The SmarK Rant for New Catch – Episode 1
Apparently delighted by my pain in watching AWF recently, KrisPLettuce told me that I should review these shows as well, apparently a French promotion from the early 90s. OK then.
Taped from Clamart, France, in Hunebell Hall.
Hosted by Daniel Petraut, and brought to you by MAXI CUISINE.
Also these shows are of course en francais but I am reasonably fluent enough in the language to get by and follow what’s going on. Also they’re really short at least.
Fit Finlay v. Jimmy Kung Fu
Judging by the state of Fit’s hair, we are VERY early in the 90s. I think all the way back to 1990ish. Jimmy Kung Fu is an amazing gimmick name, and he’s wearing a gi, like you’d expect from someone named after a martial art. Fit works a headlock, and Jimmy Kung Fu rolls out of it and uses KUNG FU, which I assume he knows because it’s in his name, kicking Fit down to break free. Fit goes for another headlock, but it’s more KUNG FU and that gets two. And I’m a poet and I don’t know it! Actually I’m well aware of my poetic language. Jimmy Kung Fu chases Fit to the floor with more Kung Fu, as we’re watching an early preview of what would become the UFC standard: Wrestling mixed with other martial arts. Also the referee looks like Nick Bockwinkel moonlighting as a blackjack dealer, so there’s that. Kung Fu with an enzuigiri out of the corner and he wraps up Fit with a Gedo clutch for two, but Fit uses the Irish martial arts and hits him with cheapshots before missing a kneedrop. So Jimmy Kung Fu charges and misses with his Kung Fu kick, but he backdrops Fit out of the corner and they manage to break the top rope because why not? So Jimmy Kung Fu goes to the top and I’m shocked the ring doesn’t break, but he falls on his face and Finlay pins him at 6:00. Would have been better but we didn’t see Jimmy using the KUNG FU GRIP as a finisher. Otherwise 10/10, no notes.
Dick “The Butcher” Murdock v. Prince Zefy
Zefy is some kind of African prince, which we know because he dresses like Saba Simba and has “ZEFY” on his ass, like all royalty does. Murdock is definitely not the Texas based legend of the same name, looking more like Uncle Elmer. Zefy bounces off him and he gets some slams, but Zefy makes a comeback with an armdrag and clothesline that shockingly makes Murdock leave his feet. Zefy with a double stomp and he fires away with forearms and a bodypress for one. Zefy with a snapmare, but Murdock has had enough of selling and just slams him again before choking him out on the mat. Murdock throws what can charitably be called forearm shots and chokes him out further, just not interested in doing ANYTHING. Another slam and he goes to a hammerlock this time, but Zefy manages to make a comeback and get him off his feet with headbutts. Zefy to the top with a missile dropkick and he runs into Murdock on the ropes, but misses a charge and lands on the floor and they brawl out there. Murdock, still blown up from taking a snapmare 7 minutes previous, slowly stumbles around throwing forearms and then runs Zefy into the post for the countout win at 10:00. But this act of heel violence will not stand, as local hero FLESH GORDON runs down and threatens Murdock with retribution, which I assume sets up our main event for episode 2. And yes that’s not a typo, his name was Flesh Gordon. So this was like a Koko B. Ware v. Big Bossman match from 1988, but if it was the Bossman from today who’s been dead for a decade and Koko wasn’t really that good. Other than that, 10/10, no notes.
Well this was something. Should we continue on and discover if Flesh Gordon can avenge Prince Zefy against Dick Murdock? I throw it out to the blog.