey you can sell the last 15,000 seats in Wembley and maybe build another little arena beside it to handle the overflow.
NJPW World TV title: Zack Sabre Jr v. Action Andretti
Oh that belt is a lot of a lot. Zack takes Action down with some slick wristlocks and then maintains control, even hanging on through a monkey flip for some SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION. Action fights back with chops and springboards into his own wristlock and follows with a dropkick into a twisting splash for two. He sends Zack to the floor with a rana and follows with a tope suicida, but Zack catches him in a hanging armbar In the ropes on the way back in. Zack works the arm and twists on that in nasty ways for a totally different type of highspot. Oh man we HAVE to see this guy against Bryan Danielson now. Zack continues twisting on the arm and then takes Andretti down for another armbar, but Andretti makes the ropes. So Zack jumps into a hammerlock and makes Andretti carry his weight, so Action suplexes out of it to escape. Andretti with a springboard enzuigiri for two. He goes for a slam, but Zack takes out the arm again and stomps on the injured arm. Andretti blocks him and they head to the top, but Zack goes after the arm again to block. So Action hits him with an enzuigiri and pops up with a rana off the top for two instead. Andretti sets up a torture rack, but Zack puts him in a choke to escape, so Andretti cradles for two. He keeps coming with a superkick and poison rana, then a shotgun dropkick to the corner and moonsault for two. Another springboard is countered with a Fujiwara armbar and Zack just wraps him up with all kinds of crazy shit and twists his limbs off until he taps at 10:22. This was a crazy clash of styles with ZSJ just calmly taking all of Andretti’s high flying stuff and winning with his own mat wrestling. Another fantastic match. ****
NJPW Strong Women’s title: Willow Nightingale v. Emi Sakura
Emi charges in with shoulderblocks to start, so Willow fires back and wins that battle. Snap suplex and Willow beats on her with chops in the corner and tries to suplex her from the apron, but Sakura puts her on the floor with a crossbody and follows with another one into the railing. Back in the ring, Emi gets her own chops, but Willow fires back, so Emi pokes her in the eye to cut her off again. Emi tries for the backbreaker and Willow fights out as Fite takes a break. Back with Willow making the comeback with the corner splash and a missile dropkick for two. Emi with a twisting neckbreaker and she follows with a Vader bomb in the corner for two. Willow with her own crossbody for two. Emi rolls her up for two, but Willow trips her up and they have a clothesline battle until they both go down. Emi is up first with a Pedigree and she beats on Willow in the corner, but Willow POUNCES her and follows with the cannonball in the corner for two. Willow with the powerbomb, but Sakura fights out of that , so Willow puts her down with a lariat and finishes with the Doctorbomb with MUSTARD on it at 10:02. Third banger in a row tonight with a HOSS FIGHT. ***1/2. And Willow WINS on TV for once!
ROH Pure title: Katsuyori Shibata v. Lee Moriarty
I’m still kind of gobsmacked that we’re just like “Oh yeah, Shibata on a Rampage main event, this is a thing that’s happening.” Shibata takes him down and goes for the armbreaker early, and Moriarty goes to the ropes immediately to break. Moriarty fights back with kicks in the corner and dropkicks the knee before going to work on it. He wraps Shibata up in a leglock on the mat, but Shibata reverses him and takes him down for a figure-four, which Moriarty is unable to block. And Shibata does this amazing touch where he holds a heel hook on Moriarty’s straight leg behind his back while still doing the figure-four. And Moriarty has to use his second rope break to escape that. So Shibata beats on him in the corner with forearms, but Moriarty fires back with a knee in the corner and northern lights suplex for two. They fight for a suplex and Shibata puts him down with a knee to the gut and follows with a running boot in the corner. Shotgun dropkick follows and he takes Moriarty down with a snap suplex for two. Moriarty accidentally uses his final rope break while blocking a german suplex, but he gets the Border City Stretch as a result. Shibata reverses him for two and goes to a sleeper, then hits the PK to finish at 9:10. Shibata is great but these Pure title rules matches are overly complicated merely for the sake of it and stuff like the rope break counts never seem to factor into it. More Shibata on my TV is only ever a good thing, though. ***1/4. And Daniel Garcia comes out to stare down the champion and end the show.
THIS is what I want out of Rampage. Give a bunch of people who need the TV time some reps and introduce the audience to new stuff. Highly recommended this week! What a fun hour of wrestling this was.