The SmarK Rant for WCW Power Hour – 02.16.91
No Rampage tonight throws off my whole mojo. Well, might as well review some WCW.
Taped from Cobb County, GA, as evidenced by the giant COBB COUNTY banner across the balcony. Also Perry GA for the numerous matches recycled from WCW Worldwide for this one.
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously
The Steiner Brothers v. Rob Morgan & Mike Samples
Samples gets in Scott’s face, and that proves to be a mistake as Scott throws him around like a sack of shit and gets visibly frustrated with Samples not going up for him. So they haul Morgan in and Rick beats on him, setting up the elevated DDT to finish at 1:38. That top rope DDT was just asking for trouble, although Samples was lucky to get out of the ring before Scott got REALLY pissed off at him.
Flyin’ Brian v. Bill Ford
Not just any Bill Ford, but SCRAP IRON Bill Ford. I’ve never understood that as a nickname for a tough guy. Like, he’s really into recycling? I’ll tell you that WCW is sure into recycling given that 90% of this episode was already aired on WCW Worldwide previously. Ford clotheslines Pillman to the floor, but makes the mistake of pointing to his head to indicate intelligence, and Pillman skins the cat and dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in, Excess Aluminum chokes him out on the ropes, but PIllman puts him down with a dropkick and leg lariat and then hits him with a senton. Air Pillman finishes Compost Heap Bill Ford at 2:48.
Ric Flair v. Mike Hart
Well this is a rarity for Ric. Also we are in a completely different arena for this as they randomly cut and paste their shows together from whatever scraps of tapings they had done at this point. I don’t know where they managed to dig up another Hart that’s not related to the famous ones. The big question is whether this guy is related to other non-Calgarian Keith Hart? Flair tosses Hart and beats on him with chops on the floor. Back in and he necks Hart on the ropes while Paul E makes references to Godfather Part 3, making him the only person to ever do so aside from everyone who started sentences with “Sofia Copolla was so bad in…”. Flair finishes the boring squash with a butterfly suplex and figure-four at 3:40.
Ricky Morton, Tommy Rich & Junkyard Dog v. James Earl Wright & The Master Blasters
Oh man Kevin Nash is now literally in a jobber team at this point. Well at least it can’t get any worse for him in 1991. Ricky slugs away on Blade to start and brings in JYD as JR notes he’s “clearly the man with the most bulk”. That’s one way to put it. Over to Master Blaster Steel for the showdown with JYD that would sell out any dive bar in Montgomery Alabama, but that ends quickly with the Dog headbutting Big Sexy to send him running away. Wait, how come when Master Blaster Iron flaked out and left, they didn’t replace him with SCRAP IRON Bill Ford? That’s literally his gimmick, he’s extra leftover Iron. Ricky comes in and the heels inexplikably get some offense on him, as Steel low key debuts the Emerald City Slam and changes the business. I’m not sure how but I’m confident that there’s some kind of connection. Blade with a powerslam on Morton and he drops a knee for two, and Wright comes in with a headbutt to Ricky’s gut and he drops an elbow for two. Blade goes up and lands on Morton’s foot, and it’s hot tag Tommy Rich as everyone brawls. Well everyone but Steel, who would rather stand in the corner and collect his payday for doing the job while Rich pins his partner with the Thesz Press at 7:13. Smartest man in the business right there. And he didn’t even need to point to his head to show it. There’s a lesson for all you kids there. Also this was taped weeks before the show aired, as they just assemble this nonsense with no rhyme or reason.
WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!
I don’t know if you’ve heard the word on the street , but El Gigante wants to make it known that I WANT THEE BELT. So this prompts the Four Horsemen to attack him, as they are wont to do. I wish they would put the miracle *** match that Flair had with Gigante on the Network so the world could see it was a real thing that existed. I’m still not sure myself.
Meanwhile, DDP’s mystery team to challenge Doom on the Main Event turns out to be the Freebirds, and Teddy Long tries to use a shoe and gets his team DQ’d.
Ron Simmons v. Barry Windham
They slug it out to start and Ron wins that, then slams Barry and goes up, but Windham cuts him off and brings him down with a superplex for two. Ron fights back and teases putting Barry over the top with his punches, and they fight to the floor, before Barry cuts him off on the way back into the ring. Ron with a spinebuster for two and Teddy takes the ref, but Reed runs in and clotheslines Simmons by mistake, allowing Windham to get the pin at 3:30. So this was another one where it was just a hodge-podge of random booking ideas, as this was taped on January 7, before Dusty came in as booker, when they were building to Doom v. Horsemen at WrestleWar instead of where it ended up.
Sting & Lex Luger v. Rip Rogers & Dutch Mantell
That is a tremendous enhancement team and you could not have a more mismatched duo if you tried. Sting pulls out a criss-cross on Dutch and monkey-flips him while going “OWW!” and then Rip comes in and gets press-slammed by Flexy Lex, and Sting quickly wallops him and puts him away with the Scorpion at 2:24. Man they gave 7:00 to that six-man and this work of art only got 2:00? Who booked this crap?
Sid Vicious v. Ray Diamond
Sid with the powerbomb at 0:40.
And we finish with Paul E. bringing a ladder to the studio to show how he’s going to climb up and interview El Gigante at the PPV.
Woof, the company was a directionless mess at this point. This isn’t even hilariously terrible WCW bad, it’s just bad bad. Now, the more immediately pressing question is, do I bother carrying on with the Power Hour, since the entire show was literally rerun matches from WCW Worldwide? It seems like I might as well drop this one and just review Worldwide instead because everything on this particular episode, as an example, was literally a month and a half old. The other option would just be to switch to the Muthaship but I like having the nice breezy 48 minute shows to review instead of having to slog through a full two hours of 1991 WCW. Anyway, I’m opening the floor to discussion on this one.