The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground S01E33 – “Death v. The Dragon”

The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground – S01E33

“Death v. The Dragon”

Taped from the Aztec Temple

Your hosts are Matt Striker & Vampiro

Previously: Drago returns and gets a come from behind win to escape banishment and earn a title shot at Prince Puma, but Mil Muertes threatens our poor innocent purveyor of violence, Dario Cueto, and gets his own shot at Drago.

Sexy Star v. Super Fly

But first, Vampiro sits down with Super Fly, who is still salty about Sexy Star beating him and getting his mask a few weeks ago. Last time, Vampiro saved Sexy Star from an injury at the hands of Penta, but if tries to save her tonight, he’ll regret it. So they trade chops to start and Super Fly puts the boots to her. Vampiro’s advice to him: “Yeah, Dario gave the order to Sexy Star to unmask you, so stop being a bitch and get on with your life.” Sage words. Sexy tries a comeback and Super Fly cuts her off and chokes away in the corner for two. He kicks her down again, but Star comes back with a dropkick to the knee and La Majastral for two. Super Fly slugs her down again for two as the crowd seems really uncomfortable with the heel getting heat on the woman this way, and it’s not like the match is any good anyway. Sexy backdrops him to the floor and follows with a dive to the floor, as Super Fly can barely catch her because she undershoots so badly. Back in, she gets a bodypress and then goes up again and botches some kind of missile dropkick and a legdrop gets two. Woof this is bad. Sexy with a suplex for two, but Fly powerbombs her to finish at 6:35. I hated this one a lot. DUD. Afterwards he does a further beatdown and tries to take her mask in revenge, but she escapes.

Pentagon joins us for the five-way Aztec Medallion match, but first he chases off Melissa and then does a promo about how his Master wants him to go after a bigger prize…starting by going through Vampiro. So he calls Vamp into the ring and Vampiro is game for a fight, but Penta decides to leave it alone for now. And Vamp is pretty shaken up by this for some reason.

Aztec Medallion match: Aerostar v. Marty the Moth v. Brian Cage v. Willie Mack

So with Penta exiting, we’re down to a four-way match. Cage and Mack throw down to start and Cage hits him with a german suplex, but Mack pops up and clotheslines him to the floor for a brawl out there. Aerostar chokes out the Moth in the corner, but Marty fights him off and flies over the top onto Cage and Mack, like moths do, and then Aerostar dives on the other three as well. Back in the ring, Aerostar dives onto Cage and gets caught, and Cage tosses him over the top and onto the other guys again. Suplex from the apron gets two on the Moth. Mack comes back and puts Cage down with a sling blade, but Aerostar hits Mack with a missile dropkick for two while Vampiro is off somewhere else and apologizes for being so messed up by the Penta thing. Mack with a standing moonsault for two, but the Moth saves and Vamp doesn’t even know what to do with this guy. Marty with a knee on Mack for two while Cage beats on Aerostar outside. Marty with a flying armdrag and shotgun dropkick in the corner while Vamp notes “well he’s missing a gene and should be wearing a helmet…you know, in case he falls down.” Oof. Cage hits Mack with a lariat for two and Shellshock for two. Aerostar comes back on him with dropkicks, but Cage won’t go down and then takes him out with a clothesline. Mack pulls him out and Cage runs him into the ringpost, but Mack gives him an exploder on the ring apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. And then he follows with a frog splash onto the floor. Marty the Moth threatens to fly again, but Aerostar walks the ropes into a rana and springboard splash to finish at 9:10 to win the third medallion. This was all over the place but still a lot of fun. ***.

Meanwhile, Catrina interrupts the sparring session for Son of Havoc and Angelico, and unleashes the Disciples of Death on them, which of course doesn’t go well for the babyfaces.

Drago v. Mil Muertes

Hernandez stops by before the match starts, laying out Drago with his belt and then whipping him into unconsciousness as we take a break. Back with Drago recovering enough to start, as Mil beats on him in the corner until Drago fights out with a sliced bread. Mil flattens him with a iariat and puts the boots to him before beating on him with clotheslines in the corner. Drago comes back with a headscissors into the corner, but Mil spears him and the crowd chants “Get the coffin” in a nice show of wit. DDT gets two. Mil beats on him with chops, but Drago tosses him and follows with a dive to the floor. Mil shakes that off and tosses him into the railing like a sack of garbage before beating on him with chairs. Drago fights up from the wreckage of the front row, so Mil spears him into the railing to further destroy him, and sends him back into the ring. Drago bails to the floor, so Mil powerbombs him on the announce table in a painful looking spot. Back in the ring, Drago manages a comeback with a flying DDT and both guys are down, but Drago recovers first and rolls him into his cradle…which Mil casually rolls out of. Muertes beats him down and puts him down with a flatliner to finish at 8:57. So Mil earns the title shot at Ultimo Lucha and Catrina gives Drago the Lick of Death to make it official. This was a pretty awesome destruction by Muertes. ****. And Prince Puma comes out to stare him down as we end this one.

OK, so two key matches for Ultimo Lucha are set, with Puma defending the title against Muertes and Johnny Mundo facing Alberto El Patron, and we’ve got six episodes left in the first season. The opener was garbage but the other two matches are well worth checking out as we build to the season finale!